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“Can Chester sleep with me tonight?”
“No, Kenny, he can’t. You know the rules.” Matt rose from the table and carried his plate to the sink. He had only one option. Ellen Bower. If she turned him down, he’d be forced to look into a professional child-care service. Not something he felt comfortable doing.
“Okay, you two. Time to clean up the kitchen.”
“Daddy, now that we know that lady, can I have cookies if she asks?”
Matt gritted his teeth. He didn’t want his kids getting too chummy with Shelby. But then, he probably didn’t need to worry. Whatever her reason for coming home, Dover couldn’t hold her attention for long. She’d run back to her all-important career after a few days.
“I guess that would be all right. But I’m sure Miss Russell will be very busy. You probably won’t see her much.”
Kenny frowned. “But I like her. She likes Chester.” He bent down and hugged the dog’s neck.
Matt exhaled a huff of irritation. His son liked Shelby. It must be some sort of weird gene in the Durrant family that drew them to her. His father and brother had liked her, too. Fifteen years ago, Matt had been engaged to her. For twenty-four hours.
“Okay, kids, finish up your chores and then you can watch television while I run next door for a few minutes.”
“Are you going to say hello to Miss Shelby?” Cassidy’s smile reflected her delight.
“No. I have to see if Miss Ellen can watch you after school from now on.”
Cassidy emptied her glass into the sink. “Why can’t Aunt Laura stay with us?”
“She’s going to be working out of town.” Matt pointed at Kenny. “You make sure you feed Chester and give him fresh water.”
Matt made his way to the front door, mentally battling with his emotions. It would be easy to pick up the phone, call Ellen and avoid seeing Shelby. But his little sister was right about one thing. Trying to ignore Shelby, act like she wasn’t right next door, was childish.
A small voice inside warned him about being near Shelby. She’d always had a powerful effect on him. She’d made him feel strong and protective. He shoved the thought aside. He was a grown man. Not a lovesick college kid.
He’d speak to Ellen, acknowledge Shelby’s presence then come home. Besides, this wasn’t about him. He had to protect his kids. His children had spent only a few minutes with her and she’d already cast her spell over them. With Shelby right next door, his kids would likely grow deeply attached, and then what would happen when she skipped town without warning? Broken hearts, that’s what. He couldn’t let that happen. She needed to understand how emotionally vulnerable Kenny and Cassidy were since their mother’s death. All he was asking was that she keep her distance for the few days she was here. It wasn’t an unreasonable request. Merely a “good fences make good neighbors” conversation. Setting some boundaries. That’s all.
Cassidy stuck her head out the front door. “Will you tell Miss Shelby I said hi?”
Matt nodded and set his jaw. Okay, maybe a wall instead of a fence. “Will do.”
* * *
Shelby closed her laptop with a firm snap and shoved away from the dining room table. Trying to work was useless. She couldn’t get Matt’s image out of her mind. She’d stood on the porch earlier immobilized, watching as Matt turned his back and walked away. His message loud and clear. They had nothing to say to one another.
Her insides burned with the rejection. What had she expected? That he’d be glad to see her? She’d run out on him. Told him he wasn’t good enough. Her conscience stung when she remembered her cruel words to him that night. She had been so arrogant, so disdainful of what she perceived as his lack of ambition. How could she make him understand that breaking their engagement was the hardest thing she’d ever done? But he was the one who had reneged on all their dreams. She’d had no choice.
She stood and went to the kitchen and searched for something to munch. A bowl of apples sat on the counter. Common sense told her to eat one. A healthy choice. What she wanted was chocolate.
Closing her eyes, she fought the urge to look out the window at Matt’s house, hungry for another glimpse of him. He was even more handsome than she’d remembered. Age had broadened his shoulders, deepened his chest and chiseled the planes of his face. There was a masculine confidence in his bearing that couldn’t be ignored. And the gentle, tender heart she’d fallen in love with was displayed in the unabashed love of his children.
Matt had been everything she’d ever wanted in a man.
She opened her eyes, staring across the drive. Part of her longed to see him coming toward the house to—what? Say all was forgiven? Let’s start over? But another part of her hoped he would stay on his side of the driveway and ignore her for the remainder of her stay. Confronting him would be too painful, no matter the outcome.
Her conscience stung again. Gramma was right. Avoiding conflict was one of her biggest faults. She was avoiding her illness, avoiding making the changes she needed. And now, hoping to avoid Matt.
Forcing herself to move, Shelby picked up an apple and took a bite, her mind bursting with questions. How had he come to live next door, and what had he been doing all these years? Obviously he’d married and had children. What was his wife like? Was it someone she knew from school? What about the Handy Works van? Was that what he did for a living? It would make sense. His father owned the hardware store where they’d met. She had noticed a large pickup in the drive as well, but it was gone now. Apparently he’d followed in his father’s footsteps.
Movement outside the window caught her attention. She froze. Matt. He was coming over. “No. Not now. I’m not ready. I can’t deal with this right now.” She held her breath, watching him come across the drive. She could still see the young man she remembered in his slow, easy gait. The male grace he’d displayed as a young man was still evident. The years had done little to diminish his attractiveness. She turned away, her stomach in knots, flinching when the knock on the door echoed through the house. He was coming to demand an answer for her breaking their engagement. What would she say? I ran because I was afraid I’d never get out of this place if I didn’t?
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and lost her breath. He didn’t look like the father of two. With his square-jawed good looks and athletic physique, he could have graced the cover of any magazine. His dark brown hair still lay in waves across his head. The cobalt-blue eyes with their thick lashes were still compelling and magnetic. The only thing missing was his smile. She doubted if she’d ever see that again. She cleared her throat, searching desperately for her voice.
“Hello, Shelby.”
“Hey.” It was all she could squeak out past the lump in her throat.
Shelby motioned him inside. He nodded and stepped over the threshold. She closed the door behind him, struggling to maintain a casual attitude while ignoring the tantalizing smell of his aftershave.
“I had no idea you lived next door.” She forced a smile. “It was a surprise seeing you drive up today.”
Matt frowned. “Ellen didn’t tell you?”
“No, but then she never knew we...” She faltered. “Gramma and Grandpa were on a mission trip the summer we dated.”
He nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Her heart pounded so fiercely she wondered if he could hear it. Now that he was here, all she wanted was to get it over with. “Would you like to sit down?”
“No. I need to talk to Ellen. Is she here?”
Shelby’s tension deflated like a punctured balloon. Matt wasn’t here to see her at all. She should have been relieved, but instead she swallowed a large gulp of disappointment. “She’s not here at the moment, but I expect her home anytime. You’re welcome to wait.”
Matt’s jaw worked side to side a moment, as if gauging his next words.
“How long are you staying?”
She blinked. That wasn’t the question she’d anticipated. Apparently he was going to get right to the point. Fine. She could take it. Raising her chin, she crossed her arms over her chest and faced him. Matt’s blue gaze pierced through her. Blue eyes exactly like Cassidy’s. Now she knew why they’d seemed so familiar. “Six weeks or so. My schedule is flexible.”
Matt planted his hands on his hips. A smirk curved one corner of his mouth upward. “Six whole weeks. You sure you won’t get bored so far from the big city? We pull in the sidewalk around seven, remember?”
“Yes. I remember.” Her heart burned. He was throwing her words from long ago back in her face.
“I’m sure you do. So, what brings you back to the small-town life?”
She ignored the flash of pain his sarcasm inflicted. “I had time accrued that I needed to use, and I wanted to spend time with Gramma.”
“Can the corporate world survive without you?”
She lifted her chin. He was really getting under her skin with his sour attitude. “It’s the wireless age, Matt. I can do my work from anywhere. Have laptop will travel. Clouds and smart phones are our friends. You do have those things here in your small town, don’t you?”
“I know all about working from home.”
“Really? So the world of hammers and nails is high tech now?” Her condescending words sent a hot rush of remorse along her nerves. She hadn’t meant to handle their meeting this way, as if she were eighteen and scared and confused. She’d wanted to face him as a highly successful, competent woman of the world.
“I don’t work at the store anymore, Shelby. That’s my father’s job.”
There was a low, threatening undercurrent to his tone that scraped against her nerves. She ignored it. “So you have your own handyman business now? I saw the van when you drove up.”
Matt’s eyes darkened, and he shifted his weight slightly as if trying to control himself. “I only do that part-time. You know how we small-town guys are. We work as little as possible so we have more time to hunt and fish. We’re not very ambitious.”
Shelby cringed at hearing her own words taunting her. So much for putting on a front. Being face-to-face with him hurt more than she’d ever imagined. “Matt, please...”
The sound of a car pulling in the drive meant Gramma was back. Her chance to escape. “I’ll let Gramma know you’re here.” Quickly she moved through the hall and into the kitchen, meeting Ellen as she opened the door. “Why didn’t you tell me Matt Durrant lived next door to you?”
Ellen blinked in surprise. “I didn’t think you’d care.”
“I don’t. I mean, it was a surprise, that’s all.”
Gramma came into the kitchen, a puzzled frown marring her brow. “What difference could that make to you?”
“Because we were—” She hesitated, gauging her words. “We knew each other in school.”
Gramma shook her head. “I don’t understand. What does that have to do with anything?”
Shelby exhaled an exasperated grunt. There was no way she could make Gramma understand without going into the grim details of her past relationship with Matt, and she wasn’t ready to deal with that right now. “Never mind. He’s here. He wants to talk to you.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Gramma set her purse and a small sack of groceries on the counter, then strode toward the living room. Shelby followed slowly behind, stopping at the archway and leaning against the side. The more distance between her and Matt the better.
“Hello, Matt. You wanted to talk to me?”
Shelby listened as Matt quickly outlined the situation. Apparently he was in dire need of a babysitter. Something about all-day classes and needing help after school. What that had to do with a handyman business she didn’t know. She had to wonder where the mother was. Out of town perhaps?
“Oh dear, I don’t know. I’m so busy with my church work and the hospital. I hate to turn you down but...” Ellen turned to Shelby and smiled. “I have it. Shelby and I can both watch them. We’ll be like a tag team. When I’m volunteering she can fill in. It’s the perfect solution.”
Shelby couldn’t believe her ears. It took her a full second to find her voice. “What? No. I can’t. I mean—” She glanced over at Matt, who looked as horrified by the idea as she did.
“No. I mean, I wouldn’t dream of imposing on your granddaughter while she’s visiting. I’m sure I can work something out.”
Ellen waved off his concerns. “What are neighbors for? When do we start?”
Matt shifted his weight. “Tomorrow afternoon, but...” Gramma’s landline suddenly rang, breaking the tension in the room. “Oh, I’d better get that. That’ll be fine, Matt. I’m free in the afternoon. Send the children over here when they get off the bus.” Ellen waved at Matt and hurried toward the other room, leaving Shelby alone with Matt again.
Shelby searched for something to say. “Matt, I—”
“You met my kids.” His tone was flat and cool.
Shelby nodded, mentally scurrying to regain her footing at his abrupt change of subject. “They’re adorable. I like their dog, too.” She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of them. “They were very well-behaved. Cassidy politely refused my offer of cookies because she didn’t know me. You and your wife should be proud. You’ve done a wonderful job with them.”
Matt paled. His eyes turned dark and cold. “My wife died three years ago.”
She gasped. “Oh, Matt. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” He pinned her with a cold blue glare.
“My kids have been through a lot. They’re emotionally vulnerable and they tend to give their hearts too easily. I don’t want those hearts broken by a stranger passing through town.”
Stranger? Was that how he thought of her now? Before she could respond, he turned and walked to the door.
He stopped, looking over his shoulder. “Do we understand each other?”
There was a warning in his tone that was impossible to miss—stay away from my children. She nodded, stunned and dazed. The door closed behind him with a sharp pop, like a bullet to her heart.
* * *
Matt strode across the driveway. He shouldn’t have gone to Ellen’s. He should have called. He thought he’d been prepared to face Shelby again, but he’d been wrong. From the moment she’d opened the door he’d been rattled. She looked even more amazing up close, as fresh and lovely as he’d remembered. Her nearness had released a kaleidoscope of memories he didn’t want to explore. There was so much he’d wanted to say, to ask, but nothing would change the past. Nothing would explain away the wound she’d inflicted.
At the edge of the driveway, he stopped, casting his eyes upward briefly. Ellen’s solution to his babysitting problem had blindsided him. He had wanted to turn her down flat, shout that he didn’t want Shelby close to his kids. The last thing he needed was for his kids to form an attachment to Shelby, because when she left, and she would leave, the kids would lose another close relationship. He wouldn’t let that happen. But he’d been trapped. Ellen was his only option.
If only Katie were here. She’d know how to handle this. But if she were, there would be no need. He’d have his wife back, his kids would have their mom and he wouldn’t feel like he was constantly treading water just to survive.
As he walked past the Handy Works van, the words written on the side panel caught his attention. Showing God’s Grace. He stopped. Remorse surged through him. He hadn’t shown any grace to Shelby just now. He’d been curt, rude and unfeeling. Not the way he’d intended it to go. Or was it?
His conscience faulted him for being harsh and judgmental, but his heart told him he had to protect his kids from people like Shelby. People who turned their backs on the things in life that really mattered. He owed her an apology for his bad attitude but not for his position. As far as he was concerned, she was a stranger passing through. Nothing more.
Matt set his jaw and strode past the van toward the house. Shelby had assumed he had a handyman business. He should have expected that. She’d called him “a small-town man with small-town dreams.” He’d started to explain, then changed his mind. Let her believe whatever she wanted.
All that mattered was protecting the hearts of his children.
* * *
Shelby stared at the closed door, struggling to breathe through the thickness in her throat. She’d imagined her reunion with Matt in a thousand different ways, but never like that. She knew she’d hurt him when she’d broken their brief engagement, and she’d expected him to be angry. But the man who had walked out of the house wasn’t the gentle, tender boy she remembered. He was a fierce, protective guardian warning her to keep her distance from his children.
He’d made his opinion of her crystal clear. He had never forgiven her for what she’d done. She couldn’t blame him. She’d turned her back on everything he cared about. Belittled his beliefs and his dreams. She sank into a kitchen chair, fighting tears. “Small-town man with small-town dreams.”
How many times had she longed to take back her angry words? She wanted to explain to him how she’d felt that night fifteen years ago. How scared and confused she’d been. They’d had plans to go to college, to escape the backward life of Dover. But the day after he’d given her the ring, he’d changed. Instead of talking about their dreams for the future, he’d talked about settling down, staying in Dover. She’d felt betrayed. He’d said he wanted the same things she did, but apparently a ring on her finger had erased all that. Her mother’s dire warning was coming true. She’d said that ring only meant one thing, that Matt would expect her to give up her dreams for his. “You’ll be trapped here just like me.” She hadn’t wanted to believe her mother was right, but at that moment, it had seemed all too true.
It had all been so clear to her then. Either marry Matt and spend the rest of her life in a choked-off life in Mississippi or run like crazy toward college and her dreams of working on a magazine. Only one course of action had made sense. Run. It had been a matter of survival. And she’d achieved her dream. She stood at the top of her field. Though for how much longer, she didn’t know.
But at the moment she had a more urgent concern. Gramma was setting the table when she entered the kitchen. “Gramma, I can’t babysit Matt’s kids.”
“You aren’t, sweetie. I am. You’ll be my backup. It’ll be fun. They are darling kids. You’ll love them.”
“I met them this afternoon while you were gone. Their dog came over.”
“Aren’t they precious?” Gramma smiled. “Matt and Katie did a great job.”
Katie. The wife. Her throat tightened. “How did his wife die?”
“Cancer. That’s why he moved back home.”
Back home? “He hasn’t been here the whole time?”
“No. He owned some kind of big computer business in Atlanta. He sold it and moved back here about a year ago to be closer to his family.”
Shelby sorted through this new information. She’d always assumed Matt would never leave Dover. It was the crux of their breakup. It didn’t make sense.
