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“Yeah, I’m talking about Bernie. My goddamn wife of twelve years. Not that she seems to care how long we’ve been together or even that we have a daughter and a house and a life invested in each other.”
“Would you mind backtracking a minute here? I had no idea you and Bernie were having problems. What’s been going on?”
“Nothing’s been going on,” Chad said, his words heartfelt. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her. She never used to be so emotional. She says I’m not giving her enough attention—well, how is kicking me out of the house going to solve that?”
“Oh, Chad…”
“She says I’m spending all my time at work or with my buddies. But she never complained before. It’s not as if she doesn’t have friends…not to mention the nicest house in town and a luxury car. I’ve provided well for that woman. Last birthday I bought her one of those bracelets with the diamonds all around—”
“A tennis bracelet?”
“Yeah, that’s what the salesperson called it. But I might as well have bought her a bloody blender for all the points it earned me.”
She’d had no idea Chad and Bernie’s marriage was so precarious. From occasional comments of Chad’s, Miranda had surmised they weren’t the closest of couples. But they’d muddled through the years.
On reflection, she wasn’t that surprised they’d hit a snag. They’d married out of high school and Bernie had been pregnant at the time. Not the ideal prescription for wedded bliss.
Not that she was one to judge. After all, at thirty-two she still had no experience with marriage.
Glancing around, she noticed an open suitcase by the window. Some dirty dishes on the coffee table. On the floor, beside the sofa, lay a pillow and some blankets.
“So you’ve been staying here.”
“Hey, I have a pullout sofa bed, and a big-screen TV and a vending machine in the main room—all the comforts of home.” He managed a smile. A weak one.
She supposed he could camp out here as long as necessary. The convenient sofa bed reminded her of the bridge club talk.
“You haven’t done anything stupid, have you?”
He took a moment to digest her question, then protested. “Like sleep with someone else? Come on, Randy. You should know me better than that. ’Course I haven’t.”
But he’d probably had opportunities. Women were always interested in Chad. He hadn’t lost any of the looks or charm that had made him so popular in high school.
“There has to be something. Wives don’t kick their husbands out for no reason.” Another wild thought. “Bernie hasn’t found someone else?”
“God, no. I’m telling you, it isn’t anything like that—her falling in love with another guy or me crawling into bed with some woman. And don’t tell me it could be happening without me knowing, because in a town of five hundred people these things get around.”
Miranda believed him. Since about grade seven, when the girls had first starting taking note of the boys, Bernie had been devoted to Chad.
“This is awful, Chad. I wish I could help….”
“Having someone to talk to helps. You’ve always been that person for me, hey, Randy? Such a good pal. Too bad you and me weren’t the ones who fell in love back in grade twelve.”
Who says I didn’t fall in love with you, Chad? “Yeah, well, that’s probably why we’re still such good friends.”
“Right.”
She reached over to lay a hand on his shoulder, then noticed a framed collage on the wall next to him. The photographs, taken from years ago, included a snapshot of her and Chad on the night of their high school graduation. Not that they’d been dates. No, they’d each gone with someone else. She couldn’t remember either of the names at the moment.
On his desk stood more recent photos. One of Bernie, Chad and a cute little girl with a gap-toothed smile. Vicky was almost a teenager now.
“How’s your daughter taking this?”
“Oh, she’s a real trouper.” Chad straightened his back. “Bernie explained the situation to her. Married couples needing a little downtime, stuff like that.”
“Is that what this is, Chad? A little downtime?”
“I don’t know, Randy. Christ, I don’t know.” He sniffed, closer to tears than she’d ever seen him. “I don’t want my daughter to become another statistic. The victim of a broken home….”
“Surely it won’t come to that.”
He took a deep breath. Plucked at a loose thread in the cushion that separated them. “Bernie’s got me on a schedule. I see Vicky every other weekend, and Wednesdays I pick her up from piano lessons, then take her out for dinner. To the café.”
“She’s twelve now, right?”
“Yeah, she’s grown up fast. Just wait till you see her.”
“I have seen her. Ten minutes ago at Lucky’s. She’s lovely, Chad. But what about Bernie? Have you been talking to her?”
“Hardly. Just a minute here and there in passing.” He dropped his head into his hands, and Miranda patted his back sympathetically.
“Have you thought of marriage counseling?”
Incredulous, Chad stiffened and turned to her. “You’re kidding, right? Do you know what the guys would say when they found out? Hell, all Vicky’s friends would tease her at school….”
“Everyone knows you and Bernie aren’t living together, Chad. If you went to counseling, at least they could see that you’re trying to work things out. More important, Bernie would know you were serious about fixing things.”
“But that’s just the point. Nothing’s broken, so what is there to fix?”
Miranda struggled for patience. “Chad, don’t be a fool. You know damn well your marriage is in trouble.”
“Okay,” he admitted. “But counseling won’t help. Bernie’s made up her mind.”
Miranda felt as if her heart had stopped beating. “She wants a divorce?”
“No…” Chad waved a hand impatiently. “She’s got a list of three things she wants changed. She won’t let me move back in until I agree to all of them.”
“Three things. That doesn’t sound too bad. Why don’t you just concede the points and go home?”
Chad gave her a half smile, then shrugged. “Randy, one of them is that I have to stop being friends with you.”
CHAPTER FOUR
“OUR FRIENDSHIP’S ALWAYS been completely aboveboard.” Miranda jumped up from the sofa. She hadn’t realized Bernie was aware she and Chad kept in touch. Not that it had been a secret or anything. She merely found it more convenient to send e-mails and make phone calls to Chad at his office.
“My wife knows that, Randy,” Chad assured her. “She’s just being unreasonable, trying to keep me on a short leash. But she’s always been jealous of you.”
The one-sided competition hadn’t been fostered by Miranda. Still, she’d been conscious—how could she not be—that Bernie had constantly compared the two of them. Miranda’s better marks at school had annoyed her. In sports, Bernie had always aimed to beat Miranda.
The rivalry had been strongest when it came to boys. Miranda hadn’t needed to do much to attract their interest. Her mother didn’t allow her to date until she was sixteen. Once she’d reached that milestone age, she rarely had a free weekend.
From Bernie’s mean-spirited teasing, Miranda had known she was jealous. But Miranda could never understand why. After all, the best guy of the lot, the only one Miranda was truly interested in, belonged to Bernie.
And Bernie had the nerve to be jealous of her?
“What do we do, Chad?”
“Nothing. Sit down. Relax.” He pulled her to the cushion right next to him. With their thighs touching, he kept hold of one hand. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t expect you to be so upset.”
She could feel the heat of his leg next to her leg, his fingers cupping hers. The intense sensitivity of her nerves was not, she realized, an appropriate reaction to a man who was married to another woman. The good thing about their long-distance friendship was that she rarely had to worry about how to behave when she was with Chad. Now she eased over—creating space between them. She slipped her hand out of his on the pretext of smoothing out a wrinkle in her jeans.
“I’m not that upset,” she said. “Just—surprised.”
“We don’t have anything to feel guilty about. And I refuse to act like a kid when I’m a grown man. I guess I can pick my own friends. Give in on this, and next thing Bernie will start expecting me to cut out my annual fly-in fishing trip to Pelican Narrows.”
“She wouldn’t!”
“Oh, sure, you can laugh. Imagine if someone tried to keep you from going to that artsy-fartsy Toronto Film Festival next fall.”
“As if.”
“So you get my point.”
“Yeah, but maybe I’m the wrong one to be talking to about this. I’ve never been married. I suppose you have to make compromises….” On some things. But surely someone who loved you wouldn’t want you to give up those pastimes that meant the most to you…or friends you’d had almost your entire life.
“Chad, what were the other items on Bernie’s list?” He’d said there were three.
This time Chad was the one to separate himself from her. He got up from the sofa, went to the window to glance at the snow, then shuffled a few papers around on his desk.
“She wanted me to give up one of my curling nights with the guys and rejoin the mixed league with her.”
“How many nights do you curl with the guys?”
“Three right now.” He gave a bashful grin. “Not counting bonspiels.”
“Well, giving up one of those nights to play with your wife sounds reasonable. What’s the last thing?”
Chad turned back to the window, but not before she saw his neck and ears redden. She waited, but he didn’t say anything.
“Aren’t you going to tell me?”
“Her third request is kind of…personal.”
No kidding. Wasn’t this entire conversation? But obviously some problems between a husband and wife you didn’t feel comfortable discussing even with your best friend.
“Not another woman?”
His back went rigid. “I already told you no.”
Yes, he had. But what else could be making him so embarrassed? Something about their sex life? Did Bernie want more? Or less?
Or better?
Hmm… Tempted to tease Chad a little, Miranda just kept her mouth shut. Chad had never liked being made fun of. And over the years Miranda had figured out if there was one subject men were especially sensitive about it was their technique in bed. Politics and religion were safer topics by far.
“I should be heading home. I’ve got the groceries for supper.” And her mother liked to have the meal on the table for six o’clock sharp. As did most of the families in Chatsworth. “Say, do they still ring the town bell at noon and six?”
Chad laughed. “Honey, you have been away for a long time, haven’t you?”
He walked back over to the sofa, slung an arm around her shoulders and led her to the front door. Miranda was pleased that his mood had lightened. Still, she hesitated to leave him.
“Are you okay out here on your own?”
“Thank you for being concerned. You may be the only person in town who doesn’t hate me right now. Even my mother wouldn’t let me move back in with her.”
“Yeah, I heard. What’s going on there?”
“She has this crazy idea that the split is all my fault. Anyway, it’s not that bad out here. Especially when I get pretty visitors. How did a hick town like Chatsworth ever produce a glamorous creature like you?” He stepped back and stared at her. Smiled and shook his head.
Her thoughts were still spinning with all he’d told her. “Chad, why didn’t you let me know sooner about all this?”
“I kept thinking Bernie would change her mind. I had no idea she could be this stubborn. Randy, I never pictured my life this way. I don’t want a divorce.”
“Bernie loves you, Chad. I’m sure that’s not what she wants, either.”
“Well, that’s not the way she’s acting.”
“Maybe not right now. But she’ll come round. You’ll see.” Miranda sought for something to say to cheer him up. “I’ll bet the two of you are together again by Christmas.”
“Christmas, huh? That’s less than two months away.”
“Bernie has always loved you. And people who love each other belong together at Christmas.”
“Can I hold you to that, Randy?”
“Money-back guarantee.”
BERNIE ENGLISH SAT IN the bow-window nook of her beautiful new kitchen, writing in her journal. She’d started it the day she kicked Chad out, and already had about a quarter of the pages filled. She’d hoped it would only take a few nights sleeping on the couch in his office for Chad to come to his senses and realize he couldn’t live without her.
But two weeks had passed and she was beginning to fear she’d totally miscalculated. Maybe even played into his hands.
Perhaps Chad had wanted out for a long time now but had been too afraid to tell her. He’d always hated unpleasant scenes. Telling your wife you no longer loved her would certainly count as unpleasant.
Especially if he never had loved her. She’d always wondered about that. If she hadn’t been pregnant, would he still have asked her to marry him? Probably not, at least not so young. But as naive as they’d been, they’d been terribly happy, too. At least, she had.
Vicky had been an angel of a baby, and Chad had adored her from the start, even before she had. The birth had been hard and long and she’d been so tired. When the nurse tried to put that wrinkled, red child on her chest, she’d said no, thanks. But Chad had held out his hands and cradled the wee thing. As she’d watched him, tenderness had bloomed in her, too.
Bernie grabbed another tissue as her eyes began to water again. Was she going crazy? Sometimes it felt like it. Two weeks ago she’d had everything. A beautiful daughter, a good job, this house, friends…and Chad. Maybe he wasn’t perfect, but he slept in her bed every night and that was something, wasn’t it? Even after twelve years, it was still something.
