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‘We all thought she was mad moving away from Nantwich and setting up in Sedgefield, of all places. Her mum was absolutely against it but Kathy was as stubborn then as she is now,’ Judith said.
‘She’s stubborn?’ asked Ken before turning to Maggie and saying, ‘I have to take cover when those two are in the same room. How they’ve remained friends for the best part of fifty years is beyond me.’
‘I’m glad they did,’ James added. ‘It’s thanks to Kathy that I found Maggie.’
Judith had taken a breath to berate her husband but James’s comment knocked the wind out of her sails. She exhaled with a sigh.
‘You’ve done a lovely job in this room,’ Ken said to break the silence that Maggie was waiting for James to fill. ‘In fact, the whole house is really coming along.’
‘Yes, it’s been a hard slog stripping everything back. This room must have had about six layers of wallpaper underneath,’ James explained. ‘But the end result is all down to Maggie.’
‘Oh, James, you always did hate taking credit for anything. He was exactly the same when he was little,’ Judith said.
When Maggie spoke, her tone was that of a frustrated schoolmistress who was tired of repeating herself yet still managed to keep up a façade of good humour. ‘I chose rosemary and peppermint for the theme because they both have properties that help with digestion, perfect for a dining room, and of course the blue-green of the peppermint complements the silvery rosemary leaves. I may not be able to see colours any more, but I can still visualise them with my sense of smell. My mum taught me the basics and training for my accreditation as an aromatherapist brought even more depth to that visualisation,’ Maggie said, using the opportunity to remind Judith that she was a skilled professional. ‘Every room has been carefully thought through and my next project will be the third bedroom.’
Maggie turned towards James in grim expectation.
‘It’s a fair-size room,’ Ken said, ‘not one of those boxy third bedrooms by anyone’s standards, but the boys will still fight over who keeps the bigger one.’
James didn’t answer immediately and the sense of anticipation was tortuous. Maggie had to bite her tongue to stop herself from jumping in. As he cleared his throat, his discomfort was obvious and contradicted all his previous assurances that his parents would take the news well.
‘Actually,’ James paused, ‘it’s going to be a nursery. We’re going to have a baby. Maggie is due at the end of October.’
Maggie couldn’t see Judith’s jaw drop but she imagined it had just hit the table. She looked in her direction and dared her to speak her mind.
‘Son, that’s fantast—’ Ken began but the first spark of delight was brutally snuffed out by his wife, whose reaction was true to form.
‘Oh, James, what were you thinking?’
‘What do you mean?’ James’s question had an edge to it.
‘Have you really thought this through? What about your plans for the future?’
‘This is my future, Mum.’
Judith was only momentarily silenced. ‘I know you’re coping now but wouldn’t a baby be taking on too much? I was worried about how you would manage to keep your business going once you and Maggie moved in together but credit to you, in fact credit to you both, you’ve proved me wrong but, son … seriously? How are you going to manage looking after a baby too?’
Maggie remained silent as Judith blustered on.
‘I’m going to help, of course I will,’ James said. ‘But Maggie is perfectly capable of caring for the baby, just like she’s perfectly capable of caring for herself and her husband.’ He reached over to take Maggie’s hand and, as the tips of her fingers brushed against his wrist, she could feel his pulse racing.
Despite wrestling with her own doubts, Maggie refused to let it show. ‘There will be changes and there will be challenges,’ she said. ‘But we’ll overcome them and we’ll be the best parents we possibly can.’
‘But—’ The single word came out like a torpedo, a warning shot for the tirade that would follow but in a rare display of assertiveness, Ken disarmed his wife.
‘We’re both surprised by the news, that’s all. Congratulations, both of you. You can count on us for our support.’
‘I’m glad you said that, Dad,’ James jumped in. ‘Maggie wants to carry on working, don’t you?’
Maggie was stunned and could only nod as she realised where the conversation was leading. When they had first talked about starting a family, the plan had been for Joan to help with childcare so Maggie could return to work and she had wanted to return quickly. There was no one qualified to cover her absence at the salon and she risked losing clients if she stayed away too long. She only worked two or three hours a day and her mum had been more than willing to help but those plans had been made an impossibly long time ago. Everything had changed since then and she had assumed James would have realised that. He continued:
‘So how do you feel about being a little more hands-on with your next grandchild?’
There was a sharp intake of breath from Judith and deservedly so. Judith was fifty-eight and, unlike Kathy, was already planning her retirement. She had cut back her hours as a volunteer at a charity shop and intended to give up work entirely when Ken retired from his job as an architect the following year. Taking care of a baby wasn’t part of her plan and Maggie could sympathise: the idea horrified her too. Thankfully, Judith was rescued from the need to answer by a knock at the door. Jenny had arrived.
Inviting Jenny had been a stroke of genius. Not only was she a much-needed ally but she could talk to anyone about anything and she kept the conversation flowing over the awkward pauses during dinner.
Maggie had met her when they were both fifteen. Jenny’s family had been new to Sedgefield and the arrival of a quiet, surly teenager at school had been a blessing in disguise. Maggie had been managing reasonably well in a mainstream school but once surging hormones had entered the mix, her peers had begun to develop at a faster pace and slowly but surely Maggie had become marginalised. The two girls formed an alliance that gave each of them the courage to face the world and eventually Jenny’s true personality had emerged and she hadn’t shut up since.
‘So, Maggie,’ she said. ‘When are you going to tell us all about this ghost of yours?’
‘We have a ghost?’ James asked.
‘No, we do not have a ghost,’ Maggie said through gritted teeth, regretting having said anything to Jenny about her encounter by the lake earlier that day, when she was still trying to make sense of it herself. But despite her denial, Maggie couldn’t easily dismiss the idea that Elsa belonged to the past more than the present. It was, after all, where Maggie often retreated and would it be so terrible to believe that her favourite park bench held the power to resurrect the people who had once rested upon it?
Jenny had homed in on the supernatural aspects of Maggie’s story and even though Maggie had told her very little about Elsa, and nothing at all about the secrets she had sworn to keep, her friend’s curiosity had been piqued. But Maggie wasn’t going to be drawn into the conversation at the dinner table. ‘I met another mum-to-be in the park and she was a little eccentric, that’s all. So how’s the job going, Jenny?’
Realising her mistake, Jenny didn’t object to the swift change of subject. ‘I thought I would hate going back to work but it’s so nice having conversations that don’t revolve around a baby’s sleeping, eating and toilet habits.’
‘And if there’s one thing you can count on when you visit Jenny at the bank, it’s conversation,’ offered James.
‘I like to spend time getting to know my customers, that’s all. And I’ll have you know, that kind of personal service is a dying art.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised if they made it bank policy,’ Maggie added with a mischievous smile. ‘I think all staff should be able to update customers on which celeb is sleeping with who, what’s going on in all the TV soaps, not to mention advice on the latest high street fashions.’
‘I keep you on trend, don’t I?’
‘Yes, you do,’ Maggie conceded. Jenny was her official stylist while Kathy could be relied on to keep her beauty regime up to date. When she had first met James, it was thanks to their help that she had looked more like the young woman she was and not the old spinster she thought she was destined to become.
‘And I’ll have you know that I provide a community service, advising on the opening times at the health centre or where to buy the best bargains. I’m like a living, breathing bulletin board and people choose me to serve them. And before you two come out with any more smart remarks, my manager has finally recognised my talents and has told me to apply for the assistant manager’s job that’s coming up later this year.’
James paid no heed to Jenny’s warning. ‘If anyone can talk themselves into a promotion, it’s you.’
Judith and Ken were in danger of being completely sidelined as the banter continued. Maggie had one ear to the conversation and the other to the uncomfortable silence that wrapped around her in-laws as they drank their post-dinner coffee in awkward gulps. ‘Would you like another one?’ she asked when she heard Judith replace an empty cup onto its saucer.
‘Not for me, thanks.’
‘Care for something a bit stronger, Dad?’
‘I wouldn’t say no, son.’
‘Can I get you ladies anything?’ James asked and was met with a flurry of polite refusals. ‘It’s just you and me then, Dad.’
‘I suppose that means I’m driving,’ Judith commented.
‘Thanks, love.’
‘But don’t blame me if I crash into that gate. It came off its hinges again the other day, like it does every time your dad tries to fix it.’
‘Do you want me to take a look?’ James asked.
‘Oh, we’ll manage. I might even have a go at mending it myself.’ The refusal was half-hearted and when James insisted on coming over to fix it, Judith had her way, as she knew she would.
Chairs scraped against the floor as James and Ken made their excuses and scurried off to the kitchen, followed soon after by Harvey who didn’t need an invitation to go into his favourite room in the house.
‘So,’ Jenny announced, ‘let’s talk babies.’
Jenny had realised within moments of her arrival that the announcement had been made and the news received as badly as Maggie had feared. But that hadn’t stopped her best friend from bringing babies into the conversation at every possible opportunity. There was a distinct possibility that Jenny wouldn’t let Judith leave the house until she was gushing with enthusiasm.
‘Lily is such a pretty thing,’ Judith said, referring to the myriad of photos of Jenny’s six-month-old daughter that had been thrust under her nose throughout the evening.
‘I’ll try to remember that when she’s bawling at three o’clock in the morning.’
‘I don’t think anyone appreciates how much a baby can turn your life upside down until you have one. But you’re lucky you can leave her with Mark. Ken never was one for babysitting.’
‘Babysitting?’ Jenny demanded. ‘He’s her dad and we’re equal partners. He might need reminding of that now and again but that’s the deal. Wouldn’t you say so, Maggie?’
‘We’ll see.’
‘I’m so excited that Maggie and I are going to be mums together, Judith. It wasn’t that long ago when I thought it would never happen and I think Maggie probably thought the same. I couldn’t get pregnant and she thought she’d never find Mr Right but now look at us!’
‘Yes, James was a very good catch,’ Judith said.
Jenny kept her tone light as she responded to the cutting remark that sliced through the air. ‘And Maggie’s a bit of a catch too. Just look at those high cheekbones and that gorgeous body,’ she said, turning to her friend whose high cheekbones were starting to glow with embarrassment. ‘I’d give anything for a figure like yours, even now you’re three months gone. You don’t look pregnant at all.’
‘I certainly never would have guessed,’ Judith added, her reply measured and meaningful.
Jenny wouldn’t be put off. ‘I’m hoping she has a girl so she inherits Maggie’s looks. What about you, Judith? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a granddaughter for a change?’
‘I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it.’
‘I expect it’s still a bit of a shock,’ Jenny said, a sting of accusation in her observation.
Judith sighed as if the weight of the world had been placed on her shoulders. ‘I still don’t know what they were thinking, Jenny.’
Maggie’s jaw clenched as she reeled in her emotions. There was frustrated disbelief that her mother-in-law was talking as if she wasn’t even in the room; there was anger that Judith wasn’t willing to give her a chance to prove herself as a parent; and then there was the ever-present fear for a future Maggie felt she no longer had control over.
‘Maybe they were thinking it would be nice to start a family?’
For a moment, all that Maggie could hear was the hammering of her heart then, without warning, music started blaring from beneath the table. Jenny muttered under her breath as she dug out her mobile from her bag. ‘It’ll be Mark. I can’t have one night off without some emergency or other. Sorry, Maggie, I’d better take this.’
Jenny slipped out into the hall and left the two women alone. Judith’s chair creaked softly as she was forced to turn and acknowledge her daughter-in-law’s presence again. ‘Have you seriously thought this through, Maggie?’ she asked. ‘How are you going to manage? We could help but we’re not getting any younger.’
Maggie would have been amused at the forced frailty in Judith’s voice if she hadn’t been quietly fuming. ‘I agree. I don’t know what James was thinking by asking you. I do want to go back to work but I can use the same nursery as Jenny. You really don’t have to worry on that count.’
‘But I do worry. How will you be able to afford it, especially if James is forced to cut back his hours too? It’s bound to affect his ability to provide for his family – and by that I mean the boys. I know it sounds harsh but I don’t see how this is going to work. I just don’t see it.’
‘And I thought I was the blind one,’ Maggie said. ‘My mum brought me up to believe that there’s nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it. OK, so maybe I can’t drive a car and never will but I can still get myself from A to B.’
‘I agree. There are things you do that genuinely amaze me. The meal you made, the way you explained how you helped James decorate this room—’ Judith began.
‘Then give me a chance. These aren’t tricks I’m performing; this is the way I live my life.’
High heels tapped across wood as Jenny made her return. ‘Lily’s teething and Mark can’t settle her. Not surprising really given that he’s not home enough these days for her to recognise him. I’m so, so sorry, Maggie, but I have to go. I’ll say goodbye to the boys and send them back in to you,’ she said.
There were anxious hugs and a promise from Maggie to make up some teething gel once she was back in the salon on Monday and then Jenny was gone.
Judith sighed and, hearing James and Ken coming back down the hallway, couldn’t resist one parting shot. ‘If Jenny finds it hard going, how will you cope?’
It was the first statement from her mother-in-law that Maggie couldn’t argue against and in a desperate attempt to hold on to her crumbling confidence, she tried to recall the steady rhythm of her baby’s heartbeat. But it was the sound of waves slapping against the edge of the lake that filled her mind and she felt herself drowning in self-doubt.
5 (#ulink_ad22bbe9-5371-5bd3-8938-9e5c7e1be7cd)
On Monday morning, between her steady stream of clients, Maggie caught up with other chores. Occasionally she picked up the telephone but didn’t dial. She wanted to phone her dad and at least capture some of the joy being denied her, but now was not the time to tell him she was pregnant. Stan had struggled through the first year without his wife but by all accounts he was slowly adapting to his new way of life in Spain. If Maggie was ever going to convince him that she could manage without him then she would have to at least sound stronger than she felt right now.
Maggie inhaled the scent of clove bud as she prepared a gentle ointment to ease Lily’s teething pain. The essential oil’s stimulating properties weren’t enough to give her the courage she needed to step out of her treatment room but she left anyway.
‘You’ve had a busy morning,’ Kathy remarked. ‘I was starting to think you were avoiding me.’
Kathy had a perceptive eye that was an equal match for Maggie’s ability to read a person’s face by the tone of their voice. They each had their own ways of recognising a lie when they heard it so Maggie didn’t try. ‘I know she’s your friend, Kath, but—’
‘It’s all right, I know. I’ve spoken to Judith and she’s worked herself up into a right state. And I’m afraid I haven’t helped.’ Kathy sighed. ‘I let slip that I’d known for a while about the baby.’
‘Surely she can’t be surprised that I didn’t want to tell her? Her reaction was always going to be awful.’
‘And was it?’
This was exactly the line of questioning Maggie had wanted to avoid. So far she’d kept Judith’s most cutting remarks to herself, not wanting to put James in an awkward position, and it was the same with Kathy. ‘Why are you two such good friends again?’ she asked now.
‘Having an old grouch around makes me feel younger.’
Maggie returned the smile she had heard in Kathy’s voice. ‘And I always thought it was owning a beauty parlour that guaranteed you eternal youth,’ she said, although Kathy had a point. The two might be the same age but that was where the similarities ended. Whereas Judith was already changing down a gear, Kathy had no intention of growing old gracefully. Her hair was cut in a modern style, short and spiky to accentuate her fine bone structure and she described the colour as platinum blonde although it felt coarse enough to be completely grey without the helping hand of peroxide. As a regular to Maggie’s massage table, Maggie knew that Kathy hadn’t completely avoided the signs of aging, but although there were the odd wrinkles here and there, her skin was smooth and retained enough elasticity to keep her looks as youthful as her outlook.
‘Please don’t go losing sleep over Judith. She’s only panicking because she wants what’s best for James. And you,’ Kathy added but not quickly enough.
Maggie shrugged. ‘You were right first time. Sorry, Kath, but I have to go. I promised to meet Jenny at the bank,’ she said and made her escape before her resolve to keep quiet weakened even further.
Slipping on her sunglasses to block out the muted sunshine trickling across her vision, Maggie and Harvey headed in the direction of the bank, but no sooner had they set off than they came to a sudden halt.
‘Hi, I’m here,’ Jenny announced. She sounded out of breath as if she had been running. ‘The nursery phoned and they’re desperate for this miracle cure you promised me.’
‘How is Lily?’ Maggie asked as she handed it over. They turned together and continued along the route to the nursery, which was the same direction as the park where Maggie was heading next.
‘Red-faced and grumpy.’
‘And you?’
‘The same,’ Jenny quipped.
