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Much as she’d loved the other men in her life— Russell, her best friend and first lover; Nick, the brave police officer who’d been her husband—no one had ever made her feel quite the way T.J. did.
Wildly, crazily, brazenly woman.
He choked out another word. “Beautiful.” Then bent to kiss her nipples, his hands trailing down her back, then up again, coming round her rib cage to enclose the weight of her breasts.
Making love with T.J. seemed to happen so naturally, that later Heather couldn’t really identify any point in time when she’d decided, This is going to happen. It just did, as if it had been preordained. And maybe it had been—from that instant when he’d taken her arm in the bar.
This is why I’ve tried so hard to avoid you, she thought when they were both, finally, naked on the bed. The chemistry between them was so strong—and so inexplicable. It wasn’t as if they even liked each other. When they were kids he’d loved to tease and torment her. And that hadn’t changed once they were adults. So why did they keep ending up in bed together?
She knew it was wrong. She wasn’t the kind of woman who slept with a man she didn’t love. And yet, as T.J. rose above her, his well-defined chest outlined in the faint light from the unshuttered window, she felt as if she’d rather die than deny herself the next few hours. She put her hands to his pecs and felt the hard muscles tense. She hated to admit how much she wanted him right now.
“Heather.” This time there was a question in the way he said her name.
She looked at his face. He was so focused on her, his mouth serious, his gaze steady.
“I haven’t…been with a woman since my wife left. I don’t have any protection with me.”
She couldn’t believe they’d come this far and she hadn’t even thought about birth control. That was also so very not like her. She’d learned the hard way. One moment of carelessness was all it took.
But what if something did happen? Would it be that terrible this time? She was an adult now. In fact, this could be her last chance.
“Heather?
Their bodies were both primed for this moment. Yet Heather knew he would stop if she told him to. What should she do? Besides her aching sexual desire, she felt another secret yearning, equally strong.
She studied the face of the man she’d known all her life. She saw an innocence in his eyes that was usually masked. She saw longing and lust. And something more. Something she’d seen before but been afraid to acknowledge.
Tell him the truth, Heather. She hadn’t been on the pill for years.
“Make love to me, T.J. Please.”
She had no idea a tear had formed in the corner of her eye until T.J. brushed it away with the tip of his finger. Then he kissed the spot tenderly.
“With pleasure,” he said.
And that’s exactly how it was.
CHAPTER TWO
Mid-June
HEATHER AND HER BEST FRIEND Adrienne were seated at the outdoor patio of a restaurant in Yorkton. They’d finished lunch and were lingering over iced lattes. The day was sunny and warm, not too hot. Adrienne looked younger than her thirty-two years in her tank top and capris. Her fingers and toes were painted matching shades of a color that reminded Heather of grape jelly.
Finally Adrienne, who’d been amazingly patient so far, leaned across the table. “So what did you want to talk about? Come on—I’m dying of curiosity.”
Heather had been waiting for the right moment. Now she realized it was never going to come. She cleared her throat. “You’re the first person to hear this—”
“Oh, you’ve got a new boyfriend, don’t you?” Adrienne grinned with excitement. “I thought you’ve had a certain glow lately. He’s good in bed, isn’t he? I just—”
“No, Adrienne. This isn’t about a guy.”
“Really?” Momentarily crushed, Adrienne brightened again. “I know! You’ve decided to take that trip to Europe. You want me to watch your house while you’re gone.”
“No. Not a trip to Europe. Not a trip to anywhere. Adrienne, I think…actually, I know…I’m pregnant.”
Silence. Adrienne’s mouth formed a perfectly round shape. She blinked her eyes once, then a bunch of times, as if she needed to clear her sight.
“But…but you haven’t gone on a date in months.” Her forehead creased. “How pregnant are you?”
Heather knew what she meant. “Eight weeks.”
“Oh. My. God.” She planted both hands on the table, then leaned back. The corners of her mouth turned up. The smile widened into something that looked a lot like delight. “You’re pregnant!”
Relief flooded Heather, making her realize how much she’d been counting on her friend to have a positive reaction. Adrienne knew about her health issues. Knew, too, how giving up her and Russ’s baby when she was younger still tore at her. She touched her hand to her flat tummy. Hard to believe, but the tests had confirmed the news on three separate occasions.
She was going to have a baby.
“And the father…?”
“That’s the tricky part.” She couldn’t meet her friend’s gaze for this. “It’s T. J. Collins.”
“T.J.?” Adrienne fell back in her chair, shocked. Then she leaned forward again and whispered, “But you don’t even like him!”
“I know.”
“He used to make you miserable. You’d walk an extra four blocks to school to avoid crossing his path. And I’ve noticed how you’ve gone out of your way to steer clear of the hardware store ever since he moved back from Calgary.”
“I know, I know. It’s totally crazy.”
“On the other hand…the guy’s rich, he lives in the small town you’ve always sworn you’ll never leave and he’s a hunk. I never told you this, ’cause I didn’t think you’d understand, but if I wasn’t married…”
“Please. I can’t even imagine you not being married.” Adrienne and her quiet husband, Ernie, had been high school sweethearts. Just like Heather and Russell. Only they’d managed the happily-ever-after part, too.
“So tell me how it happened…between you and T.J.?”
“You won’t believe this. It is such a cliché.” Heather explained how T.J. rescued her from the unwelcome advances of Trenton McGuire, then walked her home. “One thing just led to another and the next thing I knew, he was asking if he needed to wear protection.”
Adrienne’s eyes widened. “What did you say?”
“I didn’t exactly answer his question. But I think he may have assumed from…my actions…that I had things covered.”
“Heather!”
“Yeah.” Heather sank deeply into her chair. “He’s going to be so angry with me. Hell, I’m angry with me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m a grade-four schoolteacher in a small town. I can’t have a baby without being in a committed relationship.”
“Was he good, Heather? I’m guessing he was really, really good.”
She couldn’t stop herself from blushing. She didn’t say a thing, just sat there turning more and more red-faced.
“Really? That good? Well, no wonder you lost your head.”
“I knew I was taking a spin at Russian Roulette, but I figured, what are the odds?”
“And you got lucky.”
“Or not lucky.”
“Come on, Heather. You always wanted to have a kid. This is your chance.”
“Yes, but I wanted the whole package. You know, the guy and the marriage and then the baby.” She frowned. “Some days I feel so excited and thrilled about the idea of finally having another baby. But when I try to imagine going back to school, growing big and heavy under the watchful eye of all those impressionable nine-and ten-year-olds, I just don’t think I can do it.”
“The school board won’t fire you. They can’t.”
“I know. But that’s not the point. I don’t want to be a bad role model for my kids.”
“You haven’t told your parents?”
Sigh. “No.”
“Heather…”
“I know. I have to do it soon, but I am so dreading the conversation. Can you imagine how disappointed they’ll be? My second pregnancy out of wedlock.”
Even saying it now, Heather could hardly believe it. She had no idea how her life had turned out this way. She’d always been a responsible person, and she’d tried to make smart decisions with her life. She’d earned her own way through university and had many good friends and a great relationship with her parents.
But she’d been unlucky in love. First, with Russell. They’d been best of friends for years, lovers for a short while, and then he’d met Julie and everything had changed. But while he’d made a life without her, Heather had trouble forgetting about him. Easygoing Russell with his charm and intelligence and kindness had remained her ideal for many years.
She hadn’t even been able to be angry with him about their baby. She hadn’t told him she was pregnant, so she couldn’t blame him for doing nothing. It had taken her years to get over her own pain, however. Finally she’d married a bright, ambitious young cop from Yorkton and looked forward to a future of teaching and raising a family of her own.
But Nick had been shot on the highway when he’d stopped what he’d thought was an impaired driver. The man had been drinking all right. Unfortunately he also had a gun and was intent on committing suicide. He’d taken Nick with him.
And left Heather on her own. She’d sworn to keep clear of men after that, but loneliness had eventually compelled her to start dating again. No one really appealed for more than a couple of dates, though. And she’d begun to despair of ever having the one thing she really wanted.
A child.
“Sometimes I wonder where I made my first mistake. Was it not telling Russell I was pregnant as soon as I found out? Marrying Nick? Sleeping with T.J.?” She shook her head. “Maybe I’m kidding myself, but I really feel too smart to be this stupid.”
“You’ve had bad luck with men.”
“People make their own luck.”
“Whose side are you on?” Adrienne sounded exasperated. “Is it your fault Russell fell in love with the elegant Julie? Or that Nick pulled over a crazy drunk and got himself shot? And don’t you dare blame yourself for sleeping with T.J. Though, maybe, you might have been a little more honest…”
Heather felt like sinking under the table. “Oh, God, he’s going to be so, so furious. Unless… Maybe I shouldn’t tell him.”
“Oh, right. Smart idea, Heather. And what happened the last time you got pregnant and didn’t tell the guy who was responsible? Besides, maybe there’s a silver lining to all this. In fact…” Adrienne stared across the street at the Co-op Grocery Store, but Heather could tell she wasn’t checking out the special on frozen lemonade.
“What, Adrienne? What are you thinking?”
“I’ve just had the best idea.” She straightened in her chair and smiled. “This is so perfect, so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it right away.”
Heather waited.
“Okay. You want to keep this baby, right?”
“Of course.”
“And you don’t want to be a single parent.”
“Right.”
“That means you need to get married.”
“Brilliant, Adrienne. Why didn’t I think of that?” Heather put her head into her hands. This was hopeless. The whole situation was hopeless.
“So,” Adrienne carried on, “that means you and T.J. have to get married.”
“Me and T.J.?”
“Yup.”
“That’s your perfect idea?”
“Even aside from the fact that he’s the father of your baby—which is, by the way, a good reason on its own—the guy is ideally suited to you.”
“T.J. is moody, unsociable and downright rude. Which of those stellar qualities makes him perfect for me?”
“He’s completely different from Russell, that’s what.”
“Adrienne, you’re not making any sense.”
“Russell has been your ideal for too long. You’ve judged every one of your boyfriends against the standard he set. Even Nick.”
Yes, it was true. She couldn’t deny it.
“What you need is a man who is Russell’s exact opposite. That way you won’t be able to compare—they’ll be too different.”
“I see.” Adrienne’s logic was twisted, but it could be followed if you tried hard enough. “And that’s why you think T.J. is so right for me? Because he doesn’t have any of the qualities I admire in a man?”
“Exactly.”
“I think having three sons has scrambled your brains.”
“You could be right,” Adrienne said cheerfully. “Tell you what. Why don’t you come up with a better plan?”
July
HEATHER STOPPED HER MOUNTAIN bike a couple of houses back from the construction site for the Matthews’ new house. They were pouring the foundation today. Heather put a hand to her forehead and squinted against the scorching summer sun.
