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‘Maxine,’ he said indignantly, ‘I want you. Nobody else. Now I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you with my offer of marriage, but it was sincere. I can’t help being in love with you. I can’t help the way I feel.’
‘But you seem to have no understanding or appreciation of how I feel, Stephen. Is that why you lost the last girl you were engaged to? By not considering her feelings?’
That struck a chord, Maxine could tell. He’d never offered any explanation as to why his previous entanglement with Evelyn had failed, and she had never pressed him for one. It seemed irrelevant to them.
‘I’m sorry, Maxine,’ he said quietly, and sighed like a football being deflated, as if resigned to the situation at last. Perhaps he saw that if he persisted with this he was going to lose her altogether. ‘No more talk of engagements then, eh?’
She shrugged indifferently. ‘I’m not even sure that I want to carry on seeing you.’
‘Maxine!’ He felt a cold shiver run down his spine in his panic. He couldn’t lose her. He mustn’t lose her. ‘Maxine don’t say that. Please don’t say that.’
‘Well it’s true, Stephen. I’m not in love with you. I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love with you.’
‘That doesn’t matter.’
‘Of course it matters.’
‘No,’ he said resolutely. ‘It doesn’t matter at all, because love will come. In time, you will come to love me. Such things happen all the time. I can wait. I’m quite happy to wait.’
‘I think you’ll be waiting for ever.’
‘Don’t say that, Maxine. Look, let’s just go on as we were, eh? I promise I won’t mention marriage or getting engaged again.’
She sighed, a heavy, frustrated sigh; Stephen was not going to be easy to shake off. ‘I don’t know…Do you want to know the truth, Stephen? I feel trapped with you. You don’t give me any space. You don’t allow me any time to myself, or time with any other friends – even with Pansy, your own sister. You want to see me every night of the week when I don’t want to see you. You don’t give me time to practise my cello even, when I need to practise on my own. When I need to stay in and practise you still come round. What do you think I’m going to do when you’re not there? Run off with somebody else? It’s as if you don’t trust me.’
‘Of course I trust you.’
‘You don’t…because you assume I’m like you. You’re judging me by your own standards.’
‘Maxine, I never realised…I never knew you felt that way,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘If that’s what you want, that’s all right by me. I won’t see you every night.’
‘So let’s make it just two nights a week.’
‘Three,’ he pressed.
‘Two, or nothing at all…And I choose which two.’ She could not help but smile to herself. She knew he had to agree or lose her. She had no wish to hurt him or belittle him but she needed space; more now than ever before; and if it cost her his friendship, then so be it. ‘Oh…And no more opening the car door for me. Or any other damned door for that matter. I can do that on my own – if you don’t mind.’
‘Agreed…’ He sighed, and hesitated, as if to say something else.
‘Go on…What were you going to say?’
He felt in his pocket and withdrew the ring. ‘This…Give me your left hand.’
‘Stephen! I don’t believe what I’m hearing.’
‘Hear me out, Maxine…Give me your left hand.’
‘No.’
‘Just give me your left hand.’
He was smiling mysteriously, triumphantly. What sort of silly game was he playing? She gave him her hand tentatively.
‘I’ll only take it off again,’ she warned.
‘It’s no longer an engagement ring, Maxine,’ he said seriously and positioned the ring perfectly on her third finger. ‘It’s no longer an engagement ring. It’s just a ring…Any sort of ring. A ring of friendship. A dress ring. Anything you like.’
‘But it’s not an engagement ring?’ she queried, seeking reassurance. Then, more assertively: ‘It’s not an engagement ring.’
‘I just said so. It’s not an engagement ring. I conceived it and designed it just for you…to have, no matter what. I want you to have it, Maxine. Wear it, or don’t wear it, as you fancy.’
‘As long as it’s not an engagement ring.’
‘Not any more. How many times must I tell you?’
Maxine admired it on her finger again. The magnificent amethyst shone, amplifying the paltry light it picked up from the gas street lamps. It really was beautiful. Stephen certainly knew his job.
‘Okay,’ she said, satisfied. ‘Thank you. Now can we go?’
He drove her home, content that whilst she no longer regarded it as an engagement ring, everybody else would.
Rehearsals that week were hard work. Sibelius’s 6
Symphony was scheduled for its Birmingham airing in two weeks, and nobody, even the conductor, was familiar with the score. But they battled through it, and after the third effort, everybody felt more comfortable with it. Roméo et Juliette, from Berlioz, was also on the agenda, universally popular with the players, and Maxine enjoyed its honest melodic drama.
All week Maxine had been puzzled and disappointed that Brent Shackleton had not taken time to come and chat to her, neither during breaks nor at lunch times. Even when they had finished and it was time to go home he had stayed chatting to his fellow brass. His lack of attention intrigued her. Maybe he had noticed from a distance the new ring she was wearing and, perceiving it as an engagement ring, decided discretion might be better exercised. Maybe if she took it off when she was coming to rehearsals…That would be sensible anyway.
But things took a different turn the following Monday. An evening rehearsal had been arranged so that the CBO could team up with the amateurs of the Festival Choral Society, to practise Beethoven’s mammoth Mass in D. It was the first time Maxine had been involved with choral music.
Rehearsal finished shortly after ten o’ clock and a further orchestra-only rehearsal was scheduled for the following morning. Thus, Stephen need not collect her and her cello since she could leave it packed away in the rehearsal room ready for the next day. Whether Brent had sussed this had never crossed her mind, but he ambled over to her, carrying his trombone case.
He was smiling, which negated any notion that he’d been deliberately avoiding her. ‘You’re looking well, Maxine. Pretty as a picture, as usual.’
‘Thank you.’ She blushed instantly and felt her heart start pounding like a kettledrum. She did not understand why she reacted to him in this way. It was such a nuisance. She did not enjoy blushing; she felt such a fool. Suddenly she was aware of the ring on her finger and tried to avoid showing her left hand.
‘If you don’t fancy going straight home, I’d love to take you to that club I know.’
Lord! He wanted to take her out. ‘I’m not exactly dressed for clubs, Brent,’ she said excusing herself but with bitter disappointment. She was wearing a full navy skirt of a length sufficient to afford some modesty when she was playing her cello, and a white blouse that she felt must be grubby after a whole day’s wear.
‘Oh, you’re dressed fine, Maxine. It’s only a jazz club.’
‘A jazz club?’ Her eyes gave away her interest.
‘Yes.’ It amused him that she seemed to repeat everything he said, but phrased as a question.
Of course, she would love to go to a jazz club. It would be a change to hear jazz. ‘I’d love to,’ she admitted. ‘The only problem is, they’ll be expecting me back home soon.’
‘Haven’t you got a key?’
‘Oh, yes, I’ve got a key.’
‘Well then…Why keep making excuses not to come?’
‘But what about your young lady?’
‘What about your young man?’ he countered.
‘Stephen? He’s not coming tonight.’
‘Neither is my young lady, as you call her.’
‘So what should I call her? What’s her name?’
‘Eleanor.’
‘Won’t Eleanor mind? You taking me to a club, I mean?’
‘I shan’t ask her whether she minds or not. I shan’t tell her anyway.’
Her smile of approval confirmed her collusion. ‘Actually, it’s no business of Stephen’s, either…If you’re sure I’m dressed okay? I could go home and change. It’s only up the road.’
‘You’re fine, Maxine. You look ravishing.’
She thrilled at his compliment, sincere or not. ‘I bet you say that to all the girls.’
‘I might, if they deserve it. Come on, then, let’s go. I don’t want to be late.’
She grabbed her handbag and the navy cardigan that had been draped over the back of her chair and hurtled after him, finding it hard to keep up.
‘How far is it?’ she asked when they were outside in the street.
‘Not far.’
‘Do you have to walk quite so fast?’
He hesitated. ‘Sorry. It’s just that I should have been there fifteen minutes ago.’
‘Why? What’s all the rush?’
‘I’m due on stage. I play in a jazz band.’
‘You play in a jazz band?’
There she went again, repeating his words. ‘Yes. I’m a musician, remember. I have to earn money somehow. The CBO doesn’t pay enough. Here…’ They had arrived at a car; a very smart, curvy looking car; a Mercedes Benz, black, big, flaring with chromium plating. It sported enormous headlights perched on the front wings and a spare wheel nestling in the side sweep. He unlocked the door and threw his trombone and case in the back. ‘Hurry up.’
She let herself in and recognised the rich, dark smell of leather. He fired the engine and they shot off like a hare sprung from a trap. Maxine silently approved of his showing off in this expensive motor car. Yet their journey was short; incredibly short. They had travelled no more than four hundred yards when he pulled into a side street off Broad Street, the main road west out of the city, and stopped outside what looked like an old warehouse. Maxine stepped out of the car and while Brent retrieved his trombone from the rear seat she caught a glimpse of a canal basin harbouring a random fleet of narrowboats tied up for the night.
‘This way,’ he called. ‘Look, do you mind if I go on ahead and see you inside? Silas will let you in. Just tell him you’re with me.’ He dashed off, leaving her to find her own way.
She decided then not to rush. Let him get on with it and indeed, she would see him inside, when she got there. She entered by the door that he had not held open for her and pondered with wide-eyed amusement the very novelty of it. The reek of stale beer, body odour and cigarette smoke was strong, even in the small lobby she found herself in. A man was sitting at a table, and she knew the body odour was wafting from him.
‘One and six to get in,’ he mumbled.
‘How much?’ Now that was inconsiderate of Brent. She fumbled in her handbag.
The man drew asthmatically on a crinkled cigarette that was wet with spittle at one end. ‘Am yarra member?’ he asked, in a thick Birmingham accent.
Maxine could hear the buzz of people laughing and chatting inside, the chink of glasses and the unmistakable plinks of a banjo being tuned.
‘Sorry, no,’ she replied. ‘Do I have to be? I’m with Brent Shackleton, that chap who came in before me with the trombone. He’s in the band.’
‘Wharrim?’ His look suggested both scorn and a suggestion that he did not believe her. ‘You’m a fresh un, in’t ya?’
She shrugged. ‘Fresh as a daisy, me.’
‘Goo on, then, young madam. Gerron in. I’ll believe ya. Thousands wun’t.’
Maxine shoved the door open. She had no preconception of what the inside of this jazz club might be like. It bore no resemblance to the ultra smart jazz clubs in America she’d read about: the Cotton Club in New York, the Sunset Café in Chicago. Bare light bulbs hung dimly from ceiling rafters rendering a sleazy, Spartan atmosphere. Drifting cigarette smoke and the blend of feminine perfumes failed to mask the underlying mustiness that caught the back of her throat like the pungent stink of a damp dog. A few shaky tables furnished the place, acquired from house clearances by the looks of them, and rickety old chairs of similar origin that some people were rash enough to sit on. But most folks remained standing; including the young girls; too young, some of them. The stage, a makeshift affair, was constructed of beer crates supporting sheets of plywood, but Maxine could see several instruments on it, and one or two players getting ready to perform.
Brent located her in the dimness. ‘Oh, there you are. Let me get you a drink.’
‘A glass of lemonade, please.’ She was relieved that he’d taken the trouble to find her. ‘What time do you start playing?’
‘In about five minutes. Arthur’s split the reed on his clarinet. He’s just gone to get another.’
‘Where’s he going to get a reed from at this time of night?’
‘He reckons he’s got a spare one in his car.’
‘In his car?’ she jibed. ‘Not in his instrument case?’ It seemed inconceivable that a clarinettist should not have a spare reed immediately to hand. It was akin to having no spare strings in her cello case. Unthinkable.
Brent turned away from her and addressed the barman. Next thing, she was clutching a half-pint of beer.
‘I asked for lemonade,’ she said, amused that he’d got it wrong.
‘Never mind. You’ll enjoy that. Do you good…Look, Arthur’s back. See you later.’
As he hurried towards the stage, she smiled to herself. Stephen would stifle her with attention if she let him, but Brent was the sort of person who needed space himself, so would never restrict her. She could scarcely believe that two men could be so different. And yet this Eleanor, whom she had seen but not met…Where did she fit in? Was Brent married to her, or was she just a casual girlfriend? Already, Maxine perceived that Brent was not the sort to tie himself down in marriage; she felt they had that in common.
The band struck up, interrupting her thoughts. They were playing a thing called ‘Tiger Rag’. She’d heard it before on a record by the Original Dixieland Jazz Band – a record that Pansy had acquired. Her feet started tapping and a few couples started dancing. Arthur came in with a clarinet solo that Maxine did not consider very enthralling. The trumpet player followed – he was good; he was very good. Then it was Brent’s turn on the trombone and he shone, using a plunger mute and growling his notes with great panache. When it was the turn of the piano player Maxine at once noted his lack of competence, as if his fingers could not work the keyboard fast enough. But the banjo player was brilliant, as were the double bass player, and the drummer. Funny, she thought, how being a capable musician enabled you to pick out the flaws in other musicians’ performances, irrespective of the instrument they played.
When they finished the piece a smattering of applause flecked the background murmur and Arthur announced their next number, ‘Fidgety Feet’. Maxine was familiar with that one as well. A tall young man, smart, wearing a Fair Isle pullover the like of which she had seen on photos of the Prince of Wales, asked her to dance and she felt guilty at having to refuse him. She preferred to listen to the band.
This jazz was so informal, so improvised that it allowed for some ineptitude, she pondered, as she watched the pianist’s fingers stumble over the keys. The odd wrong note wasn’t that noticeable and mostly didn’t matter. The music was full of discords anyway, intermingling of instruments that at times sounded chaotic even though a firm underlying matrix was always present. So why did this pianist stand out as being so ill fitted to his job? The tempo changed slightly and Maxine recognised a tune called ‘Empty Bed Blues’. Arthur, clutching his clarinet casually at his side, sang a couple of triplets – incongruously, since the lyrics were meant to be sung by a woman – then proceeded to give another less than sparkling clarinet solo.
Then it struck her. The pianist. He wasn’t using syncopation. He knew what notes to play, but it seemed that he had not fathomed out how to stress the weak beat, the offbeat. The very elements of jazz, she thought, pitch, texture, melodic and harmonic organisation, all those bent notes, are woven around provocative rhythms. The way this man played he might just as well have been pounding out a hymn in a Methodist mission hut. Maxine felt pleased that she had diagnosed this ailment in what was otherwise a reasonable, tight sound.
Having sorted out the piano player, Maxine regarded Brent. His expression was earnest, eyes closed, sweat dripping off his brow as he slid his trombone through intricate passages in ‘Twelfth Street Rag’. This was evidently his preferred world, his preferred music.
