скачать книгу бесплатно
“You okay?” Jay asked.
Bryan lifted his head, his eyes red rimmed. He wiped his nose with his forearm. “What’s all this stuff about her being my guardian?”
Jay wondered about that, too. Paige Barclay seemed the least likely person he knew to take on a half-grown kid. She hadn’t looked too happy about the idea, either. Which couldn’t have made Bryan feel any better.
“Guess your mom wanted to be sure you had somebody to look after you.”
“Not Aunt Paige!” He tossed aside a bit of straw he’d been chewing. “She’s weird. She dresses prissy and doesn’t even know how to ride a horse.”
Jay wouldn’t call the way Paige dressed prissy. More like citified and fancier than folks around Bear Lake dressed, that was for sure, but nice. Appealing to a man’s eye.
“Lots of people don’t know how to ride,” Jay said. Krissy had made a few snide comments about Paige’s disinterest in horses. So why had she chosen her sister to be her son’s guardian? A kid who lived and breathed horses? Made no sense.
“Why can’t Grandpa be my guardian?” Bryan scratched Archie between her ears and got a lick of thanks in return.
“Your mom must’ve had her reasons.” Jay couldn’t figure out what they were. But then, he’d never figured out what Krissy was all about, either. “Maybe she thought Henry was too old.”
“I know what we can do.” The boy pushed Archie away and jumped to his feet. “You can take care of me. You’re not too old.”
Jay did a double take. His heart pounded in his ears. Him? The boy’s guardian? Would that make sense?
“I’m not a blood relative, Bryan.”
“What difference does that make? You like me, don’t you?”
The boy’s agitation and raised voice caused Bright Star to shift away from him. Bryan patted the horse’s rump to reassure him.
“Yeah, I like you fine. But it’s your mom’s decision, not mine.”
“Don’t I get a say? I mean, isn’t there somebody I can tell that I don’t want prissy ol’ Aunt Paige? They can’t make me go off with her, can they?”
“I don’t know, son.” Jay had no idea what the law was about guardianship, but it did seem like Bryan was old enough to speak his mind to a judge or somebody like that. “Tell you what, there’s no reason to panic. Your aunt looked as surprised as you were about your mom’s request. Let’s give it some time, see how everything shakes out.”
“I can tell you one thing.” Bryan stuck out his chin like a prizefighter challenging his opponent. “For sure I’m not moving to Seattle, if that’s what she or anybody else decides. I’m staying right here with you and Grandpa and Bright Star.”
Jay wasn’t sure Bryan would have a choice, but he sympathized with the kid’s situation. The boy’s life was bound to change after his mother had tried to jump a gully that was too wide for the horse to make. She should’ve known better.
Even if Paige wasn’t scared spitless of horses, he sensed she wouldn’t ever do something that foolhardy.
* * *
A tear dropped on the letter Krissy had written to Paige. She’d brought the envelope with the letter to the room which had once been Grandma Lisbeth’s sewing room. Now it served as a guest room with a narrow daybed.
Her fingers shook as she reread portions of Krissy’s final message.
“I always wanted to be like you,” Krissy had written in her swirling, overly dramatic handwriting.
You were so perfect, never getting into trouble like I did. Even when I tried to be good, I messed up. Like the time I dumped all the nails in one bin at the store because I thought that would look neater.
I thought Mom and Dad would love me more if I did something good for a change like you did all the time.
Paige pressed her lips together and her chin trembled as she remembered how furious their father had been. Poor Krissy hadn’t realized nails came in different sizes and were separated for a reason. Neither their mother nor father had given Krissy credit for trying.
Paige had done as usual and made herself invisible in the back room. Why in the world hadn’t she helped Krissy?
Because you were a coward! You didn’t want your parents to be angry with you.
Finally, as time passed, Paige had realized that Krissy had stopped trying.
Paige sniffed and wiped away her tears. “I’m so sorry, Krissy,” she whispered. “I should’ve helped you. I should’ve been a better sister.”
Blinking, Paige continued reading the letter.
I know I used to drive you crazy by following you around. But I wanted to see how you did it, how you never seemed to get into trouble.
That’s what I want for Bryan. I haven’t been a real good mom, but I love my son more than I can ever say.
It just seems like I always want to see what’s around the next bend in the trail, thinking maybe I’ll find the answer I’m looking for somewhere out there. Fact is, I’ve never figured out what the right question is.
If you’re reading this, it means I took a wrong trail and now Bryan really needs you. He needs your stability, the way you have your head on straight, your ambition and your goodness.
I couldn’t give him those things. I don’t know how. But you can. Please, Paige, take care of my son for me. I love him more than anything in the world.
I love you, too.
I know Mom and Dad would want you to do this.
Kristine
Paige gulped down a whole bucket of guilt.
Mom and Dad would want you to do this.
She blew her nose and wiped her eyes. She slipped the letter back into the envelope, which also contained a copy of Krissy’s handwritten will, Bryan’s birth certificate and a record of his vaccinations up to three years ago.
She’d failed her sister. Like their parents, she’d ignored Krissy’s efforts to fit in, to be loved despite the fact she sometimes messed up.
Leaving the envelope on the daybed, she stepped outside onto the side porch from the sewing room.
Her grandfather owned sixty or seventy acres of land, most of it undeveloped. Paige had only explored a small portion as a child.
In the late afternoon rays of sunlight, the new needles on the pine and fir trees glistened bright green. Aspen trees down by the lake, which had shed their leaves for the winter, with the arrival of spring shimmered iridescent flashes of green in the light breeze. Not far away, Paige could hear Moccasin Creek flowing with snowmelt from the mountains that rose above Bear Lake.
Springtime was a wonderful time to be alive and a lousy time to die.
Tears sprang to her eyes again, and her vision blurred. “Why didn’t you tell me all this when you were alive?”
Paige would have tried harder to get to know Krissy. Understand her.
A painful laugh broke from her throat. What a joke! Krissy had recently celebrated her twenty-seventh birthday. Paige had had all that time to help her little sister and she’d done squat.
Now she had a second chance. With Bryan. If he’d let her try.
* * *
It was nearly dark and Grandpa was sleeping in his recliner when Bryan finally came in the house. He marched right past Paige, who was sitting on the couch reading, and went to his room. He slammed the door.
Patience, Paige. The youngster was facing a big change in his life. Little wonder he was upset.
Grandpa mumbled something and went right back to sleep.
Sighing, Paige got up and walked down the hall. She knocked softly on Bryan’s door. “It’s me. Can I come in?”
“Go away!”
“I think we ought to talk, Bryan. This is all new to me, too.”
Her plea was met with silence.
“Could I at least give you a hug? I know you miss your mother.” She’d hugged Bryan when she had arrived yesterday, but his response had felt more perfunctory than loving. Understandable given the situation and the fact that she hadn’t seen him in months.
She heard what sounded like a boot dropping to the floor in Bryan’s room. A moment later, the other boot followed the first.
“Your mother loved you very much,” she said to the closed door. “When she picked me to be your guardian, she thought it was the right thing to do.” Paige intended to follow her sister’s wishes as best she could. “Please, it won’t hurt to talk, will it? I’m sure we can work things out together.” That, at least, was her prayer.
The knotty-pine door remained firmly closed, the boy’s displeasure radiating through the wooden barrier without the need for words.
Paige hated confrontations. She had since she’d been a child. Although she’d learned how to deal with difficult situations in her position at the hotel, she didn’t think now was the time to push her luck. She’d let Bryan sleep tonight. Hopefully he’d be better able to listen and understand the situation in the morning.
Returning to the living room, she stood looking at her grandfather. There were definite signs of aging. He didn’t move as fast as he used to and she’d noticed he’d become breathless walking into the church for the funeral service. She feared the difficulty was more than the stress of losing his granddaughter.
Maybe Krissy had been right not to rely on their grandfather to see Bryan into adulthood. As much as Grandpa loved the boy, and Bryan loved him, the court might not even accept Grandpa as a viable candidate for guardian.
Too restless to read, and with no interest in checking what might be on the television, Paige decided to step outside for a breath of air and clear her head.
She retrieved her jacket from the sewing room and went out onto the front porch.
The spring air had a snap to it. She stepped off the porch and wrapped her arms around herself. The stars in the darkening sky twinkled in the clear air, a view rarely seen in Seattle. As she watched, more and more stars began to appear, each one filling its special place in the heavens.
Where was her special place? She’d dreamed of living in European capitals, caught up in their history and culture. In college she’d taken both French and German to help her achieve her goal. For the past three years, she’d used her vacation time to visit Elite Hotel properties overseas, immersing herself in the ambience, making contacts, planning her future.
In the course of one day, her future had taken a sharp turn and now included the welfare of a twelve-year-old boy.
* * *
As he headed to the barn for his last check on the horses for the night, Jay spotted Paige gazing at the stars. Cast in the faint rays of starlight, she looked vulnerable. Not the corporate executive who had shown up for her sister’s funeral yesterday. More approachable. More appealing and not so standoffish.
Even though he knew it wasn’t wise to test how welcoming she might be, he strolled toward her.
“How about a nickel for your thoughts?” he asked.
She started then glanced in his direction. “Is it part of your Native American thing to be able to sneak up on people?”
“Nope. My Scottish ancestors used to slip into English castles and make off with barrels of whiskey without making a sound.”
The trill of her soft laughter tickled down Jay’s spine. He hadn’t responded to a woman’s voice so strongly for a very long time.
“I gather they were well motivated,” she said.
“According to the stories my great-grandfather told, fooling the British was a mark of honor in the old days.”
She nodded before looking up at the sky again.
“So have you decided what to do about Bryan?” he asked.
“Krissy wanted me to be his guardian. I owe her that and more. I have to respect my sister’s last wish.”
Jay balled his hands into fists. That might have been Krissy’s wish, but it sure wasn’t Bryan’s. “You’re going to move him to Seattle?”
“That’s where I live. Where my job is.”
“Just curious, but how many horses do you own there in Seattle?”
“None, thank goodness! I live in a condo.”
He pictured shoulder-to-shoulder apartments with no room to breathe, and he shuddered as much for himself as for the boy. “So there’s a stable nearby where Bryan can board his horse?”
“Not that I know of. But Bryan won’t need a horse in Seattle.”
Jay moved a little closer and lowered his voice in frustration. “Miss Barclay, horses are that boy’s life. He lives and breathes for the chance to ride the trails in the mountains. Spot a bear. Or a mountain lion. Being able to see to a horizon that’s farther away than the building across the street.”
She straightened her shoulders. “The city has all kinds of advantages he doesn’t have here. He’ll be able to go to museums, art galleries, hear a symphony orchestra. He can learn to sail on the Sound. Play any sport he likes. It’s a wonderful place to live.”
His jaw was going to crack, he was biting down so hard not to tell Miss Barclay exactly what he thought of that kind of life for Bryan. “You don’t know a thing about raising a boy, do you?”
She backed up a step. “No, but I’m perfectly capable of learning.”
Pacing away from her, Jay struggled to keep calm. Krissy might have been reckless, but her sister was downright stubborn.
He circled back to her and got inside her personal space. “You’re going to take Bryan away from all that he knows and loves and stick him in some condo with neighbors close enough to hear them brush their teeth?” Jay couldn’t imagine any worse way to live, cooped up inside a building where he couldn’t smell the sweet scent of spring or the biting cold of a real winter.
Not budging an inch, she planted her fists on her hips, showing more spunk than Jay thought she had. If she were a couple inches taller, she’d be right in his face. In this case, that would be a bad thing. He might just kiss her, and wouldn’t that fry her beans?
“I know there will be adjustments we’ll both have to make, but that’s what Krissy wanted.”
“And precisely what adjustments are you going make? Take weekends off so you can be home with Bryan?” He was guessing. He didn’t know what her schedule was but he figured working at a hotel she had to work some crazy shifts.
Hooking her hand around the back of her neck, she hesitated. “I can’t do that. I’m the conference manager for the hotel. Most of the conferences are scheduled for—”
