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There was no getting through to him, and that made her want to scream with frustration. ‘I do mean it and, if you don’t stop bothering me, I shall call the police.’
He grinned, with the supreme confidence of the sick mind. ‘They’re useless. Besides, I haven’t done anything. You know I’d never hurt you. I adore you. I just want us to be together.’
She laughed in his face. ‘You can’t be serious!’ she derided and for perhaps the first time she really saw him angry.
‘Don’t laugh at me, Sofie. I don’t like people laughing at me!’ he berated her, then turned and stomped away, anger in every step.
Sofie watched him go down the road and around the corner. Her mind was seething. Somehow she had got through his thick skin and hurt him. Maybe that would be enough to make him stay away. A seed of hope started to germinate inside her. Maybe this time she had actually won. Smiling to herself, she ran up the steps and into the house, feeling more hopeful than she had been an hour ago.
That evening Sofie prepared one of Lucas’s favourite meals, as this was to be their last evening together for at least a week. He had to go away on business and she wanted to make tonight special. Whilst the dinner was cooking in the oven, she slipped upstairs to take a long, relaxing bath, leaving her skin soft and delicately scented. Then she changed into cream lounging trousers and a silky vest top. Glancing at her wrist-watch, she saw time was getting on and, humming to herself, she skipped down the stairs and went into the lounge to mix a pair of fancy cocktails.
Lucas arrived home some fifteen minutes later and, as soon as she heard his key in the door, her body began to tingle with anticipation. Picking up a glass in each hand, she walked out into the hall to greet him.
‘Hi,’ she said huskily and, setting the glasses down on the hall table, slipped into his arms before he had even set his briefcase down. Arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly, taking in the scent and feel of him so that she could remember this moment during the long days he would be away.
‘Hi yourself,’ Lucas replied with a laugh, dropping his briefcase and enfolding her in his strong arms. ‘What brought this on?’
Sofie let her head fall back so that she could see him and laughed softly. ‘I missed you, that’s all,’ she told him, pressing her lips to his neck and jaw in a series of tantalisingly brief kisses.
‘I missed you, too, caro,’ he told her, and moved his head just enough to capture her lips with his own.
There was no way Sofie could hold back when she knew they were about to be parted for the first time since they had married. She kissed him with all the depth of love she felt for him, igniting the passion that was never far from the surface. If Lucas was surprised, it didn’t last long. Soon he was swept away, returning her kisses with the equally powerful love he felt for her.
When they drew back a short while later, neither had any interest in eating.
‘I don’t know about you, but I have no appetite for food right now,’ Lucas growled sexily, and Sofie stroked her finger across his lips.
‘I thought you’d be hungry. I have a casserole in the oven,’ she teased, sending him a sultry look from beneath her lashes.
He grinned, but there was no mistaking the heat of passion in his eyes. ‘I am hungry…for you. Let’s go to bed,’ he suggested and, taking her agreement for granted, swept her up in his arms.
‘Let me turn the oven down. We can eat later,’ she countered quickly, and he carried her through to the kitchen so she could turn down the heat, then back out and upstairs to their bedroom.
Once there, clothing was tossed aside carelessly in their eagerness. Desire mounted swiftly as, naked, they tumbled on to the bed and reached for each other. Knowing that tonight was going to have to last her until he got back gave a greater depth of passion to Sofie’s every kiss and caress. She wanted to show him without words just how very much she loved him, and the result was scintillating. All their senses were heightened, so that the room echoed to their mingled gasps and sighs of pleasure.
Nothing else existed in the whole world other than the two of them as they rolled over, limbs tangling, glistening bodies gliding against each other. Hot breath mingled as increasingly erotic kisses were exchanged, driving their senses wild and tightening the coils of desire inside them. The conflagration was burning too hot and bright to last long. Driven by a powerful need, their bodies came together, fitting perfectly, moving as one towards the desired moment of release. It came in a white-hot explosion that made them both cry out as they hurtled into that realm of space known only to lovers.
Aeons later, their hearts began to slow their frantic beating and reality returned once more. Sofie turned into Lucas’s arms, holding him close. This week was going to feel like for ever.
Suddenly heartsick, she snuggled up to him and closed her eyes. ‘I wish you didn’t have to go away,’ she sighed, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
‘I’d rather stay here, too, but it’s only a week. It will go in a flash. We’ll have a whole lifetime together after that.’
His words comforted her like nothing else. ‘Hmm, a whole lifetime…sounds good,’ she murmured, yawning. A week was nothing. She was just being silly.
She hadn’t intended to sleep, but their lovemaking and her busy day got the better of her. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep. A moment later, Lucas joined her.
For the next couple of days Sofie kept herself busy with work. The photographer she worked for was fully booked and consequently gave her plenty to do. She missed Lucas terribly and couldn’t wait for his nightly telephone calls. The sound of his voice made her feel less lonely, even if it couldn’t fill the gap in their bed at night.
When Wednesday came along, she cheered herself up by telling herself it was only a couple of days until Lucas returned home—a feeling that vanished when he rang that evening.
‘Sorry, caro, but I’m going to have to stay a few days longer. Things aren’t quite going to plan,’ he told her, and her heart sank to her boots.
‘Oh, Lucas, no!’ she exclaimed, emotional tears welling behind her eyes.
‘I know, I know,’ he soothed. ‘It can’t be helped. I’ve worked too hard on this to let it fall apart now. You understand, don’t you?’
Of course she did, but it didn’t make her feel any better. ‘Yes, I understand,’ she replied glumly, then winced as a feminine squeal echoed down the line, followed by the distinct sound of giggling. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked sharply, sitting up, frowning.
‘Oh, that’s just some guys fooling around. We’re taking a break and I’m by the pool. Look, amore, I don’t have much time. Just remember I love you and I’ll be home as soon as I possibly can. OK?’
‘OK, Lucas. Love you,’ she responded, trying to sound cheerful, but her heart was heavy when she set the receiver back down. A few more days sounded like a jail sentence. Not that there was anything she could do about it. She just had to get through it.
She slept badly that night and was consequently late getting up. Because she had a photo session at a client’s house, she picked up the mail as she was leaving the house and stuffed it in her bag. She only discovered it later in the day, when she bought a sandwich for lunch and took it to a nearby park to eat it in peace.
Examining the small collection of envelopes, she recognised the usual bills and junk mail, but there was a large brown envelope at the bottom which had nothing but her name and address typed on it. Curious, she tore it open and reached inside for the contents. They were face down, but it was clear from the markings that what she held were photographs. Wondering who could be sending them to her, and thinking it might be more wedding photos a relative had decided to pass on, she turned them over.
A Post-it note was stuck to the front, with a brief message:
Do you know what your husband gets up to while he’s away? Take a look at these.
Her stomach fell away, leaving her feeling as if she were poised at the edge of a precipice. Trembling fingers pulled the note away, revealing the top photograph, and she gasped as shock hit her like a sledgehammer. There was Lucas, with his arms around a woman she had never seen before. They were laughing and gazing into each other’s eyes as if…
‘No!’ The cry left her lips though Sofie was unaware of saying anything. She flipped the photo up, revealing the next, and her heart cried out in pain, for this time they were kissing.
Shaking her head as if to deny what she was seeing, Sofie looked at each in turn, and in every one it was the same woman, even if the background was different. Anyone could see that the couple were obviously in the midst of a passionate affair. She closed her eyes, trying not to see them, but her brain just replayed each one over and over.
Feeling sick, she forced herself to keep calm. It couldn’t be true. Lucas couldn’t be having an affair! Yet she had the evidence in her hands. But where had they come from? Who had sent them? She searched the envelope, but there was nothing inside, only the stark note. Someone had wanted her to know the truth, but wished to remain anonymous.
It left a nasty taste in her mouth. That person need not be a friend, which gave Sofie a moment’s pause. Despite what she saw, was it true? Could there be some other plausible explanation? That fragile framework of trust she had built since meeting Lucas made her want to believe there was an answer, and the only way to know was to ask him.
Lucas wouldn’t lie to her. She trusted him, and trust was everything. Reaching into her bag for her mobile phone, she flipped it open and groaned when she realised she had forgotten to charge it. There had to be a phone box nearby, so she shoved everything piecemeal into her bag and hurried off to find one. When she did, it was occupied, and she had to wait a nerve-racking ten minutes before she could step inside and close the door.
She didn’t care that it would be the middle of the night where Lucas was, but dialled the number of the hotel he was staying at. There was a long wait whilst the call was put through to his room, but finally it was answered. She was taking in a deep breath when a voice spoke.
‘Hello? This had better be important.’ A distinctly feminine disgruntled voice echoed in Sofie’s ear.
Her heart stopped, and she frowned. ‘Sorry. They were supposed to be putting me through to Lucas Antonetti’s room. There must have been a mistake,’ she began to apologise.
‘There’s no mistake, honey. This is Lucas’s room. Just you hold on and I’ll get him for you.’ Stunned, Sofie could only listen to the noises at the other end of the line. ‘Hey, Lucas, you gorgeous hunk of man. Get out of bed. There’s a phone call for you!’
Sofie gasped in disbelief as her whole world began to shatter around her. She didn’t need to wait to hear more, but slammed down the receiver and tumbled out of the phone box in a state of near devastation. The only thoughts going around her mind were that the photos hadn’t lied. It was all true. All most horribly true!
Looking around her, everything felt alien and she just wanted to get away. Go home and wait for the pain to go away. She flagged down a passing taxi and sank into the seat, dropping her head in her hands. How could Lucas do this to her? She had trusted him! It had taken every ounce of courage she had possessed to trust him and put her faith in their future together, and now it was gone. Shattered into a million irretrievable pieces.
Dear God, it was Gary Benson all over again. He had turned her life into a nightmare, and now Lucas had betrayed her. She couldn’t take it again. She just couldn’t take it!
That same thought was in her mind when she got home. Only it didn’t feel like home any more. It was a place of deception and treachery and she couldn’t spend another night in it. As she looked round the lounge she had spent so many happy hours in, she knew that she was going to leave Lucas. However much she loved him, the trust was gone. If she stayed, she would never trust a thing he said or did, and that would destroy her, so she had to go.
Not just go, but vanish completely, so that she would never see him again. It was the only way, for her love for him might undermine her resolve if she saw him. It might tempt her to stay and try to live with the doubts. No, she must go and never look back. The prospect almost made her break down, but she knew she had to be strong. Later she could fall apart. When it was done. When it was all over.
It was that strength of purpose which made it possible for her to pick up the phone and call her parents. She couldn’t leave without explaining why. After a few rings, her mother answered.
‘Hi, Mum. I…I just wanted to tell you not to be worried if you don’t hear from me for a while,’ she said, her voice catching as she worked hard to keep her emotions under control.
Her mother instantly sensed there was something wrong. ‘Why? What is it, Sofie? What’s happened?’
Sofie drew in a shaky breath. ‘I’m leaving Lucas, Mum,’ she declared tautly, and heard her mother gasp.
‘Leaving Lucas? But why? What’s gone wrong? I thought you were so happy.’ Her mother sounded almost as distraught as Sofie felt.
‘I can’t explain now. Just know that I have to do this. I can’t…’ Her voice broke and she had to bite her lip hard. ‘I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but I’ll write to you.’
‘Oh, Sofie, don’t do anything hasty. Come and talk to us. Perhaps we can help.’
Sofie blinked back scalding tears. ‘Nobody can help. I’m sorry, Mum. I love you both. Don’t worry about me. Goodbye,’ she ended on a broken whisper and set the phone down before her mother could say anything else.
Almost immediately the phone started ringing again, but she ignored it. Going up to the bedroom, she took two large cases from the dressing room and packed everything that she intended to take with her. She hefted them downstairs, leaving them in the hall whilst she went to the desk in the lounge and wrote the hardest letter she had ever had to write. She simply told Lucas she was leaving and that he shouldn’t waste his time looking for her. She wasn’t coming back. Then she sealed it in an envelope, wrote his name on the outside and propped it up against the clock on the mantelpiece.
Finally she rang for a taxi and, whilst the driver stowed her cases, she locked the front door and dropped the keys back through the letterbox. As she went down the steps for the last time, she walked away from all her hopes and dreams.
‘Do you know which station has trains going north?’ she asked the driver.
‘Depends which part of the north you want, love,’ he told her and she shrugged.
‘Just take me to the closest one,’ she told him and sat back, closing her eyes.
It was over. She had done what she had to do. Now she had to find a way to live the rest of her life without Lucas.
CHAPTER ONE
‘WELL, I’m glad I don’t have to tell him that!’ Sofie exclaimed with a laugh as she turned to gather a fresh glass of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter.
Everything was running smoothly, just as she had planned. When her boss had put forward the idea of a photographic competition, she had agreed enthusiastically, never expecting to have the job of arranging and running it. However, it had been a challenge, and she was always prepared to stretch herself. That she would also have to host the award ceremony and help give out the prizes was not what she’d wanted. Drawing attention to herself was still something she preferred not to do. Staying out of the limelight was vital. However, as this was only a local competition, with no chance of a report getting into anything other than local newspapers, she had felt safe in agreeing to do it.
Life had been far from easy these past few years. She had scrimped and saved, trying to keep her head above water by doing any job that turned up. In the end, though, circumstances had forced her to apply for assistance under a new name, and life had improved gradually. Now she had a steady job and a small rented cottage to live in. Even though she had never seen anyone from her past life, it was hard to make herself stop looking over her shoulder all the time. She had come almost as far north as it was possible to go and still be in the same country. Paying cash for everything, she had left no paper trail behind her. Sofie Antonetti had vanished off the face of the earth that day six years ago, and in her place was Sofie Talbot, photographer’s assistant, who kept herself very much to herself. If she was lonely, she never let on. If she was sad, only her pillow knew.
With a satisfied sigh she ran her eye around the room, checking that nothing had gone awry. The action took her away from the group she was chatting to and brought the doorway of the room into her line of sight—just in time to see the tall figure of a man walk in and pause to survey his surroundings. Shock tore through her with all the destructive force of an earthquake, because this was not just any man. She recognised him instantly. Would know him if a hundred years had passed, for he was locked in her heart and would always remain there.
It was Lucas. He had found her.
She couldn’t move in those first few seconds, not even a muscle. This was the day she had dreaded for so long, and yet had longed for in the very depths of her soul. To see him again filled her with unbridled joy, as she had come to think she never would look upon his beloved face again. Oh, she had daydreamed about walking into him in a crowd, or sheltering from a summer storm under a tree and finding him doing the same, but without any real hope of it happening. Yet now it had.
The first shock was passing and pent-up emotion rose to choke her throat and bring the smart of tears to her eyes. He hadn’t seen her yet and she took advantage of it.
Through a crystal blur, she ate him up like a woman who had wandered hungrily in a wasteland and had suddenly found food. She had loved this man beyond reason and doubt from the first moment they had met. There had always been a certain something about him which had made her senses leap in a way quite out of the ordinary for her. No other man had been able to hold a candle to what she had experienced with Lucas. This awareness had hit her like the proverbial ton of bricks. All her senses had come to attention, and she had been so attuned to him it had been uncanny. So much so that, whenever he had entered the same room as herself, she had felt it immediately. Like electricity charging up the air.
She could feel it now, as she stared at him. He hadn’t changed. His hair was the same blue-black she remembered, though he must be thirty-six now. In one of the Italian designer suits he had always preferred, a glass of champagne in one hand and the other casually slipped into his trouser pocket, he was the epitome of a man in control of himself and the world he lived in. It was an air of savoir-faire which she had always found immensely attractive.
Was there any surprise then that she had fallen headlong in love with him and married him, all in a whirlwind matter of months? She would do it again in an instant—except for one huge problem. Whilst she still loved him, and always would, she knew in her heart that he could no longer love her.
That thought brought her back to the reality of the present, and the fact that she was standing staring at a man who would never be as pleased to see her as she was to see him. It galvanised her into action and she turned away hastily, hoping he hadn’t seen her. What had she been thinking of, staring at him so longingly? This wasn’t a happy ending, rather the start of what could turn out to be another nightmare.
Of course, that thought turned her stomach over and she sipped at her champagne as a much needed bolster to her nerve. Think, she ordered herself. Be logical. Because she was hiding from him, that didn’t mean he had found her. This could all be pure coincidence. Why would he look for her here, of all places? She wasn’t even using the name he knew her by. Wasn’t it more likely that he had business in the area? He could even be staying in this very hotel and had looked in at the function out of pure curiosity.
That had to be it, she decided on a wobbly sigh. Not that it helped her very much if he didn’t leave in the next half hour. If he were still here at nine, then there was no way he could be prevented from seeing her. Nine o’clock was the designated time for the presentation of awards to the winners of the photography competition, a task she had been looking forward to.
Photography was her joy and getting back into it, even in such a small way, had gone a long way to giving her a sense of purpose. Life had started to have meaning again, not just days to be got through without the love and support of the man she loved. She had been happy. However, that happiness could be in danger if Lucas didn’t leave soon. If he saw her, there would be the inevitable confrontation, and Sofie feared that the most, because even though she had left Lucas with good reason she knew he would have been furious that she had just disappeared, and there were things she had never told him, the biggest of which would condemn her in his eyes for ever.
With nowhere to hide, all Sofie could do for the moment was leave the room and lose herself in the crowds swelling the other reception rooms. Soon she was caught up in the laughing, chatting groups and was able to breathe a little more easily. Leastways she did until she felt a subtle change in the air and knew that Lucas had entered the room. She tensed immediately and prayed he would move on—but then the back of her neck started to prickle and she knew those endlessly fascinating blue eyes were upon her.
She turned slowly, compelled by a force too strong to deny, her heart thumping sickeningly in her chest. She felt as if she were moving in slow motion, and indeed the noise around her faded into a drone as she saw Lucas standing at the back of the room, eyes fixed on her intently. A sense of inevitability sank over her and her eyelashes slowly fluttered down then up again.
Sofie must have stopped breathing, though she was unaware of it, for now she drew in a long ragged breath. After so long, to finally meet his eyes again was stunning and the connection shot across the room between them like a shaft of lightning. She couldn’t see his expression; she only knew the experience was as powerful as it had ever been.
She waited for him to come towards her, but he didn’t, and confusion set in. As if he sensed it, a faint smile curved his lips and Sofie hurriedly turned away, brain desperately searching for a reason for his actions. Why hadn’t he come and spoken to her? It was what she had expected. Then, of course, she understood. He was biding his time. If and when they talked, it would be on his terms. It was a subtle reminder of the circumstances of her leaving him. That had been under her control, this was to be under his.
A fact she soon confirmed by slowly making her way through one room and then another. Even though her sensitive radar could sense when he followed, she glanced over her shoulder to check. It was clear. When she moved, he moved, but always maintained the same distance between them. He was playing cat and mouse with her, and she was no cartoon character who could turn the tables on him. All she knew was that she couldn’t allow him to see just how anxious he was making her.
‘There you are! I lost you for a moment.’
Sofie spun round, a slightly guilty smile springing to her lips at the sight of David Lacey, her boss and the instigator of the evening. She had forgotten all about him the instant she’d laid eyes on Lucas. ‘I…er…just came in here to get a fresh drink,’ she lied uncomfortably, waggling her glass at him.
‘That’s funny, I thought I was doing that,’ David remarked, holding up two glasses, but Sofie wasn’t listening to him, her eyes had automatically started to search for Lucas again. She found him not too far away, watching the pair of them intently. ‘And the dog ran away with the ham bone,’ David ended dryly, which was where she tuned in again.
Her nerves jumping like fleas, she half-turned away from Lucas and beamed up at her boss. ‘Hmm? I’m sorry, what did you say?’
Not surprisingly, David frowned. ‘Forget it, it wasn’t important. Are you all right, Sofie?’ he asked in concern, then glanced at her glass. ‘How many of those have you had?’ He set the spare glass he had brought with him on a passing tray.
Sofie took a steadying breath, telling herself to get a grip. The last thing she needed was for David to ask awkward questions. ‘Sorry. It’s speech time soon and I’m a tad distracted.’ Hell’s bells, what an understatement that was, and so far from the truth! Knowing that Lucas was watching her every move was hardly conducive to calm. ‘Don’t worry, this is only my second glass.’ She never drank much and had abandoned the first glass because it had become warm and lost its fizz.
‘I see everybody who is anybody has turned out for this shindig,’ David remarked, glancing round the room. ‘Everywhere I look there’s a familiar face. Although having said that, there is one person I don’t know. Have you any idea who the man in the suit by the door is?’
Sofie’s heart gave a wild kick, for she could guess who he meant. ‘What man?’ she asked gruffly, wondering what to do, because if she pleaded ignorance and then Lucas decided to come over, she would be caught out in a lie.
‘It doesn’t matter. He’s gone,’ David replied, not realising how that would affect her.
Sofie turned, her eyes flying to the spot where she had last seen Lucas, and her spirits sank like a stone when she discovered he had moved away. As much as she had dreaded having a confrontation with him, her worst fear was that he would go and she would never see him again!
With something approaching anxiety her eyes scanned the room, searching for him and failed. Completely distraught, she couldn’t believe he had gone without making contact, when he had spent the whole evening watching her. Disappointment weighed heavily on her and she couldn’t explain why. She knew the best thing was for him to go. They couldn’t go back, and had no future. Let him be gone, the logical part of her brain told her. Let this be the end of it. Sadly, her shattered heart would always crave more.
Which was why, uncharacteristically, she took a large gulp of champagne and almost emptied the glass. Seeing it, David’s brows rose and he plucked the glass from her fingers.
‘Steady on! You’ll get tipsy doing that on an empty stomach. Wait here. I’ll go get us something to eat,’ he decided, setting their glasses aside, and would have gone off in search of the buffet had she not placed a staying hand on his arm.
‘No, don’t. I’m fine, really,’ she lied bravely, as her nerves were a mess and she was as far from fine as it was possible to get. ‘It’s almost time for my speech anyway.’
It was a relief when she had to go up and help present the awards. Making small talk with David as if nothing was the matter had been excruciatingly difficult. The last thing she felt like doing was smiling for the cameras, but it was all part of the job and she formed her lips into as near normal a smile as possible.