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My skirt drops to the floor and I toss it on my bed along with my white blouse. I dash to my maple dresser and pull open my comfy clothes drawer. Nothing like a pair of slimming black yoga pants and purple hoodie to make me all cozy inside. And sheesh, thank goodness I had a salad for lunch today. My skirt was not exactly providing a ton of breathable room. Maybe I did overindulge a bit over the holidays.
I made Jack a red velvet cake as part of his Christmas gift. It was the dessert his mother had always made before his parents died. We had it after Christmas dinner with my family and almost everyone was full from the dinner and begged for small slices. Jack took the rest of it home with him and the next day…we got a little creative with the leftovers, especially the cream cheese frosting. My mouth waters. I remember licking some of it off of Jack. Mmmm…I rush back to the kitchen.
With this new position if I do have these late hours, when would I find time to make it to the gym? And the stress. The stress of the job and planning a wedding? My cortisol levels are going to be shooting through the roof. I’ve got to figure out a plan. I might have to add squats or jogging in place into my routine. I squat down ten times in a row. Who am I kidding? I’m exhausted. Doing squats is the last thing I want to do right now.
The white kernels are popping open the lid. I grab my silver popcorn bowl from the bottom cupboard and pour the luscious fluffy snack into it. I swipe my salt off the counter and sprinkle the popcorn. I glance at the clock on my stove. It’s now almost eight o’clock.
I mosey into the living room and place the popcorn on my mahogany coffee table. Megan gave me How to Win Friends and Influence People as a Christmas gift and oddly enough Aurora, my brother Luke’s wife, also gave me a book, A Guide to Medicinal Herbs. I’m not sure why she gave this to me. I haven’t been sick. I pick up the TV remote. I’ve got a nice flat screen. I’m imagining Jack and I sitting here on my couch watching romantic comedies snuggled under a blanket. Will this vision ever come true? My stomach tightens. He visited me in December, but it was only for a weekend and watching movies was not on our schedule. We did sit here on my couch. And we kissed. I sigh.
I flip through the channels. Unfortunately, The Originals is still on winter break. But, oh my gosh, Downton Abbey comes back next week! I’m so excited, I can’t wait to hear what funny lines the grandmother says this season. Nothing is on and I want to get wrapped up in a show without thinking. I click on my DVR. I’d saved a bunch of Christmas movies even though I knew I wouldn’t be here to watch them.
I click on Love Actually. I own this movie but why get up and operate the DVD player when I can simply click play? I toss some popcorn in my mouth. Yes, I nailed it as usual. I might not be the best cook or baker, but popcorn maker extraordinaire I am indeed. I laugh.
I take a sip of my wine, careful not to spill it. My phone flashes next to me. It’s a text from Jack.
“Still at work?”
I tap on his contact and the phone rings once before he picks up.
“Hey there, are you home?” Jack asks.
A rush of warmth flows over my body. “Yes, sorry, I got home after seven, then my mom called.”
“How was your first day as the new manager?”
“Good…well actually it was okay.” My shoulders slouch and I sip my wine.
“Did something happen? You sound different.”
“No, nothing really happened, it’s just I thought I would be choosing my team, but then Javier invited Elaine to lunch with us and she kind of took over selecting the applicants.”
“Huh. That doesn’t seem right. Why would Javier allow that to happen?” Jack tsks.
I purse my lips to the side. “I…don’t know. It kind of came out of nowhere.” I take another sip of my wine. “Elaine has a really…strong personality… I guess Javier values that?”
“Maybe. But Lauren, you have to stand up for yourself…especially in the beginning. If you let her walk all over you now, then that’s where you will remain…on her doorstep.”
I slump my shoulders. Seriously? Is Jack siding with Elaine? I blink.
“Jack…I’m not letting her walk all over me, but there is a certain protocol to these things. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, especially not in my first days as being a manager.” I shake my head. I know I’m right. “I don’t want to seem like the squeaky wheel on the team. Javier has given me a huge promotion and I want to go with the flow of things and be agreeable, not cause issues.”
“Lauren, that’s where you are a hundred percent wrong.”
My eyes bulge out.
“The beginning is where you line things up and make sure you have all of your needs taken care of. Why are you even considering letting someone else decide your team for you? These are people that you will have to work with. You have to determine if they will be the right match for your team. You’re not interviewing Elaine’s team. This is Lauren’s team. Make sure your best interests take priority.”
I twist my lips. Shiat. I shake my head. Jack is probably freaking right. I’m such a fool to let Elaine step in on figuring out my team.
“I never thought about it that way… Jack…what if you’re right? What if she had an ulterior motive and I fell for it?” I bite my lip.
“Hey, don’t get paranoid and think the worst. Just think smarter. Remember, Javier chose you for the promotion because he saw something in you. You lead the way and forget about Elaine.”
“I wish you were here with me right now.” My eyes get a little blurry.
“Damn, Lauren, there is nothing I want more than to be with you right now.” Jack sighs. “I’ve got to get things situated here and then we can make some big decisions.”
“What do you mean?” I scrunch my eyebrows together.
“Lauren, when I asked you to marry me, it wasn’t so we could be in a committed long-distance relationship. I asked you to marry me because I want to be with you night and day. And this…though it’s only been a day is not cutting it. My flight gets in at six on Friday…and there is not a minute that I’m not counting down until that point.”
I laugh. “I feel the same way…but what are we going to do?”
“Hold on to that thought until Friday at six p.m. and I’ll come up with some solutions. It’s late; you need to get your rest.”
I sigh. “Okay…I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Lauren. I’ll see you in your dreams. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
I press end. I didn’t say good on purpose. I miss him so much. I have never experienced anything like this before. This heart-aching sadness from being apart and the reverse of being head over heels pangs in my heart with every thought of him that crosses my mind. I hope he makes good on his promise and offers an actual solution to our long-distance relationship. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out on this.
***
With Jack’s advice in mind I decided to bring my original candidates to Javier’s office as soon as I arrived at work. I tap on his door. There is a slight worry of Elaine being in his office with him. Javier opens the door and his office is empty. Good.
“Hey Javier…good morning.”
“Good morning, how was your first day?”
“Good. I wanted to give you my candidate list.”
He waves for me to have a seat and I hand him the paper with all of my original candidates listed.
“Are these the people you and Elaine decided on?”
“No, these are the candidates, I chose. I appreciate her input, but since this is my team, I think it’s best that I choose them. After all, I’m the one who will have to work with them, not Elaine.” I’m channeling Jack and it makes me feel confident.
Javier’s face forms into a duck expression and he nods. “I’m proud of you. This is another example of you being the right person to lead this team.”
“Thanks, Javier.” I nod, pleased I’d listened to Jack’s advice.
“Okay then, go get your team up and running. I expect great things from you.” Javier turns to his computer, effectively dismissing me.
I stand up smiling and exit his office. Now that my list is chosen, I’ve got to plan out how I’m going to lead my team. I take a deep breath. It’s going to be a long week.
***
Finally it’s Friday. I’m sitting at my desk viewing my Excel spreadsheet filled with numbers that lead into more numbers. After my meeting with Javier, I took all of these digits and formulated equations to help determine the positives and negatives for each member of my team. I now have the route to go down with them and I’m hopeful that it will be a success.
I’ve also managed to avoid Elaine for a couple of days. Surprising, considering I figured I’d hear about it after she learned I hadn’t taken her suggestions, but so far so good. I glance at the clock on my screen. It’s five after five, almost time for me to leave.
Little spurs of excitement form all over my arms and legs. I cannot wait to see Jack. I’ve been anticipating this day since Sunday when I kissed him goodbye at the airport, which was a bit awkward as my entire family was there. I couldn’t help it; I wanted to kiss him one last time and we are engaged. It wasn’t a major PDA, but it was worth it. He has the most kissable lips I’ve ever seen or tasted. I close my eyes. Mmm…not long before my daydream will become a reality. My chest tightens.
My daydream is interrupted by knocking at my door. I shake my head and roll the chair back. I make my way to the door and another knock taps before I can turn the knob. Impatient much? Who could it possibly be?
I open the door.
“Hey Lauren, can we talk?” Leena asks, as she pushes the door open.
“Sure, what’s up?” I motion for her to have a seat.
“Well gosh, um how do I say this?” Leena taps her fingers over her lips.
I glance at the clock. It’s ten after five.
“What is it, Leena?”
“Why didn’t you choose me for your team?” Leena glares at me. Her normally brown eyes have a red flare to them.
I inspect her face and stare directly into her eyes. “Leena, I think you’re a great employee and I value you here at Calstone Corp. Considering this and since we have been cubicle mates for the past year, I think it would be best if you stayed on Javier’s team.”
Leena rolls her eyes. “Right. So you think I’m great, but not good enough for your team?” Leena shakes her head and stands up. “Well you’ll regret this. I’ve seen your list.” She laughs as she exits my office.
Wow. I hope she doesn’t end up on an episode of Killer Women; the anger in her eyes was beyond creepy. It’s now twenty after five—definitely time to leave. I shut my computer down and grab my purse from my drawer.
I’ve got forty minutes to make it to the airport and fall into Jack’s arms. And I’m ready to fall hard. It has been a killer week and that was before psycho-Leena walked into my office. I shake my head as I make my way to the elevator.
Elaine is striding down the aisle in my direction. Argh. Is it possible to exit the building without another confrontation? From the look on Elaine’s face, I’m going with not likely.
“Hey Lauren, I’m so glad I caught you.” Elaine grabs on to my arm.
“Ha, literally.” I eye her hand and then our eyes meet. She holds onto my arm for a second longer before she releases it.
“I haven’t seen you for a couple of days.”
“Yes, I’ve been busy organizing my new team.”
Elaine laughs. “Yes, so I’ve heard. I was talking to Javier…you know we talk every day. I mean…I think he has me on speed dial. Probably before his wife.” She laughs again.
I frown slightly. “I bet she wouldn’t appreciate that.” I stare at her.
“Huh…ah maybe not, but who cares? Listen, Javier told me you went with your original candidates and…though I appreciate the boldness…I think you’re making a decision that you will regret.” She flutters her eyelashes at me.
“Well, it is my decision, but I appreciate your concern,” I flat line my lips, wondering if this woman has ever shown any genuine concern in her life. “I’d love to chat more about this, but I’ve got an appointment.”
There is no way I’m going to mention Jack to her. I can only imagine the digging that will follow.
“An appointment, after five on a Friday? That’s odd. Who is it with?”
“Just an appointment.” I smile and press the down button on the elevator.
“Oh dear, it’s nothing medically related is it?” The false sweetness oozes from her voice.
“Nope, not medical.” I sigh as the elevator doors open. Yes. I couldn’t wait a second longer before I opted for the stairs. Which honestly I should opt for. I’ve got to figure out a way to be more active.
I step into the elevator and Elaine does as well.
“Well if it’s not medical what is it?” Elaine touches my arm. “Is it mental?”
“What?” I shake my head.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry, but if you need to talk, I’m here.” She digs into her purse and pulls out a card, pushing it into my hand. “Here, this is my guy. He’s fabulous, and tell him I sent you. Trust me, this guy can fix whatever is going on up there.” She points to my forehead.
The elevator door opens and I make a hasty exit. “Thanks, I’ve got to run. Have a great weekend.” I call over my shoulder.
“You too, sweetie. And give me a ring if you need anything.” Elaine winks at me.
What the French toast was that about?
I can’t even begin to contemplate that situation. I rush to my car and hop in. My desire to see Jack has only increased tenfold. I turn the key and back out of my parking space. I can’t get out of this garage and the same breathing space as Elaine fast enough. My heart is beating rapidly, like I just sprinted a mile or something. I pucker my lips and let out a deep breath. Calm down, Lauren, you don’t want to be frazzled when you see Jack. Mmm…Jack. My stomach flip-flops with butterflies of excitement.
The traffic is stop and go downtown and my heart is stopping at every pause to consider the reality of being with Jack in less than an hour. My office is located about twenty minutes from the airport. Getting onto the highway takes the longest amount of time, but finally I’m cruising down the 695 with the heat blasting on my seats. The leather is cold from sitting in the garage. As I’m about to exit, the seat is finally warming my legs enough to dampen the shiver.
I steer my car into the parking garage and find a spot on the fifth level. I hop out and rush to the elevator. Being in a darkened parking garage is nothing I look forward to. I tap my foot as I wait for the elevator to arrive. My phone shows its 6:00 p.m. Jack’s plane should be pulling in to the gates. I tense. It’s almost as if time has been standing still since I left him at the airport in Texas a week ago. So much has happened for me here at work, but all of it seems to be washed away as if my life doesn’t exist without him in it.
The elevator door opens and a man is standing in the back corner. Great. His baseball cap is lowered over his eyes. Even better. I push the level one button and dig in my purse for my phone. Time to play chat.
“Oh hey, yes I’m in the elevator. See you in two seconds. I know…yes. Elevator Five. Perfect.”
The door opens and I stride out. I hustle my way across the crosswalk and into Terminal A. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jack is already standing at the luggage carousel. I already checked out which one his flight would be circling. But since he is only staying a couple of nights, he might not even have packed luggage.
I stalk over to the suitcases circling on the metal machine. I scan the group of passengers to see if I can find Jack. And I can’t find him. I make my way through the crowd and loop the entire group. He isn’t here. I swallow. My chest tightens. I glance up at the flight number on the board. It’s his flight. This is the right spot. I bite my lip and circle the carousel once more. There is absolutely no sign of him. My heart begins to flutter as panic starts to set in. Shiat. Did he not make the flight?
I can’t believe it. The last time I came to pick him up from the airport he was a no-show. Followed by a long time with no word.
Please tell me this is not happening again.
Why? I don’t understand. I stumble towards a column and lean up against it. Take a deep breath, Lauren. It’s possible he’s in the bathroom or maybe I missed him during my circles? I seriously doubt it. But maybe I did. I let out a long deep breath. My cell phone vibrates in my purse.
Another deep breath passes from my lips. I’m almost afraid to check my phone. What if it’s a text message from Jack like last time, where he said “something came up” and he couldn’t make it. I let out another deep breath and swipe my phone.
“I’m sorry, Lauren, something came up. I couldn’t—”
I don’t even finish reading the message. I throw my phone back into my purse. I cannot believe this. Are you freaking kidding me? Is this a joke? If so it’s a sick one. I fight back my tears as I charge to the exit doors.
My flight is halted as two big strong arms wrap themselves around me.
