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“I heard him say he’d call you,” Erica pointed out.
“Yes, about the Substitute Siblings organization,” Aimee retorted, a little irritated with her friend. “He was talking about it when the meeting started. If I want to get involved in community service, it sounds like a worthwhile way to spend my time.”
“That’s true—they do tons of good projects. I know you think I’m butting in,” Erica apologized, “but I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to get hurt through anybody I bring into your life.”
“I won’t get hurt! I’m content with my life as it is right now. At least, I was until Samantha surprised me with her attitude today.” Aimee opened the car door. “Thanks for asking me to go. I had a good time.”
Aimee got out of the car, and Erica waited until she stepped up on the back porch and went into the kitchen before she drove away. Aimee locked the door behind her just as the phone rang.
“Hey, Mom,” Samantha’s voice answered her hello.
“Hey, yourself. Is anything wrong?”
“No, I was checking to see if you were home.”
Although slightly irritated, Aimee laughed. “I’m home, Samantha. You didn’t need to worry about your old mom.”
“Well, I was just wondering,” Samantha said sullenly.
“I’m home and going to bed, which I hope you’re doing soon, too.”
“Goodbye, Mom,” Samantha said.
“Goodbye, honey.” But Samantha had already hung up.
Aimee walked down the hall to her bedroom to change out of her new clothes and into pajamas. She sat down in the rocking chair beside the bed and picked up the picture of Steve that stood on the nightstand. How many times since his death had she looked at his picture wishing he was still with her? Usually just looking at his face, so much like Samantha’s, brought her peace. But not tonight. Tonight, she felt that something, something more than the loss of Steve was missing in her life, and she wondered what the future held.
Restless, Aimee went into the family room and sat in a lounge chair, feet elevated, staring into the darkness. She thought once again about how unfair the aneurysm was that had caused her husband’s sudden death. One morning he had gotten up full of life and love, twelve hours later he was gone, leaving her with regrets that she couldn’t overcome—regrets she had tried to put behind her for fifteen years.
She had only been nineteen when she and Steve had married, and a year later she’d given birth to Samantha. She hadn’t had an easy pregnancy. There were months of morning sickness that even nausea pills didn’t help, and during that time she dreaded the intimacies of marriage. Perhaps Steve had sensed this, for he hadn’t made any demands on her.
And Samantha’s birth was an ordeal, too. Aimee was in the delivery room for over twelve hours, and the birth resulted in a small tear that an incompetent doctor didn’t take care of properly. She was so miserable that she didn’t share Steve’s bed when she came home, and when he died suddenly, she was devastated that she’d concentrated on her own needs rather than his.
Her remorse over how she’d failed Steve only added to the sorrow she felt after his death. Aimee had never admitted her guilty feelings to anyone, but they had certainly kept her from considering a relationship with any other man. Now, more than a decade of regret seemed like enough. Remembering how easy it was for her to talk with Jacob tonight, she wondered if it was time to put the past behind her and start a new life.
Aimee yawned widely and went back to her bedroom. She got into bed, turned out the light and snuggled under the blankets. Her body was weary, but her mind was wide awake. Where could she go for the guidance she so desperately needed—for Samantha and for herself?
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to him.
Aimee bolted upright in bed, wondering why those words had come to her now. Why had she remembered that particular phrase? Convinced that the words were in the Bible, Aimee turned on the light again. It had been a few years since she had seriously considered her relationship with God, although there had been a time when the church was an important part of her life.
She went to the walk-in closet in the hallway and stepped up on a stool. A Bible was at the bottom of a large stack of Samantha’s schoolbooks. Being careful not to topple the whole heap, Aimee pulled the Bible free. It was Steve’s Bible, and she was sure she could find what she wanted in it.
Carrying the Bible, she returned to bed. After a half hour of searching, she found the verse she’d remembered in the Book of James.
As she turned the pages of the Bible, she felt Steve’s presence more keenly than she had for years. To her surprise, she also sensed the presence of God. Tears slid down Aimee’s cheeks as she remembered when the Word of God had been an important part of her life—when she never started a day without reading the Word. She had gradually drifted away from her faith.
God, it’s been so long since I’ve talked to You, I hardly know what to say. For starters, I suppose I should ask forgiveness for the way I’ve neglected You for years. I understand now that serving You should have been primary in my life. I should have encouraged Samantha to follow You, instead of putting school and activities before everything else. Starting tomorrow, with Your help, I’m going to change that.
When she laid the Bible on the nightstand, Aimee was relaxed enough to go to sleep. As she again settled into bed and turned off the light, she knew it wouldn’t be easy to live up to her new resolve in the light of day. But she was going to try.
By the time Aimee woke up, she had settled on her plan of action. Knowing that her relationship with Samantha hadn’t deteriorated overnight and that it would take time to heal, she would go slow, but she also needed to be firm. The stakes were too high to make more mistakes.
As she dressed for the day, she remembered Jacob Mallory. Would he be a complication in the new beginning she contemplated?
Chapter Three
Aimee turned off the vacuum when she heard the door slam. Samantha plodded into the family room through the front door, dragging the bag that held her stuff. She was still in pajamas. Some of her hair was in the ponytail holder, the other half hung loose around her shoulders. Her half-closed eyes were a pretty good indication that the girls stayed up all night.
“Hi, honey,” Aimee said. “How was the sleepover?”
As she slouched toward the steps that went to her downstairs room, Samantha mumbled something Aimee didn’t understand. Aimee let it go and moved the vacuum into her bedroom, when Samantha yelled from downstairs, “Mom!”
Aimee went to the head of the open stairway, “Yes?”
“I’m trying to sleep,” Samantha said. “Pu-leeze! Vacuum some other time.”
“I always vacuum on Saturday morning,” Aimee replied. “I’ll be through in a half hour.”
Aimee finished vacuuming and started dusting. Usually, she crept around the house so she wouldn’t wake Samantha, but she made no effort to keep quiet today.
The telephone rang and Samantha didn’t pick up her extension, so Aimee answered.
“Hi,” Erica said, “just checking to see how you’re doing this morning.”
“Okay, I guess. Samantha is still in bed. I don’t suppose she slept at all last night. It’s time to have a talk with her, and I want her wide awake when that happens so I’m letting her sleep in. But I’m glad you called. What time is worship at your church tomorrow?”
“There’s an eight-thirty service and one at ten-thirty. I go to the later one. Do you want to come with me?” Erica said quickly, obviously pleased. She had asked Aimee to go to church so often that she’d given up.
“I am going tomorrow, but I’ll drive. I intend to give Samantha the option of coming with me, but I’m not expecting her to. Would you mind waiting for me at the church door, so I won’t have to sit alone?”
“I’ll watch for you in the foyer,” Erica said. “Good luck with your mother-daughter talk.”
“Thanks, I’ll need it.”
Jacob dressed in his running shoes and a pair of sweats, drew on a lightweight windbreaker and let himself out of the apartment he rented in his grandmother’s Victorian home. He turned on the MP3 player at his waist and got ready for his three-mile jog before church.
As he ran this morning, however, the inspirational music he was listening to was just background sound for his thoughts of Aimee Blake. His strong attraction to her surprised him. At times, Jacob wished that he had a steady girlfriend, but past experience had left him with a slew of emotional scars. He had dated Megan Russell all during high school. He’d loved her and thought she loved him, but she’d betrayed him with another man in their senior year. And she wouldn’t even tell him who the other man was. The pain ran so deep that he couldn’t forget it, and he didn’t want to get involved again. He dated occasionally but always avoided becoming serious about anyone.
He wasn’t sure that would be true with Aimee. Already, he was looking forward to speaking to her on the phone and seeing her again. He definitely didn’t want a serious relationship, so why was he thinking about her? If, after two brief meetings, he was eager to see Aimee, maybe it would be better to avoid her completely.
Jacob ran vigorously and, in spite of the mid-thirties’ cold, his body was steaming when he came back in sight of the house. He slowed his pace to a slow walk as he reached the front lawn.
A pert robin hopped around the grass, looking for breakfast in the ground. Jacob smiled when he saw a few dandelions beaming their yellow presence in the frosty grass. Although many people disliked dandelions in their lawns, they were such hardy plants that they encouraged him to keep going when the way was difficult.
Before he went to his apartment over the garage, Jacob stepped inside the house to check on his grandmother. Looking at her small frame, gray hair and the many wrinkles lining her face, he knew some might consider her an old woman. But the depth of her spiritual faith and her good health belied her seventy-plus years and made Stella one of the most powerful women Jacob knew.
“A nice morning for a run,” Gran commented. “How did the singles meeting go last night?”
“Very well,” he said. “The program was good, and Erica brought her neighbor, Aimee Blake, to the meeting. She seemed to enjoy it, and she may be interested in helping us with Siblings. I’m going to contact her about it.”
“I’ve heard Erica talk about a neighbor she’s wanted to bring to the singles meeting. She’s a widow, I believe?”
“That’s the one. She has one daughter who’s fourteen. We didn’t talk long, but I gathered Aimee was sincerely interested in our work.”
“We can use her help at the office,” Gran said. “A woman from Social Services called today, and they have two sisters they’d like us to lend a hand until they can find foster parents for them. It takes a lot of time to prepare profiles on new applicants, so I can use assistance. Besides, we have more children needing aid than we have volunteers.”
“I’ll contact Aimee sometime this weekend, and ask her to attend the Siblings meeting Tuesday evening.”
Although he wanted to see Aimee again, every time he started to dial her number that morning, Jacob got cold feet and backed out. Badly disillusioned by his fiancеe when he was barely out of his teens, he had determined not to go beyond friendship with any woman again.
If she joined the singles group, he would see her monthly, but if he saw her more often in the Siblings meetings, his attraction might grow. He had a feeling Aimee was different from the other women he’d dated. Or was she? He hadn’t reached a conclusion before he left for church that morning.
Intent on his job as an usher greeting parishioners and visitors and finding convenient seats for them, Jacob returned to the foyer just as Aimee opened the door and stepped inside. She looked a little lost until she saw him. A smile relaxed her face, and he wondered if she was aware of the enchanting picture she made when she smiled. He noted how the cobalt blouse she wore with a black suit brought out the blue of her eyes. She carried a silver bag, and large silver hoops dangled from her earlobes.
Completely disregarding his intentions to stay a safe distance from Aimee, Jacob hurried toward her with a smile. She returned his smile and accepted the hand he offered.
“Is this becoming a habit?” he said. “We keep running into each other.”
“I’m not following you,” she said with a low laugh. “I promise.”
He took a bulletin from a rack and gave it to her. “Well, it’s great that you’re here. Let me find a good seat for you.”
“Thanks, but I’m meeting Erica. I’ll wait for her.”
He indicated a row of chairs near the doors to the sanctuary. “Sit there. Erica usually arrives early, so she’ll be here soon.”
Aimee glanced through the bulletin as she waited for Erica, surreptitiously watching Jacob as he carried out his assigned duties as usher. His voice was compassionate. He was gracious to old and young alike. She noticed again how captivatingly handsome he was, and decided that Jacob’s nature matched his appearance.
Was it just coincidence, or was it significant that she had encountered Jacob three times in as many days? Her granny always used the expression “It was meant to be.” Could that be true of her meetings with Jacob? Not that she expected anything from him, but she could use another friend right now.
Her attention was diverted from Jacob when Erica hurried into the foyer. Aimee felt her face warming when Erica caught her intense scrutiny of the man. Jacob would have escorted them to a seat, but Erica waved him aside.
“Why didn’t you tell me Jacob would be at this service?” Aimee said as they walked down the aisle.
“I didn’t think about it.”
“He must be a busy man. If he’s active here at the church, has a counseling business and manages Substitute Siblings.”
“He’s busy all the time. Sometimes I think he’s a man driven to prove himself. He rarely misses a service. Neither does his grandmother, Stella Milton. If I see her, I’ll introduce you to her. You’ll like her.”
“This is a big room,” Aimee commented as they walked to the front of the long, formal sanctuary. They faced a pulpit several feet above the main floor, with a wide spread of organ pipes as a backdrop. A praise band was gathering to lead the opening service. The communion table featured an arrangement of white lilies behind an open Bible.
“The room is full most of the time. Where’s Samantha? Wouldn’t she come with you?”
Aimee answered, “I didn’t ask her. She came upstairs and announced that she was going to the mall with Jennifer. Instead of arguing, I told her that was good so she wouldn’t be alone while I went to church.”
“She looked as if she thought I’d lost it, but she didn’t say anything. It’s obvious she doesn’t want to be with me, yet she doesn’t want me to go anywhere without her either. Rather ironic, isn’t it?”
The service felt a little like coming home. It was a familiar blend of hymns, prayer, Bible reading and a sermon. The minister gave a powerful sermon on the text “Choose You This Day Whom You Will Serve?” Now that she had recommitted to a closer walk with God, Joshua’s words when he called the Hebrews to repentance held particular significance for Aimee. Before the service was over, she realized how good it was to be worshiping with God’s people again.
Aimee didn’t see Jacob as she left the service. She felt a slight hurry to face Samantha and stop putting off the inevitable. She prayed for guidance on how to approach her daughter when she got home, for she didn’t want to antagonize Samantha and cause her to be even more rebellious. But as a parent, she was responsible for guiding her daughter toward maturity and hoped to reestablish a loving connection.
She drew a deep breath when she heard Samantha enter the house. Sam was carrying a bag from one of the shoe stores in the mall. No doubt she’d been spending some of the birthday money her grandparents in Florida had sent her.
“Hi, Mom,” Samantha said, and quickly turned to go to her room.
“Come in here for a moment, please.”
Samantha paused on the threshold. “Why?”
“We need to talk,” Aimee said, and Samantha’s eyes narrowed a bit. Still holding her package, Samantha flounced down on the couch opposite Aimee’s chair.
Drawing a deep breath, Aimee said, “I’ve done a lot of thinking since you left for Jennifer’s sleepover yesterday. I’ve concluded that I haven’t been a good mother to you.”
Samantha’s gray eyes, so much like her father’s, opened in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Aimee said, “I’ve given you too much attention, too much love, too much freedom to choose your friends and make other personal decisions. Lately, you’ve been acting self-centered and disrespectful, at least to me, although I hope you show respect to other adults. Starting today, that has to change.”
“What does that mean?” Samantha’s eyes studied her mother pointedly.
“For starters,” Aimee answered, “from now on I expect you to assume some household chores, at least to clean your room and make your bed. And I’m taking you to school and picking you up as I’ve always done. When our relationship is better, we’ll talk again about you riding to school with Jennifer.”
Speechless for a few seconds, Samantha finally said, “You’re kidding, right?”
Shaking her head decisively, Aimee said, “I’ve never been more serious in my life.”
“Mom, when can I have a life? Stop treating me like a baby.” Samantha stared at her mother as if she were a monster.
“I’ve given you more freedom than I should have, and I’m not sure that was a good thing. I also had a call from your math teacher, and I didn’t like her report. Your grades need to improve overall. If you don’t carry a B average the rest of the year, you may have to take classes this summer.”
“That isn’t fair!”
“Perhaps not, but that’s the way it will be.”
“I’ll tell Grammy!”
“I’m sure you will, but Grandmother Blake isn’t your mother. She doesn’t get to decide what you do. Besides, I don’t think she would interfere in my decisions anyway.”
The phone rang, putting their discussion on hold as Samantha bounced out of the chair and ran to answer.
She soon returned and handed the cordless phone to Aimee. “It’s for you.”
“Who is it?” Aimee asked, thinking if it was Erica, she’d return her call later.
“I don’t know.”
Aimee sighed with exasperation. “Hello.”
