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He had one night, the one she didn’t recall much about. The result of it was the reason he’d thrown her out of his car and his life.
Why didn’t she remember more of what had happened a couple of months ago? She’d been drinking, as she often did with the roommates, but she usually was careful, never having more than one drink because even that could make her head swim. The others would have can after can of beer until they passed out. She hadn’t. Having finally gained a little control over her life, she didn’t want to chance losing it again.
But one night she hadn’t been cautious because she wanted to forget the bad day she’d had at work waiting tables at a diner. Nothing she’d done had been right, and when she got back to the apartment, she’d given into Austin’s urging to keep drinking. Now she was paying the price for believing he wanted to comfort her. She couldn’t blame him for her stupidity, but she did for his callous expulsion of her from his life.
Taking the nightgown Gemma loaned her as well as a toothbrush, she skipped the hot shower she wanted desperately. The Donnellys were ready to call it a day, and she didn’t want to keep them up. She thanked Gemma, slipped into the little girl’s room and got ready for bed.
It was far softer than any bed she’d slept on since leaving her own comfortable bed at home. Instead of a handmade quilt, the blanket and freshly laundered sheets were covered by an afghan. Its extra warmth would be welcome.
From the other bed, Olivia mumbled something. Katie Kay moved to check the kind and bumped into the table between the beds. Something fell off it and bounced on the floor. She realized it was an inhaler. She looked from it to the kind. Olivia must have asthma.
She put the device on the table and moved to Olivia’s bed. In the faint light from a night-light shaped like a princess, the little girl’s curly hair looked dark, but Katie Kay guessed it was as red as her daed’s. Her cheeks were as full as a well-fed squirrel’s, and she clutched a well-worn, well-loved stuffed kitten to her pajamas that were decorated with more princesses.
Another flurry of tears threatened to fall as Katie Kay smoothed the covers over the sleeping kind. Olivia didn’t resemble Sarann, but Katie Kay remembered tucking in her youngest sister before getting into her own bed. Sarann hadn’t lived to be any older than this little girl; yet that had been far longer than any kind with her birth defects should have lived. Every day of her life, she’d had a smile in spite of the pain she must have suffered.
If Katie Kay had been half as courageous, maybe she wouldn’t have taken the easy way out and left Paradise Springs. Daed had been patient and loving with Sarann, seeing her as a special gift from God. No different from any of his kinder, as he’d said on many occasions.
Why was she remembering that now? She’d let her anger at him banish the memory. Well, it was too late to change anything, and she couldn’t return home. Not when she was unsure if she was pregnant. Not when she hadn’t made up her mind about being baptized and becoming a member of the Amish community. Not when she was confused about so many things.
Including Micah Stoltzfus. She’d changed a lot in the past four months, but she hadn’t expected him to be different, as well. How many times had she joked that nothing ever changed among the plain people?
Something else to add to the long list of things she’d been wrong about.
Going to the other bed, Katie Kay slipped under the covers. Her hair was damp and fell against her face as she turned her head on the pillow to stare out the window at the rain.
In the morning, Micah would be back. She needed to make a plan for what she was going to do.
She wished she knew what that might be.
* * *
Guarding every word he spoke the next morning was almost more than Micah could handle. He sat at the breakfast table with his married brother, Ezra, and Ezra’s wife, Leah, and her young niece, as well as Mamm and his other unmarried brothers. His twin, Daniel, and their older brother Isaiah both were getting married later in the fall. Daniel had built a house beyond the barn where his fiancée already lived, and Isaiah spent most of his time down the road with his late friend’s family that had become his own.
Nobody had spoken of anything connected to Katie Kay. Even so, he couldn’t think of anything other than the blonde who’d returned to Paradise Springs after living somewhere with the Englisch for almost four months.
Only four months? From the lines dug into Reuben’s face by his unrelenting worry, the bishop looked, when Micah had last seen him on Sunday, as if Katie Kay had left years ago. But it’d been June when she left, and now it was October.
He shouldn’t have told Katie Kay he’d say nothing to anyone about her return. That was wrong, and he intended to tell her so as soon as he saw her at the Donnellys’ house this morning. But what if she reneged on her side of the bargain, too, and left without ever seeing Reuben? How could Micah face his bishop knowing he could have taken Katie Kay—willing or not—to her daed last night?
He’d get to the Donnellys’ house early. Sean wasn’t a morning person, something Micah had learned since the two of them had become partners about three months ago. Daniel, Micah’s twin, had invited him to join Stoltzfus Brothers Construction, the company Daniel had started earlier in the year. However, for a couple of years, Micah and Sean had been talking about working together every time they were at the same construction site. They’d pooled their savings and started Plain and Simple Solutions, an alternative energy company.
“You’re plain, and I’m simple,” Sean had said with a laugh when he suggested the name.
“I’ve noticed that,” he’d replied with a chuckle of his own. Sean was anything but simple. He was a brilliant carpenter and a great salesman, finding client after client, so they never were idle. However, the name was perfect for what they did. Simple, green solutions to help Englischers cut their power bills and to enable plain households to get electricity that didn’t come from the grid.
One after another, his brothers prayed silently before they rose from the table and went to their various jobs. Leah and her niece disappeared down cellar, probably to get canned vegetables and meat for the evening meal.
Micah barely noticed them leaving as he wondered if Katie Kay would keep her side of the bargain, even if he’d kept his. He wished he could trust her, but he couldn’t.
For the past year, his brothers had teased him for not asking if he could take her home. They believed he was too shy to talk to her. None of them had any idea of the truth. He’d asked her, driven her home several times and then she’d told him to go bother some other girl and waved him away as if he were as annoying as a gnat.
He had collected the pieces of his broken heart and prayed God would help her see she’d made a mistake. If God had, she hadn’t listened to Him. Last weekend, he’d taken Isaiah’s late wife’s sister Tillie Mast, home from a youth event...to get his brothers off his back. She was sweet and well-known as a great cook. He’d learned, however, contrary to the old adage, that the way to his heart was not through his stomach. He doubted he was giving her a chance, but he’d promised himself he wouldn’t make a fool of himself over a woman again.
“Micah?”
He looked up from his scrambled eggs and fried potatoes when Mamm said his name in a tone that suggested she’d already repeated it more than once. “Ja?”
“Is there someone special you’d like to sit with at the wedding supper?”
The old tradition of pairing off the singles for the evening meal to give them a chance to get to know each other better was one he wished Mamm and Reuben would skip. Forcing a smile, he said, “No one in particular.”
“Not Tillie Mast?”
“You’d do her a big favor by matching her with someone else.” He wasn’t surprised his mamm knew about him taking Tillie home. Eager eyes at the end of an evening noted who left with whom. Because he and Katie Kay had been careful, at her insistence, nobody had noticed them together.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Micah.” She patted his cheek. “You’re a gut boy, and you deserve someone special in your life.”
“I trust God will send her along eventually.”
Mamm picked up her empty cup and carried it to the stove to refill it with kaffi. Holding the cup to let the fragrant steam rise into her face, she said, “Reuben had hoped you and Katie Kay might sit together.”
“What?” He sat straighter and berated himself for not leaving at the same time as his brothers had.
“I hear how Daniel teases you, and I’ve learned there’s a nugget of truth in the jests you two throw at each other.” She took a sip and lowered her cup. “Ach, it’s impossible anyhow, but I keep hoping that girl will come to her senses and return home. It would mean the world to Reuben.”
“I know.” Guilt stabbed him. As soon as he reached Sean’s house, he was going to get Katie Kay and drive her home, whether she agreed or not. He didn’t want to be caught in the middle of this mess any longer.
“Do you know where she might be, Micah?” His mamm went on as he tried not to choke out the truth. “Listen to me. Why would you know where she is? Though the two of you were gut friends when you were younger, things changed.” Sorrow dimmed her eyes. “If you know someone who might know where she is, pass the word along that she is missed.”
“I will.” He intended to tell Katie Kay himself. Bowing his head and saying words of gratitude for the meal while he hoped the Lord would forgive him for his haste, he got up, gave his mamm a hug and hurried out before she could say more.
By the time he had Rascal hitched to his buggy and was on his way to the Donnellys’ house, the sun was turning the eastern sky from black to layers of gray clouds. He practiced over and over what he’d say to Katie Kay. Last night, asking her to be sensible hadn’t worked. In fact, he’d probably insulted her by suggesting she wasn’t acting rationally.
“She isn’t,” he mumbled to himself as he turned onto the road leading toward Ronks. “Why would she return if she didn’t intend to mend the fences she’s jumped over?”
He was missing something important, but what?
The Donnellys’ house was dark except for a light in the kitchen. Micah parked his buggy behind the lime-green antique Volkswagen van that Gemma drove. He stepped out and around the more modern van Sean had painted with their company’s name and phone number, which Gemma answered in the house. Having her help had been a big step toward getting the company going, but Micah wondered if they should hire an answering service. Gemma would be overwhelmed with three young kinder, a boppli and handling the calls. He’d have to talk to Sean about it. His friend was hesitant to make changes that didn’t have an impact on Micah, too. For once, Sean needed to be a bit selfish and think of himself and his family.
Especially after Micah had selfishly left his problem with Sean and Gemma last night. While Gemma had settled Katie Kay, Micah had given his partner an overview of the situation and realized how little he knew about what had brought Katie Kay to Paradise Springs. He planned to get answers today.
“Come in, Micah,” said Gemma, meeting him at the door.
She didn’t usually do that, so he asked, “Is everything okay? Has Katie Kay been—?”
“Sit down, Micah.”
“What’s wrong?” He couldn’t miss the underlying tension in her voice. He’d been about to ask what Katie Kay had done to upset the household, but he restrained himself. Bringing her to the Donnellys’ house had been wrong. He’d transferred his problem to his best friends.
“You should sit down, Micah.”
“Just tell me.” How much trouble had Katie Kay caused?
Gemma took a deep breath and then let it out with a sigh. “I think your friend is pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” He groped for a chair and sat as he stared at her. “That can’t be true!”
“Because her father is a bishop?” She shook her head with a grimace. “Don’t fool yourself, Micah. Her running away was already aimed at hurting him and tossing aside everything she’d been taught. Getting involved with some man wasn’t much of a step further.”
He couldn’t help thinking of Katie Kay saying someone had taken her money along with her cell phone. Was it the man who was the daed of her boppli? He felt his temper rise but pushed it down. Getting angry wouldn’t solve anything. In fact, it might make things worse.
“Where is she?” he asked, relieved his voice sounded close to normal.
“Throwing up.” She looked behind her as Sean came into the kitchen.
For once, his friend wasn’t complaining about the early hour and how work should begin at noon. Instead, he looked from his wife to Micah and sighed. “I guess it’s obvious why she didn’t want to go home. What do you want to do?”
“I want you two to go to work,” Gemma said before he could answer. “I’ve got an unused pregnancy test kit. I’ll take care of her today. You take time to think about what you want to say, Micah.” She gave him a sad smile. “I know you two used to date.”
“I took her home a few times.”
“Which is dating among the Amish.” She wagged a finger at him as if he were as young as her kinder. “Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes.”
“You sound like Mamm.”
“And you sound like you’re trying to change the subject.” Her gut humor fell away as she added, “Katie Kay needs to confirm if she’s pregnant or not before she has to face anyone, including you.” She sighed. “Maybe especially you. I can see she respects you a great deal.”
He snorted his disagreement.
Gemma frowned. “Stop acting like a sulking teenager and listen to me. She’s a young woman in a bad situation. She doesn’t have anyone she can turn to.”
“The boppli’s daed can—”
“I don’t think he’s in the picture any longer. She hasn’t said, though she opened up to me a bit more this morning. Or maybe she slipped up and spoke without thinking. She mentioned something about him chucking her out of his car last night like litter.”
The curses the other construction workers used raced through Micah’s head. He pushed them away and sent an apology to God, but the gut Lord surely understood.
How could a man get a woman with kind and then abandon her in an icy rain?
Gemma put comforting fingers on his arm, but it wasn’t any solace when he recalled how Katie Kay’s same motion had sent ripples of sensation coursing through him. Why did he have feelings for her? He didn’t want to get enmeshed in her charms again. His heart didn’t need to be broken once more.
“I know what you’re thinking, Micah,” she said, “because I feel the same way. Any good Christian would. However, we must deal with what is, not what we would like it to be.”
The sound of kinder came from upstairs. Gemma motioned for him and Sean to go and kissed her husband before hurrying to collect the youngsters.
Sean opened the door so Micah could lead the way out. When his friend didn’t ask any questions, Micah was grateful. Everything was changing. Gemma was right. He needed to take time to think because he was less sure now about what he should do than he had been the night before.
Chapter Three (#u135a0d1f-fcee-5c34-82a2-c6423cd3dccf)
Concentrating on work wasn’t easy, and more than once during the day, Micah was glad he wore the safety rope that kept him from tumbling off the roof. He wasn’t watching where he was stepping. He was also grateful he and Sean and the two men they’d hired to assist them were preparing the support framework to hold the panels being installed on the newly constructed house. With his mind elsewhere, he didn’t want to be responsible for carrying the expensive twenty-five-pound panels up the ladder and setting them in place.
The end of the workday arrived, and Micah came to the realization his plans hadn’t changed from that morning. He needed to talk to Katie Kay and insist she decide. She had to make up her mind and go home or go away.
But if she chose the latter, how would he ever explain to Reuben that he’d abetted Katie Kay? He prayed God would give him the words. She’d been too distraught last night to make a gut decision. But now she’d had a day to think about her future.
Micah stowed his tools in the rear of the van and got in on the passenger side. Sean was already behind the wheel. Reaching for the key, he started the engine as Micah hooked his seat belt in place.
Neither of them spoke as they left the subdivision that soon would consist of nearly twenty new houses. Each would have solar panels, so he and Sean had several weeks of work ahead of them.
“How are you doing?” Sean asked, breaking the silence.
“If I knew, I’d tell you.”
His friend gave him a sympathetic grin. “You’ll feel better after you get this conversation with Katie Kay over with.”
“I hope so.” He didn’t mean to give terse answers, but he wasn’t sure what else to say.
Sean glanced at him and then back at the road. “I think it’d be a good idea if I get Gemma and the kids out of the way so you can talk to Katie Kay without us.”
“Sean—”
“I promised them I’d take them out to a restaurant across from the Rockvale Outlets. It might as well be tonight.”
“You’re a gut friend.”
“And you’re a good partner. If you fall and break your neck because you aren’t paying attention to the job, I’ll have to find and train another.” He looked away from the road again and gave Micah a brash grin. “I know how long that takes because, after all this time, I’ve barely got you trained.”
Micah appreciated his friend’s attempt to tease him out of his somber mood, so, though he didn’t feel the least bit like laughing, he did. “I think you’ve got it backward. I have been training you. You didn’t know which end of the panel went where when I first met you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that if it gives you comfort.”
He listened as Sean continued jesting and tried to laugh at the appropriate times. The truth was, however, that nothing could make him feel better about talking with Katie Kay. No matter what the results of the pregnancy test had been, there still was the issue of her refusal to see her family.
When Sean pulled the van into the driveway, Micah tried to breathe slowly. This wasn’t going to be easy, but he had to convince Katie Kay to do what she should and go home. If she was pregnant, she needed her family more than ever.
Micah gave his friend a brief smile when Sean clapped him on the shoulder as they walked to the front door. As always, Micah let Sean open the door. As always, a whirl of kinder, looking more like a dozen than three, surrounded Sean. Their young voices told him about their day at the same time, each trying to talk over the other. No matter how many times Gemma or Sean urged them to take turns, they were too excited to have their daed home at day’s end.
Standing aside to let the loving assault run its course, Micah couldn’t help envying his partner. Having a house filled with cute kinder and a loving wife who somehow found a way to stand on tiptoe and kiss him over the heads of the excited youngsters would be a true blessing. After seeing his siblings marry and begin to raise families, he’d known it was something he wanted for himself.
As if he’d spoken out loud, the kinder threw their arms around him next, spewing out more of the stories they’d started telling their daed. To them, he was Uncle Micah, though two-year-old Jayden could manage only Mike. He hugged each one in turn, not wanting his anxiety to ruin their happiness.
The kids cheered when Sean announced they were eating out. Gemma smiled, too, but hers was as taut as Micah’s felt. When she glanced at him, she didn’t say anything. It wasn’t necessary. He could tell from her strained expression that the pregnancy test had been positive.
He helped get the kinder into their coats and hats. When he offered to help put them in their seats in the car, Sean shook his head.
“We’ll take care of them. You take care of her.” He gripped Micah’s arm and then herded his wife and kinder out the door.
Micah closed it. Once he heard the car back out of the drive, he went into the living room. Where was Katie Kay?
