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An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.
Clearing the emotion from his throat, Tucker said, “Her aunt Autumn brought Blue here to meet her family.”
“And maybe I’ll get to live here if you want me,” Blue reminded him.
“As I said before, wanting you isn’t an issue,” he replied tenderly. “I do without a doubt. You belong here.”
“Tucker, please,” Autumn warned in a hushed voice beside him. “Don’t get her hopes up. It’s too soon.”
“You have a daughter,” Garrett said disbelievingly.
Tucker nodded. “I do.”
“All these years and you’ve never said anything?” Jackson grumbled, clearly hurt by what he thought had been Tucker’s decision to keep Blue’s existence from them.
“Why don’t Blue and I give you men a few moments of privacy while she gets dressed for the day?” Autumn said, taking her niece by the hand. “Just give me a holler when you’re ready for me to start on those pancakes.”
His brothers parted to let them through.
“Are my uncles mad at my daddy?” Tucker heard Blue ask as Autumn led her away. Any answer her aunt might have given was lost as the two scurried toward the entryway.
Garrett waited a moment and then turned to face him. “I can’t believe you kept this from us.”
Tucker hated the censure he saw in his brother’s eyes.
Jackson crossed the room to grab a couple of coffee cups from the cupboard. “I wouldn’t have expected this from you,” he muttered as he placed them onto the counter and then reached for the coffeepot. “Momma raised us better than that.”
This was going to be even harder than he’d imagined it would be, not that he’d had much time to think about how everything was going to play out. Just one sleepless night in the barn. He took a seat at the table and dragged a hand down over his face, feeling the stubble of his unshaven jaw. “I didn’t know about Blue,” he said, the admission stoking the flames of his resentment toward Summer for keeping his daughter from him. “Not until last evening when Autumn showed up on my doorstep to tell me about Summer’s...passing.” The word caught in his throat.
“I’m sorry,” Garrett said solemnly. “I know how much she meant to you at one time.”
Enough to marry, Tucker thought, his jaw tightening.
Jackson walked over and handed Garrett a steaming mug and then both men settled themselves into the empty chairs across the table from Tucker, disapproval etched into their tanned faces.
“I know what you’re both thinking,” Tucker grumbled. “And you’re wrong.”
“You just told us that Blue is your daughter,” their oldest brother said, pinning Tucker with his gaze.
“She is. Only I didn’t know Summer was carrying my child when she walked away from our marriage.”
Jackson nearly choked on the sip of coffee he’d just taken. “Marriage?”
“You both know I fell pretty hard for her when we met. By the time rodeo season came to an end, I couldn’t imagine leaving her. She felt the same.” At least, he’d thought she had. But if she had, she would have told him about the baby. Would have given him the chance to think about giving up the rodeo life, instead of making the decision herself to end something they had started together. “We both decided to put down roots in Cheyenne, the place where we’d first met. So I bought her a ring and got married at the courthouse.”
“You have something against church weddings?” Garrett asked with a disapproving frown.
“We wanted a quick, small, private wedding.”
“Can’t get more private than a courthouse wedding,” Jackson muttered angrily as he brought his coffee cup to his lips. “You might have at least included your immediate family in something as sacred as the exchanging of your wedding vows.”
Garrett’s downturned mouth pulled tighter. “And to think we all believed you had stayed behind when rodeo season ended to work a job until the next year’s circuit began anew.”
He had found filler work in Cheyenne to help pay the bills. That much was true.
“Did your rushed marriage have something to do with Summer having your baby?”
Tucker pinned his oldest brother with his gaze. “Blue came after the fact. I rushed into a hasty marriage with Summer because I was young and thought love was something it turned out not to be,” he replied, feeling the need to clarify things.
“We all knew you were always one to jump feetfirst into the fire,” Garrett said crossly, “but marriage, Tucker? Never mind the not including us when the nuptials took place, because you and I both know I would have done my best to talk you out of it with you being only twenty-four at the time. But why not tell us about your marriage afterward?”
“Summer and I agreed to take a little time to settle into marriage before telling our families. My family actually,” he amended, “as my wife led me to believe she had none. But things changed. My wife changed.” He went on to tell his brothers everything he knew, but there were still so many unanswered questions he might never get answers to now that she was gone.
Empathy replaced the hurt and anger he’d seen in Garrett’s eyes. His brother released a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. It certainly explains why you’ve avoided any real relationship since that summer. I put it off to your not wanting the distraction while competitively riding. Then after we started up our rodeo stock company I thought it had something to do with your delving hard into that. Never in a million years would I have guessed the truth having anything to do with you being married.”
Jackson sat back against the kitchen chair and shoved a splayed hand back through his thick hair. “I still can’t process the fact that my baby brother is a married man.”
“Widowed,” Tucker said flatly. Then, fighting back the emotion that had been roiling around in his gut all morning, he said, “And it was my forgiveness she should have been seeking at the end.”
“There’s no denying that Summer did you wrong,” Jackson acknowledged with a frown. “But she did right by asking the Lord for forgiveness. If you were there, then maybe—”
“But I wasn’t,” Tucker ground out, cutting his brother off. “I didn’t even know where there was. She left without so much as a goodbye and never made any attempt to contact me, or let me know where she was. At some point, she came back to Cheyenne, but I must have already moved back home.”
“It’s possible she tried to find you at some point, but you were already gone,” Garrett said hopefully.
“Summer knew I was born and raised in Bent Creek. She could have found me easy enough. But my wife chose to keep my little girl from me.” A myriad of emotions filled him at that moment, feelings he didn’t know how to deal with.
His brothers exchanged worried glances and then Garrett said, “It’s going to be okay.”
“How?” Tucker demanded. “I’ve missed so much. My daughter’s first smile. Her first steps. Her first birthday.” Shoving away from the table, he crossed the room to stand at the sink, staring out the bay window that looked out over the back pasture. “I’m her father,” he said, his voice breaking, “and I don’t even know when my daughter’s birthday is.”
Chairs scooted back from the kitchen table and then heavy-booted footsteps crossed the wood planks that made up the kitchen floor. A second later, he was bookended by his older brothers.
Garrett clasped a hand over his shoulder. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling right now, but I do know that the Lord has seen fit to bless our family with your little girl. And while we can’t change the past, and the time we’ve lost with her, we can set our sights on the time we’re going to have with Blue in the years to come.”
Jackson nodded. “Garrett’s right. What really matters is seeing to it that Blue is happy. We’ve got the rest of her life to celebrate her birthdays and holidays, and worship together.”
If only it were that simple. “I pray that’s how it goes,” he replied. “First, I have to prove myself capable of caring for Blue to her aunt. Autumn has custody of my daughter, and, while she’s here honoring her sister’s wishes, she’s made it perfectly clear she’s not going to simply turn her niece over to me.”
“Then you’ll prove yourself capable,” Jackson said determinedly. “All of us will.”
Garrett looked to them both. “Good plan, but care to tell me how we do that when none of us have the slightest idea of how to care for a child, let alone a little girl?”
“Looks like I’m going to have to call Mom sooner than I’d planned,” Tucker said with a sigh. “I’d hoped to wait a few days until I’d had a chance to come to terms with suddenly being somebody’s daddy.”
“Don’t,” Jackson said with a frown. “They’ve wanted to go on this trip for as long as I can remember. What’s a few more weeks?”
Tucker shook his head. “It can’t wait. I won’t lose Blue.” If it came down to it, he’d fight for her legally. But a legal battle wasn’t something he wanted to put his daughter through. So that left proving himself to Autumn.
“You won’t,” Jackson said with conviction. “We’ll figure something out.”
Garrett nodded in agreement.
Tucker glanced toward the doorway. “We’ll talk more later. Right now, my little girl is eagerly awaiting pancakes.”
“See there,” Garrett said with a grin, “you’re already stepping into daddy mode.”
Jackson slapped Tucker on the back. “All I can say is better you than me. I’m nowhere ready to settle down to that kind of responsibility yet. However, I am looking forward to being Blue’s favorite uncle.”
“You’re going to have to settle for second favorite,” Garrett told him as they made their way out of the kitchen. “I have access to kittens.”
“Using your job to win her over,” Jackson grumbled. “That’s low. Guess I’ll have to break out the friendship card and take Blue to Sandy’s Candy’s.” Sandy was a classmate of Jackson’s who made the best homemade fudge in the county. But she also had counters filled with assorted sweets, including an entire section of penny candies.
Tucker felt some of the worry that had been pressing down on him since awakening that morning lift away. He would make this work and be the father Blue deserved, because he wasn’t in this alone. He had his family there to support him, to help Blue settle into what would be her new life. And, most important, he had the Lord to turn to when things got tough.
Chapter Three (#u3f0933d7-15d3-575a-91e3-6dc5a8045a45)
“Are my uncles coming for pancakes today?”
Tucker looked to Blue who was seated across the table from him next to her aunt Autumn. A large lace bow now held her curls in place as they trailed down her back in a neat ponytail. She’d changed out of her nightgown and into a fancy ruffled dress. “Not today, sweetheart.”
“Don’t they like pancakes?” she asked with a worried frown.
He could understand why she might think that. His brothers hadn’t stuck around the morning before after discovering they had a niece partially because they felt they needed to give Tucker some time alone with his “guests.” But he knew, having experienced the same shock of discovering Blue’s existence, that Garrett and Jackson probably needed a little time to process everything. “Your uncles have to check on the horses and see to a few fence repairs.”
“I don’t like horses,” Blue said with a frown, a sticky drop of pancake syrup clinging to her tiny chin.
Tucker’s smile sagged with his daughter’s announcement. How could a child conceived by two parents whose lives had once revolved solely around horses dislike them? More important, how was he supposed to see to it that his daughter was happy there at the ranch when she had an aversion to the very thing that put food on the table for his family? Her family.
Autumn picked up her napkin, dipped it into her water glass and then dabbed at the sticky syrup that had dribbled down Blue’s chin. “Sweetie, we talked about this on the way here. You can’t blame Alamo for what happened.”
“Alamo?” he asked as he watched the ease with which Summer’s sister cared for his daughter.
“Mommy’s horse,” Blue replied as she stabbed at another piece of syrup-laced pancake.
“The horse she was riding the day of the accident,” Autumn explained as she set the damp paper napkin down next to her plate. “She hadn’t owned Alamo all that long, so she had no way of knowing how he would react to being spooked. I have to imagine that most horses would be a little shaken up by a snake in their path.”
He nodded. “Some horses tend to be afraid of snakes. Some aren’t.” His horse wasn’t, but Hoss knew enough to give a snake a wide berth if they happened to cross paths. Same went with Little Joe, his more recently acquired saddle horse. “If only she’d been riding Cinnamon,” he muttered with a frown. “He’d never been prone to spooking.” One of the best quarter horses he’d come across in both manner and spirit.
“There have been far too many if onlys in our lives lately,” Autumn responded with a sigh, her gaze shifting to Blue. Then she looked back to Tucker, a hint of something that could only be described as condemnation in her eyes. “She had to sell Cinnamon after Blue was born.”
“Why?” he asked, unable to comprehend his wife ever parting with her beloved horse.
Autumn’s pretty mouth twisted in a sign of irritation and one slender brow lifted.
“Babies take money, Mr. Wade,” Autumn pointed out. “Medical bills, diapers, formula. Then there’s childcare, because as a single parent, Summer had no choice but to work to keep a roof over their heads. So, as you see, my sister had no choice but to sell her horse.”
Was she attempting to point blame in his direction for the difficulty Summer had gone through? Because it felt an awful lot like she was. “She had a choice,” he said with forced calmness. He might not know much about raising children, but he knew enough to keep adult issues between adults. “I’d be more than happy to discuss it with you further at a more appropriate time,” he said with a nod toward Blue, who seemed totally oblivious to the conversation going on around her. Her interest lay in swiping up every bit of the remaining syrup on her plate with her fingertip.
As if just realizing what she was doing, Autumn reached once more for her damp napkin. “Sweetie, it’s not polite to lick the syrup off your finger.” Taking his daughter’s hand in hers, she proceeded to wipe it clean.
Blue’s tiny mouth fell into a pout. “But I get to lick cotton candy off my fingers. And icing. And—”
“That’s different,” Autumn replied, a hint of frustration in her voice. She set the napkin down and stood, collecting both hers and Blue’s plates and forks. “You’re still sticky,” she told her as she turned and started for the sink. “Why don’t you run on into the bathroom and wash your hands with soap and water while I do up these dishes?”
“There’s no need for you to do that,” Tucker countered, his thoughts still dwelling on the fact that she blamed him for Summer’s having to struggle financially.
Blue shifted in her chair, her gaze trailing after her aunt. “Can we go pick flowers afterward?”
Autumn shook her head. “It’s October, sweetie. Not a very good time of year to be searching for flowers.”
It was good to see his daughter had a fondness for the outdoors. After having spent the previous day stuck inside thanks to a sudden drop in temperature that preceded a brief thunderstorm that rolled in, Tucker looked forward to showing her around the ranch. Not that he had minded getting to know his baby girl while playing dozens of games of Go Fish and Old Maid. Autumn had spent some of that time making work calls, and the rest observing the two of them. Until he proved himself, he had no choice but to accept that everything he did was going to be under Autumn’s close scrutiny.
“Actually,” Tucker said, “I happen to know where we can find some yellow rabbitbrush in bloom.”
Blue’s face lit up. “I like yellow!”
“Don’t you have to help your brothers with those repairs today?” Autumn asked.
He shook his head. “Jackson called this morning to tell me they were going to focus on the two worst sections of the fence line today and see to the rest tomorrow. Garrett has a few vet calls he needs to make today, which means I’m free to take Blue out to find those flowers after breakfast.”
Blue straightened in her chair, beaming excitedly. “Yay! Can we go now?”
* * *
Autumn smiled. “I’ll get you ready as soon as I finish cleaning up the kitchen.”
Tucker nodded. “I’ll give you a hand with these breakfast dishes. Then I’ll go grab a quick shower before we go look for those blooms. That is, if it’s all right with your aunt Autumn.”
Blue swung her gaze around. “Can my daddy get a shower before we go for a ride?”
“Yes.” Autumn wasted no time in responding, a grin parting her pink lips. “He may.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he muttered, a flash of heat spreading through his whiskered cheeks.
A snort of laughter passed through Autumn’s curved lips, drawing his attention in her direction. He couldn’t help but notice how pretty she was when she wasn’t scowling at him with condemnation. Her humor-filled gaze met his. “For future reference, children take almost everything that is said quite literally.”
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”
She looked to Blue. “What Tucker...that is, your daddy,” she promptly corrected, “meant to say was that he needs to make sure your going for a ride with him would be all right with me.”
“The invitation was for the both of you,” Tucker clarified.
“Oh,” Autumn said, as if surprised by his wanting to include her. “I thought—”
“You’ve thought a lot of things about me that I hope to have a chance to set to rights,” he said determinedly.
“Can we go?” Blue pleaded, her face alight with excitement. “Please, Aunt Autumn!”
