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A hangover, she supposed. All that wine last night…
She closed her eyes again. That only brought the memory more vividly to her mind, and she groaned. She and Marcus, of all people, locked in a passionate kiss. What had possessed her? And now she was going to have to face him. She could hear him moving about already, the bathroom door closing, his footsteps in the passageway.
No use cowering in bed, he would probably come and rout her out of it, anyway. Reluctantly she threw back the covers and got up.
By the time she’d showered and dressed, the aroma of frying bacon was wafting through the dining area. Trying to look casual and unembarrassed, she went to the kitchen where Marcus was standing at the stove, breaking eggs into a pan. “That smells good.”
He turned and smiled at her. “Good morning. I heard the shower and figured you’d soon be ready for breakfast.”
“Can I help?”
“Make toast if you like. The bread’s over there.”
It wasn’t until they’d finished eating and she’d had her second cup of coffee that she gathered the courage to say, “About last night…I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For being so…stupid. I’d had too much to drink or I wouldn’t have…”
“Kissed me?” His lips curved. “I wondered if you’d remember. You needn’t apologize, Jenna. It may have escaped your notice, but I enjoyed it.” He paused. “I thought you did too.” His eyes held a question.
Heat burned her cheeks. “I would never normally have—I didn’t mean to—”
“No need to explain.” He stood up abruptly. “Want to help me get these dishes out of the way?”
Later he took her back to her flat.
“I’ll try to get it looking a bit less like a disaster area before Katie arrives home,” she said. “It will give me something to do.”
“She won’t be here for a while. I told her there was no point while the carpet’s still drying.”
“That’s okay. I can do with some time alone.”
He gave her a sharp look but didn’t argue. “Let me know if you need anything,” he said. “I’ll be home. And if your place is still in a mess, you and Katie can both sleep at mine tonight.”
After he’d left her she picked her way around, flattened some of the carpet that had dried, moved the machines to where they’d do the most good, and cleared paths through piled furniture to beds and the kitchen.
Remembering the orderliness of Marcus’s apartment, she was spurred into an orgy of tidying and cleaning. So when Katie arrived she was on her knees, head and hands deep in a kitchen cupboard while she wiped down the shelf from which she’d removed all the pots and pans.
It wasn’t until she emerged and sat back on her heels, wiping a strand of hair from her eyes, that she realized Katie wasn’t alone.
Dean grinned down at her. “What are you doing?”
“What do you think I’m doing?” she asked crossly. Yesterday she’d dressed carefully, if casually, and put on makeup, and he’d hardly glanced at her. Now she was a total mess and he was looking her over as if he’d never seen her before. “Where’s Callie?” she asked him.
“Jet lag caught up with her and she couldn’t stay awake. Marcus said you’d had a flood here, so I thought you girls might need some help.”
He didn’t look jet-lagged. He looked wide-awake and heartbreakingly handsome, and she wished he were anywhere but here. “There isn’t much we can do,” she said, “until the cleaning firm has been in again and fixed the carpets back in place, once they’re dry.”
“You look busy.”
“I just had this urge…I’ll be finished here in a few minutes.”
She hoped they’d go away, but instead the two of them stood about the kitchen talking, and helpfully handed her things to put back in the cupboard.
Afterward they all sat drinking coffee, and it was almost like old times until Dean pushed back his chair, saying, “I’d better get back. Callie should have woken by now.” Apparently he couldn’t bear to think of her spending any waking moment without him.
When he’d left, Katie gave Jenna a searching look. “Are you really okay?”
“Tired, after spending half the night getting rid of the flood, but otherwise I’m fine.” Without pausing for breath, Jenna asked, “How did you get on with Callie?”
“You can’t help liking her…”
“That’s good,” Jenna said enthusiastically. “It’s important that you two get along. Not that Dean would have picked a girl you wouldn’t like.”
Katie hesitated, then refrained from pursuing the subject. “I’m sorry you got stuck with the cleanup here. I would have caught the first bus back, but Marcus said there was nothing I could do that the two of you hadn’t done already.”
“He was right, there was no need for it. Marcus was great.”
“He’s good in a crisis, our big brother. And I suppose he thinks of you as another little sister.”
“I suppose,” Jenna agreed, but the memory of last night’s kiss surfaced with sudden clarity, and unexpectedly she felt her cheeks flush.
Katie noticed. Her eyes widened. “Jenna…? You and Marcus aren’t…? When he said you were staying the night I didn’t think he meant—”
“Of course not!” Jenna denied quickly. “He gave me his spare bed, that’s all. He said we could both stay tonight, by the way.”
Katie regarded her fixedly for a moment longer, then shook her head slightly as though dismissing the thought as fantastic, and looked about them. “Mmm. It’s still a bit of a mess, isn’t it? Just as well you did leave early yesterday.”
“Yes, the water would have done a lot more damage before anyone noticed it. The upstairs neighbors were away for the weekend.”
As if on cue there was a knock at the door, and Jenna hurried to open it, revealing embarrassed neighbors bearing apologies and a placatory gift of wine. She made sure that Katie had no more opportunity to question her about the night she’d spent at Marcus’s apartment.
A couple of weeks later Mr. and Mrs. Crossan held an engagement party for Dean and Callie. Katie arranged to spend the weekend at her parents’ place helping with the preparations. Casting about for an excuse not to join her, Jenna said the house would be full and anyway she had some work to get through. But of course she’d be at the party. Marcus had offered a lift.
She did sometimes bring work home from her job copy-editing documents for university staff members. It was a plausible excuse, and she made sure that Katie saw her working over a pile of papers on Friday before Dean came in his parents’ car to pick up his sister.
That week Jenna had bought a new dress and spent a very expensive session with a hairdresser, who put some subtle highlights in and gave her a new, short and sassy style.
When she met Marcus at her door on Saturday night, he looked over the low-necked bright pink dress and high-heeled shoes and said, “If you want to show Dean what he’s missing, that’ll do it.”
“It’s a party,” Jenna said defensively. Marcus looked terrific, she thought with mild surprise. She’d never taken much notice of what he wore, but he presented a picture of casual male elegance in a natural linen shirt, darker trousers and a light jacket.
On the journey they hardly spoke. Marcus seemed preoccupied, and Jenna was tense. On their arrival he opened the car door for her and briefly took her arm. “I’ll take you home whenever you’ve had enough.”
“I’ll be fine,” Jenna said, tilting her head and straightening her shoulders.
She felt an inevitable pang when Dean greeted her with a hug and a kiss on her cheek, but kept the smile on her face as she turned to Callie and handed her the gift-wrapped parcel containing a carefully chosen set of crystal wineglasses.
Callie looked radiant and Dean more handsome than ever. Jenna was glad that Marcus soon guided her away from them to get drinks. He handed her the gin and lemon she asked for, murmuring, “You’d better have something to eat too. There are nuts and dips over here.” He guided her to the table.
“Don’t worry.” Jenna took a taco chip and dipped it in guacamole. “I won’t get drunk and molest you again,” she said before nibbling at the chip.
Marcus lifted a brow. “You disappoint me, Jenna. I was looking forward to it.”
Her eyes widened. Was Marcus flirting with her?
His teasing smile said he was. Then he gave a soft laugh. “I told you I enjoyed that kiss. Is it too much to hope for a repeat performance?”
Flustered, Jenna stammered, “Yes…I mean, you know I was…I wasn’t myself that night. Katie says you’re like a big brother to me.”
“Katie says a lot of very silly things,” Marcus pronounced. He watched her take another nibble at the chip and lick at a little guacamole that had escaped. “I think I should make it clear,” he said, “that I don’t regard you as a sister.”
Disconcerted, for a brief moment she felt hurt, then she saw his eyes momentarily shift and realized that Dean was watching them. Marcus looked back at her and inclined his head close to her ear. “If you want a smokescreen, I’m available.”
Light dawned. He was pretending to be attracted by her so that Dean and anyone else with an inkling of her real feelings for him needn’t think she was a discarded wallflower.
Her pride rebelled. “You don’t need to do this, Marcus. Like I told you, I’m a grown-up.”
“I’d have said you had a bad case of arrested development, myself.”
Her eyes widening at his slightly waspish tone, she said, “What?”
“You’ve been in a state of suspended animation ever since Dean went to the States. When are you going to wake up and smell the flowers?”
“I haven’t sat at home pining,” she protested, stung by his portrayal of her languishing for love. “I’ve got an interesting job and plenty of friends—I’ve even dated a bit.”
“You haven’t had a serious relationship, have you?”
Astounded, Jenna snapped, “That’s none of your business!”
Marcus laughed aloud, the sound deep and full-throated. It transformed his face, relaxing the seemingly harsh planes of nose and cheekbones and bringing a warmer look to his eyes. She saw Dean turn again and regard his brother curiously.
“I don’t see what’s funny,” she hissed at Marcus.
The effort he made to control the curve of his mouth belied any implicit apology. “You just reminded me so much of the way you used to be as a kid.”
“Short-tempered?” she asked suspiciously.
Marcus shook his head. “You were such a little thing, but stubborn as a baby donkey. Loyal to a fault and aggressive in defense. No one could put you down. And woe betide anyone who attacked one of the twins.”
“A little monster.”
“Not at all. The loyalty may have been misguided quite often, but it’s an admirable trait, if irritating at times. And the aggression mellowed as you grew older.”
“I was pretty insecure when we arrived next door. I guess I was overcompensating.”
After her father’s death, her mother’s world had crumbled and she could hardly rouse herself to care for a bewildered and frightened six-year-old. Jenna’s father had been a farm worker trying to save money for his own herd when the tractor he was driving rolled down a hillside and killed him.
They’d had to move out to make room for her father’s replacement, and her mother had taken another cottage offered by a neighboring couple at a low rent for six months. “Until you decide what you’re going to do,” the wife said.
They didn’t realize that Karen, sunk in grief, was incapable of making decisions.
Jenna remembered the day she’d taken charge of her own life. Karen was standing with a butter knife in her hand, halfway through making Jenna’s school lunch, but had apparently forgotten what she was doing.
“The school bus will be here soon,” Jenna had told her impatiently. She’d had to go into Karen’s room that morning and wake her to get breakfast. “Mummy?”
Her mother seemed deaf. Jenna realized she was silently crying, tears dripping down her cheeks, oblivious to everything except her own pain.
It was the loneliest moment of Jenna’s short life. Lonelier than when she’d watched her father’s coffin lowered into the ground and dimly, frighteningly, known she would never see him again.
She took the knife gently in her small, capable fingers and said, “It’s all right, Mummy. I can do it myself.”
From then on she’d got her own breakfast and lunch, whether Karen was up or not, and caught the school bus on time every day.
After the six months were up, they moved to a dispirited little town that had once had a dairy factory and was now struggling to keep any population because the factory had closed and there was no work. But rent was cheap.
There was a new school too and Jenna, starting in the middle of a term, was an outsider. She suffered loneliness and some mild bullying, learned to stand up for herself and in time made a few friends.
She patiently reminded her mother when it was time to do the washing or cook dinner, or if they needed more groceries. For two years she looked after her mother as much as her mother looked after her.
Then one day Karen looked about at where they were living as if she’d never seen it before and said, “We’re moving out of here.”
They’d shifted to a pleasant dormitory village where half the population commuted to Auckland every day. Where people grew roses and hibiscus and mowed the lawns every week. Mrs. Crossan welcomed them from over the fence and invited Jenna for a swim and to play with the twins.
She thought she’d loved them both from that very first day.
Chapter Four
“What’s the dreamy little smile about?” Marcus’s voice intruded on the memory.
“I was remembering when I met Dean and Katie.” Marcus must have been there in the background too, she supposed. But she’d naturally been more interested in the twins, who were her own age.
“That accounts for it,” Marcus said dryly.
She recalled only a day full of sunshine and childish laughter, playing tag across the green grass and climbing into the wide, cradling branches of the old puriri, swinging thrillingly back to earth by way of the sturdy rope that hung from it. And her mother looking almost relaxed, acting like the mother she had been two years ago, smiling as she spoke with Mrs. Crossan and watched the children splash about in the pool.
Marcus’s voice interrupted again. “Losing a youthful dream isn’t the end of the world. One day you’ll find it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“Is that how it was with you?”
When he didn’t answer, frowning as though at a loss to know what she meant, she reminded him, “You told Katie your childhood sweetheart married someone else.”
“Oh, that.” He looked slightly rueful. “It just shows, you see. I’d completely forgotten.”
“I think you made it up,” she accused.
“Not at all. When I was eleven I was madly in love with a girl in my class. A plump child with apple cheeks, and braces on her teeth. I thought they were incredibly sexy.”
