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“I don’t know much about it. It has something to do with her book club.” He reached out his hand. “May I see it?”
While his smiles didn’t work on Miss Doris, his authoritative tone did. She handed over the notebook and Matthew flipped through it. He recognized Sydney’s handwriting. Words were crammed together on the pages just as he’d seen yesterday morning.
A phrase leaped off the page and caught his attention. “X drove into me with one smooth thrust. My body welcomed him, gripping him tightly, as I tilted my hips, ready for more.”
Sydney was sleeping with someone? His eyes widened as bitter jealousy and painful loss slammed through him. Who the hell was X?
He flipped to the front of the notebook.
The park was quiet this late at night, but I knew we could get caught at any moment. I was kneeling on his discarded flannel shirt and arching my spine. My silent offer was blatant and shameless, but X had other plans. He leaned over me and I inhaled the scent of his woodsy aftershave. He captured my breast with one hand and sought my clitoris with the other. I couldn’t hold back the guttural cries as he caressed me. Short, fast strokes that made my flesh slick and swollen. For him.
Flannel shirt? Woodsy aftershave? That didn’t narrow it down. Even he wore those things. Who was this guy? He flipped through a few more pages.
I sat on the edge of his desk and faced the open window. I was naked but X was fully dressed, lounging in his red leather chair. I should have felt vulnerable but I saw the need in his brown eyes. The desperation. I felt powerful as he spread my legs with reverence and bent his head. I glanced out into the town square before his mouth covered my sex. He moaned from the first taste of me. I gripped his hair with my fingers, urging him closer as he pleasured me with his tongue.
He went very still as his fingertips pinched the paper. Sydney was talking about him. The flannel shirt. The office. But they hadn’t done any of this. He’d thought about it, sure. Every time he saw her, stood close to her or heard her voice. It seemed she had the same ideas.
Something close to triumph surged through him. Matthew tried to maintain a blank expression as his blood was pumping hard through his veins. “You realize this is fiction, right, Miss Doris?”
“Is that the excuse you’re going with? Really?” Miss Doris drawled. “You know, there was a time when you confessed after you got caught. I guess a job in politics will make a man dishonest.”
Back then he’d admitted his wrongdoings because he had been guilty of every accusation.
He suddenly recalled how everyone had reacted today when they’d seen him. “Where did you get this?” Matthew dropped the notebook on his desk.
“I got it from a friend who got it from another friend who found it lying around.”
Matthew sighed and dragged his hands down his face. So basically all of Seedling had heard about the contents of this notebook. “If you knew it belonged to Sydney, why didn’t you give it back to her?”
Miss Doris gave a defiant shrug. “I wanted to confront you with the evidence.”
Evidence? Matthew wanted to roll his eyes. Instead he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and tossed the notebook inside.
“What are you doing?” Miss Doris asked. “I haven’t finished reading it.”
“And you’re not going to.” He kicked the drawer closed. “I’m returning it to Sydney. Immediately.”
4 (#ulink_6e93e168-4264-5306-a573-6e6d9c6ed673)
MATTHEW PARKED HIS TRUCK across the street from Sydney’s home. As he cut the ignition, he settled back in his seat and looked at the small house. It was one floor and made of brick. Sleek patio furniture obviously from her former life sat on the front porch. He noticed she had a big fenced-in yard and not many neighbors.
He became aware of the silence on this warm summer night and realized there weren’t many people out. It wouldn’t get dark for another couple of hours but no one was sitting on their porches or walking around. They must all be at the baseball game. He could hear the lazy buzzing of the bees and the music from an ice cream truck several blocks away.
As he got out of his truck, one phrase kept repeating in his head. You shouldn’t be doing this... You shouldn’t be doing this...
There were a lot of things he shouldn’t have done. Reading Sydney’s notebook would be on the top of that list. Matthew rubbed the back of his neck as he considered his actions. He had tried to convince himself that he’d needed to know what people were talking about, but he hadn’t been prepared to read Sydney’s most erotic fantasies.
Sophisticated and imaginative fantasies. Fantasies he could not compete with.
While his reputation was legendary around here, it was exaggerated. He’d had satisfying physical relationships with women, but that was because his needs were simple. His whole focus had been giving and receiving pleasure.
He shouldn’t have read that notebook.
Matthew saw motion and a flash of black through the slats of the fence and realized Sydney was in her backyard. He walked to the gate and knocked before opening it. “Sydney?”
“Matthew?” He heard the surprise in her voice before she walked into his line of vision. His body tightened as his gaze drifted over her messy topknot, black tank dress and strappy sandals.
Yeah, he shouldn’t be doing this. But he couldn’t stop himself. Not since he found out that he starred in her erotic fantasies. Not since he discovered that they wanted the same thing. The town already believed they were having an affair. And he wasn’t going to let Sydney’s overestimation of his stamina and creativity get in the way.
“What are you doing here?” Sydney asked as she crossed her arms.
“I didn’t see you at the baseball game so I thought I’d drop by and ask if you wanted a ride.” It wasn’t a good lie but it was the best he could come up with.
“Didn’t you get my text?”
“Text?” He reached for his cell phone and acted as though he was scrolling through his messages. “No...what text?” he lied. He was sure he didn’t sound convincing. He was just a farm boy who was known for being too honest and Sydney was used to city guys who lied for a living.
“Wendy and I traded assignments so I’m not going to the baseball game. I had a tight deadline for this other article.” She motioned at the laptop computer on her patio table. “I’m sorry you came all this way.”
“No big deal,” Matthew said as he pocketed his phone. Remembering how much Sydney had written about his smile in her notebook, he gave her a lopsided grin. “Seedling’s baseball team isn’t going to offer an edge-of-your-seat game against Springfield anyway.”
“Yeah...” Sydney bit her lip and looked away. “Well...”
She was acting nervous and uncomfortable around him, and he didn’t like it. He was used to the sexual tension between them, but this was different. She was keeping her distance from him. He needed to change that. If he confronted her about the notebook too soon, she might get spooked again. No, he had to be cautious, even if it meant stretching the truth a bit.
“And if we had sat together at the game, people wouldn’t have left us alone,” Matthew said as he slowly approached her. “They mean well, but my friends and family can be nosy.”
A reluctant smile pulled at her mouth. “Gossiping is Seedling’s favorite pastime.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Matthew said as he watched her closely. “Right now everyone at city hall is acting as if I’m having a red-hot affair.”
Sydney gave a guilty start and her eyes widened. “Really? With who?”
Matthew shrugged. “Don’t know. I’m just getting a lot of winks and nudges.”
She pressed her hand against her chest. “I am so sorry.”
“Why? It’s not your fault.” Embarrassment flickered across her face. He didn’t want her to feel guilty or embarrassed. He wanted her to be brave enough to voice her dreams, reach out and grab him. Tell him about the notebook. Act it out instead of writing it down and hiding it.
“I...I know you’ve been working hard to improve your image.”
“I must have been crazy thinking I could change everyone’s idea about me. I’ve been on my best behavior and no one has noticed.”
She reached out and rested her hand against his arm. “I’ve noticed. I’ve seen how much you’ve accomplished since I’ve been here.”
He stepped closer. “But you don’t know what I was like years ago.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she said and smiled. “I know who you are now.”
Matthew liked the way she gazed up at him. He felt powerful. Important.
“I can’t keep my hands off you,” he confessed as he curled his hand around her waist. “I tried but it’s not working.”
Her smile widened. “Good.”
“Good?” His eyebrow went up. “What was it you said yesterday? Something about how this was a bad idea.”
“I remember saying something about that.” She looked away. “The details are fuzzy.”
Matthew cupped her cheek with his hand. “Sydney, I don’t want to hear any excuses about why we can’t be together.”
Her eyes narrowed. “They aren’t excuses. They’re—”
He bent his head and covered her mouth with his. He kissed with a slow gentleness but it didn’t hold back the hunger inside him. Matthew drew Sydney close to him. “I don’t want to wait anymore,” he confessed.
“Come inside.” She grabbed his wrists and pulled him toward the screen door.
“No, let’s stay out here.”
“Here?” Her eyes widened. Matthew noticed the naughty gleam in her eyes before she banked it. “Someone might see us.”
“I won’t let that happen,” he promised. “Trust me.” He remembered what she’d written in her notebook. Most of the scenes had been outdoors. He had gotten that right about her. She wanted to feel wild and free, bold and daring.
Sydney glanced around as her skin flushed. “O-okay.”
He kissed her and felt her hesitancy. She wanted this but she didn’t completely trust him. Trust that he would protect her. In her fantasies, she’d given him her absolute trust. What could he do to prove she could rely on him in reality?
He gathered her closer, enjoying how soft she felt against him, but she took a step back. Her lips parted as if she wanted to ask a question. She let her hands fall to her sides. Her fingers clenched into fists.
“If you want to go inside, I’m all for it,” he said. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”
“No, I want to do it here,” she replied, her voice high and tight. “Like this... With you.”
“I’ll be honest, I want whatever it takes to be the focus of your world,” he admitted. “I want you to rely on me, cling to me. Forget everything and let go. Feel and not think. Surrender completely.”
She flinched and for a moment Matthew believed he had pushed her too hard, too fast.
“I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust,” he said softly. “I want you to feel safe so you can lose all control around me.”
Her breath hitched in her throat. “I already do,” she whispered.
Triumph swept through him. That was what he’d needed to hear. No qualifications, no bargaining. He wanted her to accept him, no questions asked.
* * *
SHE COULDN’T BELIEVE she was doing this. Excitement clawed through her as her heart pounded. This was risky. Too risky. So why had she agreed to this?
She tilted her head as she listened. No one was around. She heard a slight wind tugging at the leaves on the tree and the chirping of a bird. They were in her fenced backyard; no one would see them. Why not indulge in one of her fantasies?
But this was insanity. How far could she trust Matthew? How far could she trust any man? She’d never really allowed a lover to take care of her. Never let them take charge. In journalism, she had to push, dig and go after a story. She was the same in her personal life. Now Matthew wanted her to follow instead of taking the lead.
She reached out and flattened her hands against the solid wall of his chest, noting how his heart beat under her palm. As she explored his lines and angles, Matthew gently cupped her jaw with both hands and kissed her. She shivered with anticipation and deepened the kiss. Soon she was clinging to Matthew. He bunched her dress in his hands and pulled it off her.
She stood before him in only a bra and panties. The look of wonder on Matthew’s face made her feel extraordinarily beautiful. She felt his hot gaze on her, and her breasts became full and heavy. It excited her but she wasn’t ready to give up all control. Sydney reached for the back clasp of her bra. Matthew covered her hands with his.
“Let me,” he whispered in her ear.
She reluctantly let go and was rewarded with a kiss just below her ear. Matthew trailed a series of kisses along her neck as he pulled the bra straps from her shoulders.
Matthew kissed her collarbone and continued down her chest as her bra fell away. He captured her tight nipple in his mouth. The pleasure was so exquisite that she grabbed his hair and drew him closer. She felt his knowing chuckle against her breast.
She wiggled her hips when his fingertips grazed her panties. Then she heard a car backfire in the distance and jerked away.
“Shh,” Matthew murmured against her bare skin. He rubbed his hand against the small of her back, bringing her into him again. “No one will see us.”
“But...” She knew it was true, but there was always that risk of discovery.
“I won’t let anyone find us.”
She believed him. He would do everything in his power to keep them hidden. Somehow she knew she didn’t have to worry. Matthew wasn’t going to let anyone interrupt or stumble upon them. He would take care of her. All she had to do was let go and focus on the pleasure.
Sydney forgot everything but Matthew’s mouth. He kissed a path from her ribs to her hip as he dragged her panties free. She kicked the scrap of silk free and stood before him naked.
His hands were everywhere, caressing, stroking and cupping. He knew just how to touch her, knew exactly what she liked. Sydney shook with desire as he pulled away to take off his flannel shirt before yanking the white cotton T-shirt over his head.
Sydney swallowed roughly as she stared at Matthew. His arms and torso were tanned and muscular. She wanted to drag her fingers through his chest hair and follow the path that dipped past his low-slung jeans.
He gathered her close, her body fully against his. “Hold on tight.”
Sydney wrapped her arms around his shoulders and suddenly her world dipped. Sydney held on tighter until her back rested on his soft flannel shirt. The scent of him mingled with the grass.
Sydney lay before him, her legs parted, her arms out wide. She felt brazen but unsure. Exposed but powerful.
She watched as Matthew knelt between her legs. His strong hands rubbed her thighs before sliding underneath her ass. Her heart galloped as she felt his breath against her sex before he plunged his tongue into her wet heat.
Sydney groaned and hooked her legs over his broad shoulders. She was tempted to grab him by the hair and drive him closer. Instead she kept her arms spread out wide as the flicks of his tongue made her hips buck wildly. Matthew moaned, his enjoyment obvious as he pleasured her.
Her hands drifted to her breasts. Her skin was tight and tingly. She played with her breasts, pinching her nipples. The scent of her sex filled the air. Her hips twitched as intense desire coiled inside her.
Matthew teased her clitoris with his mouth. The light pressure was all she needed. The white-hot orgasm ripped through her like a crashing wave. She arched her body, opened her mouth, but no words came out as the pleasure scorched her body.
She lay on the ground, limp and spent. Matthew was suddenly on top of her, blocking the sun. “We should go indoors,” he encouraged.
“Don’t stop now. I want you inside me,” Sydney murmured as she arched against him. “Deep inside.”
He hissed between his teeth. “If I do that, I—”
“I won’t let anyone find us,” Sydney promised before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Trust me.”
