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“You all did gut work,” Jeremiah said.
Eli gave a slight nod, then went to hitch his horse to his buggy. Lizzie watched him for a moment. Out of the blue, he had returned just over three weeks ago, asking to be reinstated in the Gmay, their Amish community.
If he had been a full member of the church before his decision to live among the Englisch, his choice to leave them would have been seen as a breaking of his faith and he would have been shunned. But because he’d never been baptized into their faith, he’d been welcomed back with open arms, no questions asked. Just a blind acceptance that he really wanted to be here. But Lizzie wasn’t convinced. Eli had broken her heart. Leaving her the day before they were to be baptized together.
When they’d been only fourteen, he’d proposed marriage and she’d accepted. But long before then, he’d whispered about attending college to learn more about science and biology. Their eighth-grade education had never been enough for Eli, yet she had thought he’d made peace with the life they had. The life they’d intended to share. Lizzie hadn’t believed he’d really leave. At least not without saying goodbye.
Annie and Marty beamed at their father’s praise. They all felt a great weight lifted from their shoulders. The warm weather was an illusion. When they’d first settled in Colorado eight years earlier, they hadn’t realized the growing season was much shorter than their previous home in Ohio. A killing frost could strike at any time. With their apples picked, they could now turn their efforts to other pressing matters.
To the south, the alfalfa was ready for cutting. The last of the season. They would store the hay in their barn to feed their own livestock through the long winter. Daed would mow it tomorrow. The weather should hold long enough for the hay to dry, then Lizzie would assist with the baling. Between now and then, she planned to bottle applesauce. They no longer needed Eli’s help and she wouldn’t have to see him every day. Though it wasn’t charitable of her, she counted that as a blessing.
“Komm, my girls. Let’s go,” Daed called.
Annie giggled as her father swung her into the buggy. Marty scrambled inside with Lizzie. Daed gathered the leather leads into his hands and slapped them against Billie’s back, giving a stiff nod of parting to Eli.
“Sehn dich schpeeder,” Eli called as he lifted one hand.
See you later? Lizzie hoped not, then felt guilty for being mean-spirited. The little girls waved goodbye, but not Lizzie. It still hurt her deeply to think that Eli had loved worldly pursuits more than he’d loved their faith and Gott. More than he’d loved her.
“Heemet!”Daed called.
Home! With a cozy barn and hay awaiting him, Billie had plenty of incentive to take off at a brisk walk. The buggy-wagon wobbled as they traveled along the narrow dirt road leading out of the orchard.
Glancing over her shoulder, Lizzie noticed that Eli had his horse hitched up to his buggy and wasn’t far behind them.
When they reached the paved county road, Daed pulled the horse up and looked both ways. A couple of cars whizzed past, spraying them through their open windows with a fine mist of grit. Once it was clear, he proceeded forward, setting the horse into a comfortable trot along the far-right shoulder. Within minutes, they would be home. Marty and Annie leaned against Lizzie and yawned. The gentle rocking of the buggy and the rhythmic beat of hooves lulled Lizzie to close her eyes.
She awoke with a start as the buggy-wagon jerked forward. A sickening crash filled her ears. Apples went flying, peppering the road. Lizzie reached for Marty, but found herself airborne. Bloodcurdling screams split the air. The hard ground slammed up to meet her. Pain burst through her entire body, a lance of agony spearing her head. She cried out, then choked, the air knocked from her lungs. Her brain was spinning, her limbs frozen with stinging shock. One thought filled her mind. Her familye! She had to help them.
Lifting her head, she stared at the remnants of the wood and fiberglass buggy-wagon, strewn across the county road. The fluorescent slow-moving-vehicle symbol that had been affixed to the back of their wagon now lay broken beside her. In a glance, she saw a blue sedan parked nearby, the right front fender smashed in. She blinked as a teenage boy got out of the car, his eyes wide with panic. In his hand, he held his cell phone. Had he been texting while driving?
Lying below Lizzie in the ditch, Billie snorted and thrashed in his harness. Giving a shrill whinny, the horse lunged to his feet, the laces hanging limp from his back. The poor beast. At least he didn’t appear to have a broken leg.
Lizzie wiped moisture from her forehead, then gasped when she discovered it was blood. She scanned the road, looking for Daed and her sisters. From her vantage point, she couldn’t see any of them. Her vision swam before her. She couldn’t focus. Falling back, she lay there for a moment, trying to fight off the woozy darkness, but despite her best efforts, it crowded in on her.
When she came to, Lizzie realized she must have fainted. She had no idea how long she’d been out. A rush of memory made her jerk upright, then cry out with anguish. Her entire body hurt, a searing pain in her head. She must get up. Must find her father, Annie and Marty.
“Schtopp! Just rest.” A soft, masculine voice came from above her.
Blinking her eyes, she saw Eli kneeling over her. In a glance, she took in his somber expression filled with concern. He must have come upon them right after the crash.
“Vie gehts?” he asked in a soothing tone roughened by emotion.
“Ja, I’m fine. Marty and Annie. Daed. Help them,” she said.
“They’re all alive. The Englischer has called for help on his cell phone. An ambulance is coming from the hospital in town,” he said.
“Where...where is my familye?” She sat up slowly to look for them, her head whirling from another dizzy spell.
“I didn’t want the girls to see you until I was certain you were all right. They’re very frightened as it is. I’ll bring them to you now.” He stood, looked both ways, then hurried across the road.
He soon returned, holding the hands of her sistersas he crossed the busy road. He hesitated as a car and truck whipped past, swerving to avoid the debris scattered across the asphalt. One of the vehicles stopped and asked if they needed help. The Englisch boy went to speak with the driver.
“Lizzie!” Annie cried.
Both little girls fell into her arms, sobbing and hugging her tight. Cupping their faces with her hands, she looked them over, kissing their scratched cheeks, assuring herself that they were safe. Their faces and arms were covered with abrasions, their dresses soiled, but they otherwise seemed fine.
“There, my liebchen. All will be well,” Lizzie soothed the girls for a moment. Then, she looked at Eli. “But where is my vadder?”
“He cannot be moved just now. He has a serious compound fracture to his lower left leg. I believe his tibia is all that is broken. I have splinted the leg and stopped the bleeding, then wrapped him in a warm blanket I had in my buggy.”
A broken leg! But how did Eli know what to do? A blaze of panic scorched her. They’d already lost Mamm. What would they do if they lost Daed too?
“I must go to him.” She tried to stand.
“Ne, just sit still a moment. There’s too much traffic on the road and you are also hurt. I believe you have a concussion.” Eli held out a hand to stop her.
Lizzie recoiled, fearing he might touch her. How could he know she had a concussion? He wasn’t a doctor. Or was he? She no longer knew much about this man. Was four years long enough for him to go to medical school? She had no knowledge of such things.
She reached up and touched her forehead. A wave of nausea forced her to sit back. When she drew away her hand, fresh blood stained her fingers. No wonder a horrible pain throbbed behind her eyes and her brain felt foggy. Maybe Eli was right.
“May I...may I wrap a cloth around your head? It’s important that we stop the bleeding. I’ve already done all I can for Jeremiah,” Eli said, his voice tentative.
“Ja,” she consented, giving in to common sense.
She sat perfectly still as he removed her blood-soaked kerchief. Her waist-length hair had come undone from the bun at the nape of her neck and she felt embarrassed to have him see its length. It was something special she was keeping for her husband on their wedding night. Thankfully, he politely averted his gaze as he opened the first aid kit.
“Where did that come from?” She pointed at the box.
He answered without looking up. “My buggy.”
“How do you know so much about medical care?”
He shrugged, his gaze briefly meeting hers. “I went through the training and am a certified paramedic. I’m specially trained to help in critical situations like this.”
So, he wasn’t a doctor, but he might as well be. Although she’d heard about Amish paramedics and firefighters working back east in Lancaster County and Pennsylvania, she’d never met one before and was fairly certain her church elders wouldn’t approve. Higher learning was shunned by her people because it often led to Hochmut, the pride of men.
“Is...is that what you’ve been doing among the Englisch?” she asked.
He nodded. “Ja, it’s how I earned my living.”
So now she knew. He must have worked hard in school to learn such a skill. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to know things, but neither did she approve of him casting aside his faith for such worldly pursuits.
Eli cleansed her wound with an antiseptic towelette. His touch was warm and gentle as he wrapped her head with soft, white gauze.
“You will need three or four stitches in the gash.” He gave her a soulful look, as if he could see deep inside her heart and knew all the hurt and longings she kept hidden there.
She looked away.
Sirens heralded the arrival of two ambulances and some police cars. Lizzie lost track of time as the officers set up a roadblock with flares and took their statements. She watched Eli untangle the harness and lead Billie out of the ditch. Speaking to the distressed horse in a low murmur, he smoothed his hands over the animal’s trembling legs. He then salvaged the bruised apples and put the filled crates into his own buggy.
When the medics loaded them into the two ambulances, Annie leaned close against Lizzie’s side, her eyes red from crying. “Is Daedi going to be all right?”
Lizzie reached over and took the child’s hand. “The Lord’s will be done, boppli. We must trust in Him to get us through.”
As she spoke these words, she tried to believe them. If Daed died, could she forgive the boy who had caused the accident? Christ had forgiven all and she must do likewise, but she wasn’t sure her faith was that strong.
“I’ll look after Billie.” Eli stood at the foot of the ambulance, holding the lead lines to the horse’s halter. His expressive eyes were filled with a haunting unease, as though he were anxious to leave.
“Danke.” Lizzie gave a brisk nod.
He stepped back and the medics closed the double doors. Lizzie laid her head back and closed her eyes. And in her heart, she carried a silent prayer that they would be all right.
* * *
The following day, Eli tugged on the leather leads as he veered Jeremiah Beiler’s three draft horses slightly to the left. The big Percherons did as he asked, plodding steadily down the row of alfalfa as they pulled the hay mower. The low rumble of the gas-powered engine filled the air. Eli glanced at the position of the sun, unable to believe it was afternoon already. Another hour and he would finish this chore. Jeremiah’s hay would be secure. It would take a few more days for the hay to dry, and then he would gather it into bales.
“Gee!” he called, turning the team to the right.
A movement brought his eye toward the red log house where Lizzie and her familye lived. Turning slightly, he saw her and two men heading toward him, stepping high as they crossed the rutted field. Even from this distance, Eli recognized the slant of Bishop Yoder’s black felt hat. His companion was Darrin Albrecht, the deacon of their congregation. Both men were dressed identically in black frock coats and broadfall pants. Eli had gotten word of the Beilers’ accident to the bishop late last night. No doubt the elders had come to check on Jeremiah’s familye.
Lizzie accompanied them, wearing a blue dress and crisp black apron. As they drew near, Eli saw a fresh gauze bandage had been taped to her forehead, no doubt hiding several stitches from her visit to the hospital. She and the little girls must have just gotten home. He’d seen the Englisch midwife’s car pull in the driveway an hour earlier. She must have given them a ride from town.
Sunlight glinted against Lizzie’s golden hair, the length of it pinned into a bun beneath her starched prayer kapp. One rebellious strand framed her delicate oval face and she quickly tucked it back behind her ear. Her blue eyes flashed with unease, her stern expression and brisk stride belying her injuries. Eli was eager to hear how she was feeling and also receive news of her father’s condition.
Pulling the giant horses to a standstill, he killed the engine and hopped down off his seat. As he walked the short distance to meet them, he rolled his long sleeves down his forearms.
“Hallo,” he called.
He glanced at Lizzie, trying to assess her mood. Their gazes clashed, then locked for several moments. As always, he blinked at the startling blue of her eyes. Her expression showed a fierce emotion he didn’t understand. A mingling of repugnance and determination.
“Guder nummidaag,” Bishop Yoder said.
“It looks like you’ve been busy today.” Deacon Albrecht surveyed the cut field, as though evaluating the quality of Eli’s work.
After being gone four years, Eli was surprised at how easily farming came back to him. It felt good to work the land again. It felt good to be needed. Holding the lead lines in his hands as the powerful horses pulled the mower had given him a sense of purpose he hadn’t felt since Shannon’s death seven months earlier.
Thinking of his sweet fiancée made his heart squeeze painfully and a gloomy emptiness filled his chest.
“You have done gut work for the Beilers,” Bishop Yoder said. “They will need the strength of a man on this place for a few more months, until Jeremiah is back on his feet. He will have surgery today and will be in the hospital awhile longer, until the swelling goes down so they can cast the leg.”
Eli nodded, wondering what the bishop was getting at.
Bishop Yoder placed his hand on Eli’s shoulder, his gray eyes filled with kindness, but also an intensity that couldn’t be ignored. “I’ve spoken with your father. He agrees that you should work here for the time being, caring for Jeremiah’s farm as if it were your own. But with this request comes a great responsibility and commitment to your faith. I know you have told me you are recommitted to Gott. Are you certain our way of life is what you want?”
Eli hesitated. With Shannon gone and his confidence shattered, he had needed to get away from Denver and all the reminders of her death. Here in Riverton, he hoped to find the peace he so desperately longed for and a way to forgive himself for what had happened.
His heart still felt unsure, but he was determined to stay the course and wait for certainty to come. He couldn’t go back, so he’d have to find a way for himself here.
“I am.” Eli nodded, his throat dry as sandpaper. Speaking the words out loud helped solidify his commitment.
“I just spoke with your mudder. She is inside the house, almost finished bottling applesauce for Lizzie,” the bishop said.
Eli nodded, forcing himself to meet the man’s gaze. “Ja, and my vadder was here earlier this morning, helping with the milking.”
“You all have been most kind.” Lizzie stared at the ground, her words low and uncertain.
Eli felt a wave of compassion. “It’s our pleasure to help. You would do the same for us.”
Or at least, he hoped she would. Her manner was so offish toward him that he wasn’t sure. When he’d left four years earlier, he’d written to her often, at first. Not once had she replied. That alone told him she wanted nothing to do with him. After a year and a half of trying, he’d finally moved on with his life, meeting and falling in love with Shannon.
“Gut,” the bishop continued. “Tomorrow at church, I will announce your plans to be baptized, so you can participate in the instruction classes again. They’ve already begun, but since you took them once before, I think we can catch you up. Then you’ll be prepared for your baptism in a few months.”
Lizzie looked at him and a rush of doubt speared Eli’s chest. The last time he’d attended the classes, he’d been a rebellious kid and hadn’t paid much attention. In those days, all he could think about was getting out of here. Was he ready for such a commitment now? Once he was baptized, there would be no turning back. But he had the next few months to decide.
“I’m happy to assist the Beilers,” he said.
A sudden hesitation struck him. A quick glance in Lizzie’s direction told him that she didn’t want him here. Her expression held a heavy dose of disapproval. As if she thought he was tainted now, because he’d been living among the Englisch.
He’d loved her so much when they were teenagers, but he’d had to leave. Had to find out what the world could offer. He’d desperately wanted a rumspringa—that rite of passage during adolescence when Amish teenagers experienced freedom of choice without the rules of the Ordnung to hold them back. But he’d never meant to hurt Lizzie. In fact, he’d tried to get her to come join him. If only she had responded to his letters. Instead, each one had been returned unopened.
The bishop smiled. “Ach, we’ll see you tomorrow then. Willkomm back, my brother.”
Eli nodded, but didn’t speak. A hard lump had lodged in his throat. He felt grateful to be here, but the reasons for the gratitude were murky. Was he truly glad to be back among his people, or was he just relieved to be away from reminders of Shannon? He’d talked to other paramedics who had lost a patient in their care, but it hadn’t prepared him for the shock. And to make matters worse, the first patient he’d lost had been someone he dearly loved. Someone who was counting on him to keep her safe. And he’d failed miserably. That’s when he realized how much he missed his familye. Seeking respite from the world, he’d come home. But thus far, peace of mind had continued to elude him.
Reaching up, he tugged on the brim of his straw hat where a letter from Tom Caldwell was safely tucked away. Tom had been Eli’s former boss at the hospital in Denver. His letter was a silent reminder of the Englisch life Eli had left behind. And though it felt good to be back in Riverton, whenever Eli thought of never being a paramedic again, a sick feeling settled in his gut.
“If you have faith, all will be well with your familye. Never forget that,” the bishop spoke kindly to Lizzie.
“Ja. Danke, Bishop,” Lizzie said, her voice holding a note of respect.
The church elders walked away, leaving Eli and Lizzie alone. A horrible, swelling silence followed. Lizzie looked at the ground, looked at the mountains surrounding the valley, looked anywhere but at Eli.
“You are truly all right?” Eli finally asked, peering at Lizzie’s forehead.
“Ja, I’m fine,” she said, briefly touching the bandage as if it embarrassed her.
“I didn’t expect this.” He gestured toward the retreating men.
“Neither did I.” Her voice wobbled.
“Are you sure you’re okay with me working here?” he asked.
She glanced at him. “I don’t have much choice.”
True. With her daed in the hospital and the bishop’s stamp of approval, she would have to accept Eli’s aid.
“I never meant to hurt you, Lizzie. I know I left rather suddenly,” he said.
