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Not all buffets were made equal, though – there are a few different ways that you can do this. First up: a very British classic. This is your traditional buffet – all triangle sarnies, cocktail sausages and little pieces of cheese and pineapple on sticks. Beef it up with the likes of pizza slices and Indian or Chinese snack selections – and add some jelly and ice-cream if it’s not too hot for a touch of retro fun.
Second, if your venue is the kind where you supply your own caterers, talk to them about something a bit different, or pull it together yourself. Sweetie tables have been big for a while now and aren’t showing any signs of going anywhere. They’re literally pretty tables spread with Cath Kidston-esque linen, glass jars filled with sweets and maybe a few cakes – we used our wedding cake as the centrepiece. Seriously, think how easy it would be to nab some containers (save, hire or buy from your local ASDA or Wilkinson), then raid your local pick ‘n’ mix (we miss you, Woolworths!) or snap up grab-bags of your fave sweets and go fill ’em up.
On a similar theme – but requiring more input from your caterers, who will love your ingenuity – ‘build-your-own’ bars are popping up all over the place. Featuring everything from top-your-own jacket potatoes or ice creams to fill-your-own fajitas, brainstorm fave foods with your groom and go from there. Anyone for stack-your-own sandwich with baguettes, cobs and rolls, or build-a-burger with different meats, veggie bean patties, relish and sauces?
Finally, if you’ve got chefs among your rellies who are vying for a part in proceedings, make the most of their talents instead of padding out your ceremony with a million readings. You can specify your favourite eats or just allocate some cooks sweets and some savouries, then have each one bring a labelled dish – preferably one that can be served cold unless your venue doesn’t mind you using their ovens – along with serving utensils so everyone can dig in on the day. Now that’s what I call a family feast.
Bottle It
Drinkies are a sizeable cost that you two don’t have to carry alone – it’s not uncommon for couples to put in for a drink or two per guest before the wedding breakfast, a drink or two during and a glass of bubbly for the toasts, then open up the bar for the rest of the night and let everybody pay for their own.
Keep costs down by talking corkage with your venue and bringing your own bottles, or opting for less expensive beverages like house wine, and clinking glasses with Prosecco or Buck’s Fizz over straight champers. You could even wheel out your own big-day punch or cocktail – just make it with more juices than alcohol and stick to the affordable stuff.
Little Extras
We’ll get into this in the Style Details chapter, but for now I’ll just say that you need to keep an eye out for what’s included with your wedding package. Some venues will throw in tidbits like pretty chair covers – great if you can get them, but the question is, do you really want them? Unless their seating really ruins your theme or is all-out supremely hideous, at around £3 to £5 per chair on average, that’s another £300 to £500 for 100 people. Before you put your John (or Joanne) Hancock on anything, talk about ditching the bonus bits and trimming down the bottom line.
The same goes for stationery. It’s common for an all-in package to include bits like menus and place names. Ask to see samples, and find out how much of your quote they’ll be setting you back. If they do the job and they’re easy on your margins, go with them by all means, but scout out local printers beforehand to check you couldn’t get them cheaper – and more personalised – yourself.
Then there’s VAT. It’s not uncommon for venues to quote an off-their-head price that sounds spectacular until you realise they’re not counting the tax. Be clear on whether it’s included or you could end up with a bumper bill that’s due the week before your big day.
Beyond the Norm
If you’re open to suggestions for your reception venue, or you’re looking for somewhere quirky and so you, there are ways to nigh-on cancel all your hire costs. Remember: as long as you do the legal bit in a certified room or registry office, you can do the rest wherever you want.
At one particularly lovely wedding I went to, the bride and groom had the ceremony the week before, then on the day the bride’s dad acted as registrar. He read some of his own words while the bride and groom exchanged rings and said how they really felt in front of close friends and family. In case you’re wondering: not a dry eye in the house.
Whether you have the ceremony on the day or a more intimate get-together just before then, doing the ‘I do’s’ separately to dancing the night away blows your venue options wide open.
The Grand Theme of Things
So we’ve established that you can hold your reception wherever you want once the papers are signed – and that means a friend’s house or back garden if you happen to know someone with plenty of space, and even more patience. Remember though, if you throw your bash at a mate’s place or go with the marquee option you’ll usually have more choice of suppliers, but you have to be prepared to handpick them yourself – and to sort out the cleaning afterwards.
If you’d rather stick someone else with the washing up, don’t forget you can break out your first dance at any party venue. If you’re having trouble finding anything realistic when you Google ‘wedding venues’ in your area, swap in ‘party venues’ and see what happens.
You’d be surprised how many weird and wonderful places regularly set aside rooms for celebrations: aquaria; boats; cinemas – especially indie ones; courts (yes, you read that right); galleries; libraries; museums; sports clubs; theatres; tourist attractions; unis and colleges outside term time; zoos…
But there are even more options beyond those. Sometimes options neither you nor even the owner has ever thought of. At the end of the day, where you hold your do is about where you can negotiate hire of, even if they don’t normally do it.
How about a loft or apartment that’s available for short-term rental? There are all sorts of sites that offer up people’s homes in popular cities such as London or Edinburgh – just check with the homeowner whether it’s okay to bring a fair few friends back.
Then there are photo studios – they’re often up for hire for freelance photographers and can be great if you’re after a real blank canvas. Because they’re often owned by arty types, you can find some amazing buildings with exposed brick or beams for a cool, contemporary backdrop.
Wherever you find yourself, even if they don’t usually hire out to anyone at all, if you like the space and can see it transformed for your big day, what’s the harm in asking? You’ve got the best chance of getting a green light from the manager if you stick to these three simple rules:
1. The Time is Right
When is the place you’re pitching your wedding to likely to have quiet periods, and how can you capitalise on that? If you’re after a summer or weekend wedding, for example, try university or college buildings – they don’t have the student spend while they’re all back home working summer jobs, but you can bring in a few extra bucks.
If you’re happy to go with a weekday wedding, how about a wine bar on a quiet Monday night? Just remember, you’ll have to suss out a good time to get all your decs set up and your entertainment in – many places will let you get them sorted the night before, but check to avoid delays on the day.
2. What’s in it for Them?
If your off-piste venue serves food and drink, agree a minimum spend instead of a hire price. You’re bringing them 100 people who are planning on drinking from mid-afternoon into the night – you shouldn’t have to pay another £1,000 for the privilege. If they’re not that kind of outfit, it’s time to talk about hire prices. Shocking fact: these are likely to be lower in slow periods and higher in busy ones – well I never.
Alternatively, if they’re a smaller business, think about whether there’s a skill you can offer them – filmmakers, photographers or writers could do recordings, shots or copy for their PR purposes. Bloggers or tweeters with a decent following could promote or review them. It doesn’t even have to be you – maybe a willing family member could offer their services as your wedding present.
Whatever you agree on though, make sure you’re covered. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: ensure VAT is included in the price you’re quoted, and make sure you get yourself a contract in writing.
3. It’s Not the Size, It’s What You Do With It
This is just one reason why the size of your guest list counts: it alters your venue-spotting strategy. The best way to pin down an unusual place? Look for venues with that all-important separate hire space.
Let’s take restaurants as an example. If you’ve got a super-size group of, say, more than 100, you can try your luck with asking to hire out the whole place, but in some cases you’ll find they want you to cover the cost of all the custom they’d have got in and out of the door over the periods you want them for. That can mean – and I’d sit down here if I were you – as much as £10,000 or more if you want to hire them over lunch and dinner. For guest lists of that size, you’re better off looking at a bigger building to start off with – somewhere like a university that’s built for large numbers of people, and will have a big enough room just idly going spare.
Let’s call a medium group between 40 and 100. For this sort of size you’ve got the chance to downsize to the type of medium-to-small place that has a spare floor. Leaving downstairs free for other customers to come and go as they please means you won’t have to cover the costs of what they’d usually eat or drink, and places that haven’t been hired out for weddings before will be keener to help you if they don’t have to turn away regulars.
If you can keep your numbers intimate – in some cases as small as 10 or 15, or up to 50 to 70 if you’re lucky – you can simply hire a room. Plenty of eateries offer secluded dining areas for private parties where you can celebrate completely undisturbed, and since they rarely charge, an agreement RE food and drink spend should pretty much do the trick.
The only issue with this smallest option is entertainment – check with your venue about whether they’d be happy to clear out tables and chairs for dancing and mingling when you’re done eating, or whether they have the facilities for you to pipe in some of your own playlists. If not, can you bring your iPod and hook it up to a set of speakers? Or maybe you’ve got an unexpected way to while away the time in mind – stand-up comedy, close-up magic or a silhouette artist and some good old-fashioned conversation, anyone? Check out the Entertainment section for more ideas.
Crucial Money-Saving Questions
Take this check-list along to your venue and make sure you save maximum monies.
1. If we were to hold our wedding here in the next three months/on a weekday/off-peak, say, in winter, what discount could you offer us on the standard rate?
2. Is it possible for us to bring in our own food or caterers?
3. If not, what dining options do you offer besides the three-course wedding breakfast? Is it possible to substitute that for a buffet/barbecue/hog roast/afternoon tea?
4. If not, could we serve the canapés in place of our starter, or our wedding cake in place of dessert?
5. Would you be averse to us setting up our own additional sweetie/potato/sandwich bar before the wedding breakfast/as the wedding breakfast/later in the evening?
6. Is it possible for us to bring in our own drinks, and if so, what do you charge for corkage?
7. If not, what would our costs per head look like if we served house wine instead of the more expensive selections, and Prosecco/Buck’s Fizz instead of champagne?
8. What is included with our package? Is it possible to remove the stationery/chair covers/other smaller details and reduce the price?
9. Do you have the facilities for us to use an iPod or other MP3 player for music later in the evening, or would we need to bring in a band/DJ?
10. Do you have a list of preferred suppliers who might be willing to offer us a preferential rate if we book with you?
11. Is VAT included with all the costs you’ve quoted?
Chapter 3
The Dress (#ue6b9f003-1ade-5319-af0e-478647d2bbcd)
Designer, high-street or affordable W-day brand – you can afford your dream gown
If you’ve ever stood in front of a full-length bridal shop mirror, all clipped and pulled in all the right places, with your mum, sister and best friends nodding encouragingly as you gaze at the perfect fit of your dream dress, then unless you’re reading this section for a bit of fun I’m guessing you know the heartbreak of being handed that tiny bit of paper with more noughts on than a Stateside catwalk.
But hold back the tears, ladies. You can feel that beautiful again. In a dress that’s actually in your price range this time. It might be a dress with a designer label in the back of it, or one you’ve just been handed by the seamstress who stitched it to your exact measurements. It might arrive at your door hand-delivered and wrapped in tissue paper, or you might find it the traditional way – jumping up and down in your friendly neighbourhood bridal boutique.
There are plenty of ways to look amazing on your big day without selling your engagement ring to pay for it – all you have to do is keep an open mind, and pick the method that suits you best.
Before You Start
There are a few pointers that apply to almost every place you look for a dress, and they’re worth considering if you want to maximise the luxe without paying out the megabucks.
First, the length. It’s a general trend you’ll notice that shorter gowns tend to be cheaper. Whether it’s just because they use less fabric or because longer wedding dresses are more popular by tradition, if you can get away with a shorter dress – maybe at a low-key registry office wedding, on a summer day, or if a Fifties theme is your cup of tea – you’ll often end up with a totally gorgeous gown for a much more purse-friendly price.
Second, the simplicity. Keeping your dream dress simple opens up more options for how to get hold of it, as you’ll see in the rest of the chapter. But you’ll also find that a clean-cut satin dress that’s not all ruffles, lace and embellishment is often less expensive than something more full-on, even straight off the hanger – and you can understand it: more materials and more labour are needed to get a glitzier gown spot-on, and that’s reflected in the cost.
Third, the colour. White, cream or ivory are of course the most popular swatches for your average I-doer. And yes, there is a difference between the three, as you’ll be told over and over during your dress-shopping escapades. But blush shades have been creeping onto bridal catwalks for years – often light pinks, peaches and lilacs. Wedding maven Vera Wang has even sent dresses in deep reds, browns and black down her catwalk. Going for a shade less travelled is a fantastic way to open up all kinds of doors to a tinier bridalwear budget, as you’ll see below. The question is: do you dare?
The Traditional Route
If you’re finding there’s nothing within your budget in any of the bridal shops, trust me: it’s them, not you. There are a lot of boutiques that stock dresses within a particular price range – £1,500 to £2,500 isn’t uncommon – but there are great designers who pride themselves on creating beautiful bridal gowns at affordable prices.
The trick is to do three things: ask your boutique on the phone what their price range is before you even book the appointment; ask them to only show you dresses within your budget on the day; and know your designers, so you can spot the names that don’t mean uninviting your groom’s whole side of the family.
Prices will vary by individual dress, so it’s still worth asking your boutique to limit what you try on to your preferred numbers, but in general, the below labels create a whole lot of chic styles for around £500 or less.
Alfred Angelo
Most of Alfred Angelo’s gowns are classic or princess. They’re even behind the Disney Fairy Tale Brides Collection – all dresses styled to suit Ariels, Belles, Cinderellas and co. They’re also the place to go if you want to give your white gown a twist: they pride themselves on their Dream in Colour range, where bodices, trains and hemlines come in 50 different shades to tie in with your colour scheme.
David’s Bridal
David’s have been tearing it up on the other side of the Atlantic for yonks – which is why I’m so psyched they’ve finally touched down over here. You’ll hear a lot of talk about these guys – names like Vera Wang and Zac Posen get bandied about since they’ve worked on ‘affordable’ collections with David’s – but keep in mind that what’s a bargain to your average platinum-card-waving follower of designer fashion doesn’t always fit into that bracket for the rest of us.
I’ll level with you: I’ve seen Vera Wang dresses here from £675 – no doubt more-than-nice workmanship if you can get it, and yes, a total steal if you’re used to the £4,000 to £18,000 she’s been known to charge. Last time I looked there were a few Wang gowns here under the £1,000-mark, but they also went up as high as £1,650, so you had to be careful not to have your bank balance stolen as well as your heart.
Mostly for £500-minus you’re better off with the less name-droppy brands. Galina, for one: think elegant full-length gowns in modern-romantic styles; mostly strapless, often lace, always gorgeous. Then there’s the signature David’s Bridal Collection: trad-with-a-touch-of-something looks; the simpler the dress, the more likely to fall under our price range. DB Studio are modern and daring – often going for the short or sophis markets – and I’ve seen prices start as low as £80. Last but not least, David’s Bridal Woman is worth a look for sizes 18 – 30; expect plenty of flattering trad styles and occasional seriously cute retro-chic.
Ellis Bridals
Ellis have been going for more than 100 years, so there’s no doubt they’re doing something right. Again, you can expect a lot of classic cuts – A-line and fuller skirts, lace and sweethearts – but I’ve also seen them put out one or two quirkier styles, including a blush peach look and a Fifties rock ‘n’ roll hemline.
Eternity Bride
Quite a lot of classics here, but some simpler styles thrown into the pot, and a healthy dose of spectacle in black lace and inky blue numbers – plus, there’s even a collection made especially for larger ladies. A real mixed bag, Eternity is likely to be a Marmite experience: some of their dresses will be the opposite of what you’re after, and some you’ll totally love – but it only takes one to get it right.
Impression Bridal
Fans of the ruffle, rejoice! Impression Bridal has them in all cuts, shapes and sizes. There are some slimmer gowns – think sheath with a sexy side split – but for the most part brides who aren’t fans of froth need not apply.
Kitty & Dulcie
Magazine editors are constantly in awe of the price of these super-cute retro- and vintage-style gowns. The capsule collection of Fifties tea dresses and full-length lacy Twenties looks is too gorgeous to betray the price tag – which is generally around £250 and up.
Minna
Not only are Minna dresses a boho bride’s dream come true – think swingy, loose, relaxed styles with lace and tiers, often long-sleeved or off-the-shoulder – they’re by an award-winning designer who’s often splashed across the pages of Elle and Vogue, and they’re all ethical and sustainable. Not that you’d ever guess it to look at them – why aren’t all dresses this heart-warming?
Are you ready for this? Gowns on the site have been known to go for as unbelievably little as… £155!
Pronovias
There’s a real range of prices here, but as a baseline Pronovias bridal gowns tend to start around the £1,000 mark. For a showstopper that’s closer to our £500 ideal, opt for their cocktail dresses in shades such as ivory, blush pink, peach and dusky purple. Expect a variety of styles and shapes that all ooze class and true glamour – think delicate sequin and beadwork, simple satin belts and even striking modern ruffles, mostly in slim or swishy styles.
Pure Bridal
Pure’s small selection covers most of the essential shapes and styles – skirts full and slender, hems above and below the knee, strapless, one-shoulder and halter – and yes, it does it simply and effectively. They even throw in a few wildcards with unusual colouring and appliqués, just for good measure.
Tobi Hannah
Tobi Hannah’s standard collection is seriously retro cool – think knee-length Sixties shifts and Fifties tea dresses with a modern twist. But it’s also that rare thing: a higher hemline at a bigger price – expect to pay about £1,200 to £1,800 a pop. Don’t despair, though – the limited Alive! collection is talking our language: the short and tea length dresses are real one-offs, vary in size from 8 to 20 and are priced around just £600 to £800.
Best for: All sorts of wedding styles, but if you’re a traditional ruffles-and-big-skirt bride in particular, I’d say this is the best route for you.
Sample Sales
If you really have to have a dress by a more expensive bridalwear designer, one way to save as much as 70% is in a sample sale. Most wedding shops have these a couple of times a year, when the dresses they stock for brides-to-be to try on are sold to make way for new collections – but some have ongoing samples for sale, so it’s worth giving stockists of labels you love a quick call to find out.
Depending on the shop, you may need to sharpen your elbows at sale time – some offer appointments, many it’s first come, first served, and occasionally it’s a free-for-all – but you’ll definitely need to be organised, patient and willing to be decisive.
The top tip I can give you? Turn up early. Bribe your maid of honour with coffee if you have to, but being first in line is the number one way to find that dress for hundreds of pounds less. They’re sold as seen, on the spot, so if you’re not at the front of the queue, every bride-to-be who turns up before you could walk away with your dream dress before you even get a look-in.
Bear in mind sizings, too. A lot of boutiques stock samples either in average sizes (10 to 14) or in large ones they can clip and tug smaller on each bride. Occasionally you’ll find ones that sell sixes and eights, but they tend to be less common. While it might seem like a clever plan to buy big and have your dress slimmed down, some styles can lose shape and detailing if they’re tailored too far. Your best bet? Ask the boutique owner before you buy – you might even be able to agree a price for her to fit it for you.
Best for: Brides who have fallen in love with a bridalwear designer who’s out of their price range. Sample sales are especially good for brides of average or larger sizes, but it really depends on what the particular boutique stocks.
High-Street Bridalwear
It might not be as glamorous as a bridal boutique when you’re trying on your wedding dress in the next fitting room to a girl pulling on a pair of jeans, but believe me, it’s worth it – some of the high-street brands we know and love have gone to the trouble to design dresses that really are worth coveting.
I’ll be straight with you: try on a £2,000 Ritva Westenius goddess gown and your high-street dress isn’t going to feel as sumptuous. Meanwhile, if you’re after full-on ruffle-mania you might even do better with a standard bridal boutique. But if you’ve set your sights on a fun, chic style that can be seriously elegant, since these labels often come in at less than £300, you really can’t go wrong.
BHS
Styles are mostly simple and classic with a modern finish. In the past I’ve seen longer and fuller gowns at about £125 to £495, while shorter or simpler gowns – including a Pippa Middleton lookalike with cowl neck – have sold for around £80 to £175. And a little bird tells me you can expect even more affordable dresses from here on in…
Coast
