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‘Come on …’ urged Allie. ‘The suspense is killing us.’
‘He’s actually, not bad … Prince Charming, indeed.’
Martha gave Aggie a knowing look, ‘See, just call me Cupid.’
All attention was on Rona.
‘This is exciting! Maybe I do need to get myself on Tinder after all,’ joked Polly.
‘He’s called Bill, and lives ten kilometres away …’
‘He must be somewhere over in Glensheil then,’ interrupted Isla.
‘And he’s retired and loves hiking. He does have a kind face,’ said Rona, thinking out loud.
‘It can’t hurt to drop him a message,’ said Felicity, beginning to clear away the empty bowls from the table.
But Rona wasn’t listening. ‘As much as I’ve had fun tonight … there … the profile is deleted.’
‘Spoilsport!’ the disappointment was written all over Martha’s face as Rona handed her back the phone.
‘If I’m going to meet a man, and call me old fashioned, but I want to meet him because he’s walked into my life, not through some sort of … what do you call them … apps?’
‘Unfortunately, it’s the way of the world these days,’ chipped in Polly. ‘But I know what you mean, I want someone to walk into my life and knock me dead.’
‘You’re no good to anyone dead,’ grinned Allie.
‘You know what I mean! I want to feel the first flush of love, feel the butterflies flutter in my stomach and be swept off my feet by someone in person. I want the whole fairy tale.’
‘So, you won’t be joining Tinder then, Pol,’ said Isla, draining the last of her wine from her glass.
‘Not any day soon!’
They all chatted and listened to Martha’s stories for the next ten minutes, then Isla felt herself beginning to physically tire. She knew she’d be up during the night with Angus for his night feeds. ‘It’s time for me to be making a move,’ Isla said, knowing she should make a move yet dreading going home to Drew, but as her gaze drifted towards her watch, she felt relieved knowing he’d be fast asleep due to his early morning start.
‘And me,’ admitted Jessica. ‘I’m up early for school.’
Everyone began to gather their belongings and they all thanked Felicity for a great evening. As the front door shut behind them, Felicity slouched into the chair and smiled to herself, hearing Martha singing down the road. ‘I hope I have that amount of energy at that age,’ she said.
‘Don’t we all. I’m exhausted just watching her,’ laughed Polly, pressing a swift kiss to Felicity and Rona’s cheeks. ‘See you in the morning … night.’
As Rona and Felicity began to load the dishwasher, Felicity noticed her mum deep in thought.
‘What is it, Mum? You seem like you’ve suddenly got the weight of the world on your shoulders,’ added Felicity tentatively.
Rona straightened and exhaled slightly. ‘Don’t mind me, I’m a little tipsy.’ Rona took a breath and leant over to wipe the worktops. ‘But for the first time in a long time I actually laughed tonight, and I mean laughed.’
‘So why the sigh?’ asked Felicity, perplexed.
‘Because as much as Martha is a loveable old eccentric, she knows how to have fun.’
‘You know how to have fun.’
Rona leant against the worktop. ‘When do I ever have any fun? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m unhappy, far from it …’
‘But?’ interrupted Felicity.
‘Even though I’m surrounded by people every day and I have you … sometimes I actually feel lonely.’
Felicity felt saddened, she’d never even considered that her mum felt this way.
‘I do the same thing, day in and day out … and I love my life … and I love our teashop and you are my world, but tonight … it made me think about the past … and all those special times I’d spent with your father. Nothing will ever replace the love we had, but sometimes …’ She took a breath. ‘Sometimes I wish to be cuddled or even have the opportunity to make more of myself … dress up, maybe be wined and dined.’
Felicity was unable to hide her amazement at her mum’s words but was quick to reassure her. ‘Dad died many years ago and you are very much alive. It’s natural you should feel this way. As much as we laughed and joked tonight, maybe it’s about time you looked for that special someone in your life,’ she said, knowing it was only a matter of time before she and Fergus would talk about setting up home together, leaving her mum rattling around in Heartwood Cottage all by herself.
‘Maybe it’s the drink talking,’ admitted Rona, pouring herself a glass of water. ‘But look at Martha, she’s still living life to the max even at her age. The stories she told us tonight …’
‘No-one can deny Martha lives every day like it’s her last,’ Felicity touched her mum’s arm tentatively. ‘But you have to do what’s right for you, and who knows who’ll walk through that teashop door when you least expect it.’
Rona gave a short smile, ‘I look at you youngsters, all flourishing in life, starting out and I still feel young inside, but I know I’m not … my knees remind me of that every morning when I climb out of bed. What I’m trying to say is, my life is trundling along so fast. One minute you are here and the next you are gone.’
‘Mum, don’t talk like this,’ said Felicity, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.
‘It’s true … one minute I’m a little girl pinching my mother’s baking whilst she wasn’t looking and now, she’s gone. In a blink of an eye everything changes.’ Rona took a breath. ‘I do know you’ll want to set up home with Fergus and Esme.’ She took her daughter’s hand and squeezed it gently. ‘I don’t want you to worry about me.’ Her voice faltered and a tiny tear slid down her cheek. ‘Don’t put your life on hold for me. You deserve your happiness … your happy ever after, and it’ll make me happy to see you happy, but there’s just one thing I ask.’
Felicity swallowed down the lump in her throat, she’d never heard her mum talk this way before. ‘This place, Bonnie’s teashop, keep it alive for Mum, me and you.’
‘Always, Mum … always. I’ll never let you down.’
Rona pulled her daughter in for a hug. ‘I don’t say it often enough, but I love you.’
Felicity nodded, ‘I love you too.’
Chapter 7 (#ulink_a57e415c-d56a-5347-9ae0-63ec7075bd57)
The 5 a.m. alarm sounded, and Isla woke feeling exhausted. It only felt like she’d closed her eyes five minutes ago. As usual, Drew was lying next to her in a deep sleep which she was extremely jealous of. As she shook him lightly, he began to stir. ‘Drew, it’s time to get up, the alarm went off.’
‘Already,’ he murmured, half-asleep, before gingerly pulling back the covers and slowly swinging his legs to the floor. Isla shivered as a blast of cool air hit her, she quickly pulled the duvet back up around her neck.
Drew reluctantly wandered down the stairs and Isla turned over as she heard the kitchen light switch on, followed by the sound of running water. Her head felt fuzzy, the wine hadn’t helped last night but she’d barely slept in between Angus waking up and worrying about Drew’s mood.
At 2 a.m. she’d found herself drinking a mug of tea in the kitchen while staring at Drew’s phone charging on the side. Jessica’s comment was firmly on her mind. What if Drew did have a gambling problem? What if there was something wrong with his health and he was too scared to tell her? Or could he even be having an affair? Isla couldn’t settle with all these thoughts whirling around in her mind.
Part of her was itching to check his phone, but the other part of her knew it was dishonest. But before she could stop herself, she reached over, unplugged the phone and stood at the bottom stairs and listened.
Silence.
Thankfully, she hadn’t disturbed anyone by coming downstairs.
She rolled the phone over and over in her hands. Drew’s screensaver was a photo of them all, a picture taken at the hospital when Angus was born. Isla took a deep breath and pressed the home button. She was relieved when the phone didn’t have a passcode, which she thought was a good sign. Surely if Drew had anything to hide, he would ensure his phone was locked at all times. Firstly, she scrolled through his messages, but they were just the usual texts from suppliers, and the usual banter about footie from Fergus and Rory. There was no-one in his contact list that she didn’t know and his photo albums were jam-packed with pictures of her and the boys, and she took a moment to appreciate the wonderful family they had. It made Drew’s moods even more worrying.
‘Apps … what apps does he have?’ said Isla, quickly scrolling. Her hands were sweating and her heart was thumping, but again there was nothing unusual and certainly no gambling apps.
‘What are you doing, Isla?’ she mumbled to herself.
She hadn’t got a clue what she was hoping to find but she certainly hadn’t found anything incriminating on Drew’s phone. And now she just felt bad for even looking. Riddled with guilt for thinking the worst, she plugged the phone back into the charger and took herself back off to bed.
A couple of hours after Drew had left Isla decided to make herself a strong coffee before waking Finn up for school. Thankfully Angus was still fast asleep in his cot.
She sat with her hands cupped around the mug, feeling disappointed in herself, and exhaled heavily.
‘Now that’s a sigh and a half.’
Isla looked up to see Martha ambling into the kitchen. ‘Headache tablets, I need headache tablets … you’d think I would have got the hang of this drinking lark at my age,’ she gave a small chuckle and pulled out the chair next to Isla.
‘Water?’ Isla asked as she stood up.
Martha managed a nod and gratefully accepted the glass and tablets from Isla as she swallowed down the pills.
‘Did you sleep well?’ asked Martha, picking up the paper that Isla had left on the table.
Isla hugged her mug of coffee and after a second noticed the drops of water on the table. She was crying.
‘What is it, dear? It can’t be that bad.’ Martha squeezed her hand, ‘What’s this all about?’
Isla tried to blink away her tears, but it was no use, her emotions bubbled to the surface and came spilling out. ‘Gran … I’ve done something terrible.’
Martha straightened herself up, her eyes widened.
‘Terrible … what sort of terrible?’
Isla told her gran about checking Drew’s phone, and about how awful she felt.
‘Don’t beat yourself up over it. His change in behaviour has caused you to question him. You’re just reacting to how he’s treating you. First things first, let’s get Finn ready for school. I’ll stay here with Angus and make us breakfast, you need to eat to keep your strength up, and then we’ll have a chat about what’s going on or what you think is going on.’
Isla broke eye contact and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. ‘Thanks, Gran.’
Martha tilted her head, ‘Sometimes things happen for a reason and come to try us … but one thing I’ve learnt in my life so far, there’s no point wasting energy on worrying. You need to ask Drew outright what’s bothering him. Otherwise it will eat away at you both. Maybe he’s just exhausted, and we can’t be happy-go-lucky all the time, can we?’
Isla attempted to hitch a smile on her face, even though she was still feeling awful. ‘You are a wise old woman …’
‘I’ve had a lot of practice,’ said Martha, giving Isla’s hand a quick squeeze.
An hour later Finn was ready for school and kissed his great-grandma on the cheek before slipping on his coat.
‘Remember your promise,’ he said, attempting to wink at Martha, but he didn’t quite get it right and over-exaggerated a blink instead.
She tapped her nose and winked back. ‘I won’t forget.’
‘What’s going on here?’ asked Isla, feeling a little out the loop as she ushered Finn towards the front door.
‘Great-Gran has promised me one of those sticky buns from Bonnie’s teashop after school,’ he said with a huge grin.
‘That sounds like a very nice treat.’ Isla cupped her hand around Finn’s as they began to walk down the path towards school. She could see Drew and Fergus shepherding the cows towards the bottom field.
‘Do you think Daddy will let me help him out on the farm when I’m bigger?’ asked Finn, noticing his dad too.
‘Of course, but it’s very hard work. Early starts, late finishes and you don’t smell very nice most of the time,’ teased Isla, taking another glance towards Drew. Finn’s question had prompted her to think. Drew was so hard-working, the hours he put in at the farm left him exhausted. Maybe he was overworked recently and was lashing out at her because she was the closest one to him? Feeling sombre, she was suddenly sorry for arguing with him lately. Maybe he just needed to vent his frustrations?
‘I think you’ll make an excellent farmer,’ said Isla, smiling down at Finn. ‘Your daddy would love it if you followed in his footsteps.’
Finn screwed up his face. ‘Followed in his footsteps … my feet would need to grow very big.’
Isla laughed, ‘You’re a funny little boy.’
Foxglove Farm had been in Drew’s family for generations and Isla knew Drew hoped his boys would become farmers too one day. She felt privileged to live in this beautiful corner of the Scottish Highlands and waking up to the spectacular scenery was just magical, and if it wasn’t for Drew following in his father’s footsteps Isla had no clue where she would have ended up.
Isla spotted Felicity at the corner of Love Heart Lane. Esme was next to her, swinging her bag and chatting away. In the past Aggie had always walked Esme to school, but since she had suffered with pneumonia at the beginning of the year Fergus wanted to take the pressure off her and now he dropped Esme off at the teashop every morning on his way to work. Isla knew that Felicity cherished the extra time with Esme.
Isla called out to Flick and waved at her as she turned round to greet them. They waited for Isla and Finn to catch up and immediately Finn and Esme were joined at the hip and skipped off up the pavement in front of them both.
‘Finn, mind that puddle,’ but it was too late – his foot landed in the puddle and muddy water splashed up his leg. ‘One day we will get to school without any dramas,’ Isla smiled at him and shook her head jokingly. ‘You can change into your socks from your PE kit.’
‘How’s your head?’ smiled Felicity, stepping towards Isla and linking her arm through hers as they began walking.
‘Another night of not much sleep and it wasn’t down to the alcohol … between feeding Angus and my boomerang of a brain keeping me awake with its to-ing and fro-ing and constant worrying about what is worrying Drew.’ Isla’s voice wobbled. ‘And …’
‘And what?’ interrupted Felicity.
‘I checked his phone.’
‘Isla!’
‘I know, I know it was wrong, but wouldn’t you do the same if Fergus’s behaviour suddenly changed?’
‘I suppose,’ admitted Felicity. ‘And did you find anything?’
Isla shook her head, ‘Absolutely nothing.’
‘Well, that’s something, at least your mind should be at rest now.’
‘But there’s still something bothering him. I know him.’
‘I did question Fergus.’
‘You didn’t say I wanted to know, did you?’ asked Isla, feeling panicky.
‘Of course not! I just said you were feeling tired with the new baby and he said Drew is exhausted too.’
