Her Own Rules

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“I’m looking forward to it,” she murmured and then moved out into the foyer of the suite as the waiter knocked and then let himself in. After ordering their drinks, she returned to the fireside and sat down.

Looking at her intently, shifting his stance slightly and leaning forward, Reed said, “I’m really rather put out with you, darling.”

“Oh?” Meredith stared at him questioningly. “Because I didn’t want to come down to tea and meet your friends?”

“No, no, of course not. That didn’t matter. But I am somewhat surprised that you went to lunch with Patsy when I had invited you to come over to the house.”

Meredith was taken aback. “But, Reed, Patsy and I had a lot of business to discuss. I told you last week, when I was still in New York, that I had many things to attend to on this trip, and—”

“Oh really!” he cut in with a sardonic laugh. “You could have dealt with Patsy on the phone, surely.”

“No, I couldn’t!” she shot back, her voice rising in exasperation. She was irritated with him; she realized, yet again, that he did not really take her work seriously. Suppressing a rush of impatience, she went on more calmly. “We had business to discuss, and I was anxious to see her.”

“But not anxious to see me.”

“Reed, don’t be—”

There was a loud knock and the waiter entered with the tray of drinks. Meredith got up, thanked him, and handed him some of the coins she kept in the ashtray for tips. After giving Reed his drink, she picked up her own, and sat on the sofa.

“Cheers,” Reed said, and took a swallow of his scotch and soda.

“Cheers.” Meredith merely touched the glass to her lips, then put it on the coffee table. She had no desire to drink tonight.

Once again Reed looked at her; this time he was smiling.

She was relieved the awkward moment had passed. It struck her that he seemed less morose tonight, and certainly he was in a better mood than he had been earlier, when she had run into him in the lobby.

“Have you told Patsy you’re planning to move to London within the next few months?” he asked.

Meredith gaped at him. “What makes you say that, Reed? I’m not moving anywhere.”

“When I was in New York in November you certainly indicated that you intended to live in London.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Oh Meredith, how can you say such a thing! I practically proposed to you, and I told you it was hard for me to go on like this any longer, that we couldn’t continue our affair if we were separated by the Atlantic Ocean. I made it quite clear I wanted you here with me. Very much so. And you certainly acquiesced.”

“Reed, that’s not true, I didn’t!”

“You did!”

“You imagined it, Reed. Never in a million years would I lead you to believe such a thing.”

He stared at her incredulously, sudden anger flaring in his dark eyes. “I distinctly remember telling you that I needed you here with me in London. And you agreed to come.”

Meredith had no recollection of this at all and was about to say so when he came and sat down next to her on the sofa.

“What’s wrong with you, darling? Why are you behaving like this?” he asked, moving closer, draping his arm along the back of the sofa. “Don’t be difficult, my dear, you know how I feel about you. I need you, Meredith, and I need you here. Not in New York, but living with me in London. I told you this when I was in the States, and I assumed you would get rid of the business and move as soon as you could. Settle here permanently with me.”

“Reed, you’ve truly misunderstood. I don’t know how that happened…but it did, somehow. And I’ve no intention of giving up my business.”

“Then don’t, darling. If you want to work, you can, although it’s really not necessary. I can support us extremely well, you know that. Forget the gallery, that’s not important, merely my hobby. Just remember that I do have a very large private income from my trust. Monty might be inheriting the old man’s title when he dies, after all he is the eldest son, but I’ve got Mummy’s money.”

Meredith sat gazing at him mutely. She was at a complete loss for words and filled with acute dismay.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, Reed pulled her into his arms. He was a tall man, well built and strong, and he caught hold of her hard, held her in a viselike grip, pressing his mouth on hers.

She struggled, managed to partially push him away, and pulled herself up on the sofa, straining to extricate herself from his arms.

Unexpectedly, Reed let go of her as abruptly as he had grabbed her. Giving her an odd look, he said in a quiet, icy voice, “Why did you pull away from me in such a violent manner as if I’m suddenly a leper? What’s wrong?”

Meredith bit her lip, said nothing. Then she sprang to her feet, hurried over to the window, and stood looking out.

A cold silence filled the room.

Meredith was shaking inside. She wanted to get this over. Be done with him. End the whole thing as gracefully as she could. But he was being difficult, and worse, imagining things that hadn’t happened.

After a moment or two, when she was calmer, she turned to face him and said slowly, in her kindest voice, “Reed, listen to me…things are…well, not right between us anymore. They haven’t been for weeks.”

“How on earth can you say that! We had a wonderful time in New York. Only a month ago, unless I’m sadly mistaken.”

Meredith shook her head, her dismay intensifying. She wanted to be considerate, to let him down lightly, yet she knew within herself that she must make her feelings absolutely clear to him. “It wasn’t wonderful, Reed, at least not for me. I realized you and I were completely incompatible, and not suited to each other at all. I began to feel ill at ease with you, and I certainly knew our relationship was on the skids, that it couldn’t possibly work.”

“That’s not so, and you know it. If you lived here and we weren’t conducting our relationship long distance, everything would be entirely different. Please move to London to be with me, Meredith.”

“Reed, I’ve just told you, as far as I’m concerned we don’t have a future together. And anyway, I have such a huge commitment to my business.”

“Oh don’t go on so, Meredith. I can’t believe for one moment that you’re such a dyed-in-the-wool career woman as you claim to be. I couldn’t love that kind of woman, and I do love you.”

Meredith was silent.

He repeated, “I love you.”

“Oh Reed, I’m so sorry…but I just don’t feel the same way.”

“That’s not what you led me to believe,” he said softly, his eyes narrowing.

“I admit I was infatuated with you last fall, that’s true. But it was an infatuation, nothing stronger or more lasting. I can’t make a commitment to you, I just can’t.”

“It’s been so good between us, Meredith. Why are you saying these things?”

Taking a deep breath, Meredith plunged in. “I very quickly came to understand that you don’t take my life seriously. Not my personal family life with my children, and certainly not my work. I will not negate my children’s existence for you, or anyone else for that matter, and I will never give up my work. It’s far too important to me. I’ve put too many years and too much effort into my business.”