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4 Bodies and a Funeral
Stephanie Bond
One cadaver, two cadaver, three cadaver, four…Ever had one of those days? A surprise visit from her father—who’s on the run from the law—has given Carlotta Wren a lot to think about. Should she join her former fiancé, Peter, in proving her father is innocent? If she does, are her body-moving days over?And then… A close friend’s behaviour begins to spin out of control… The cops turn up the heat on her father’s case… Carlotta discovers that her brother Wesley’s gambling debts are child’s play compared to his new vice… And the Charmed Killer, a serial murderer, unleashes his wrath on Atlanta. Now the bodies are piling up—and Carlotta’s father is the number one suspect!
Look what people are saying about the BODY MOVERS series …
“There should be a notice on her books: for a really
GOOD time, read Stephanie Bond!”
—America Online Romance Fiction Forum
“Bond has successfully switched to the crime genre,
bringing along her trademark humour and panache.”
—Booklist on Body Movers
“A fun and exciting romp from beginning to end.
Body Movers is signature Stephanie Bond, with witty dialogue, brilliant characterisation, and a wonderful well-plotted storyline.” —Contemporary Romance Writers
“Bond keeps the pace frantic, the plot tight and the
laughs light, and supplies a cliffhanger ending
that’s a bargain at twice the price.”
—Publishers Weekly, Starred review! on Body Movers: 2 Bodies for the Price of 1
“Stephanie Bond knows what her readers want and
she definitely delivers it in this fantastic
new instalment.”
—FreshFiction.com on Body Movers: 2 Bodies for the Price of 1
“Bond continues her popular BODY MOVERS
series with a fast-paced and wickedly humorous story
that skewers fame and celebrity obsession with
deadly accuracy.”
—RT Book Reviews, 4 1/2 stars! on Body Movers: 3 Men and a Body
“Where the [BODY MOVERS] series goes next
continues to be an intriguing mystery. Readers who
love a combination of suspense and sexy romance will
find their thrills in Bond’s latest offering.”
—BookPage on Body Movers: 3 Men and a Body
Also byStephanie Bond
BODY MOVERS:
2 BODIES FOR THE PRICE OF 1
BODY MOVERS: 3 MEN & A BODY
4 Bodies
and a Funeral
Stephanie Bond
www.mirabooks.co.uk (http://www.mirabooks.co.uk)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The longer my career goes on, the more I appreciate my wonderful editors, who are champions for this series. Many, many thanks to Brenda Chin, who somehow manages to read my material both as a reader and as an editor. Brenda puts a shine on everything I write. Thanks, too, to Margaret O’Neill Marbury, Dianne Moggy and Valerie Gray for your ongoing support of the series and especially for arranging the back-to-back release of books 4, 5 and 6. And to my agent Kimberly Whalen of Trident Media Group who first proposed a trilogy to help satisfy readers who were clamouring for closer release dates! Thanks to my critique partner, Rita Herron, for our weekly meetings and for not being too biased about who Carlotta will pick. Thanks to pal Blair Fisher, former soldier, trivia whiz, all-around good guy for always answering my e-mails. My undying love and thanks to my dear husband, Chris, who cheers me on with every new project and keeps me going until The End. And to all the booksellers, librarians and readers who keep the ball rolling by telling customers, patrons and friends about the BODY MOVERS series—thank you, thank you, thank you.
1
Carlotta Wren skidded onto the sales floor of the Neiman Marcus at Lenox Square in Atlanta soaked in a flop sweat. Late on her first day back—minus ten points.
“Welcome back.”
Carlotta turned and manufactured a smile for Lindy Russell, her boss, who was standing with arms crossed. “Thank you. It’s good to be back.”
Lindy pursed her mouth. “Too bad you couldn’t make this morning’s staff meeting.”
Carlotta’s smile wavered, but she massaged the flexible cast on her arm. “Sorry. This morning was the first time I’d driven in a while, and my car battery was dead.” She didn’t think it would help to mention that the MARTA trains were being single-tracked for construction. Still, she decided not to dwell on transportation challenges since her recent medical leave had come on the heels of a two-week suspension to “get her personal issues worked out.”
Personal issues such as her brother’s gambling debts, her ruined credit, the fact that her parents were long-lost fugitives … and oh, she’d been entangled in a couple of murders as a by-product of her part-time hobby as a body mover for the morgue.
“Things happen,” Lindy conceded. “Is your arm healing well?”
Carlotta flexed the fingers of the arm that had been broken when a killer had pushed her over the balcony of the Fox Theatre, where she’d dangled with her skirt around her waist for all the attendees of an Elton John concert to see. “Almost as good as new.” Though, at the moment it was throbbing like a toothache.
Sympathy crossed Lindy’s face. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about Michael.”
Michael Lane, aka the person who’d pushed her over the balcony, had been Carlotta’s former coworker and friend. He’d also turned out to have some very dark secrets.
“Me, too,” Carlotta murmured, wishing her heart could be splinted like her arm had been.
“I don’t suppose you’ve heard from him?”
She shook her head. “I was told he’s in the psych ward at Northside Hospital until he’s deemed competent to stand trial.”
“So terrible.” Lindy sighed, then checked the clipboard she held. “Well, life goes on, doesn’t it?”
Carlotta blinked. It was true, but still …
“I’m glad you could come back in time for the Eva McCoy appearance.” Lindy swept her arm toward the small dais that had been erected on the sales floor with several rows of cordoned-off chairs for seating.
Olympian Eva McCoy’s return to her hometown had been hyped on all the media outlets for weeks. “That’s today?”
Lindy arched an eyebrow.
Carlotta backpedaled. “I mean … that’s today.”
“Since you missed the staff meeting, here’s the info.” Lindy handed over a memo. “It’s going to be a mob scene so I’ll need all my best employees on the floor.”
Pleasure suffused Carlotta’s chest—her history of being a consistent top salesperson still meant something.
“And here’s one now,” Lindy said, looking past Carlotta’s shoulder. Carlotta turned and swallowed a curse when she saw Patricia Alexander, aka Stepford Salesclerk, complete with rounded-collar suit, helmet hair and strand of pearls, walking toward them.
The blonde flashed a waxy smile. “I’d heard you were coming back, Carlotta, but when I didn’t see you at this morning’s staff meeting, I assumed that something else had happened. You’re so … accident prone.”
Carlotta’s mouth tightened.
“I’ll let you two catch up for a couple of minutes before the crowd arrives,” Lindy said, handing them each a roll of tickets to be passed out to customers who wanted to meet the guest of honor. Then she gave Carlotta a pointed look. “I tend to agree with Patricia. There’s going to be a lot of security on hand today, so try not to do anything that might draw extra attention.” Lindy walked off, leaving Carlotta properly chastised—in front of her nemesis.
“Ouch,” Patricia chirped.
Carlotta was able to hold her tongue because she knew she deserved far worse from her boss than a reprimand for all her … mishaps. Determined to get along with Lindy’s new pet employee, she turned toward Patricia. “I suppose you took Michael’s place in Shoes?”
“Yes. It’s such a shame, isn’t it, that he turned out to be totally insane?”
Carlotta bit her tongue.
“So, I’ll bet you’re happy to be back to work,” Patricia offered. “You were probably bored to tears doing nothing all day.”
“I didn’t exactly do nothing,” Carlotta muttered, although she couldn’t exactly tell Patricia about the road trip she’d taken with Coop for a VIP body pickup, the unexpected appearance of her father, and the capture of a murderer while she’d been “incapacitated,” on leave with a broken arm. Instead she pasted on a smile. “But I am happy to be back in my element.”
Patricia made rueful noises in her throat. “I hope you had time to rest, you poor thing. The heartbreak you’ve been through the past decade—you must be close to the brink of insanity yourself.”
Carlotta’s hands fisted. Patricia moved in the Buckhead social circles, so she knew the sordid Wren family history—that ten years ago Carlotta’s father had been accused of stealing from his investment clients and had skipped town rather than face a trial, with her mother in tow, abandoning Carlotta and her younger brother to fend for themselves.
At the thought of her brother, Wesley, Carlotta stole a glance at her watch. He should be arriving at the Fulton County D.A.’s office right about now, hopefully working out a plea agreement, testifying against one of his loan sharks in return for reduced charges for his part in the attempted theft of a body. His attorney, Liz, was hopeful that Wesley would get off with having his community service sentence from a prior computer hacking charge extended. But Carlotta was worried that even Liz Fuck-Me Fischer wouldn’t be able to parlay enough sexual favors to make it happen. Carlotta had wanted to go with Wesley today, but he’d refused, saying it was something he needed to take care of himself. It might have been the moment she’d been most proud of him.
Except for the fact that he could be sitting in a jail cell before her shift ended.
What would she do for bail money? And what if Wesley didn’t get out this time?
Patricia waved her hand in front of Carlotta’s face. “Did I lose you?”
“No,” she said, squaring her shoulders. “And I’m coping with everything just fine.”
Patricia leaned in. “If you need something to take the edge off, I can spot you some antianxiety meds.”
“No, thank you,” Carlotta said through gritted teeth, although beneath the cast her arm was hot with pain. Knowing it would really hurt, though, if she slugged the woman, Carlotta changed the subject. “Looks like we’re going to have a big crowd today for Eva McCoy.”
“Yeah, speaking of crazy … . The woman wins a marathon after a bout of food poisoning, gives all the credit to a lucky charm bracelet and suddenly charm bracelets are selling like mad.” Patricia shook her head, apparently bemused with the trend.
Carlotta smirked. Her coworker was only frustrated because she wasn’t working in Jewelry, earning commissions on the trinkets that Eva would be promoting.
Customers were already gathering in the area of the dais where posters featured the smiling, fit Olympian with a gold medal around her neck and a “Lucky Charm Bracelet” on her slender wrist.
Carlotta and Patricia positioned themselves in front of the GET YOUR TICKETS TO MEET EVA McCOY HERE sign and began handing out tickets, and directing early comers where to sit or stand.
“So,” Patricia asked without making eye contact. “How are you and Peter Ashford?”
Choosing her words carefully, Carlotta said, “Peter and I are old friends.”
“So I’ve heard. Tracey Tully Lowenstein belongs to my club. She said that you and Peter used to be quite the item before … your family issues.”
“That was a long time ago,” Carlotta murmured.
“Tracey intimated that you two have picked up where you left off.”
“Tracey talks too much,” Carlotta said pointedly.
“I think it’s nice that you and Peter have each other,” Patricia said. “You can support each other. You know, with his wife having been murdered, and then all that you’ve gone through.” The blonde winced. “Wait a minute. Weren’t you a suspect in her murder? Gee, that has to be a little awkward.”
“Not at all,” Carlotta said pleasantly.
Patricia sniffed and turned her back.
Carlotta shot daggers into the woman’s bony shoulder blades. In truth, Carlotta was still wrestling with her recent decision to cozy up to her former fiancé. When her father had walked up to her, unannounced and in disguise, at a rest area a few weeks ago in Florida, he’d told her to stay close to Peter—that since Peter worked for Mashburn & Tully Investments where her father had once been a partner, he was in the best position to help prove Randolph Wren’s innocence. Until that moment, Carlotta would have sworn that if her long-lost father had ever approached her, she would slap him, kick his shins, spit in his face and call the police. Instead she’d been gelatinous and cooperative and … hopeful.
The fact that he made her want to believe that he’d been framed for his white collar crime made her feel used all over again.
Her father was using her—and she was using Peter. Since his wife’s untimely death, Peter had made no secret that he wanted to get back with Carlotta. He’d even recovered the Cartier engagement ring that she’d pawned, and he’d had a diamond added on either side of the original solitaire. He was holding it for her, hoping she’d agree to pick up where they’d left off years ago. Just as if he hadn’t ripped out her heart by turning his back on her when she needed him most.
But he was trying to make amends, she conceded. He’d helped Wesley out of a couple of scrapes and continued to be attentive to her. A couple of weeks ago, though, after she’d returned from Florida, his patience had worn thin. He’d been offered a position in New York and had been going to take it, unless she could make room for him in her life. She couldn’t risk him leaving, on the chance that her father might call or put in another appearance soon, in need of Peter’s inside access. So she’d told Peter to stay and had committed herself to making their relationship a priority.
Normally, being on the receiving end of a handsome, rich man’s attentions wouldn’t pose a problem, but there were … extenuating circumstances. Namely, two other men bouncing around in her head and in her heart.
“I wondered if I’d see you here.”
At the sound of a familiar rumbling voice, her pulse spiked. She turned around to see one of those two men, Detective Jack Terry, standing there with a sardonic smile on his ruggedly handsome face, as if she’d conjured him up. Her entire body smiled. “Hi, Jack.”
