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He was giving himself two months to see if Dover could be his new home. Having a job would help him settle in. Within a few minutes he’d filled in all the blanks with his scant personal information. He hoped she wouldn’t press him for the background facts he’d left out. He carried the paper back to the front, waiting while the woman completed a sale to a customer.
She smiled and took the application from his hand. His heart did a funny little twitch inside his chest. She was a very attractive woman with her shoulder-length blond hair and eyes the color of cornflowers in summer. He guessed her to be a few years younger than himself. The top of her head was even with his shoulder, and it was hard to ignore her nice curves. There was a softness about her that intrigued him and reminded him of the delicate pink azaleas in bloom all over town.
She glanced at him, and he saw a wariness in her blue eyes. Not that he could blame her. He didn’t inspire confidence with his two-day growth of beard and old faded shirt. He’d deliberately chosen to keep his appearance low-key, hoping to blend in and not call attention to himself. Had he realized the Lord would lead him to Latimer’s Office Supply, and a job interview, he’d have done things differently.
The woman took a moment to look over his application. He braced himself for the question she would undoubtedly ask—the one that asked for an emergency contact. The one he normally put his previous boss’s name in. Not this time. He had no intention of letting Karen Holt know his whereabouts. She’d want him to come back to work. Out of the question. His life as a conflict photographer was over. As long as he stayed away from his camera, he should be okay. He had absolutely no intention of looking through that viewfinder again.
The bell over the door jingled again, preventing her question. She glanced briefly between him and the new customers. He saw the doubt in her blue eyes fade and knew she’d decided to take him on.
“Why don’t you take a few minutes to look around the store, familiarize yourself with the merchandise? We’ll talk as soon as I take care of these customers.” She shoved his application into a drawer behind the counter and started to walk off. “Oh, I’ll need someone who’ll stay on the job for several weeks. Is that going to be a problem?”
The determined lift to her chin belied the hopeful look in her blue eyes. His protective instincts stirred. The lady could use a hand, and helping others had been one of the things that restored his sense of purpose. “No, ma’am. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”
Ethan took a quick tour of the store while the woman waited on a customer. The first thing that struck him was the size of the place. It was too large for one person to manage alone. Which might explain her desperate need to hire the first person who walked in the door.
He made his way through the store, walking down aisles set in neat predictable rows and gazing at the merchandise one would expect in an office-supply store. The back corner held an assortment of office furniture. The area next to it displayed a small selection of outdated computers and printers. One thing was evident. Latimer’s Office Supply was a basics-only store. In fact, it bordered on old-fashioned. But maybe that was the norm for a small Mississippi town.
Overall, it was a charming business. He dragged his hand along his jaw. Nothing here would trigger a memory. Nothing here would yank him back to the past. It was the perfect place to start over. No memories would be stirred. No old nightmares resurrected. He’d promised himself he’d learn to be a participant in life and not merely an observer.
Returning to the sales counter, he found the woman—he didn’t know her name yet—staring at the departing customer. “Where would you like me to start?” Her gaze collided with his, the blue eyes wide and filled again with a shadow of doubt.
She smiled and raised her chin slightly. “The stockroom. But first we need to discuss your hours and pay.”
Ethan started to tell her he wasn’t concerned about wages, but she stated an amount before he could speak. “Sounds fair.”
“Good. For now, you’ll have Sundays off, but I’ll be making a lot of changes, and I’d like you to come in on Mondays, too. At regular pay.”
“That’ll work.”
“Good. I’ve lost several employees, and I need to replace them quickly.”
“Understood.” He extended his hand. “I’m looking forward to working with you, Miss...?”
The woman’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. She tucked a strand of her wavy hair behind one ear. “Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Nichelle Latimer.”
She grasped his hand. Her fingers were small and delicate and fluttered against his palm, sending a sweet jolt of awareness like a sudden sugar rush throughout his system.
“My family owns this store.”
Questions erupted in his mind. Why wasn’t her family here helping? She must have sensed his curiosity because she tugged her hand away and squared her shoulders.
“Which way to the stockroom?”
She pointed toward the back. Ethan nodded and attempted a smile, but all he could manage was a nod. Sometimes he thought he’d forgotten how to smile. He turned and walked toward the rear of the building. Nichelle. It was a lovely name for a lovely woman. But the guarded look in her eyes suggested she was protecting herself from something. The lady had secrets. But then, so did he.
The back hall was positioned on the east side of the building and led directly to the back door. On the right was an office, and tucked between it and the rear entrance was a kitchen and eating area. The stockroom was on the opposite side and extended along the back wall of the building. Boxes and packages were stacked on the floor and piled on the worktable, waiting to be opened.
The familiar surroundings eased the slight tension from his shoulders. The stockroom was a good place to start. He was comfortable here. He could do his job with little interference. One thing his new boss had mentioned made him uneasy. Waiting on customers. Dealing with people face-to-face had never been his strong suit. It was why he’d lived his life behind a camera lens. No chance for emotional entanglements that way. But he was jumping the gun. There would be time to worry about that later.
Ethan reached for the box cutter on the shelf and slit the seam of the closest carton. Spiral notebooks. It was spring. School would be out soon. Maybe Nicki was planning ahead for back-to-school sales. Prying off the packing slip, he verified it against the contents, then moved on to the next box. He glanced at the assortment of pricing tools hanging above the worktable. He’d have to speak with his new boss about price points for the merchandise.
His lips moved into a smile. The activity reminded him of his college years working at the discount store. The Lord had come through for him again. There was absolutely nothing in Latimer’s Office Supply that would remind him of the Middle East or suicide bombers or innocent victims in marketplaces.
* * *
Nicki winced at the sound of the heavy pot being set down on the counter. Her mother was not happy. The nice, quiet Saturday evening meal with her parents had ended in an argument. Nicki had avoided telling her mom about Ethan as long as she could. But when she asked her straight-out when she planned on replacing Charlie, their longtime employee who had recently retired, Nicki had had no choice but to come clean.
“You hired a stranger to work in our store? Some vagrant off the street?”
“Myra, calm down, dear. Nichelle has good instincts about people.”
Good thing her father knew how to handle her mother because she surely didn’t. They had never been able to communicate. Her brother, Kyle, had been her mother’s favorite, always able to charm her out of a bad mood with a wink and a smile. The perfect child who could do no wrong in her mother’s eyes.
Opening the packet of formula, Nicki poured it into the baby bottle, attached the cap and shook it. Hard. Kyle had been special. She’d adored her older brother and missed him terribly. His death in Afghanistan two years ago had left a huge hole in all their lives. Especially her father’s.
“Allen, she hired a full-time employee, some stranger to work our store. He could rob us blind. Or worse.”
A twinge of concern inched its way up Nicki’s spine. Her mother wasn’t wrong. She had hired a stranger. But her father was right; she did have good instincts about people. Except when she married them. Then she was a complete idiot. She’d fallen for Brad’s charm and his wealth, blithely ignoring the little twinges of doubt until it was too late. But her impression of Ethan was different. She had some questions about him, but she just knew he wasn’t a crook.
“Mom, I called Jim Barrett and he vouched for Ethan.”
Her mother huffed and shook her head. “I don’t like this.”
Nicki exchanged glances with her father. “Mom, I need help at the store. I can’t run it alone. You have to take care of Dad, and he’s got weeks of recovery ahead. What would you like me to do?”
Her mother turned to glare at her. “What do you know about this man?”
“He’s experienced in retail and he can work the hours I gave him. That’s all I need to know right now.” She’d been impressed with Ethan. He’d worked diligently, caught on quickly and only approached her a couple of times with questions regarding the pricing of the merchandise. He looked her in the eyes when he spoke and left the stockroom neat and tidy at the end of the day.
“For all you know, he could be the one robbing the stores downtown.”
Allen Latimer peered over his glasses at his wife, a sure sign he was becoming irritated. “Myra, let the girl do her job. She has her hands full with our granddaughter and our business. Don’t make things worse.”
“Fine. But if one thing is missing from our inventory...” She turned back to the sink, her shoulders stiff with displeasure.
Nicki moved to the baby bouncer on the counter and unbuckled her fussy daughter’s safety strap. She took the little girl into her arms, cradling her close and kissing her cheek, reveling in the new-baby smell. She gave Sadie her bottle, smiling at the sweet little sounds she made as she ate, gently bouncing her as she walked into her parents’ living room and settled down in the rocker.
She looked forward to this time of day, holding Sadie in her arms as she ate, talking to her, sharing her big plans for their future. From the moment the nurse had placed Sadie in her arms, she’d realized she’d found what she’d been looking for all her life. Something that gave her purpose and happiness—being a mom.
The only thing missing was her independence. She’d planned on striking out on her own once Sadie was born, but that plan had been complicated by her father’s kidney transplant and a mountain of red tape with Brad’s estate. As soon as she took care of things here, she’d find a job and leave Dover behind.
Nicki glanced up when her dad stood beside the rocker. He gently stroked Sadie’s little head.
“She’s beautiful. Like her momma.”
Her daddy had always been her biggest cheerleader. She didn’t like keeping things from him, but after realizing the dire financial situation Latimer’s was in, she’d called her friend Gary Palmer to go over the books for her. She hadn’t told her father what she’d done for fear of upsetting him. She didn’t want to risk a setback. Still, her concern warred with her conscience. What if keeping her dad in the dark only upset him more?
“Dad, about the business...”
Her dad patted her shoulder. “I know. Business has fallen off since Office Mart opened over in Sawyer’s Bend. But I’ve made arrangements to transfer some funds to get things back on track. I meant to do it sooner, but then the transplant donor was found, and I never followed up. You do what you think is best for the store. But let’s keep this between you and me. I don’t want to upset your mother.” He rubbed his forehead. “You know, pumpkin, we’re happy to have you back home, and that little darling is our treasure, but I never planned for you to have to take over the store. I’m only sorry this health thing of mine has messed up everything.”
Nicki’s heart ached. “Oh, Daddy, you haven’t messed anything up. I’m glad I was here to help. Besides, I like having something to do every day.” For too many years, she’d been denied that choice.
Her father eyed her closely. She could never deceive him. He always knew when she was keeping things hidden, and right now she was hiding a lot.
“Nicki, honey, why did you come home so suddenly, and why didn’t you bother to attend your own husband’s funeral?”
Shame and guilt washed over her. She focused her gaze on Sadie, who had nearly emptied her bottle. How could she explain the past two years to her parents? They would never understand. Her mother thought Brad had hung the moon. Wealthy, charming, handsome and successful. Everything she’d hoped for her daughter. How could she tell her that Brad had turned out to be a white-collar criminal, that he’d died in a plane crash while attempting to flee the country? And how did she explain that she was broke because Brad’s assets were tied up in a federal investigation?
Her dad touched her cheek gently. “When you’re ready to talk, we’ll be here.”
All she could do was nod. She could barely come to terms with how she—an intelligent, educated woman—had been so foolish and gullible. She’d lost herself in her relationship with her husband. Now she had to figure out who she was and who she wanted to be.
Chapter Two (#ulink_9c9e23e7-bff8-5f1e-96e0-35acf16bc753)
Ethan shook the hand of Reverend Stoddard, uttered a few polite phrases and stepped outside into the Sunday morning sunshine. Two different sermons today had provided plenty of spiritual strengthening. He’d attended Peace Community’s early service, eager to hear Jim Barrett preach. Then after a quick cup of coffee and a sweet roll at the Magnolia Café, he’d crossed the park and attended the late service at Hope Chapel. He’d enjoyed both services, but if he was going to join the PTSD group that Jim had referred him to here, he needed to support the church. That meant attending Hope Chapel on a regular basis.
As he took the steps down to the sidewalk, someone called his name. He looked around to see a giant of a man coming toward him, hand outstretched and a friendly smile on his face.
“You’re Ethan Stone, aren’t you? I’m Ron Morrison. Jim Barrett told me about you.”
He nodded and shook the man’s hand. Ethan stood an inch over six feet, but Ron’s bulk made him feel short. Ron ran the only PTSD support group in Dover. “How did you know who I was?”
“Jim Barrett gave me a good description. Besides, I know the look.”
Ethan smiled ruefully. “Yeah, I guess you do.”
Ron gestured toward the sidewalk. “Why don’t we go over here and talk, if you have the time?”
Ethan fell into step beside him until he stopped at a dark blue Silverado parked at the curb near the end of the block.
Ron pulled a business card from his jacket pocket and handed it to Ethan. “We meet every Wednesday night in a room off the church gym. It’s not a large group. We average around five men, sometimes up to eight or ten. There’s no pressure to talk or share. You do that when you’re ready, or not at all. I just wanted you to know you’re welcome, and we’re here if you need us.”
The card had Ron’s number and the church’s office number. He’d made a lot of progress in the past ten months. The flashbacks were under control, even though they still lurked in the dark edges of his mind, and it had been months since he’d had a nightmare. But he also knew ongoing support was vital. Paul had taught him to take it one step at a time. Face one fear at a time. He planned on following his friend’s advice. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
Ron shook his hand. “We’re all in this together. Don’t forget that.”
Ethan crossed over into the lush park surrounding the courthouse, his gaze taking in the charming nineteenth-century town. Dover, Mississippi, was exactly as Paul had described. From the town square with its majestic courthouse, bandstand and giant live-oak trees, to the charming brick buildings lined up on each side.
April in Mississippi was a riot of color. Pink, red and white azalea bushes and colorful vines exploded from every corner. His photographer’s eye automatically began composing the perfect angles to capture the spring display. But he didn’t have a camera anymore and he wouldn’t ever again. He’d spent his entire life with the lens between himself and the real world. No longer.
“Afternoon, sir.” A soldier dressed in camouflage fatigues strolled passed, nodding a greeting.
Every muscle in Ethan’s body tensed. Caught off guard, the steel gate holding back his memories shook violently, allowing pieces of the darkness to slip through the cracks. He fought to maintain emotional control and keep his anxiety at bay.
The Lord is my shepherd. The twenty-third psalm had been his anchor during recovery. Slowly the emotional storm in his chest eased, and he started back down the sidewalk.
It had all happened too quick. One minute he had been taking pictures of the soldiers on patrol and locals at the neighborhood market, his lens focused on a mother and infant who had stepped into the frame. The next, fire and debris had rocked him off his feet. He’d continued shooting, keeping the lens to his eye, but the image that emerged shredded his soul. The mother and infant who had been standing near the market were lying on the ground.
Something in his soul had died in that moment.
The next thing he remembered was waking up in a hospital with shrapnel in his arm, a concussion and his emotions churning inside his gut like a tornado. Ten months later, here he was, still trying to get past what he’d seen, vowing to never take another photograph again.
After stopping at Filler-Up-Burgers, a charming old gas-station-turned-restaurant, Ethan returned to his small room at the Dixiana Motor Lodge on the edge of town. The old-style motel was right out of a 1940s postcard. Small cabins laid out in an L shape were connected by a common roof and separated by narrow openings for parking a car. The interior provided all the modern conveniences, though the decor was a throwback to another era. After only a few days, however, the room was starting to close in on him. He’d have to find an apartment or a house to rent now that he’d gotten a job and was committed to remaining in Dover. Maybe he’d ask his new boss for some suggestions.
He was looking forward to work tomorrow. Working at Latimer’s would give him a purpose and cover the service part of his rehabilitation. Ron’s group would provide the talking. Both were important keys to managing his PTSD. The service part he embraced. The talking, not so much. But as much as he hated to admit it, talking did help. With the Lord’s help, he’d learn to open up more, letting go of the fears one memory at a time until the past no longer had a stranglehold on his mind.
Paul’s advice had been spot-on. Dover was the perfect place to find himself, to start fresh. Nothing here would drag him down into the darkness. He knew without a doubt that the Lord had brought him here to begin again.
All he wanted now was someplace quiet and peaceful to make a fresh start. He wanted roots. Permanence. He’d lost himself on a dusty street in Afghanistan, and he’d come to Dover to find out who he was now and where he would go from here.
* * *
“Good morning.”
The deep baritone with the husky rasp sent an unwelcome tingle along Nicki’s nerves. She didn’t want to notice Ethan Stone. Not as a man, anyhow. Only as an employee. A much-needed and efficient employee. One who arrived on time on a Monday morning, ready to work.
“Hi.” She glanced up to find him standing on the threshold of her office, that lopsided smile softening his chiseled features. It would be easier to think of him as someone who worked for her if he weren’t so handsome. So capable and so disturbing. Thankfully he was a man of few words who went about his job with efficiency and determination.
He looked more intriguing today. The stubble did little to hide the strong square jaw and high cheekbones below those beautiful brown eyes. He wore an unbuttoned red cotton shirt over a white T-shirt and dark jeans that hugged his legs. He was the image of strength and dependability, two things she needed right now.
She’d learned the hard way not to depend on anyone but herself. She’d teach her daughter that lesson early. The only thing she needed to depend on now was that Ethan would hang around long enough to help her get the new layout in place. She was holding out hope that Gary’s findings wouldn’t drastically alter her plan to remodel Latimer’s.
“Would you like me working back in the stockroom today?”
For some reason, she had a hard time seeing Ethan working in a stockroom, even though he’d worked there all afternoon on Saturday. He looked more suited to the outdoors. She could easily see him leading a safari or heading up some archaeological dig or maybe even exploring jungles. She brushed the fanciful thoughts aside. “Uh. No, actually, I have some sales I need to set and fixtures I want moved.”
He nodded. “Point the way.”
Nicki stood and came around her desk. She’d anticipated Ethan stepping back out of the doorway to let her through. Instead he stepped farther into the office. They collided in the doorway, wedged together. Nicki found herself with her hands pressed against his chest and with Ethan’s hands grasping her upper arms. She refused to meet his gaze, but she couldn’t ignore the warmth under her palms or the solid mass of his chest as it rose and fell beneath her hands. She held her breath, forcing herself to focus.
“Uh, the display window.” She pushed past him into the hall, taking with her the lingering scent of soap and musky aftershave. She made a mental note to keep a safe distance from Ethan Stone.
“First, I want to dismantle this window display. Then these smaller shelves down here need to be taken apart and stored. You can put the merchandise in the back for now. I want two gateleg tables placed end to end right here. You’ll find them in the stockroom near the furnace.”
Ethan stood beside her listening intently, hands resting on his lean hips. “Having a sale?”
“Yes. A ‘Get a Jump on School’ sale. All this old merchandise has got to go.” She turned to find his lopsided grin in place. Like before, it warmed his dark eyes, but this time she was close enough to read the glint of appreciation in his gaze. For her? Silly thought. She took a step back only to snag her jeans on the corner of one of the old aluminum shelves. She tilted backward. Ethan’s strong hand clamped on to her arm. She grabbed his other arm to steady herself, acutely aware of the muscles beneath her hand. Quickly, she let go and straightened. What was wrong with her today? When had she become such a klutz? “See why I want these things out of here?”
“I’ll take care of it.”
Moving to the wooden checkout counter positioned deep inside the store on the east wall, she tapped it lightly. “I’d like to move this counter closer to the front door.”
Ethan hunkered down, tapped the wood, examined the base, then stood and did the same on the other side. “I think it’s only screwed down. It shouldn’t be too hard to move it. It’ll leave some ugly scars on the floorboards though.”
“Can you do that? Move it, I mean?”
“Yes. But are you sure you want to?” He stood brushing dust off his hands. “Putting it closer to the door might create a congestion problem on busy days. The customers coming in are going to be forced to move around the ones in line.”
