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What? her mind asked frantically. What did Dean say about me? Did he tell you I’ve been stupidly in love with him since we were children? That I thought he would come back and marry me? That next to Katie and his mother I thought I was the person he was closest to in all the world?
“Katie’s best friend,” Callie said, “and roommate—except here you call it a flatmate.” She screwed up her nose and laughed. “Isn’t that right?”
“Yes.” Jenna couldn’t say any more. She wanted to scream, cry—run. Pride kept her upright, smiling.
Callie looked at Marcus. “And you’re Marcus,” she said. “The big brother.” She gave him a frank, open look, her eyes wide and candid, and the smile turned from friendly to appreciative. “He’s told me all about his family.”
“And yet he hasn’t told us a thing about you,” Marcus said.
Callie laughed again. “He wanted to surprise you.”
“You are certainly a surprise.” Marcus paused. “A welcome one, of course. I hope you’ll enjoy New Zealand.”
“I’m looking forward to it, and to getting to know you all. Oh—and Jenna too.”
The afterthought was kindly meant, Jenna knew, but it made her conscious that she wasn’t really family, she didn’t belong.
Jane’s children had commandeered the baggage cart, and one of the bags slipped. While Callie helped to reorganize the luggage, Jenna blindly turned away, following an instinct to flee.
Marcus was in her way. His fingers circled her arm again for a second. “Just stay here.” His voice held a note of command.
She stood there while he exchanged a few quick words with his parents and Katie, who threw her friend another worried glance.
Then Marcus was back at her side, his hand on her elbow. “Come on.”
She didn’t ask where they were going, so relieved that he was taking her away from this nightmare that she didn’t care. “Katie…?” she said feebly as he whisked her across the polished floor.
“There’s room for her in Mum and Dad’s car, and she won’t want to be separated from Dean. That’s something Callie will have to get used to—how close the twins are.”
And of course with Callie sharing the back seat, there’d be no room for Jenna.
Dean’s parents expected him to stay at their home, just half an hour out of Auckland, until he’d settled. They hadn’t been expecting him to bring a fiancée, but there’d be no problem putting up an extra person in the big house where they’d brought up their family—the house Jenna had known almost as well as she knew the much smaller home she’d shared with her mother next door.
In the parking area the cool air chilled her, although the gray morning sky was turning to blue, with high white clouds drifting across it.
Marcus guided her to his sleek maroon car and opened the door for her. He didn’t speak again until they were on their way out of the airport complex, driving between green fields gradually being overtaken by new buildings.
Then he said, “I told the family I’d join them later. Have you had breakfast?”
“Breakfast?” Jenna repeated vaguely.
“Something to eat. What most people have in the morning.”
“No.” She and Katie had been too rushed and too excited to eat breakfast at that early hour. She didn’t see what relevance it had.
“Neither have I,” Marcus said. “We’ll stop on the way.”
Jenna didn’t argue, although she had never felt less hungry. Like his younger siblings, she’d developed a habit of listening to Marcus.
When they reached the outskirts of the city he found a restaurant and ordered juice, toast and pancakes for two, and made Jenna drink hot, strong coffee. With sugar.
“That’s better,” he said, after she had eaten two slices of toast and pushed the empty coffee cup away. “You’re beginning to look human again.”
“I’m never at my best in the morning,” she said.
Marcus gave her a thoughtful look. “I’m sorry, Jenna.”
She gazed down at the white ceramic salt cellar on the table—shiny and smooth. “Thanks,” she said, “for breakfast.” And for rescuing me. Stopping me from making a complete fool of myself. “I’ll pay my share.”
“Don’t be silly.” A lean hand caught hers as she made to open her purse. “I’m paying.” He removed his warm, strong fingers from hers and took out his wallet.
In the car she said, “Maybe I should just go home.”
Katie had taken it for granted that Jenna would spend the weekend with the Crossans. It was lucky, she’d said, that her twin had chosen to fly in on a Saturday. They needn’t take time off from work.
Jenna had thought it lucky too. Now she wished she could plead pressure of work, an emergency, any excuse not to be there.
His hand on the ignition key, Marcus turned a searching look on her.
“An engagement is a family affair,” Jenna suggested, her voice strained. “And I’m not family.”
Gently he said, “It smacks a bit of sour grapes, you know. Do you want to make us all feel guilty?”
“No! We—you’ve all been looking forward so much to having Dean home again. I want everyone to be happy for him and…and Callie.”
“Very noble.” His tone was extremely dry. “I suspect you’d like to slap him silly, really. I know I would. I felt like thumping him at the airport.”
Jenna blinked up at him, surprised that Marcus should feel so strongly on her behalf. “I don’t suppose I’d be missed,” she said.
He made a small, scornful noise in his throat. “You know better than that. Of course you’d be missed.” He paused. “If it’s what you want, I’ll take you back to the flat and tell the family you’re not well.” But he sounded reluctant.
They’d guess that the only thing she was nursing was a broken heart…wouldn’t they? And if Katie did believe in a sudden sickness, concern about Jenna being ill and alone would spoil her delight in her brother’s return.
She chewed her lower lip, undecided. “I suppose your whole family is sorry for me.”
“Katie might be. I guess you’ve told her how you feel?”
After a moment Jenna shook her head. “Not really. I mean…not in so many words.” She’d assumed that Katie knew—but then she’d assumed Dean felt the same. And she’d been totally, unbelievably wrong. “I thought everyone knew.” She lifted her eyes to his almost accusingly. “You did.”
His mouth moved in a slight smile. “I don’t think my parents have recognized yet that you and the twins are actually grown up. They’ve never taken your adoration of Dean seriously. And Jane has been pretty much occupied with her own family for the past few years. I take it you haven’t been exchanging love letters with my little brother?”
She’d always signed her regular letters with “Love, Jenna.” And Dean had sent his love in return when he wrote, but his much-less-frequent letters were addressed to both Jenna and his twin, and when he phoned the flat, whichever of the girls answered the phone called out to the other, and they’d eagerly swapped the receiver between them and passed messages until Dean had to hang up.
Jenna had never minded sharing. She’d been grateful that Katie didn’t either. Twins, even nonidentical ones, enjoyed a special bond. She understood that. Did Callie? She said, “Not love letters, exactly.”
She and Dean had known each other so long there was no need to express their feelings in extravagant words. They would have felt silly doing it.
“Dean isn’t cruel,” Marcus said consideringly. “But he’s not always terribly bright about people’s feelings. Probably he just never noticed. The consequence of growing up together. He didn’t see what was right under his nose practically all his life.”
If Marcus was right, staying away today would only fuel any suspicion that might enter anyone’s head—including Dean’s. Or Callie’s. Somehow that would be worse than anything.
His voice became brisk. “How are your acting skills? You used to be pretty good as a kid. Especially if it was a question of saving young Dean’s bacon.”
But Marcus, she recalled, had always seen through her subterfuges on Dean’s behalf. As he’d seen through her today and stepped in to avert what might have been a dampener on the family reunion, an embarrassment to everyone.
When she remained silent, he added, “It’s entirely your choice, but if you come along I promise I’ll make it as bearable as I can—and we’ll leave early.”
Jenna took a deep breath. “I’ll come.”
She couldn’t read the look he gave her. His mouth was very firm, his eyes dark and probing. Then he put out a hand to squeeze hers before starting the car.
It was just as bad as she had imagined.
Marcus parked in the asphalt area in front of the sprawling old house with its gabled windows, the walls and decorative trims freshly painted in honor of Dean’s return. Brushing past scented lavender and frilled pinks in pots at the side of the steps, they went in the big front door that was expectantly open and through the wide hallway.
The adults were sitting around in the family room with cups of tea and coffee, while the children darted between the chairs and chased one another in and out of the French windows opening onto the tree-fringed lawn and the fenced pool.
Marcus explained their delayed arrival by saying he’d needed something to eat after being dragged out of bed at some ungodly hour at his younger sister’s insistence and then stuck at the airport for nearly an hour.
“You could have eaten here,” his mother chided.
“I was too hungry to wait.” He smiled at her. “And going without breakfast didn’t do Jenna any good, either.”
Mrs. Crossan gave her a sympathetic look. “You are a wee bit pale.” She dropped her voice and murmured anxiously, “You’re not upset about Dean’s engagement, are you, dear?”
“I think it’s wonderful,” Jenna lied valiantly. “Callie’s beautiful, isn’t she? And Dean looks so happy.”
“Well, yes.” Mrs. Crossan’s eyes turned to the couple, and Jenna saw the smile she couldn’t help. “They are very happy.”
Dean and Callie had freshened up, and Callie looked even more gorgeous than she had at the airport. Dean hardly took his eyes off her for long enough to wave to his brother and throw a careless “Hi, again!” at Jenna.
She should be glad he didn’t look at her too closely, but instead she felt a jealousy so strong and painful she had to bunch a fist at her midriff to stop it hurting so much.
Marcus’s fingers closed over hers and pried them apart. “Is there coffee on?” he asked no one in particular. “Let’s get some, Jenna.” He hauled her with him into the big, sun-filled kitchen.
“We just had coffee,” she said as he dropped her hand and went to the machine in a corner of the counter.
“Have some more. Or can I get you something stronger?”
Jenna shook her head. She needed her wits about her. “No.”
He pulled two mugs from hooks under the cupboards and filled them, stirring some sugar into hers. “Here.”
Katie came in, a pile of cups and saucers in her hands. “Are you all right, Jen?”
Trying not to sound too hearty, Jenna injected a faint note of surprise into her reply. “I’m fine. Are you pleased to have your brother home? Don’t answer that. Silly question.”
Katie grinned, obviously unable to suppress it. “I never realized how much I missed him.” The grin fading abruptly, she added, placing the cups on the counter, “Callie’s a bit of a bolt from the blue, though.” Her eyes worried, she asked, “He…he hadn’t said anything about her to you, had he?”
“Not a thing.” Jenna made her voice cheerful. “If he’d told anyone it would have been you.”
Marcus interjected, “A whirlwind romance? If even you didn’t know anything, Katie…”
“He did mention her a couple of times, but I never twigged she was anyone special, and he hadn’t said anything about her recently. He says he was scared she’d turn him down, and he didn’t want to come home and have us all know he was nursing a broken heart. She only agreed to come to New Zealand with him a couple of weeks ago, and he decided to keep it secret until they got here, so he could see our faces when he gave us the news.”
Thank heaven he hadn’t seen hers, Jenna thought. She curled her hand around her hot coffee mug, ignoring the discomfort.
Katie added thoughtfully, “And I have a suspicion he was afraid she might change her mind before he got her on the plane.”
Jenna forced a smile. “Well, it’s a nice surprise, isn’t it?”
Dubiously, Katie agreed, “I suppose so. Are you sure you’re okay with it, Jen?”
Hoping she looked bewildered and innocent, Jenna said, “Of course. Dean’s very happy. And I’m happy for him. Aren’t you?”
Hesitantly, Katie said, “I thought it would be you and him. Even when we were kids you said you were going to marry each other.”
Jenna’s laugh should have earned her an Oscar. “We were—what?—eight years old? Come on, Katie!”
“Sometimes when we were older it kind of looked like you were more than friends.”
Jenna had thought so. They’d exchanged kisses from time to time. She’d imagined that, like her, Dean was keeping their relationship on the level of a warm, intimate friendship while they both worked hard at their degrees and were too young and impecunious for marriage.
After they’d graduated, the scholarship had come up for him to study in America. He’d asked Jenna’s opinion, stressing how long he’d be away from home, and she’d somehow concealed her panic and dismay and said of course he must take it, a chance like that wasn’t to be missed.
The kiss he gave her then was definitely not a brotherly one, and she’d seen it as a promise, a pledge, an unspoken commitment to a shared, if deferred, future.
She’d held on to that memory for four years. And now she wondered if Dean even remembered it. Certainly it had held none of the significance for him that it had for her.
Painfully putting her newfound insight into words, Jenna said, “We grew out of it. If there’d been anything serious, Dean wouldn’t have left me to go to the other side of the world for years. Would he?”
Marcus added, “Wishful thinking, Katie. Very nice for you, to match your twin and your best friend, but in real life our childhood sweethearts grow up and marry other people.”
“Did yours?” Katie asked, temporarily diverted.
“Of course,” Marcus answered. “And I didn’t lose a moment’s sleep over it.”
Katie switched her attention back to Jenna. “Have I been daydreaming?”
“I won’t lose a moment’s sleep,” Jenna echoed Marcus, trying to sound as convincing.
Either Marcus had sown the seed of doubt, or Katie decided to take her cue from Jenna’s denial. “Well, that’s a relief,” she said. For a long second her eyes rested thoughtfully on her friend, before she began stacking cups and saucers in the dishwasher.
Jenna and Marcus finished their coffee, and all three of them rejoined the others. Neighbors dropped in to say hello, and a cousin phoned inquiring after the traveler. Dean invited her and her parents and boyfriend to come over.
A party atmosphere developed. Some of the guests sat out on the tiled patio, and children were allowed to jump in the swimming pool in its fenced enclosure at the back of the house. Jenna talked and laughed and even conducted a conversation with Callie and Dean, finding that Callie was exactly what she looked like, a golden California girl. She’d been studying at the same university as Dean, although they had met only a few months ago.
“And when he opened his mouth and I heard that cute accent,” Callie confessed, her hand caressing Dean’s arm, “it was love at first sound.”
