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‘Insufferable man,’ Nell spluttered when the door was shut behind him.
‘He’s very handsome, Miss Court,’ Mary said with a longing gaze at that very door, as if wishing might bring him back.
‘Not really,’ Nell said as she tried to decide why he was so uniquely attractive.
Not wanting to discover the secret of it, Nell set about undressing Lavinia as gently as she could and shot the maid a sharp look to remind her of her duty. Between them they coaxed Lavinia to raise her arms so they could strip off her muslin gown, stockings, indoor shoes and flannel petticoat without rousing her fully.
‘Let her sleep in her petticoat this once,’ Nell said as they each put an arm about the girl’s waist and walked her over to the bed. ‘She needs rest more than food right now,’ she warned and put a finger to her lips to tell Mary not to argue until they were out of earshot.
‘What if she wakes up hungry later?’ the girl whispered when they were out in the corridor with the door almost shut.
‘I must persuade Cook to make her something that won’t spoil. If she sends your dinner up, will you listen for her while I go downstairs? If the poor child has one of her nightmares I don’t want her to be alone.’
Nell could sense the young maidservant wanted to argue, but it was her job to look after the eldest Selford girl. Mary probably wanted to giggle with her fellow maids at the thought of such an exciting addition to the local pool of bachelors. Nell would stay and watch Lavinia’s slumbers herself if she didn’t have three other charges and a disturbing stranger to keep an eye on. Mr Moss might regret accepting the housekeeper’s invitation to stay to dinner while she scurried her staff over to his house to give it a hasty airing. Or at least he might when he found out Nell was in the habit of instructing her pupils in the art of fine dining and good manners and he would be a tame gentleman to practice on.
Chapter Three (#ua1a4b546-33e0-5900-aeaf-011528afda02)
‘Mr Moss has gone upstairs to wash and shave. Parkins showed him into the Red Room and sent Will to wait on him,’ Penny told Nell when she went along to the night nursery to make sure her youngest charge was ready for the meal ahead.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to move into a proper grown-up bedchamber, my love?’ Nell asked to divert them both as she caught Penny’s sash and hauled her gently back into the room to be made as neat and presentable as she already thought she was.
‘No, I like it in here and Crombie is next door if I have a bad dream.’
‘Sooner or later you’ll have to become a young lady,’ Nell said as she brushed Penny’s wavy nut-brown hair to shining perfection. It struck her that Penny might well be the most sought-after Miss Selford one day, for all Caro’s potentially stunning looks. As Penny was nine years old at least Nell could put off worrying about her future for a while.
‘Not until I’m too big to have a choice,’ Penny said with a grimace of distaste.
Nell knew it was wrong to have favourites, but she secretly doted on her youngest pupil. She pronounced Penny perfectly turned out even for dinner with a strange gentleman now and reminded her that her manners ought to match her appearance.
‘Of course,’ said Miss Penelope Selford with a solemn nod and a hop, skip and jump to show how excited she was by even this much company.
Memory of how it felt to be the daughter of a scandalous lord had kept Nell here, trying to fill some of the gaps in the girls’ narrow lives, even if they were lonely for a very different reason. Now her brother Colm’s fortune was restored and her own dowry doubled by her father’s efforts to protect his children before he died. She wondered what Mr Moss would make of a governess with a handsome fortune and a scandalous father. As the third son of a country squire he might court her for her fortune, whatever he thought of her and her blighted family name, and that was another reason Nell refused to join Colm and his new wife for the upcoming London Season. Fortune hunters. Even the thought of men pursuing her solely for her money made her shudder with dread. Then there was the unscrupulous lecher who had been trying to force her sister-in-law to marry him on the very night Eve and Colm met. Nell knew she would find even less determined ones difficult to fend off and she didn’t understand how to do it without a fuss, as Eve had learned to during her rather trying three years as a single society lady with that same scandal hanging over her. Nell had spent most of her life in the company of women and girls, so how would it feel to be put on show for the poorer gentlemen of the ton to decide if they could endure marrying her for her moneybags? Appalling, she decided with another shudder and snapped back to the here and now with a sigh of relief.
‘Are we going downstairs soon, Miss Court?’ Penny asked. ‘Mrs Winch will not be happy if you leave her to make sure that Caro and Georgie behave like proper young ladies in company.’
Nell shot a look at her own reflection in the small mirror. She was neat enough in a dark blue stuff gown and at least her hair had stayed in place. It took a legion of hairpins to keep it neat and she had no intention of making a special effort so that would have to do. Mr Moss would have to endure the sight of her everyday clothes. How silly to have a vision of dazzling him in a fine silk gown with her hair arranged to flatter instead of disguise her charms. Even if she had such a gown she wouldn’t wear it for Lord Barberry’s land steward.
‘We had best hurry before they go down without us,’ Nell said and braced herself for the ordeal ahead, wishing they could have nursery tea in the schoolroom and retire betimes instead of having to meet Mr Moss again today.
Before they went downstairs she had to make Georgiana remove the pins from her hair, then take off her late mama’s second-best pearl necklace and do up the buttons of her gown all the way to the top. Drat him, but the man was disruption in breeches, she decided with a long-suffering sigh. As she plaited the girl’s tawny mane neatly she tried not to be disturbed by the idea of dangerous adult company herself and sincerely hoped he was less intriguing by the light of several wax candles than he was in the dark.
* * *
Oh, confound the man, she decided when they finally got downstairs; he looked every inch the gentleman. How on earth did a lowly steward afford to have his coats made by a master tailor? Scott had crafted her brother’s fine new coats and was a firm favourite with former military gentlemen. Perhaps Mr Moss had engaged Weston instead, but that midnight-blue superfine coat wasn’t the work of a provincial tailor. Nor did his snowy linen and spotlessly sleek knee breeches seem quite right on the younger son of a country squire. Nell frowned as her charges meekly curtsied to him, rendered almost speechless with awe for a few brief moments as they took in the splendour of their unexpected guest. There was something very much out of kilter about a hired man appearing here in clothes that must have cost most of his annual salary before he had even begun to work for it.
‘Good evening, sir,’ Nell managed coolly, as all the reasons for his unexpected style clamoured in her head and she couldn’t find one that didn’t spell trouble. ‘Miss Georgiana, Miss Caroline and Miss Penelope Selford, meet your guardian’s new land steward, Mr Moss.’
‘Good evening, ladies,’ he replied with a courtly bow. Now thoroughly out of sorts, as she worried about the reasons Moss had left his last post, Nell had to whisper a sharp aside to Caro and Georgie before they remembered their manners and returned his greeting.
‘You look very fine, sir,’ Nell said as her eyes met his and he seemed to mock her conclusions some besotted lady had paid for her lover to appear every inch the gentleman in her company. She wished she had someone ready to whisper good conduct in her ears and tried hard to ignore a sharp pang that couldn’t be jealousy. Why didn’t she have the wit to invent a headache and excuse them all this supposedly quiet dinner with his lordship’s new land agent?
‘My godmama pays my tailor’s bill once a year, so I can present a better appearance than a younger son is usually able to do,’ he replied smoothly.
Nell looked for mockery in his acute blue eyes and met bland innocence, but did she believe him? No, yet she could hardly challenge him in front of the girls. She gave him a polite, insincere smile and waved the girls to sit on a sofa the other side of the fire from their unexpected guest. She didn’t approve of him looking so at home by his employer’s fireside, but the Earl didn’t want it, so she had no real reason to object. If he took advantage she would deal with him in private, but she suspected he was far too subtle a man to do anything so obvious.
‘Were you waiting for your new clothes to arrive before you came?’ Penny asked innocently. Nell was ready to rebuke her, but Mr Moss shook his head and smiled at her youngest pupil.
‘A land steward needs gaiters and homespun more than a fine coat and expensive boots, Miss Penelope, but the Earl had another use for me so I did as I was bid. I hope my workaday clothes turn up on the carrier’s cart soon, because I certainly can’t ride about the countryside in my town finery if I wish to be taken seriously as Lord Barberry’s steward,’ he said.
Nell hoped the girls didn’t notice his mocking look in her direction, as if he’d read every doubt in her mind about that tall tale. He could have as many lovers as he needed to keep him in style, so long as he didn’t impart his dubious morals to her pupils, she concluded, with a militant frown he ignored with annoying ease.
‘That would be sensible, considering the dire spring we have endured so far,’ she agreed as if she almost believed in his doting godmother instead of a foolish lover.
‘I promise to be ill dressed and muddy next time we meet, ma’am. You Misses Selford have a very conscientious governess. I doubt you get away with putting a foot wrong without her knowing about it almost before you do.’
‘Miss Court is kind and looks after us very well,’ Penny said loyally.
Even Caroline nodded and Georgiana looked as if she was disappointed in him and Nell would have hugged them all if he wasn’t looking.
‘I’m sure she does all a good governess should,’ he approved with a sly smile Nell didn’t trust one bit.
‘Thank you, Mr Moss,’ she said calmly, although it sounded more of a challenge than a compliment. ‘I do my best.’
‘And who can ask for more?’ he asked and she wasn’t sure she could endure much more of being laughed at by an estate manager who looked more like a society rake without telling him exactly what she thought of him.
She couldn’t do anything of the sort, but his questionable standards of behaviour felt like a betrayal and what was between them for him to betray? Nothing; she was Miss Hancourt and he the son of a country squire with a living to earn and never mind any side benefits he had fitted in along the way.
‘I feel quite famished tonight,’ Caro said quietly.
Nell was concerned enough about her least garrulous pupil to look for signs of girlish infatuation in her eyes. No, from the spark of anger when she eyed the man warily, Caro was trying to stop this exotic newcomer mocking her governess. It warmed Nell’s heart to think shy Caro wanted to defend her from this puzzling stranger.
‘I expect dinner will be served as soon as Mrs Winch is able to join us,’ she said with a fond smile at Caro to say she was excused the minor faux pas of admitting to hunger in public.
‘Lavinia will be very sharp set by morning,’ Penny said cheerfully.
‘I asked Cook to make something cold for her to eat if she wakes up hungry,’ Nell said with a slight frown at her youngest pupil to warn her not to gloat about Lavinia’s exhausting bout of tears.
‘Good, because she really can’t help it,’ Georgiana said earnestly.
‘I know, Georgiana, and I’m sure Penelope will forget what her eldest cousin said in the heat of temper, especially if she wishes to take dinner with us tonight,’ Nell said firmly.
‘She said...’
‘There are faults on all sides,’ Nell pointed out. ‘Your cousins were rude to each other and the slate is clean now, unless you would like to do penance for your own hot words and uncaring sentiments?’
‘No,’ Penny said with a sidelong look at her cousins to confirm she would be an idiot to work out a grudge against Lavinia when the alternative was dinner and far more exciting company than usual.
‘Miss Court the peacemaker, who would have thought it?’ the company said as if he had every right to pass judgement on her.
‘And Mr Moss, the peace breaker, what of him?’ she replied so quietly the girls couldn’t hear when she crossed the room to find Parkins and get him to tell Mrs Winch dinner was overdue. The lady’s services as chaperon to her and her pupils felt more important than whatever was delaying her and the sooner this meal was over the better.
‘Oh, him. He’s a rascal,’ Moss murmured when she was on her way back to the stiff-backed chair as far away from him as she could get and still feel warmth from the fire. She had taken it because she disliked him, she reassured herself, and gave a little nod of confirmation she hoped he’d take so badly he wouldn’t tease her again.
The girls needed practice at polite dining and proper topics of conversation when gentlemen were present and she would usually admit she needed more adult company. As a single lady who might end up alone and at her last prayers, the whole neighbourhood would assume Miss Court was doing her best to marry any spare bachelor who came along. No doubt everyone in the area would assume she was intent on catching the wretch now he’d turned out to be vigorous and well looking. The thought of speculative eyes watching them at church every Sunday made her shudder. The last thing she intended to do was break her heart over Moss and she doubted he had one to break if she was so inclined. She would stick to the schoolroom or wait for the paragon who might inspire even half the love and passion in her as her brother Colm and his new wife Eve had for one another.
In public the newlyweds acted like a very proper young couple. There was no sitting gazing into each other’s eyes and sighing for a bed and just a bit more privacy for them. Yet they showed how much they loved each other by small glances and little touches. One always knew where the other was without having to watch every little movement and, whereas most people grew heavy eyed and weary the later it got in the day, those two glowed with delicious anticipation of being alone again at last. Nell had never seen two people so silently and discreetly delighted at the idea of being wrapped up in the night when nobody else would expect them to be polite for a few precious hours.
Something told her Moss would never let his cynical detachment drop long enough to allow a female that far into his life. What would she find if he did offer to share it with her? A hardened heart and calculating mind? Or perhaps, a protected heart—because he had such a tender, ardent spirit under all that cynicism? And look where misplaced love got your late father, Nell reminded herself, resolving to get on with real life before it got out of control.
A suitably bland topic of conversation eluded her. She doubted Mr Moss would let the mild amusement of speculating who the new rector of Great Berry might be run for long. It was impolite to wonder who was up or down in local society when he didn’t know them; which left the state of the nation or the arts. Nell opted for the latter until Mrs Winch finally tore herself away from other duties and they could go in to dinner and get this difficult evening over with the sooner.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Mrs Winch said breathlessly as she hurried into the room a few minutes later. ‘One of the maids has managed to scald herself and tip half the fish course on the floor,’ she murmured in Nell’s ear before greeting their guest graciously and signalling to Parkins it was time to announce dinner was served.
Nell hoped that part of the meal went to the pigs, however spotless the kitchen floor was before it fell. And what would Moss make of the simple dishes they were used to in the Earl’s absence? The girls were too young for elaborate sauces and the clever touches of a French chef and Nell and Mrs Winch were happy with Cook’s beautifully cooked but simple meals. If the man usually took his dinner in the sort of company his evening attire indicated he must, he’d be disappointed. He seemed to enjoy it though, so perhaps he really was a simple man in dandy’s clothing. If so, his godmother’s folly in outfitting him so splendidly was no kindness when he must earn his own bread. Why, he could sit down to dinner with the Earl and not be outshone and what a mistake that would be in an underling.
How had she got from hoping her food had never been on the floor to worrying about the social niceties of Moss’s wardrobe? The man was old enough to look after himself and if he chose to ride around the country fine as fivepence or dressed in the meanest homespun it wouldn’t matter to her.
‘Surely a fine novel can outshine the shady reputation of its kind, Mrs Winch?’ she intervened in the conversation she had started earlier, before Georgiana could recite a list of those she had read and enjoyed. That might reveal the fact Nell had allowed her to read books many would consider unsuitable for a young girl.
‘A fine novel might, but the occasional triumphs are lost in the morass of sensation and fantasy,’ Moss answered before the worthy but upright lady could condemn the whole genre and Georgiana might argue hotly for her most-loved examples and let out their secrets. ‘I have neither the time nor patience to work my way through stacks of three-decker novels to find the occasional gem. Poetry and plays are an established form and I can trust time to sieve out the worst and keep the best of them,’ he added as if dropping stones into a pond just for the pleasure of making ripples.
‘Some might say that makes you a lazy reader, sir, but I hope you will concede that Dean Swift and Mr Defoe tower above their imitators,’ Nell argued because she couldn’t seem to help herself.
‘I grant you those excellent examples, ma’am, and Sir Henry Fielding’s works, although these young ladies must be ignorant of all but Amelia now society thinks the rest improper, which says more about society than Sir Henry if you ask me.’
Hiding a smile as Mrs Winch tried to decide if she should argue, Nell shot Georgiana a warning look. It had seemed a good idea to let her read The History of Tom Jones as well as Amelia at the time, to show her the world wasn’t always kind to an innocent abroad. Luckily Lavinia had no interest in any but the popular novels Moss was being so scathing about, so Nell needn’t worry she would let Mr Jones’s name out unwarily. Caro was worried enough about what lay outside the gates of Berry Brampton House not to burden her with such vivid misadventures.
Luckily talk soon moved on and Nell could relax while they argued for this or that favourite poem. It was a chance to listen instead of having to instruct her pupils. The elder girls seemed much like any on the verge of womanhood and, considering what a pair of hostile little savages they were when she’d arrived here, Nell was proud of them. Penny was confident enough to sit and listen when she had nothing to say, but Nell couldn’t rest on her laurels. Even Penny would soon feel the changes in mind and body that transformed little girls into women. The others were well launched on that stage when Nell arrived and she tried not to shudder at the memory.
For once Mr Moss was a welcome diversion. He was a strong man, she decided after a few furtive glances at him to take in what the shadows hid earlier, long-limbed and oddly graceful, despite his air of suppressed energy and to-hell-with-you manner. Something about him recalled Lavinia for an instant, but she looked again and thought it was a trick of the light. They both had intensely blue eyes, but he was dark as the devil and Lavinia was fair and the shape of their faces were quite different.
And what did an almost-handsome man think of the governess? That she was a middling sort of person and quite unremarkable, she concluded. Her once angelically fair locks were halfway between gold and brown and her eyes were plain brown. She was neither tall nor short and even at seventeen Lavinia outdid her in womanly curves. All Mr Moss’s worst fears must be realised by candlelight, not that it mattered; once he settled into the agent’s house he’d be in such demand among local society they would not meet except by chance.
It was no small thing to be land steward to the Berry Brampton Estate and, as the Earl did not live here, some of his status would fall on Mr Moss. Genteel young ladies would badger their fathers and brothers to call and invite him to dinner or an informal party so he’d soon be too busy charming the local beauties to dine with four unfledged young ladies, their plain governess and Mrs Winch. The Selford cousins were above his touch and Nell beneath it. What if he wasn’t Mr Moss and she wasn’t Miss Court, though? With a fortune like hers he could buy his own estate to manage. Revolted at the idea of being courted for her money, Nell decided if she ever married it would be to a man who loved her for herself. She came out of her daydream to find the others all but done with their meal and Mrs Winch more than ready for a cup of tea and half an hour nodding by the fire.
‘Parkins will bring in the port, Mr Moss,’ the lady said. ‘It’s time we left you to it and Miss Penelope looks half-asleep and ready to say goodnight.’
‘It is early for the other young ladies to retire, don’t you think, ma’am?’ he said as if he was the master here and not his man.
He must have seen Caro’s wry grimace at the thought of another early night and Nell couldn’t let herself be charmed that he seemed to be trying to save Caro and Georgiana from dull routine. It seemed a simple act of kindness, but was anything about him truly simple?
‘Mrs Crombie is waiting to take Miss Penny up, Miss Court,’ Parkins told her when he came in with the decanters, treading the fine line between housekeeper and governess with his usual impassive gloom.
‘Are you happy to take that sleepy head of yours up to bed?’ Nell whispered to her smallest charge.
Penny nodded and smothered another yawn behind her hand. ‘I’m half-asleep,’ the girl said with a smile that won Nell’s heart anew. ‘I know you must stay and help chaperon Caro and Georgie, so goodnight, Miss Court. Goodnight, Mr Moss,’ she said with a curtsy to gladden any governess’s heart. She kissed Nell, wished her cousins goodnight and seemed likely to tumble into bed and sleep as soon as she was undressed.
Chapter Four (#ua1a4b546-33e0-5900-aeaf-011528afda02)
Fergus watched pupil and teacher bid each other goodnight. The dragon seemed almost soft-hearted so perhaps Poulson wasn’t as far abroad in his judgement as he’d first thought. Of course, she was still too young for the post and two years ago could hardly have been long out of the schoolroom herself. Take away the spotless wisp of lawn and lace perched on her shining golden-brown curls and he could take ten years off the ones he’d first put in her dish. Her assured manner and limited patience fooled him at the time, but a very different person was revealed by candlelight. This Miss Court might pretend to be at her last prayers, but her mouth gave her away. It was less certain than he imagined when he met her in the gloomy stables. The young lady under the front of a no-nonsense governess had soft and expressive lips to go with her pert nose and brown-velvet eyes. Miss Court was a shade under the average height for a woman and slim as a whip, with the sort of slender yet intriguing womanly curves even a blue stuff gown made high to the neck couldn’t quite conceal. A connoisseur of feminine beauty might not rank her a diamond of the first water, but she would be very pretty if she threw away that dire gown and ridiculous cap. It wasn’t right to long to discover the vulnerable and generous woman under her would-be stern exterior. He usually liked his lovers buxom and bold and wished his mistress was nearby to visit when the need arose, because it might arise right now if he wasn’t very careful where his thoughts wandered in Miss Court’s presence.
‘I promise to restrict myself to one glass, ladies,’ he said as Mrs Winch and her chicks rose, looking uncertain about this whole enterprise. As well they might, he told himself sternly. He blinked away a vision of the lovely young woman under Miss Court’s armour and stood up politely.
‘Very well, Mr Moss, we shall see you shortly,’ Mrs Winch said.
He caught a sceptical governess look from him to decanter and was tempted to live down to Miss Court’s low expectations and get roaring drunk before he staggered into his smallest drawing room and gave himself away as the owner of all this faded glory. He wasn’t prepared to do that, he decided, and if the truth ever came out he must remember to thank the starchy female for the disguise she’d thrust on him, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to be ‘my lord’ now he was here. His grandfather might have found the vast portrait of a Cavalier ancestor and family an aid to good digestion, but he did not. The Baron Selford portrayed so skilfully had an arrogance that must have had recruits rushing to join the Parliamentarian Army in order to escape his tyranny. A master painter had caught hints of rebellion in the man’s son and heir and a sidelong glance from the old lord’s lady said she didn’t blame her eldest one for wondering if he wanted to die for the same cause.
God forbid any child of his would ever look at him with such cool dislike in his eyes. If it wasn’t for his uneasy conscience about shirking his duty as Earl of Barberry for so long, he’d turn tail and catch the next tide to Ireland and his stepfather’s comfortable home. No, he had a chance to observe his estate and mansion as he never would in his own shoes. He girded Mr Moss’s loins and took him back to the Small Drawing Room by proxy.
‘Do continue, Miss Caroline,’ Fergus said as the piano playing stopped the instant he pushed opened the door. ‘I am very fond of Herr Mozart’s sonatas, at least when they are played with such a delicate touch,’ he added and the obviously very shy girl smiled and carried on.
He had expected his cousins to be haughty and aloof, but they were brighter and more thoughtful than most of their kind, which he put down to their own spirit and Miss Court’s influence. According to Poulson’s reports, the laziness of a junior partner he had dismissed the moment he found out how negligent he’d been meant these girls had had little real guidance before their young governess arrived to try and bring sense, order and a little compassion into their lives. Once more he found himself oddly drawn to the young woman who sat as far away from him as she could. The sooner he was installed in the land steward’s house and busy about the estate the better. Miss Court and Mrs Winch had his wards and his house in order and it was high time he could say the same for the land, and that would keep him out of Miss Court’s way until it was time to go away again or reveal his true identity.
* * *
‘Do you think Mr Moss will like the steward’s house, Miss Court?’ Caro asked Nell sleepily as they finally went upstairs, at long last.
‘I’m sure he will and he can’t stay here with us. That would be dreadfully improper in the Earl’s absence, or even with it now I come to think about it. For either gentleman to move into Berry Brampton, we would have to leave.’
‘I suppose so, but it’s such a long time since Mr Jenks decided to retire and live with his daughter. I know the house was cleared out and dusted when we were told a new steward was coming, but that was weeks ago. The whole house could be damp after this dreadful weather and all sorts of things might have happened while it was lying empty, don’t you think?’
‘Not if I can help it,’ Nell said with a weary sigh. ‘If Mr Moss couldn’t send a message to warn us he was coming, at long last, he must accept the fact his house needs airing before it is quite comfortable. Mrs Winch will have kept an eye on the place, so I doubt it will be as difficult to sleep there as you imagine. Mr Moss will not find the land in good heart, though. I suppose I should have found a discreet way to let his lordship know how bad things were before Mr Jenks admitted his sight was failing and left.’
‘Oh, no, Miss Court, Jenks said he owed it to Grandfather to carry on managing the estate and he was so loyal to the family we couldn’t betray him, could we? He has such old-fashioned ideas—perhaps it’s as well Jenks had to go all the way to Yorkshire to live with his daughter so he can’t argue with everything Mr Moss wants to do,’ Georgiana said with a wise nod that left Nell trying not to smile at her unusual interest in estate management.
Georgiana enjoyed a combative relationship with the local squire’s eldest son. One day it might grow into something more and Nell thought them well matched. Persuading Lord Barberry that the heir of a mere squire would make a good husband for one of his wards would be a challenge, but not one she need worry about now Georgiana was fifteen and the lad a year older.
‘Yorkshire is not so very far away,’ she teased gently as she urged the sisters upstairs to the modest room they insisted on sharing, despite the many splendid bedchambers in this grand old house.
‘It is as far as Mr Jenks is concerned,’ Caro put in and smiled her thanks when Nell loosened her laces and helped her out of her simple round gown, then began brushing Caro’s thick blonde locks while their maid undid Georgiana’s gown.
‘You can’t help wondering why he agreed to go there in the first place though, can you?’ Georgiana observed with a frown and Nell wondered if it was odd that the man had finally left in such a hurry.
‘The love of family can lead us to the most unexpected places,’ Nell said with a shrug and a last look around. Becky had everything in hand and her charges looked so tired they should sleep soundly. Wishing them all a good night, she went to check on Lavinia and found Mary nodding in the dressing room.
‘Miss Lavinia hasn’t stirred all evening, miss. I’ve never known her so quiet or so little trouble,’ the maid admitted sheepishly.
‘You might as well go to bed now, Mary. If Miss Lavinia was going to take a chill, we would know by now and no doubt you’ll hear if she wakes up and needs you in the night,’ Nell told the maid with a nod at the truckle bed already set up in the narrow little room for her to sleep in and still be close if Lavinia needed her.
‘Thank you, miss,’ the young maid said dutifully.
Nell wondered why nobody found it odd Mary was Lavinia’s age and yet a maid had to be far more sensible and self-disciplined than the girl she was employed to wait on. ‘This isn’t a fair world,’ she murmured when she shut the door on her responsibilities for the night. ‘You ought to know that by now.’
She was only three and twenty herself and had taken responsibility for four young girls when she was barely of age. Looking back, she wondered why Mr Poulson picked her from the list of mature and experienced applicants for this job and decided it could only be because she wasn’t either of those things. Add Miss Thibett’s hard-won praise for Nell’s five years spent as a pupil teacher at her school and she supposed Mr Poulson thought she would understand her charges better and perhaps grow up with them. She recalled her giddy, schoolgirlish rush of excitement when she’d met Mr Moss’s deceptive blue eyes for the first time tonight and wondered if it might not be better if she knew a little more about men and their odd quirks and unlikely preoccupations.
Nell had grown up apart from her brother and she wondered why aristocratic gentlemen were so harsh with dependent children as she recalled the servants’ gossip about how little time the last Earl of Barberry had for his female grandchildren. Her uncle certainly didn’t have any for her. Parting her and Colm when her brother was old enough to be sent to school at eight years old was cruel. The more she pleaded with her uncle for one holiday a year or even Christmas together, the less he was inclined to grant them even a day. The memory of being desperately lonely in her late uncle’s house made her shudder even now. She’d cried herself to sleep for months after Colm had gone away and memories of how it felt to be alone and unwanted in an echoing house was one reason she’d agreed to apply for this job when Miss Thibett suggested she should. The thought of four lonely and abandoned girls got her here when Mr Poulson chose her for the post of their governess and memories of being unwanted by her own family made her grit her teeth and stay, although she wanted to run as far and as fast as her legs would carry her as soon as she met Lavinia’s hostile glare and realised the younger Selford cousins took their cue from her and had very good glares of their own.
Was she sorry she had stayed now? It had taken months of patience to wear their hostility down, but she truly wanted the best for them. She recalled the feel of poor Lavinia sobbing in her arms and letting out so much pent-up unhappiness and at least she understood her a little better now. If she didn’t have responsibility for these lonely girls she might have agreed to join Colm and Eve for the coming Season in London, though. Maybe there she would have found a gentleman quiet and steady enough to marry and make the family she’d always longed for with. Oddly enough an image of Moss interrupted her daydream and mocked her with a cynical smile. He might be right, if he was actually here and knew what went on in her head, because by the side of him her paragon did sound dreadfully dull.
