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Mark stifled a guffaw and I shot a glare at him.
‘I’m not—I’m not sure,’ she stuttered.
So, she was indecisive. That wasn’t a problem either. All I had to do was make sure she was satisfied with the service. She didn’t sound as if she could cope with someone too bullish, like Simon, our resident rugby player. She needed a gentleman who wouldn’t frighten her off.
‘You sound nice.’ She laughed nervously. ‘Are you available?’
Fuck!
‘Thank you, Jenny, but, sorry, I’m not.’ I tried to sound calm and friendly though I felt out of my depth. ‘I tell you what, though, I’ll make sure you have a pleasant surprise.’
I took down her details and we said goodbye to each other.
As I put down the receiver, Mark started clapping.
‘Congratulations. You’ve just nailed our very first client!’
‘Yeah, and now we’ve got to decide which of us’ll have her. Will you go?’
I sat down beside him, and picked up my can from the floor.
‘What’s she like?’
‘She sounded old enough to be my mother.’
Mark grimaced.
I laughed. ‘You’ve just discounted Madonna.’
‘Er, yeah.’
‘All angles and humourless. Fair point,’ I agreed. ‘Hang on, I know who.’ I got up again and returned to the phone.
‘What? Who?’ quizzed Mark.
I pressed the buttons and put the receiver to my ear, leaning against the wall. ‘Rob, of course. He’s always game on. For one thing, he could do with the cash.’
‘Well, yeah,’ shrugged Mark. ‘He could always do with the cash. Isn’t that his problem?’
Rob had never quite got the hang of money, especially since his bank seemed so keen to give him more of it whenever he wanted. Except they had now decided to call in the debt. The magic had fallen out of the plastic.
Come on, Rob, I prayed. Pick up, pick up.
He eventually picked up.
‘Hey, Rob. It’s Luke. How’d you like to make a fast buck? We’ve had a client call for an escort and your name came up.’
Flatter the guy.
Across the room, one of Mark’s eyebrows arched up. Rob was up for it too. I could sense his excitement down the line.
‘I tell you what. As this is your first time, forget about the commission and just come back and tell me all about it and buy me a beer.’
I took a swig from my own can, and set it down on the seat of the chair beside me. I couldn’t help noticing that, across the room, both of Mark’s eyebrows were now up his forehead. The sense of that anger was a distraction even as I gave Rob the details. I ended the call, and confronted him.
‘What?’
‘How’s the business supposed to survive if nobody puts any money in the pot?’ he steamed as I sat back down.
‘Aw, I know, but if you can’t help out a mate, eh? Anyhow, it is our first ever call—not that Rob knows that. It won’t happen again.’
We sat in silence and drank our beer. Then Mark grinned, his spirits obviously lifting.
‘God, Luke, we’re officially launched. Can you believe it?’
I smiled and nodded. We high-fived.
Rob called after I’d finished at the café the following evening and was putting together my dinner. I could hear pub clatter in the background and hoped he wasn’t soaking up too much Dutch courage before his assignment.
‘Luke, I’m not sure about this. I don’t know if I can go through with it.’
Don’t get cold feet on me, Rob.
‘Don’t worry about it. Think of it like any other date. You meet, have a drink, you go back to her place…’
I picked at the peeling wallpaper around the phone. A previous tenant had used the plaster to jot down numbers that I sometimes wondered if I should call just for the hell of it.
‘Yeah, but I fancy my dates,’ Rob flung back. ‘What if I don’t fancy her?’
‘Well, that’s where the dosh comes in. Just think about the money!’
I thought of nervous Jenny wanting someone who’d treat her well, who wouldn’t ride roughshod over her. No, it wasn’t justabout the money.
‘Look, Rob, everyone gets nervous their first time. Of course they do. She’ll be just as anxious. Take it easy.’
A slither of wallpaper came away in my hand, and I let it fall to the floor.
‘Did you get nervous, Luke? What was it like?’
I gulped. He had no idea he was the first of any of us to test out our escort scheme.
I evaded the question. On the carpet beneath the phone was a growing pile of peelings that needed a good vacuum. If we’d had a vacuum cleaner.
‘It’s different for everyone. You’ve got to go out there and make your own mark. Be every woman’s dream!’
‘Yeah, right,’ said Rob, not sounding at all confident.
‘You know what to do, of course you do. You’re used to scoring, yeah? Just be a bit more of a gentleman when you go about it.’ On second thoughts: ‘Unless of course she requests otherwise.’
There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. That was better.
‘Okay, okay.’
‘Don’t worry. You’ll be fine,’ I reassured him. ‘Just be careful you don’t drink too much beforehand. You want to make a good impression.’
‘Will do.’
‘And I want to hear all about it afterwards. Now, go forth and enjoy yourself.’
When he called back around ten thirty, Rob was clearly back in the pub. He sounded as if he’d won the Lottery.
‘Easiest hundred and fifty quid I ever fucking made,’ he shouted over the bar hubbub.
‘Told you you’d be fine,’ I laughed, caught up in his high spirits.
‘Nah, you’ll never believe it. She didn’t want to go through with it.’
‘No!’ I was gob-smacked.
‘You bet. We met at Dunkin Donuts, like you said. Off Piccadilly. And it lasted about forty minutes and we just had a cup of coffee. And that was it. We never even reached the hotel. And she still paid me!’
The jammy bastard.
‘If it’s that fucking easy, send me out to every woman you get,’ he burbled.
‘If it’s that fucking easy, Rob, I’ll keep them all to myself.’
Jenny called the following week. The only call we received. We weren’t about to make a living out of this game just yet. Nor escape my shifts at the café and the pub anytime soon.
‘Hello, Luke, it’s Jenny.’
My mind went blank for a second. Jenny? I’d been so rushed off my feet with the waiting this week I’d almost forgotten about our advert. But then it all flooded back, and I went into receptionist mode straight away.
‘Hello, Jenny, it’s lovely to hear from you. Rob told me he enjoyed meeting you last week.’
Didn’t he just.
‘He was very nice.’
‘See, I told you I’d give you a pleasant surprise,’ I boasted.
‘Yes, thank you. Um…’
There was an awkward silence. I jumped in feet first. This was a business we were running, after all.
‘Is there anything we can do for you? Perhaps you’d like to see him again?’
When she spoke next, her voice was halting and quiet:
‘The thing is, Luke, I’d like to meet you.’
You fucking bet. Rob’s just made one hundred and fifty quid.Count me in.
‘Is that allowed?’
This time I was ready. But first I had to cover myself so Jenny didn’t start wondering why the last time she called I was just the receptionist.
‘Well, Jenny, as it happens, we do have a policy when there’s a run on the boys.’ Like heck we do. ‘We’d hate to leave any of our clients waiting.’
‘So we can meet?’ There was a hopeful girlishness to her voice.
‘Certainly, Jenny.’
I began mentally spending the money on some decent jeans, a couple of CDs, and putting something towards the phone bill. The calls back home cost a bomb. And she’d even be paying for the coffee!
‘Oh, I’m so glad. Because this time I want to go through with it. I want you to make love to me, Luke.’
There was a screech of brakes in my head.
Just my fucking luck.
‘When would you like me to visit? And if I could take your address,’ I asked, through gritted teeth I hoped she couldn’t detect.
I scribbled down her details, said goodbye and hung up.
Yep, we were officially launched, Mark. Well and truly fuckinglaunched…
Jenny (#uf92b4f6a-13f8-5322-8824-4351d4bbb0fe)
Late August
I caught my reflection in the tube window opposite but I couldn’t look myself in the eye. I glanced down at my hands, gripped together in my lap to stop them shaking.
I don’t need this stress in my life. I don’t have to meet Jenny. Icould get out at the next stop and go right home again.
This was it. My Day of Reckoning. My first time of making a go of the escort work and I was damned sure it showed on my face. I bit my lip and forced myself to look up at my fellow travellers, like what I was about to do was the most normal thing in the world.
I realised I was staring straight at a woman. I’d been so caught up in my thoughts I hadn’t even registered her. I turned my head upwards to view the ad above her head. It told me which number to ring if I wanted to hire some air-con. I slipped a glance back at the girl. She was a couple of years older than me and was engrossed in her copy of Metro. She had dark eyes and smooth shoulder-length brunette hair with a fringe, and was better than average looking. An English rose.
You could, couldn’t you?
That was the crux of the matter. I slipped a glance at all of the women on the seats around me and weighed up whether I would shag them or not. And wondered whether any of them looked anything like Jenny.
The tube drew into Shepherd’s Bush and I got up. I swallowed back my nerves. I didn’t want to think too much about what I was about to do. I turned left out of the station until I reached Jenny’s street.
The further I followed the curve of Jenny’s road, the seedier the terraced houses became. Her address had all the hallmarks of a cheap multiple occupancy. An unkempt front garden that nobody took any responsibility for. Check. Tatty labels taped next to the doorbells. Yup. Makeshift curtains at some of the windows. You bet. Rob had so had the better deal.
This was my very last chance to split. I braced myself and pressed Jenny’s doorbell.
