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He blinked and eased forward, cupping her face with one strong, warm hand. “You could never be a burden to me, Tessa. If I didn’t want you here I could’ve taken you to the main house, to Cassie’s or back to your own home. I want you here so I can watch over you, and I want you here because something is building between us and I refuse to ignore it.”
Inching forward, Grant placed his lips softly on hers. “As for scaring me, if you ever do that again I’m going to hack into your computer and delete all your saved spreadsheets.”
Tessa laughed, reaching over to smack his shoulder. “You wouldn’t dare.”
He eased back with a half grin. “Maybe not, but when you fell...there are no words, but I’ll never forget that feeling.”
He glanced aside, almost as if he was trying to compose himself. Had he truly been that scared, that worried for her? This wasn’t the first time she’d seen the stark fear in his eyes when it came to horses. That first day they’d met he’d acted concerned for her safety.
“Hey,” she said, waiting for him to turn back to her. “I’ve been riding since I got out of diapers, Slick. That wasn’t my first fall and it won’t be my last. Yes, it sucks, but sometimes it just happens.”
Raking a hand down his face, Grant sighed and came to his feet. “Why don’t you finish your dinner, and I’ll go find you some more comfortable clothes to sleep in.”
“What about you?” she asked. “You haven’t had dinner.”
“Honestly, my nerves are shot. I couldn’t eat if I wanted to.”
With that revelation, he walked away. Obviously, her fall had torn him up in ways she never would’ve imagined. When she’d been lying on the ground and he’d been at her side, his face had been so pale, his eyes so wide as he’d tried to take in her entire body at once, assessing the damage.
At the E.R., he’d been forceful and matter-of-fact with the staff, almost demanding that she stay overnight for observation. The doctor had assured Grant that since she’d never lost consciousness, she would be fine to go home as long as someone watched her.
So here she was, being watched by a man who made her tingle with a simple touch, who kissed her as if she was the only desirable woman in the world, and who had her rethinking her reasons for remaining innocent.
This should be an interesting night.
Ten (#u69b6edb5-ba8e-58d8-8726-83cba9e35667)
“Melanie!”
Fear consumed him, bile rose in his throat as the scene before him unfolded.
Screams filled the evening, the thundering of hooves seemed to be in surround sound, and all Grant could do was look on as his twin sister held on to the out-of-control mare.
Their parents and the trainer all shouted commands, running after them, but Grant, still atop his own horse, could only stare from behind.
He’d done this. All in the name of a joke and a dare, he’d put Melanie in danger.
The shrill sound coming from his sister jolted him out of his horrified, frozen state, and he kicked his mount into gear and charged after them. He had to do something, had to rectify this somehow. Fear fueled him, while adrenaline blocked out all the possibilities of what might happen if that animal threw her.
He leaned into his horse, kicking his flank once again to move faster.
But it was too late. Melanie’s mare saw Grant’s coming in fast, and bucked, sending Melanie off the back. She landed with a jarring, sickening thud.
As he jumped off his horse and his parents and the trainer gathered around, Grant knew things had gone from bad to worse and hell was opening up to swallow him.
His beautiful, talented, always smiling twin sister wasn’t moving....
Grant jerked up in bed, the sheet twisted around his waist, sweat dampening his forehead, his chest.
Damn. That nightmare hadn’t made an appearance in so long, and he could’ve gone the rest of his life without having that dream.
There wasn’t a day that went by when he didn’t relive that life-altering moment. But the dreams...they were all too real and obviously the penance for his sin.
Grant swung his feet over the side of the bed, yanking the sheet off. He needed fresh air, some water, and he should probably check on Tessa.
Tessa. No doubt the events of today had brought on the nightmare. Because he’d been just as terrified seeing Tessa on the out-of-control stallion and then her fall...
Raking a hand over his face, Grant came to his feet and padded to the kitchen, careful to be quiet as he crept past Tessa’s door. He’d insisted she keep it open in case she needed to call him for anything. She’d fought him a little on the matter, but Grant had refused to back down.
After he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a long drink, he set it on the counter, walked toward the patio and opened the door, welcoming the crisp night air. The refreshing breeze cooled his heated skin and calmed him, but that damn nightmare and images of today still rolled over and over in his mind.
Nothing was as nauseating, as horrifying or as crippling as watching someone you cared for caught in a helpless situation, and knowing there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it.
But unlike Tessa’s situation, Grant had caused his twin’s. His beautiful sister could’ve been killed. Sometimes he wondered if death would’ve been better than being a paraplegic.
“You okay?”
He turned, finding Tessa standing in the shadows. His T-shirt hit her midthigh, leaving beautifully toned legs revealed.
“I’m fine,” he answered, turning back to the starry night, silently willing her to go away.
He couldn’t keep looking at her, not when his emotions were so high and his heart was still in his throat.
And not when he’d just admitted to himself he was starting to care for her more than he thought he would. There was no way he could keep all his emotions separated now. More penance for his sins.
“Sorry if I woke you,” he told her. “I was going to check on you in a minute.”
Bare feet padded along the hardwood floors, and Grant clenched his fists as Tessa came to stand beside him. Her sweet jasmine scent mixed with the cool night air and surrounded him.
He hated how vulnerable he was. Hated how his need for her consumed him.
Turn back. Turn back before I take what I want.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked, her soft voice washing over him.
Sparing her a glance, he shook his head. “You should be in bed.”
“I feel fine,” she insisted, reaching out a delicate hand to grip his bare biceps. “What’s keeping you up?”
Songs of crickets flooded the night, and Grant couldn’t find the words. Right now he couldn’t even think, given his vortex of emotions. Her fall, her nearness...her virginity.
“I guess I’m just still keyed up after today’s excitement.”
“Is that why I heard you cry out in your sleep a few minutes ago?”
Grant jerked around, causing her hand to drop. When she said nothing more, only crossed her arms over her chest, he muttered a curse and raked his fingers through his hair.
“I used to have nightmares,” he admitted, not going into further detail. “I had one tonight. It’s no big deal.”
Bright blue eyes studied him for a moment before she spoke. “They must be a big deal if this is an ongoing thing, Grant. Have you talked to anybody about them?”
“Like a shrink?” He laughed. “No. I’m fine.”
Her gaze slid over his bare chest, then back up. She might as well have touched him with her soft fingertips because the effect was the same. His body responded, and there was nothing he could do to stop the heavy dose of arousal that kicked into high gear...as if he needed his hormones to bump up a notch.
“You should get back to bed,” he told her, silently begging her to get her barely covered butt out of here before he forgot how delicate and innocent she truly was.
If she only knew the control she held over him...
“I want to help you.” Stepping forward, she slid that delicate hand back up his arm and over the curve of his bare shoulder. “You may not want to talk about the dream, but I can stay up with you so you’re not alone.”
Grant’s control snapped as he grabbed Tessa’s slender shoulders and backed her up two steps to the frame of the patio door. Her eyes widened as she peered up at him.
“It’s best I’m alone right now,” he growled. “I want things I shouldn’t, and my mood isn’t the best. Go to your room, Tessa.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she brought up her hands to cup his face. “You don’t scare me, Grant. Whatever you’re dealing with, I can help.”
“I may not scare you, but right now I sure as hell scare myself.”
Closing the slim gap between them, Grant crushed her lips to his. Her soft hands slipped around to grip the back of his neck, her fingers threading through his hair.
Why didn’t she listen? He wanted her, more than any other woman before. If she’d just gone back to her room... Granted, he’d given her about a minute’s warning, but damn, she was here in his house and barely dressed in the middle of the night. And he had all these emotions whirling around. This was so much more than lust, and it was so much more than sex that he wanted from her.
But damn it, he couldn’t let himself get too personally involved.
Grant tried to deepen the kiss, but she beat him to it. He wanted to apply more pressure, but again she was ahead of him.
Obviously, she wasn’t scared of the desperation in his touch, and she sure as hell wasn’t scared of the warning he’d issued to her.
On one hand he was thrilled she hadn’t gone back to her room, but on the other he worried he wouldn’t be able to stop. The need for her clawed at him, consumed him.
Tearing his mouth from hers, he kissed a path down her throat. Her body arched into his as she groaned, giving him another reason to progress. When his fingers found the hem of the T-shirt, he slid his hands up beneath the cotton, finding soft, smooth skin and satiny panties.
He dipped one fingertip inside the snug elastic, needing more, silently questioning where the boundaries were.
A soft cry came from her lips as Grant lifted his mouth away. Resting his forehead against hers, he ran his fingers over her, nearly falling to his knees when her hips bumped against his hand.
With that silent invitation, he eased into her warmth, taking every bit of passion she was allowing. The fine line of control had snapped the moment she’d come to him, wanting to save him from himself. He couldn’t be saved, but he could give pleasure, and right now that’s all he had in him.
“Grant.”
Her whispered plea had him claiming her mouth once again as his hand continued to pleasure her. She gripped his shoulders and her body jerked.
“Let go, Tessa,” he all but growled against her lips.
And as if she’d been holding on to that same thin line of control, her body stilled against his and she cried out, her fingernails biting into the bare flesh of his shoulders.
With her head thrown back against the door frame, her eyes squeezed tight and her mouth parted, she looked every bit the vixen he knew he could uncover.
When he removed his hand and stepped closer to slide his arms around her, he felt Tessa’s entire body tremble, out of arousal or fear, he wasn’t sure. She was an innocent, and he had her backed against a door frame like a horny teen who couldn’t control himself. And he’d just taken a portion of her passion and used it, technically, to make himself feel better. She’d gotten too close to his hidden shame, and he’d opted to turn the tables, so to speak, and take what he wanted. Okay, not all he wanted, but enough that he knew he was a jerk.
So he stepped back.
Panting, her lips still moist and swollen from his touch, Tessa didn’t look like a virgin, and he wanted her even more. Wanted her in his bed, spread all around him, so he could show her just how good they’d be together. But he also had to be realistic and not just a selfish ass.
“Go back to bed.”
“Grant.” She started to reach for him and he stepped back again, ignoring the flash of hurt in her eyes.
“Go, Tessa, before I ignore your innocence and take what I truly want.”
A lone tear slid down her cheek as she blinked, then turned and walked quietly back to the guest room. Grant groaned and leaned against the door frame.
That damn tear was like a knife straight to his heart. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but if he’d taken what she was offering, she’d be even more hurt in the long run.
A woman like Tessa wanted more out of a man than just a fling. She wanted marriage, a family. And he wanted those things, too, but not in this world she lived in.
He’d kept the hurt and guilt in a separate compartment in his heart for so long, but being around Tessa allowed each and every emotion to flood to the surface.
He truly thought he could keep his mind focused on work, had convinced himself he was ready to take on a film that would make him face his demons.
But after today’s events, he knew he’d only been lying to himself.
In a few months he’d be leaving, and as much as he wanted Tessa, he knew even if they came to mean more to each other, neither of them would give up the life they so loved.
So he needed to keep his damn hands and lips off her, because she was getting harder and harder to resist. No matter how much he was coming to care for her, giving up what he’d worked for wasn’t an option. He wouldn’t give up his life in L.A. He’d worked too hard for his career.
Besides, he had run fast and far from the world of horses years ago.
Filming that world was one thing, but living in it would be pure hell. Especially now that he knew exactly what it felt like to have Tessa come apart.
Grant clenched his hand and slammed it against the doorjamb. How the hell did he undo that mental image? How did he expect to work with her and not want her even more?
* * *
When Grant woke the next morning, Tessa was gone and there was no sign she’d ever been there. Nothing less than what he deserved after his adolescent behavior.
He walked by her room, noting the perfectly made bed. Everything was back to the way it had been before she’d spent the night.
Grant walked into the room and spotted the T-shirt she’d slept in. It was neatly folded and lying atop the antique trunk at the end of the bed.
And because he was all alone, he lifted the garment to his face and inhaled her sweet scent.
He’d had his hands on her last night, had her trembling beneath him. She could’ve been his in every way.
But at what cost?
That damn clause prevented him from getting too involved, though he’d probably already crossed that line when he’d been feeling her bare chest and had slipped his hand inside her damp panties. But he knew Tessa would keep their secret rendezvous to herself.
