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Sara turned Claire to face her. “Listen to me. You are perfect the way you are. Plastic surgery isn’t going to change your relationship with your mother.”
“You don’t know—”
“I do know. I spent years jumping through hoops to win my mother’s approval. Guess what? Never happened. Maybe it never will. I hope it does for you, Claire. I hope your mom gets healthy and realizes how precious you are to her. Until then, I know your dad loves you. Even if he isn’t great at showing you how much.”
“I just want to fit in here,” Claire said miserably, her green eyes, so like Josh’s, welling again.
“I know, sweetie.”
“Would you take me shopping sometime?” Claire asked. “None of my clothes are right for Colorado, you know?”
Sara thought about the women in Feathers and Floss. “Are you looking for Wranglers and studded belt buckles?”
“No.” Claire laughed. “Just clothes to hang out in. If you don’t have time, I understand.”
Sara gave her a quick hug. “I have time. How about before the weekend? I’ll drive us down to Denver. We can make it a girls’ day out. Go to lunch. Get our nails done.”
“Really?”
“Of course, I may only be able to afford one sock, but we’ll do our best.”
“Dad has money. I could ask if we can use his credit card.”
Sara almost choked from laughing so hard. “I bet he’d love that.” She pushed the hair off Claire’s innocent face. “I pay my own way. But, heck, yeah, we’ll get his card for you. A shopping trip is one thing dads are always good for.”
“Was your dad good for that kind of stuff?”
Sara’s father had been a nameless stuntman on one of her mother’s B movies. An on-set fling for Rose, who hadn’t even told him she was pregnant and had never shared his identity with Sara.
“I don’t know my father.”
“Oh. I guess it’s good that Josh wants me to live with him anyway.”
“He doesn’t like it when you call him Josh.”
Claire grinned. “I know.”
“How much did you see him before this summer?”
“A couple of times a year when he had time off from the tour. He’d come to my school and take me out to dinner. He sent me presents from the road. Lots of stuffed animals and things like that. I’d never been to the rodeo until...” Claire wrapped her arms tight around her chest. “The accident was my fault. Did you know that?”
Sara had read a half-dozen articles about the horrific accident that had ended Josh’s career. It still made her sick to her stomach to think about the images she’d seen on YouTube. But none of the reports had mentioned Claire. “Why do you say that?”
“I was there.” Claire scrunched up her face. “Mom was having a bad time. It was winter break and she was stuck with me. She found out there was an event a few days before Christmas and flew us both down there. I think she wanted to dump me with him for the holidays. She didn’t tell him we were coming. Right before he came out of the gate, he looked up and saw me. It broke his concentration.” Claire drew in a shaky breath. “They let the bull go right at that moment and...” Her voice broke off as she shook her head. “The whole arena was silent when it happened. I thought he was dead. The bull was so big and it landed right on him.”
“Claire.” Sara drew the girl into another tight hug. Sara had been through some bad stuff as a kid, but this poor girl gave her a run for her money in the bad-childhood department.
“They took him to the hospital straight from the event. I didn’t see him again until he showed up on the last day of spring semester.” Claire wiped her cheek against Sara’s sleeve. “If I hadn’t been there, he’d still be riding.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Sara whispered against the girl’s head. “It was a terrible accident. But not your fault. Not your fault.”
“But I—”
“Have you and your dad talked about what happened?”
Claire didn’t answer.
“I’m sure he doesn’t blame you.”
“He should.”
“You need to talk to him.”
“No,” Claire whispered. “I don’t want to hear him tell me I ruined his life.”
* * *
Josh sagged onto the wall outside his daughter’s bedroom and swallowed against the bile that rose in his throat. He’d come to find her minutes ago but stopped short when he’d heard her conversation with Sara.
He didn’t blame Claire for the accident. His break in concentration was his own fault. He’d been riding bulls long enough to know his focus should be zeroed in on the thousand pounds of angry animal between his legs. But when he’d seen Claire, he’d been thrown. Literally and figuratively.
Apparently, they’d both paid a price for his lapse in focus.
In his mind, he’d hoped she hadn’t seen much or understood how bad it had been. Hoped her mother would whisk her away before she realized how serious it was. Jennifer had probably been too tipsy to understand the extent of the damage. But not Claire.
He had a hazy memory of trying to smile even as he felt his leg shatter, thinking that if his daughter could see him he didn’t want to frighten her. He hadn’t wanted her to know how scared he had been. Even now, that thought kept him rooted to his spot in the hall when his heart knew he should be the one with his arms around her, comforting and soothing her.
He’d waited until he could hide his injury before he’d come to see her, thinking that would be easier for both of them. Since he’d brought her to the ranch, sometimes he’d catch her staring at his right knee, especially toward the end of the day when exhaustion and overuse made it more difficult to hide his slight limp.
He wanted to be strong for her, not weak and half-broken. Bending forward, he rubbed at his leg, willing the pain to go away. He straightened and thumped on the wall as he walked to the end of the hall. “Claire,” he called, coming back toward her room. “Are you up here?”
He made some more noise before poking his head in her room. She sat on the edge of the bed with Sara next to her. While she smiled at him, her eyes were red and puffy from her tears. “Hey, Dad,” she said cheerfully, a sure sign that things were very wrong.
Sara watched him as if his face gave away the fact that he’d been eavesdropping. Impossible, he thought, but kept his gaze on Claire. “It’s a gorgeous day,” he said to his daughter. “I thought we could take an ATV up to Bitter Creek Pass, check on the trails and maybe have lunch.”
Her smile faded. “I don’t think so.”
He took a breath and made his tone light. “Come on. It’ll be fun. Just you and me and a ton of horsepower.”
She scrunched up her nose. “Those things are so loud and they go really fast.”
“That’s supposed to be the fun part,” he said, trying not to sound frustrated.
He let his eyes drift to Sara, who looked at him with a hint of sympathetic smile. “Can I come, too?” she asked.
As much as his body ached to be near Sara, part of him was angry his daughter had confided her pain to someone besides him. And he wanted her to know it. “There’s only room for two on the ATVs, Hollywood.”
“Einstein in a Stetson, aren’t you? Thanks for pointing that out. I was thinking I’d have my own four-wheeler.”
Her attitude made him grin despite himself. “You think you can handle it?”
She matched his smile. “Oh, yeah. I can handle it.”
Claire cleared her throat, and Sara turned that million-watt grin on his daughter. “What do you say? I bet I can beat you and your old man to the top of the pass.”
“He’s knows a lot about ATVs.”
Sara tossed her hair. “I’m not scared of his ego.”
Claire gave a tiny giggle. “We’re going to kick your butt,” she said quietly.
“Oh, smack talk,” Sara said with a loud laugh. “Guess the cowboy isn’t the only one in the Travers family with a healthy ego. I love it. I’ll help April pack a lunch while you two get the equipment ready.”
Claire popped up off the bed and took two steps before Josh saw her realize her part of the deal. She slowed, dragging one bare foot across the carpet. “I guess that would be okay.”
Josh didn’t wait for her to change her mind. “Let’s go, then,” he said, hoping he sounded enthusiastic and not as scared as he was to mess up this chance with her. “We’ll make sure Sara gets the slow one,” he added in a stage whisper.
“Dad, that’s not fair.” Claire wiggled a finger at him.
“Right. Sorry.”
“I mean, we’re going to beat her bad enough as it is.” Claire’s eyes danced as she grinned at him and his heart skipped a beat. Her smile was so like his sister, Beth’s. A smile he missed like he missed riding.
“You bet we are,” he agreed, and motioned her to lead him out the door.
As she walked past, he met Sara’s gaze. She arched a brow.
“Thank you,” he mouthed.
Instead of the sassy comeback he expected, she only nodded and shooed him after Claire.
Chapter Six (#ulink_f82b5b57-bb44-543e-b294-68fd8fd088b1)
“Get her!” Claire yelled in his ear over the roar of the four-wheeler’s motor. “She’s killing us.”
Josh smiled as he hit the gas. He watched Sara’s jeans stretch tight across her perfect bottom as she leaned into a turn on the narrow trail. He couldn’t muster one bit of temper at getting his butt kicked by Hollywood Barbie. He was simply having too much fun racing up the mountain with his daughter’s laughter filling him and her small arms wrapped around his waist as though she was totally comfortable in the moment. As though she trusted him.
He pushed hard on the throttle because the one thing Claire trusted him to do right now was catch up to Sara.
This day was another revelation about Sara. He’d expected her to be hesitant and unsure on the ATV, since she said she’d never ridden one before. But after a few minutes of instruction and warm-up, she took off on the dirt road that led from the property to the forest service trail as though she’d spent her life on the mountain.
Between the pain in his leg and Claire’s extra weight behind him, it had taken Josh longer to find his groove. By that time, Sara was at least three hundred yards ahead of them.
She looked back over her shoulder, and her grin widened, hair escaping its ponytail under the helmet to whirl around her neck. He felt something unfamiliar around his stomach as he followed her, the powerful ATV vibrating under him, and realized it was happiness—an emotion he hadn’t experienced in far too long.
Most of his last two years on the PBR tour had been spent defending his title and reputation from a new crop of upstarts willing to risk life and limb for a steady paycheck and an adrenaline rush. Green kids, the same as Josh had been when he’d first gone pro, with nothing to hold him down or back in his quest for fame and what little fortune there was to be had in the arena. Years on the back of a bull had taken its toll on his mind and body. He still felt the repercussions as he maneuvered around a fallen log, his back screaming as his knee throbbed.
“We’re gaining on her,” Claire yelled in his ear. “Go, Dad, go! You can do it!”
A surge of power coursed through him. Who needed Advil when he had his daughter’s confidence?
“Hold on tight,” he answered, and took a sharp left onto a single-track trail invisible to anyone unfamiliar with this mountain.
They sped along rocks and exposed roots. Hundred-year-old pine trees rose on either side of the trail, the smell of the woods thick and warm on this beautiful afternoon. It reminded him of all the reasons he’d come here with his daughter, why he believed—with enough time and patience—this place could heal them both.
Claire let out a delighted screech and Josh’s smile spread. “Almost there.”
He made another turn and the forest cleared. They raced into a high country meadow, bathed in sunlight. The Rocky Mountain peaks towered in the background, their tips still covered in snow. At this altitude, Josh still felt a slight chill to the air as he slowed the ATV in the middle of the clearing.
Claire hopped off and looked around. “We did it,” she screamed.
At the same moment, Sara’s four-wheeler came into view. She stood up from her seat as she got closer, shock and amusement clear on her face.
Skidding to a stop in front of them, she cut the engine and sank back onto the machine, gasping for breath. “How in the world did you beat me?” she asked with a laugh.
“Shortcut,” he answered simply.
Claire danced a circle around Sara’s ATV. “We won, we won,” she chanted, and did a complicated series of dance moves that made Josh smile.
“Nice work.” Sara gave Josh a small nod as she climbed off the machine. “You did good.”
Another surprise.
Josh didn’t often encounter good sportsmanship, so he expected at least a little pouting or fuss. Nothing. It was like she didn’t care a bit about winning. For so long Josh had been focused on competing it was hard to change gears and enjoy something just for the fun of it.
Sara seemed to appreciate his daughter’s buoyant mood as much as he did. Claire wrapped her arms around her. “That was awesome!”
“It sure was.” She released Claire after a long hug, and Josh watched her take in the scene in front of them. She sucked in a breath. “Wow. This is amazing.”
“Yes, it is,” Josh agreed, but continued to watch her.
* * *
Sensation rippled across Sara’s stomach as she felt his gaze. She was careful not to look at him, afraid of what she’d see in his stormy sea eyes and what her own might reveal. She prided herself on staying in control of her emotions, and had the hard-won walls around her heart to prove it. But she’d left that self-possession somewhere on the mountain and needed a few moments to regain it.
She turned a circle to see the full meadow view, then took another deep breath and closed her eyes. Her whole body tingled from the excitement of the ride. Yep, she told herself, it was an adrenaline rush and nothing more. Not her reaction to Josh.
Not at all.
It had been years since she’d let herself go all out like she had on the mountain. She’d left the world and its troubles behind and simply felt free.
When was the last time she’d truly felt free? She honestly couldn’t answer that question.
Still not trusting her emotions, she busied herself removing a backpack from the rack of the ATV. “I’ve got sandwiches and drinks here,” she called over her shoulder.
“I’m spreading the blanket,” Claire answered from the middle of the meadow.
“Is everything okay?”
