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“Yes, he does.”
She stared at her stomach and a strand of russet hair swept past her face. Nate’s fingers itched to tuck it back behind her ear, but he resisted the urge. He didn’t know how to comfort her. He’d been raised by a single mother in a small, traditional town, and knew how hard it could be. Lily must be frightened half to death.
“Hank doesn’t hate you. He’s just hurting right now, but he’ll get over it. He was sure happy to see you. He’ll remember that once the shock of your pregnancy wears off.” Nate didn’t know why he was comforting her. When he’d been old enough to understand, his mother had explained that she’d conceived him out of wedlock and become the pariah of the town. Nate’s father had deserted her. Her father disowned her. She’d had no friends and no support. To earn a living, she’d worked as a waitress until she’d died shortly after Nate graduated from high school. The hard life had taken its toll, breaking her body and spirit. Now, Nate hated the thought of Lily Hansen and her innocent child going through the same thing simply because she’d made a mistake.
“I don’t know if he’ll come back to get me or not.” A plump tear rolled down her cheek and she dashed it away.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be here.”
“How do you know?” She frowned at him. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this. I’m really thankful for what you did today, but please leave now, before I make a bigger spectacle of myself than I already have.”
There was no anger in her words, just resignation. Someone had done a pretty good job of alienating this woman to make her so distrustful. Nate was smart enough to realize she wasn’t herself right now, but her words wounded him just the same.
He nodded, wondering why he’d allowed himself to get sucked into her troubles with her father. She was right. He didn’t belong here. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you.”
Turning on his heel, he headed for the door, brushing past Shelby as she came in carrying a pitcher of water.
“You okay, honey?” Shelby asked.
“I’ll be fine,” came Lily’s throaty reply.
Nate left the clinic, planning to return to work. Planning to forget the exchange he’d overheard between Hank and his daughter. Or that he’d ever saved the life of a beautiful woman named Lily Hansen.
Chapter Three
Two days later, Nate gripped the steering wheel of his truck and wondered what he was doing here at the clinic parking lot so early in the morning. He’d called the clinic each day to check up on Lily Hansen and find out when the doctor would release her. So much for forgetting their discussion when she’d asked him to leave.
He must be crazy, but he couldn’t get her off his mind. Couldn’t forget her desperate situation or the fact that she was about to become a mother.
After pacing the floor of his Forest Service house most of the night, he’d decided worrying about the small woman he’d rescued had become a full-time job. What would become of her if her father didn’t return and take her home? That question alone had pushed Nate to drive to the clinic instead of in to work.
He’d been sitting here for almost two hours, watching and waiting. He didn’t have a clue what he’d do if Hank didn’t come for her.
Rolling down the window, Nate inhaled a deep breath of fresh, spring air. Morning sunshine glinted off the hood of his truck and he lifted an arm to shield his eyes. Yellow daffodils filled the flower bed edging the sidewalk. What a beautiful day. Now if Hank would show up, Nate could clear his conscience and be on his way to the office.
A rusty green pickup truck pulled into the parking lot. Nate leaned forward and squinted his eyes. Was that Hank Hansen?
Yes! The truck stopped in front of the automatic double doors of the clinic.
Nate sat back and released a satisfied sigh. Hank had come for his daughter, which meant everything was okay. Otherwise, the doctor wouldn’t let Lily go home today. And for some reason, that pleased Nate enormously.
As predicted, the older man went inside, carrying a small brown bag. Within twenty-five minutes, he reappeared with Shelby pushing Lily in a wheelchair. Lily’s delicate hands were folded over her stomach. Glimmers of sunshine glinted off her long russet hair, showing highlighted streaks of auburn. Even from this distance, Nate remembered the velvet softness of her brown eyes. The smattering of freckles sprinkled across her pert nose. He sure wished he could see her smile just once.
With her feet propped up on the footrest of the chair, she wore a red sweater, a pair of blue jeans and tennis shoes. Hank must have brought the clothing to her. Nate had no idea where Hank had gotten the clothes because Lily had just returned home and all her possessions were still buried in her mud-coated car. At least Hank was taking care of her.
They didn’t notice him as Shelby helped Lily stand. Hank didn’t smile as he opened the door and stood back while Lily climbed inside the old truck. She brushed past her father, staring straight ahead, her spine stiff.
Hostile.
Shelby closed the door and waved goodbye. And then Hank got into the truck and drove away. Not one word passed between them.
Nate wished he dared speak to Lily. At least she had a place to stay, but her relationship with her father didn’t look like it’d improved much. The thought of Hank upsetting Lily in her condition bothered Nate. No matter what was going on between them, Lily’s unborn child needed protection.
So did she.
Starting the ignition, Nate put his vehicle into gear and pressed the accelerator. He tried to tell himself to think about the timber study sitting on his desk at work. Tried not to care.
Maybe he should pay a visit to Emerald Ranch later on. Then again, maybe he should mind his own business and stay far away from Lily Hansen and her father.
* * *
The sound of the rumbling engine filled Lily’s ears as she sat tense in her seat. The silence between her and Dad grew louder by the minute.
She’d clicked on her seat belt before loosening the strap across the swell of her lower abdomen. A blanket of contentment rested over her. Her baby was okay. The little girl’s heartbeat was strong and Lily had felt several hard thumps earlier that morning, the stirrings of life inside of her.
“You hungry?” Dad asked without looking at her.
“No, thank you.”
They drove down Main Street and headed outside of town with several more minutes passing in silence.
“You’re lucky Nate Coates found you when he did. He’s a good man. He rode the professional rodeo circuit before he got injured like me. He won all-around cowboy fifteen years ago. Then he went to college to become a forest ranger.”
Lily bit her tongue to keep from uttering a derogative statement. Tommy had traveled often so he could compete in rodeos. She’d waited at home for his return, wondering why he never seemed to win anything. And then his wife had called. Tommy had been cheating on both of them with one-night stands in every town. Buckle babes who followed the rodeo circuit looking for nothing but a good time. When Lily had confronted Tommy with the truth, he’d…
No! She wouldn’t think about that now. Never again would Lily subject herself to that kind of treatment. Maybe she deserved it, but her child didn’t.
In her younger years, Dad had been gone all the time, competing on the professional circuit. Until a bull had gored his shoulder and ended his career. Lily had no desire to be friends with a rodeo-going forest ranger. No sirree.
“I suppose you’ll need some new clothes,” Dad said. “Your bedroom’s just as you left it, but I doubt there’re many clothes in the closet that’ll fit you now.”
“I’ll make out fine with what’s there, Dad.” Even if she had to wash the clothes on her back every night, she would not ask her father for another single thing other than food. She remembered she had some oversize T-shirts in one of her dresser drawers and would wear them.
He cleared his throat. “We’ll drive into Reno for some shopping. Maybe on Friday, after you’ve had a couple of days to rest.”
“I don’t want to put you out.”
“You’ve got to have clothes.” His stubborn tone sounded final.
She angled her body to face him and reached out to briefly touch his arm. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t know where else to go. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently, but I can’t. I can only apologize and move forward. Please believe me when I say I’ve changed.”
He blinked and licked his lips. “Well, I suppose you showed good judgment in coming home at least. I’m glad I’m good for something.”
Lily tensed. “Don’t say that, Dad. You’re the best horseman I’ve ever met.”
He snorted. “Just not much of a father.”
“That’s not true. You’re my father. And if I wished you away, I’d have to wish myself away because I’m a part of you and Mom. And I won’t do that, no matter how bad things get.”
“Sometimes we bring hardships on ourselves, girl. It’s no one’s fault but our own.”
“Dad, I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a woman. And you’re right. I’ve done a lot of things I regret. But now I want to start fresh. All I’m asking is for you to help me do that. I won’t let you down again.”
He looked startled but didn’t comment. She didn’t want to argue with him, not about this. She knew her father to be a man of his word. And once he told her he’d help her, she knew he meant it. But he obviously didn’t like the circumstances. Neither did she.
He coughed, a deep hacking sound.
“Do you have a cold?” she asked.
“Something like that. It’s getting better now.”
As they passed through Emerald Valley, Lily tensed, the memory of the flood rushing through her with icy fingers. But Dad didn’t take the normal route. Instead, they passed over the river on a tall Bailey bridge farther downstream.
“When did they put this up?” she asked.
“Two weeks ago. With all the flooding we’ve been having, the ranger made some calls. The governor contacted the Army Corps of Engineers, who brought in men to build several bridges like this so we ranchers have a safe way in and out of the valley. Even the school bus takes this route. You just didn’t know about it.”
“Well, I do now.” And it’d be a long time before she willingly drove through the area where she’d been caught in the flash flood.
Once they passed the flood zone, she relaxed and took a moment to study Dad more closely. The pasty, leathered skin and deep creases around his eyes. The calloused hands and gray hair. She’d been gone a long time. Too long. When had her father gotten so old?
“I reckon you’re planning to keep the baby, right?” he asked.
Hearing her own question voiced out loud made her pause. “I’m thinking of giving her up for adoption once she’s born.”
“It’s a girl?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I’m glad you decided not to get rid of her.”
The thought made Lily stare. She could never do such a thing. She just couldn’t. “Abortion was never an option for me.”
“Harrumph. At least your mother and I taught you some good things, then.”
A bristle of resentment shivered up her spine, but she realized what he said was true. She just didn’t want to argue with him anymore. She wanted peace. “Yes, you did, Daddy. But more than that, I couldn’t do such a thing. A couple of years ago, I worked with a woman who was adopted and she loved her parents.”
His bushy eyebrows lifted. “Why don’t you want to raise the kid yourself?”
The truck hit a pothole and Lily gripped the arm rest tight. “I don’t have a father for my baby and I think kids deserve two parents, if possible. So I figured adoption was the best choice.”
“Where is the dad?” Dad’s voice rose slightly, but she could tell he was doing an admirable job of controlling his voracious temper.
“He…he’s gone. And I wouldn’t go back to him even if he asked me to.”
“Why not? He was good enough to father your child. Wasn’t he good enough to be a husband?”
Heat flushed her cheeks. She didn’t want to tell Dad about the abuse she’d suffered at Tommy’s hands, or that he was already married with children. Knowing Dad’s temper, he might hunt down Tommy and try to kill him. “No, Dad, he’s not. I just need a safe place to stay until the baby’s born.”
“Well, I suppose I can offer you that.”
Again, a blaze of gratitude speared her heart. In spite of what she’d done, the Lord had brought her safely home. He’d placed good people in her path to help her return. “Thanks, Dad.”
He cleared his voice but didn’t speak. How she wished he’d say something kind to her. Even that he loved her. When he’d hugged her two days ago in the clinic, it’d been the happiest—and saddest—day of her life.
“I can’t say I like the idea of giving my own grandbaby away to strangers,” he said.
“I still have time to think it over. It’s not final.”
“I don’t know what there is to think over. It doesn’t sit right with me to give away one of our own family members.”
“I just want to do what’s right for this child. I’m not abandoning her. I’m thinking about her future.”
“We don’t throw family away.”
Was that what Lily was doing if she gave her baby up for adoption? Throwing her child away?
No, Dad didn’t understand. Lily wanted her baby to be happy. It’d be so easy for her to keep the baby, but she wanted to do what the Lord desired. And because Lily had messed up her life so much, she wasn’t sure at all that she was the best mother for her child.
Taking a deep breath, Lily let it go. Coming home wasn’t going to be easy. She didn’t want to be forced into doing something she didn’t feel was right, yet she didn’t want to argue with Dad, either. Thankfully they didn’t need to deal with the issue today.
Chapter Four
As Dad and Lily pulled into the yard at Emerald Ranch, a black-and-white dog trotted from the barn to greet them with several loud barks. Lily looked around with interest. Everything appeared the same, except a long stable had been erected near the corrals. And the place had a slightly disorderly appearance in upkeep. A few rails had fallen off one of the fences and the gate hung on its hinges. The enormous red barn sat off to one side, needing a fresh coat of paint. So did the white house. Never in all her growing-up years had Dad ever let the blue trim reach the point of peeling.
No vegetable garden had been quartered off at the side of the house and furrowed for planting. It wasn’t too late to get some seeds in the ground and Lily made a mental note to take care of that soon. Her mouth watered at the thought of homegrown tomatoes and yellow crookneck squash. She didn’t say anything, but couldn’t help wondering why Dad had let the place fall into disrepair.
Corrals surrounded the barn for working horses, all empty except two. A number of pretty mares and younger colts lifted their heads from a trough of hay long enough to blink at them before going back to feeding. Where was all the livestock Dad used to have around the place? The cows, horses, pigs and chickens?
He parked the truck beside the stable and got out, moving with less agility than she remembered.
“Hi, there, Beans.” He ruffled the dog’s ears and coughed again.
His boot heels tapped against the wooden porch. White wicker chairs sat angled to one side with a small table to rest glasses of lemonade in the evening. Lily remembered sitting here almost every day when she’d been young. Now, the chairs needed a fresh coat of paint and new cushions.
As they walked into the house, Lily was overwhelmed by the scent of pine. Memories flooded her as she gazed around the dingy room. The curtains were drawn closed. Magazines, papers and dirty dishes littered the coffee table. A thick layer of dust coated the end tables and bookshelf. From the looks of the worn carpet, it hadn’t been vacuumed in some time. When had Daddy last cleaned?
He led her back to her bedroom and she was surprised to find it just as she’d left it, except for a layer of dust. The small window where she’d sat daydreaming…and used to sneak out of the house after a fight with Dad. The stuffed animals and dolls crowding her bed, which no longer held any appeal to her. The purple afghan Mom had made for her sixteenth birthday, just before she died. Lily planned to keep that forever.
Without thinking, she reached a hand up to touch Mom’s large engagement ring, which she wore on a chain around her neck. Dad had given the ring to Lily the day they’d buried her mother and she’d never taken it off since. She’d thought of pawning the ring for money to take care of herself and the baby but hadn’t been able to do so. The warm weight of the ring beneath her shirt gave her comfort, as though Mom were always with her, watching over her.
Lily had sure let her mother down this time. And Dad, too. Lily didn’t deserve their affection. And yet she realized they both loved her as unconditionally as she loved her unborn child. She knew now that even Dad with his irascible temper still loved her.
“Once you get settled, I’d like you to meet someone,” he said.
She lifted her hands in a careless gesture. “I’m settled now, Dad. I have nothing to put away.”
“Okay, then. Come on.” He turned and she followed him outside to the stable.
