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“Well, just not anytime soon. We’re not even married yet.”
“Yes, but I figured as soon as we were, we could start trying.”
My eyes bulge. The wedding is only three months away. If we had a honeymoon baby I’d be delivering this time next year. I’m so not ready for that! “Jack, I’m not ready to be pregnant. I’ve been a manager for a less than a year; I’ve still got ground to cover in my career.” I place my fork on the plate.
Jack’s eyebrows wrinkle. “But what about our babies that are ready to be born?”
I roll my eyes. “They need to listen to their mama and wait.”
Jack laughs. “Fine, but I reserve the right to open this discussion again at another time.” He looks at me expectantly.
I nod. Of course we can talk about children. We both want them; I’m just not ready to have them yet.
He nods back and smiles at me. “Okay, so back to this cake…”
“Jack, seriously, I have to fit into a wedding dress!”
“I’m sure we can figure out a way to burn some extra calories.” Jack offers me a bite from his fork. I open my mouth and the fluffy sweet cake mixed in with the vanilla frosting is amazing. Almost too good, just like Jack. He is almost too good. Almost.
My cheeks warm. “What do you have in mind?”
Jack pulls me in close and kisses me hard. His lips press against mine as if he is answering my question but with more intensity than I could have imagined. He lifts me off my feet and carries me out of the kitchen and into my bedroom. Our bedroom. My chest tightens. I’ve never shared a bedroom with anyone. Even in college, my room was in a suite. Brianna and I shared a bathroom but had separate small rooms. Jack lays me down on the bed.
“What’s wrong?” He traces my face with his thumb.
“Nothing.” I reach for the back of his head to pull him closer to me.
“Lauren, what are you thinking about?” He runs his fingers through my hair. “Tell me.”
I glance at the sheets. The sheets that I picked out on my own. Everything in this room is representative of me. “I think we should buy new sheets together.” I want there to be more of Jack in my house so it seems more like our house. I want him to be comfortable here and know it’s our place.
Jack squints. “Is there something wrong with these sheets?”
I laugh. “No, they’re fine. I like them. But I just feel like maybe…well not maybe, but I think we should buy some together so my place…will seem more like our place.”
“This is your place and it’s only temporary that we’ll be living here together.” Jack kisses my neck.
“Wait, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that we won’t be living here that long.” He trails his lips along my neckline and up to my face.
“Why wouldn’t we live here? It’s a great location and I love it.” I shake my head.
“I love it too. But we need a bigger place. This is nice for a single woman, but you aren’t going to be single for much longer.” Jack’s lips meet mine and I fall into a place of love as our tongues move together. He runs his hands all over my body as he peels off each item of my clothing. My heart is racing. I love being with him and can’t focus on this conversation right now. All I’m seeing is sparkles of pleasure and my mind is moving towards a place where thoughts are not possible.
Chapter Two (#ulink_f7beffa8-f2cb-5cfd-8b5e-1ecd5007fc3d)
It’s the middle of July and despite the air conditioning I’m sweating like I’m back in Texas outside in the heat. The letter on my desk is one I wasn’t expecting. Hallie Brooks has resigned. Now, I have to find another person for my team. This wouldn’t be so bad except I’ve got an email on my computer screen that makes this situation even worse. Trent has been promoted and given his own team. Trent. I roll my eyes. I just hired him in January and six months later he is managing his own team? How does that make sense? This seems too fast, considering. Why did this happen?
Back in December, I got the biggest promotion of my life thus far—given that I hope I haven’t peaked too soon. And I was assigned the task of finding and hiring my own team. And one of those new teammates happened to be Trent. He seemed to hold lots of promise at first and then his true character began to show, and it was uncomfortable and danced along the lines of sexual harassment. Harassment that I never reported. I just tried to handle it on my own and hoped it would go away. But it hasn’t and now I’m being dealt another bad hand. How many times can I fold?
Now, I’ve lost two people from my team and Trent will be competing against me in every aspect of my job. I swallow hard. I don’t understand why Javier wouldn’t consult with me before promoting Trent. I know he’s the boss but shouldn’t he have considered my thoughts on taking someone from my team? I blow air up over my face. Little beads of sweat are popping up along my hairline. I can’t show how stressed I am. I’ve got to remain calm and turn this ship around. I think I’m going to need to get a fan for my office. That will help my temperature out, but this situation…
My chest tightens. Good grief, not again. Simmer down. Push it down. Handle this. Deep breaths. It’s okay. I can get through this. I’ve been through worse. This is a drop in the ocean. The ocean. Focus on the ocean. Yes the cool water. Its waves. I can do this. The waves are smooth and soft on my skin. I’ve got to push past them and get to the shore.
I need to figure something out and fast. Trent works faster than anyone I’ve ever known. I’m sure he already has his team figured out and I need to replace two members of my own. I shake my head.
I still have the stack of candidates from January when I picked the first round of people for my team. Maybe there are some winners in this pile. I flip through them. Leena’s résumé stands out at me. Absolutely not. Not after the way she acted last time I didn’t hire her. I do not want her on my team, under any circumstances.
Brett Barron, he could be a contender. I take his résumé and stats and put them aside. I get through the whole pile with only his papers in my “contenders” stack. I press my lips together. This isn’t good. There must be some new candidates to choose from. I dial the only number that might provide some answers.
“Hey, Javier.”
“Hello, Lauren, I assume you got the email about Trent?”
I sigh. “Yes, I did. I wish you would have spoken with me first, however.”
“Yes, well you were on vacation and we needed to move on this. Trent threatened to leave if we didn’t promote him and we really didn’t want to lose him.”
I nod. “I see. All right, do you happen to have any new candidates since January that you would recommend for my team?”
“Yes, you’ll have to get them from Trent.”
I roll my eyes. “Great, thank you.”
I should have known Trent would pull something like this. He always seemed so shady and that was before he cornered me in the elevator and tried to kiss me. I toss my hair over my shoulder. I wish I could toss him off a bridge. Ha! Not really hurt him but just kind of kick him off my island or something. I exit my office and head towards Trent’s cubicle. Which is empty, of course. The desk is barren of any personal items and the computer is missing. I tap the laminate with my finger. Great.
“Trent has an office now. You know, since he has the same position as you.” Leena is peeking her shiny auburn hair over her cubicle wall and staring at me with her red lips pulled up higher than would seem possible. I get it—she’s happy.
“Right.” I nod and exit the cubicle area. Trent is standing in the doorway next to my office watching me. His eyes darken as I get closer.
“Hi, Trent, congratulations.” I do my best to smile. Even though every centimeter of my lips is protesting.
“Thanks, Lauren, it came as such a surprise.” His eyes twinkle with such cynicism I can hardly stop myself from rolling my own eyes. A surprise.
“So I’ve heard. Hey listen, since you are no longer on my team—”
“And Hallie’s gone too now.” Trent makes a hissing sound with his teeth.
“Yes, anyways, I need the candidate list. Are you finished with it?” I press my lips together.
“Sure, come on into my office.” He opens the door for me and makes his way around to his desk and sits down.
I’m not going to sit down. I just need the list and I’m out of this toxic room.
“Hey, have a seat. Tell me about your vacation. Did you finally choose a wedding date? Or did you decide to call things off?” He cocks his head to the right.
I sigh. “Trent, do you have the list?” I tap my foot against the floor.
“Yes, but what’s the rush? Come on, sit down, talk to me. We’re both managers now. You don’t have to worry about not being on the same level anymore.” He stands up and closes his office door.
Trent’s hand is on the small of my back as if he is trying to guide me to the chair. I take a step towards his desk.
“Trent, I don’t have time to talk. Please just give me the list.”
“All right, let me see if I can find it.” He opens up his desk drawers and begins sifting through papers. “So, I’m taking by your demeanor that you and Jack broke up?”
I roll my eyes. “No, we did not break up. Seriously, Trent, you have to stop this.”
“Stop what? I’m just a concerned co-worker—is there a problem with that?” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“Do you have the list?” I’m about to leave and just go up and down the cubicles and see if I can spot new people on my own. Our floor is not that big—maybe fifty or more rows. I should be able to run the whole floor before noon.
“Yes, Lauren. You seem really on edge. You’re not worried about competing against me, are you?” He winks at me.
“Oh come on, Trent. I’m not worried about you being a new manager or competing against you. My love life is great. The only thing I need from you is the list. Now do you have it or not?” I glare at him.
His mouth turns into a full-on smirk. “Well just between you and me, I plan on taking over Javier’s position next. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure I keep you on the payroll when I hire on the next group of managers. I’ll be bringing in some of my old co-workers from Masters and Schmitt.” He hands me a stack of papers that have been sitting on his desk the entire time.
I shake my head. “I’m not worried and if you think you can take Javier’s position, then you must really have your head in the clouds.” I grab on to the doorknob.
“Really, Lauren? I got in this position, didn’t I?” His hand is on mine. “You might want to change how you think and talk to me. I would if I were you. Pretty soon, I’ll be your boss.”
I jerk my hand off the knob and march out into the hallway. There is no way Trent could ever be my boss. He hasn’t worked here that long. My chest is so tight it’s like it is going to explode. I close the door to my office and lean my head against the laminated wood. This is not good. I’ve got to hire two new people for my team and figure out a way to let Javier know about Trent’s plan without sounding like a paranoid insecure wreck. I need to grab some coffee and tackle this—and not the kind from our break room. This requires Starbucks. I head down the corridor to the elevator.
The elevator is shiny and bright full of promises for a ride to success and yet I can only imagine the opposite of that. I haven’t felt this down about Calstone since I began working here several years ago and now I’m a manager and my aspirations are plummeting. So much has changed since that day. I’ve got to change my attitude and really get things righted on this track with my team… Can I even call it that? There are only three people on it now and I used to have five. I should be adding people, not having them leave in droves.
In my determination to get to the elevator, I barely miss running into Elaine.
“Whoa, what’s the rush?” She grabs on to my elbows.
“Sorry about that, I’ve got a lot on my mind.” I try to push past her but she doesn’t release me from her solid grip.
“Yeah…” She shakes her head. “How are you dealing with losing so many members? What’s your game plan?” Elaine’s eyes zoom in on my face as if she is truly concerned.
“Well, I’ll be adding new ones…excuse me.” I eye her hands with a glare that is not exactly full of friendly vibes. I do not have time for this. I have got to get new team members lined up and quickly. I use as much force as I can without seeming physically aggressive and push past Elaine. I’m sure she is saying “I told you so” in her head. After all, back in January she had an entirely different idea about who should be on my team and why. But that was seven months ago and no matter what it is still my team. I’ve just got to increase the head count. No big deal.
Later I slide into my office chair, complete with much-needed coffee, and power up my computer. As soon as my screen illuminates I see that I’ve got an IM from Trent.
Hey there, I hope there are no hard feelings between the two of us.
My eyes cannot roll back in my head far enough. The nerve of this guy. Hard feelings. There are no feelings…except regret for ever hiring him. He has been trouble since day one. I should have realized it. But as the saying goes…hindsight is twenty-twenty and in this case twenty-zero. As in adding him to my team brought me zero benefits. Argh.
I minimize my IM. I’m going to let that sit and pretend that I didn’t see it. I really don’t care. My number one concern is adding more people to my team and getting our total numbers up. I cannot be on Javier’s no bueno list, as he calls it. There is no need to have taken Spanish in college to get the gist of what that means.
I scan over the résumé list again. Slim pickings…but I’m going to have to work with the hand I’ve been dealt. I can do this. I can find a good group. I’m confident. A name sticks out at me, Marcus Scalia. I nod. I remember hearing good things about him. I send him an IM and flip through the stack once more. Bethany Carlson. Yes, she will be the perfect candidate for my team. I don’t know why I didn’t see her résumé before. Nonetheless, I send her an IM as well and download their sales reports. I pull up the calendar app and send a meeting invite to my current team. I’m ninety percent sure that Marcus and Bethany will be joining but I’ll wait until after we chat to make sure they are right for the team.
A message alert flickers on the bottom of my screen. I roll my eyes. Please tell me, it’s not Trent again. I click on the box. It’s not Trent.
Do you have new people on your team or do we need to have a meeting with Elaine?
My stomach clenches tight and for once I don’t have the feeling of nausea. I respond to Javier.
About to interview two candidates. I think I’ve found the perfect ones. Will update you at noon.
Good to hear. Let’s discuss over lunch.
Sounds great.
I let out a deep sigh that is interrupted by a tap on my door. On the other side is Bethany.
“Hey, Bethany, nice to officially meet you.” We shake hands and both sit down.
“So, I need to hire a few more people for my team and I think you show signs of real potential. Can you tell me what one of your strongest characteristics is?”
Bethany runs a hand through her light blonde hair and nods. “Yes, wow, um I’d love to join your team. I would say my strongest attribute is my customer retention rate.” The sides of her mouth pull up and she glances at the ground for a mere second. “It’s ninety-nine percent, by the way.”
I raise an eyebrow and scan the paper in front of me with her numbers. “True indeed. Well, that is very impressive.” I nod. “Tell me where you see yourself in five years?” I hate to ask these standard interview questions but I have to ask something.
“I’m in this office, in your role and you are above me managing managers.” The glimmer in her eyes couldn’t be more pure and true. I can’t help but agree with her five-year approach.
“Nice, I like your five-year goal. Thanks for meeting with me.” We shake hands and she stands up to leave. “By the way, I’ll be sending you a meeting request, to discuss our team’s goals for this week.”
Her eyes light up. “Thank you, I look forward to receiving it.” Bethany closes the door behind her and I check the clock. I’ve got thirty minutes before my meeting with Marcus. My Starbucks coffee buzz is wearing off and I’m in need of another caffeine fix. I am in a better state here at the office. I don’t seem so frail and like I’m going to be sick. What was that all about? Am I just having anxiety issues about Jack? What does that mean? Should I be concerned? I shake my head and exit my office. I need some coffee. I’m making progress and coffee will only accelerate my speed. I’ve got to get on track and get to where I was before the Fourth of July when I had my team intact. Maybe this change of staff is a good thing. Maybe, after our meeting, things will be better than they had been before. I roll my eyes. I can only hope for such good luck. I shake my head. No. It’s not good luck. Hard work is what makes things happen.
I pick up the coffee pot and pour some into my mug. My cup is a recent present from my mom. She is always giving me various coffee mugs and other paraphernalia. This one says: “I’m about to say I Do” and has a picture of a bride who is trying to check out at a grocery store or something. I’m not sure what the point of this mug is other than my mom wants me to focus on planning my wedding and by using this cup at work perhaps I will be more inclined to do so?
I exit the break room and barely miss spilling my coffee over my blouse.
“Whoa, Lauren, are you okay?” Trent grabs my elbows and if it weren’t for my hot coffee, I would totally jerk my entire body away. But as it stands I can’t.
“Yes, I’m fine. Excuse me.” I cast my eyes on his hands to let him know to release me from his grip.
“Lauren, could we get lunch today? I’d like to talk about something. Maybe we could team up and be successful together.” His dark eyes warm over. They are filled with arrogance and a bit of sincerity. Yet, he is not to be trusted.
“I can’t. Excuse me.” I jut out my chin and motion for him to release me.
Trent takes a step back but his eyes don’t change. I move past him and down the hall. I internally kick myself for not nipping this situation in the bud long ago. But now things have gone on to a point where I feel as if I am partially to blame for not reporting it sooner. I don’t want to sound like I’m a part of the idea of victim-blaming and being okay with it. But maybe if I had reported something with the initial red flag? I shake my head. No. There wasn’t enough to report and now it’s still such a gray area. It makes me uncomfortable but…would anything actually be done if I were to report anything? And now, given my team’s ranking, would they even care knowing that Trent’s team is super successful? This isn’t my first rodeo. I know where most corporations fall in regards to which concerns to consider and which ones to swipe under the carpet, and right now I’m a crumb at Calstone Corp. I’ve got to pull up my team’s rankings in order to be of higher importance for several reasons.
I make it back to my office and take a sip of my coffee. Mmm… My IM pops up and it’s a message from Marcus.
Is it okay to drop by now?
Yes, please. I respond.
I sift through the résumés, find his, and download his most recent numbers to prepare myself for our meeting. He will arrive at any minute. I take another sip of the coffee—I really do need the caffeine. But I don’t want coffee breath during my interview with Marcus. I dive into my purse on the hunt for a spare mint. My fingers run over the metal of my vibrating phone. It’s Jack.
I can’t talk to him now. I don’t want to be in the middle of a conversation with him when Marcus arrives. I send his call to voicemail. A text pops up.
