The Muse of the Department

“Beware,” said the virulent Bixiou one night, the man who would at the same moment give a comrade a hundred francs and stab him to the heart with a sarcasm; “if you go to sleep drunk every night, one day you will wake up mad.”

On the day before, the Friday, the unhappy wretch, although he was accustomed to poverty, felt like a man condemned to death. Of old he would have said:

“Well, the furniture is very old! I will buy new.”

But he was incapable now of literary legerdemain. Publishers, undermined by piracy, paid badly; the newspapers made close bargains with hard-driven writers, as the Opera managers did with tenors that sang flat.

He walked on, his eye on the crowd, though seeing nothing, a cigar in his mouth, and his hands in his pockets, every feature of his face twitching, and an affected smile on his lips. Then he saw Madame de la Baudraye go by in a carriage; she was going to the Boulevard by the Rue de la Chaussee d’Antin to drive in the Bois.

“There is nothing else left!” said he to himself, and he went home to smarten himself up.

That evening, at seven, he arrived in a hackney cab at Madame de la Baudraye’s door, and begged the porter to send a note up to the Countess – a few lines, as follows:

“Would Madame la Comtesse do Monsieur Lousteau the favor of receiving him for a moment, and at once?”

This note was sealed with a seal which as lovers they had both used. Madame de la Baudraye had had the word Parce que engraved on a genuine Oriental carnelian – a potent word – a woman’s word – the word that accounts for everything, even for the Creation.

The Countess had just finished dressing to go to the Opera; Friday was her night in turn for her box. At the sight of this seal she turned pale.

“I will come,” she said, tucking the note into her dress.

She was firm enough to conceal her agitation, and begged her mother to see the children put to bed. She then sent for Lousteau, and received him in a boudoir, next to the great drawing-room, with open doors. She was going to a ball after the Opera, and was wearing a beautiful dress of brocade in stripes alternately plain and flowered with pale blue. Her gloves, trimmed with tassels, showed off her beautiful white arms. She was shimmering with lace and all the dainty trifles required by fashion. Her hair, dressed a la Sevigne, gave her a look of elegance; a necklace of pearls lay on her bosom like bubbles on snow.

“What is the matter, monsieur?” said the Countess, putting out her foot from below her skirt to rest it on a velvet cushion. “I thought, I hoped, I was quite forgotten.”

“If I should reply Never, you would refuse to believe me,” said Lousteau, who remained standing, or walked about the room, chewing the flowers he plucked from the flower-stands full of plants that scented the room.

For a moment silence reigned. Madame de la Baudraye, studying Lousteau, saw that he was dressed as the most fastidious dandy might have been.

“You are the only person in the world who can help me, or hold out a plank to me – for I am drowning, and have already swallowed more than one mouthful – ” said he, standing still in front of Dinah, and seeming to yield to an overpowering impulse. “Since you see me here, it is because my affairs are going to the devil.”

“That is enough,” said she; “I understand.”

There was another pause, during which Lousteau turned away, took out his handkerchief, and seemed to wipe away a tear.

“How much do you want, Etienne,” she went on in motherly tones. “We are at this moment old comrades; speak to me as you would to – to Bixiou.”

“To save my furniture from vanishing into thin air to-morrow morning at the auction mart, eighteen hundred francs! To repay my friends, as much again! Three quarters’ rent to the landlord – whom you know. – My ‘uncle’ wants five hundred francs – ”

“And you! – to live on?”

“Oh! I have my pen – ”

“It is heavier to lift than any one could believe who reads your articles,” said she, with a subtle smile. – “I have not such a sum as you need, but come to-morrow at eight; the bailiff will surely wait till nine, especially if you bring him away to pay him.”

She must, she felt, dismiss Lousteau, who affected to be unable to look at her; she herself felt such pity as might cut every social Gordian knot.

“Thank you,” she added, rising and offering her hand to Lousteau. “Your confidence has done me good! It is long indeed since my heart has known such joy – ”

Lousteau took her hand and pressed it tenderly to his heart.

“A drop of water in the desert – and sent by the hand of an angel! God always does things handsomely!”

He spoke half in jest and half pathetically; but, believe me, as a piece of acting it was as fine as Talma’s in his famous part of Leicester, which was played throughout with touches of this kind. Dinah felt his heart beating through his coat; it was throbbing with satisfaction, for the journalist had had a narrow escape from the hulks of justice; but it also beat with a very natural fire at seeing Dinah rejuvenescent and restored by wealth.

Madame de la Baudraye, stealing an examining glance at Etienne, saw that his expression was in harmony with the flowers of love, which, as she thought, had blossomed again in that throbbing heart; she tried to look once into the eyes of the man she had loved so well, but the seething blood rushed through her veins and mounted to her brain. Their eyes met with the same fiery glow as had encouraged Lousteau on the Quay by the Loire to crumple Dinah’s muslin gown. The Bohemian put his arm round her waist, she yielded, and their cheeks were touching.

“Here comes my mother, hide!” cried Dinah in alarm. And she hurried forward to intercept Madame Piedefer.

“Mamma,” said she – this word was to the stern old lady a coaxing expression which never failed of its effect – “will you do me a great favor? Take the carriage and go yourself to my banker, Monsieur Mongenod, with a note I will give you, and bring back six thousand francs. Come, come – it is an act of charity; come into my room.”

And she dragged away her mother, who seemed very anxious to see who it was that her daughter had been talking with in the boudoir.

Two days afterwards, Madame Piedefer held a conference with the cure of the parish. After listening to the lamentations of the old mother, who was in despair, the priest said very gravely:

“Any moral regeneration which is not based on a strong religious sentiment, and carried out in the bosom of the Church, is built on sand. – The many means of grace enjoined by the Catholic religion, small as they are, and not understood, are so many dams necessary to restrain the violence of evil promptings. Persuade your daughter to perform all her religious duties, and we shall save her yet.”

Within ten days of this meeting the Hotel de la Baudraye was shut up. The Countess, the children, and her mother, in short, the whole household, including a tutor, had gone away to Sancerre, where Dinah intended to spend the summer. She was everything that was nice to the Count, people said.

And so the Muse of Sancerre had simply come back to family and married life; but certain evil tongues declared that she had been compelled to come back, for that the little peer’s wishes would no doubt be fulfilled – he hoped for a little girl.

Gatien and Monsieur Gravier lavished every care, every servile attention on the handsome Countess. Gatien, who during Madame de la Baudraye’s long absence had been to Paris to learn the art of lionnerie or dandyism, was supposed to have a good chance of finding favor in the eyes of the disenchanted “Superior Woman.” Others bet on the tutor; Madame Piedefer urged the claims of religion.

In 1844, about the middle of June, as the Comte de la Baudraye was taking a walk on the Mall at Sancerre with the two fine little boys, he met Monsieur Milaud, the Public Prosecutor, who was at Sancerre on business, and said to him:

“These are my children, cousin.”

“Ah, ha! so these are our children!” replied the lawyer, with a mischievous twinkle.

PARIS, June 1843-August 1844.

ADDENDUM

The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy

Beaupre, Fanny

A Start in Life

Modeste Mignon

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

Berthier, Madame (Felicie Cardot)

Cousin Pons

Bianchon, Horace

Father Goriot

The Atheist’s Mass

Cesar Birotteau

The Commission in Lunacy

Lost Illusions

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

A Bachelor’s Establishment

The Secrets of a Princess

The Government Clerks

Pierrette

A Study of Woman

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

Honorine

The Seamy Side of History

The Magic Skin

A Second Home

A Prince of Bohemia

Letters of Two Brides

The Imaginary Mistress

The Middle Classes

Cousin Betty

The Country Parson

In addition, M. Bianchon narrated the following:

Another Study of Woman

La Grande Breteche

Bixiou, Jean-Jacques

The Purse

A Bachelor’s Establishment

The Government Clerks

Modeste Mignon

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

The Firm of Nucingen

Cousin Betty

The Member for Arcis

Beatrix

A Man of Business

Gaudissart II.

The Unconscious Humorists

Cousin Pons

Camusot

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

A Bachelor’s Establishment

Cousin Pons

Cesar Birotteau

At the Sign of the Cat and Racket

Cardot (Parisian notary)

A Man of Business

Jealousies of a Country Town

Pierre Grassou

The Middle Classes

Cousin Pons

Chargeboeuf, Melchior-Rene, Vicomte de

The Member for Arcis

Falcon, Jean

The Chouans

Cousin Betty

Grosstete (younger brother of F. Grosstete)

The Country Parson

Hulot (Marshal)

The Chouans

Cousin Betty

La Baudraye, Madame Polydore Milaud de

A Prince of Bohemia

Cousin Betty

Lebas

Cousin Betty

Listomere, Baronne de

The Vicar of Tours

Cesar Birotteau

Lousteau, Etienne

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

A Bachelor’s Establishment

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

A Daughter of Eve

Beatrix

Cousin Betty

A Prince of Bohemia

A Man of Business

The Middle Classes

The Unconscious Humorists

Lupeaulx, Clement Chardin des

Eugenie Grandet

A Bachelor’s Establishment

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

The Government Clerks

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

Ursule Mirouet

Maufrigneuse, Duchesse de

The Secrets of a Princess

Modeste Mignon

Jealousies of a Country Town

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

Letters of Two Brides

Another Study of Woman

The Gondreville Mystery

The Member for Arcis

Milaud

Lost Illusions

Nathan, Raoul

Lost Illusions

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

The Secrets of a Princess

A Daughter of Eve

Letters of Two Brides

The Seamy Side of History

A Prince of Bohemia

A Man of Business

The Unconscious Humorists

Nathan, Madame Raoul

Lost Illusions

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

The Government Clerks

A Bachelor’s Establishment

Ursule Mirouet

Eugenie Grandet

The Imaginary Mistress

A Prince of Bohemia

A Daughter of Eve

The Unconscious Humorists

Navarreins, Duc de

A Bachelor’s Establishment

Colonel Chabert

The Thirteen

Jealousies of a Country Town

The Peasantry

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

The Country Parson

The Magic Skin

The Gondreville Mystery

The Secrets of a Princess

Cousin Betty

Nucingen, Baron Frederic de

The Firm of Nucingen

Father Goriot

Pierrette

Cesar Birotteau

Lost Illusions

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life

Another Study of Woman

The Secrets of a Princess

A Man of Business

Cousin Betty

The Unconscious Humorists

Ronceret, Madame Fabien du

Beatrix

Cousin Betty

The Unconscious Humorists

Rouget, Jean-Jacques

A Bachelor’s Establishment

Touches, Mademoiselle Felicite des

Beatrix

Lost Illusions

A Distinguished Provincial at Paris

A Bachelor’s Establishment

Another Study of Woman

A Daughter of Eve

Honorine

Beatrix

Turquet, Marguerite

The Imaginary Mistress

A Man of Business

Cousin Betty

Vandenesse, Comtesse Felix de

A Second Home

A Daughter of Eve

1

The rendering given above is only intended to link the various speeches into coherence; it has no resemblance with the French. In the original, “Font chatoyer les mots.”

“Et quelquefois les morts,” dit Monsieur de Clagny.

“Ah! Lousteau! vous vous donnez de ces R-la (airs-la).”

Literally: “And sometimes the dead.” – “Ah, are those the airs you assume?” – the play on the insertion of the letter R (mots, morts) has no meaning in English.