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‘I’ll get on to these straight away, Dr McColl,’ Sheila called after him since he’d already left the main office to check all patients had left the premises. At this time of the evening, as the working day was winding down, the hubbub outside the treatment rooms had usually died down, but there were still a few voices ringing out from the reception area. Any out-of-hours emergencies now should have been referred to the hospital or the doctor on call for the area.
The notion that his perfectly executed schedule had been thrown into disarray ploughed grooves across Fraser’s forehead even before he was met with the debacle in the waiting area.
‘Lift your side up a little higher. Left a bit. How does that look now? Is it straight?’ Iona was balanced on a chair, trying to pin a gaudy gold-foil garland to the ceiling, with Victoria, the receptionist, as her partner in crime.
‘What the—?’ Fraser stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Iona, barefoot and on tiptoe, breaking every health and safety rule in the workplace. He was in danger of hyperventilating as he did a quick risk assessment of the scene.
‘Oh, hi, Fraser. I thought we could brighten the place up and make it look less sterile in here.’ Unlike the rest of the staff, who quickly made themselves scarce, Iona carried on decorating as though she was perfectly entitled to do as she pleased. It was one thing managing her own caseload but she didn’t have any authority outside that.
‘It’s supposed to be sterile!’ Fraser didn’t want to lose his temper when that would be a sign he wasn’t in control. Although the garish garlands draped across every available space, transforming the beige room into an eyesore of gold and red, hinted he hadn’t asserted his authority here as much as he’d believed.
‘Lighten up, Fraser. It’s Christmas. If you’re worried about the cost, it’s coming from my own pocket, not yours.
‘Fraser.’ This was exactly why she rubbed him up the wrong way. Iona gave no thought for the rules or decorum in the workplace, or anywhere else for that matter. The patients loved her easygoing persona but for Fraser that free spirit vibe was unsettling, as was anything that didn’t fit into his idea of conformity. It upset that safe environment he was trying to set up here, and quite frankly he didn’t know how to handle it.
Fraser had mistakenly believed Caroline had been the one person who’d understood him when they’d made their plans to get married and settle down into quiet family life, but when his father had died and he’d inherited the family estate he’d discovered the truth. Once Fraser had the means to make those dreams a reality Caroline had confessed they’d been nothing more than an idea she’d been paying lip service to, not a legitimate option. That level of deception had ultimately ended their relationship and Fraser’s hope for the future.
This was different, though. Iona wasn’t a love interest, so her casual attitude to life shouldn’t bother him on a personal level, but she was a staff member and they had rules in place here for a reason.
‘I appreciate the gesture,’ Fraser said diplomatically, doing his best to remain calm. Iona didn’t know him personally so wouldn’t understand the issues he had with the whole palaver at this time of the year.
They’d never gone in for the whole over-the-top lead up to Christmas at boarding school and the death of his mother on Christmas Eve had cemented Fraser’s dislike of the season. It was a reminder of the childhood he’d lost and the family that had never recovered from the devastation of cancer. Now he dreaded that last week in December more than ever since it was also the anniversary of his break-up with Caroline.
He’d made the mistake of trying to embrace Christmas last year in an effort to make it special for her with an over-the-top marriage proposal, including a horse-drawn sleigh and carol singers serenading them along the ride. Only she’d turned him down on the basis that he was ‘being fake’. Fraser couldn’t win and was now even less likely to get caught up in the fuss, reverting back to his true Grinchy self, unwilling to be one of those people who lost their minds for the sake of one anti-climactic day.
On the rare occasions his parents had retrieved Fraser for the holidays it had been a non-event anyway. They’d gone through the motions without ever getting bogged down in the sentiment. Whilst he’d yearned for this infantile nonsense as a child far from home, he’d learned to live without it.
Iona carried on making her mark on the recently painted ceiling, humming Christmas carols and reminding Fraser what a very long month December could be when you weren’t in the festive spirit.
‘As I said, I appreciate the gesture but we can’t have all of this cluttering up the surgery.’ He would’ve told her that if she’d sought his permission in the first place.
‘I think the patients will love it. It gives them something to focus on other than their aches and pains.’
Sure. They’d all end up with tinsel blindness on top of everything else.
‘I’m sorry, it’ll all have to go. It’s a health and safety hazard.’ Fraser began to detach the string of fairy lights from the reception desk.
‘Okay, I’ll give you the lights. They haven’t been assessed by a registered electrician but they are bonny. Perhaps I could bung more tinsel there instead. I have some neon pink somewhere...’ Iona clearly wasn’t going to give this up without a fight and, as had become the custom, Fraser would have to get tough to have his opinion heard.
He ripped down the cardboard Father Christmas she’d stuck to the counter and hoped it wouldn’t leave any sticky marks behind. ‘It’s all going to have to come down.’
Iona stopped this time. ‘You’re kidding me, right?’
‘I don’t kid.’ He reached his hand up and tugged the large blue and silver foil star dangling from the ceiling until the tack holding it in place dislodged and pinged to the floor. This was exactly what he was talking about. One drawing pin in the wrong person’s foot and they could be facing a lawsuit. Luckily for them both he spotted the gold pin glinting on the dark carpet and retrieved it before it damaged more than his peace of mind.
‘What harm can a few decorations do?’ Iona faced him, her displeasure flaring in her big brown eyes and her full lips pursed into a tight line. It didn’t thrill him to note he was the one with the power to steal away the twinkling smile she wore for everyone else.
‘They’re a breeding ground for germs with so many sick people coming and going. Then there’s the dust. Think of how many asthma patients we have. Our appointment list is full enough without putting it under more stress.’ Deep down Fraser knew he was grasping for excuses but coming into the clinic every morning and being reminded of the worst days of his life was too much for him to bear.
‘Okay. Okay. I get it. I was only trying to do something nice. Talk about dampening the mood,’ she muttered as though he wasn’t there, and began dismantling her ceiling display.
‘I know, but perhaps next time you could check with me first instead of going rogue?’ Fraser understood her intentions had been good and would’ve preferred not to fuel this animosity between them, but Iona’s spur-of-the-moment actions were infuriating when they impeached on his carefully laid plans and tugged on emotions that needed to remain dormant for the remainder of this dreaded month.
‘Yes, sir.’ With her anger clearly still bubbling away, Iona yanked down the bunting she’d only finished hanging.
Fraser watched in horror as she tottered on the chair, clearly off balance, her arms freewheeling in the air as she fell.
With lightning-fast reflexes he rushed over and caught her in his arms before she hit the floor. Iona’s yelp softened to a gasp as he hooked a hand under her knees and one under her arms. Instinctively she latched her arms around his neck but that contact and the strong grip she had on him almost startled him into dropping her again.
The adrenaline rush was making them both breathe heavily and in that moment, holding her in his arms, their faces almost touching, it was easy to forget what they’d been fighting over, or even where they were.
She weighed very little, reminding him how delicate she appeared to be beyond the bravado. Despite her petite frame, she projected herself as a larger-than-life character but, with their clashing personalities stripped away for the time being, he was reacting solely as a man with an attractive woman pressed against him and was too stunned to do anything other than enjoy the sensation.
Iona blinked first. ‘You can put me down now. I think I’m safe.’
‘Sure.’ Fraser abruptly set her back on her feet and tried to compose himself. ‘Like I said, a health and safety nightmare.’
He ignored her tutting as she tore down the rest of the decorations, thankful that this moment of madness had passed, letting normal, tense service resume between them. It was easier to view her as a threat to his plans for a new, improved workplace than through any inappropriate romantic haze.
CHAPTER TWO (#u6142c713-cbd1-5409-9f02-dbe1f719002f)
AS SHE DID every morning, Iona arrived at the clinic with plenty of time to spare before she was officially on the clock. Due to the unpredictable nature of midwifery, scheduled meal breaks were impossible and she often had to eat on the road, if she managed to eat at all. So having a quick cup of tea and a bowl of porridge in the morning as she checked her schedule for the day ensured Iona had at least one proper meal in peace.
Today she was especially keen to get on the road as she’d booked the afternoon off. It was moving day and she was bursting with the excitement of transferring her belongings from her rental to her very own home. It wouldn’t take more than a few runs in the car with the meagre possessions she had, and some of her male colleagues had volunteered to give her a hand with the heavy lifting. The sooner Iona got around her patients, the sooner she’d get settled into her own place.
Except as she lifted her first spoonful of thick, oaty goodness to her mouth, a note in the blood results of one of her patients immediately threw her plans into chaos. Iona shovelled in her breakfast as quickly as she could while digesting the news that had come in.
At around five days old, babies were offered newborn blood spot screening, or a heel-prick test, where a small amount of blood is taken to screen for certain genetic disorders. In this case, the baby had tested positive for one of the listed conditions—phenylketonuria, or PKU for short. Although Iona had done some research into the illness during the course of her training, it was a rare metabolic condition she’d never personally come across before, with approximately only one baby in ten thousand in the UK a sufferer.
The genetic mutation for phenylketonuria was passed on by both parents who might not even have been aware they were carriers. PKU patients, unable to break down the amino acid phenylalanine, a building block of protein, could have a build-up of protein leading to brain damage without adherence to a strict low-protein diet. It was imperative the child be referred to the metabolic unit at the hospital as soon as possible to begin treatment and prevent any long-term damage.
Although modern advances thankfully kept the condition under control with the restricted diet and amino acid supplement to ensure normal development, Iona was aware the news would have a great impact on the family. Every new mum wanted to believe her baby was perfect and to be told otherwise could be difficult to accept and overwhelming.
She took a gulp of tea before pouring the rest down the sink and gave the dishes a quick rinse. There wasn’t liable to be a spare minute today but she had one more thing to do before she could hit the road and she wasn’t looking forward to it.
Every time she had thought about Dr McColl since last night her blood had boiled, sure his intense dislike of the season was to spite her. She’d made no secret of her desire to make this Christmas one to remember but Fraser seemed determined to thwart those efforts at every turn.
Iona told herself it was this battle of wills that made her react so passionately when she thought of him and nothing to do with whatever frisson she’d imagined when he’d caught her in his arms yesterday. She was no longer the kind of woman who let common sense be overridden by such a romantic cliché. It would take more than being swept off her feet and a handsome face for her to fall for another dominant male. Her sense of self was now defined by her home and her job, not by some fool idea of romance, love and that non-existent fairy-tale ending.
With a deep breath and a sharp knock on the door, she entered Fraser’s room out of courtesy rather than a desire to see him for the first time today. In too much of a hurry to waste time on pleasantries, she didn’t wait for him to acknowledge her.
‘I thought I should give you the heads-up on one of your patients, Marie Gillen. Her baby has tested positive for phenylketonuria.’
There was a slight rise of Fraser’s eyebrows before surprise was overtaken by furious typing on the computer keyboard.
‘Is this something you’ve encountered before?’ he asked over the sound of the printer whizzing into life.
‘Not first hand.’ The discovery of rare conditions always brought a range of emotion to the fore, with sympathy for the family at the top of the list. As a medical professional, though, Iona became curious to learn as much as she could to pass on to the parents so they were equipped to deal with whatever challenges were thrown at them. It had to be the same for the GPs who would go on to treat these patients, probably for the rest of their lives.
‘Nor me.’ Fraser ripped out a handful of printed pages, stapled half together and passed them to Iona, keeping the remainder for himself.
‘I’m going to speak to the metabolic unit before I see Mrs Gillen. She’ll need a referral straight away.’ Since Marie and her newborn were Iona’s patients, she would be the one to oversee the initial handover to the hospital.
‘This is some basic info on PKU you can give to her. I’m sure you have it all in hand but it will do us all good to reacquaint ourselves with the challenges ahead.’ The way Fraser said it made it sound as though he expected her to make a home visit straight away when she’d intended to wait until she’d spoken to a consultant.
‘You know I’m on a half-day? I’m only here until lunchtime because I’m moving house today.’ Iona didn’t know if he was aware of her time off so she gave him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn’t deliberately trying to antagonise her again.
‘You can see her first and put the rest of your appointments back. The family need to know and this kind of bombshell is best delivered in person.’ When Iona didn’t respond immediately, stunned that he was pulling rank on her, Fraser added, ‘You know this is a time-sensitive condition and we need to begin treatment as soon as possible.’
She knew he was right and if she hadn’t been so caught up in her moving plans she would have suggested the same. As the only midwife at the practice, she didn’t have anyone else to delegate to so the responsibility was solely hers to deliver the news to the family. That didn’t mean she couldn’t be irritated at losing her time off.
The slightest brush of his fingers against hers as he handed her the information started that prickling sensation beneath her skin she’d experienced for the first time last night when he’d held her in his arms just a fraction longer than necessary.
That spark of awareness in Fraser’s eyes said he’d felt it too but it only served to annoy Iona more. The GP who’d stolen Christmas was now dousing cold water on the plans for her afternoon off so she shouldn’t find anything remotely attractive about him.
‘I’m sorry for yesterday but, you know, we have to have a code of conduct in the workplace or all hell would break loose.’
She stared at him, unblinking, wondering if he was trying to justify nixing her time off by blaming her for making a move on him. Her cheeks burned all the more when she realised he was talking about her dalliance into interior decorating and she was the only one whose thoughts had strayed elsewhere.
‘It’s all sorted now. Don’t worry about it.’ Although Fraser deserved more flak over his over-the-top reaction to a few baubles, it would keep until she’d got over this bout of madness.
‘If you need an appointment for me to see Mrs Gillen, let me know and I’ll fit her into my schedule.’
There were a lot of things about Fraser that frustrated Iona no end but she couldn’t fault his devotion to his patients. Their mutual patients were a shared interest. Somehow that didn’t give her any more comfort. Iona greedily snatched at more reasons to dislike him to erase the memory of the tenderness she’d felt in his touch and the desire she’d seen in his eyes when he’d held her close.
In that brief moment she’d understood those defences she’d built up against this man were because she was afraid of liking him too much. She had enough physical and mental scars to be wary of any man, especially the bossy kind, but she worried even that mightn’t be enough to save her.
‘I’ll let you know. I guess moving day will just have to wait.’
Fraser nodded and with her last obligation here taken care of, Iona was able to make her escape from the claustrophobia of these four walls.
* * *
There was nothing akin to driving out on the open road, radio blasting and singing along at the top of your voice where no one could hear. Iona loved her job. Sure, it was challenging, the hours long with no discernible time for breaks, but it was rewarding. Not only did she get to accompany these women throughout their pregnancies and sometimes get to welcome their babies into the world herself, she was able to enjoy her independence on a daily basis.
She was free to drive out here in the beautiful Scottish countryside, often travelling for miles between each of her appointments. It gave her that sense of empowerment over her destiny, even though she was still technically an employee.
Her freedom was everything to her after her marriage, during which Andy had practically held her prisoner. She’d been blinded by love in those early days, unable to see how he was slowly isolating her from friends and family, insisting he was the only one she needed in her life. Cut off from anyone who could’ve helped her, she’d been at the mercy of his temper when it had shown itself. He’d used any excuse to lash out at her—if the dinner had been overcooked or she’d been wearing too much make-up—but towards the end he hadn’t even bothered making excuses to beat her it had become so commonplace.
Iona flinched, almost able to feel those blows raining down on her after all this time. It was then she had understood why her mother had endured her own loveless relationship for so long. She’d been worn down, cut off from the outside world with no means to support herself financially when she’d sacrificed everything for her family. It had been Andy’s talk of babies and her mother’s death that had finally galvanised Iona into action. She could never have brought a child into that toxic atmosphere when she’d grown up in similar herself and had followed the pattern into adulthood.
It had taken death to enable her mother to leave her own marriage and Iona hadn’t been prepared to wait for the same fate. The strength she’d found to walk out on Andy and file for divorce had carried her on to university and to carve out a whole new life for herself.
Placements during her training had seen Iona working in hospitals and birth clinics but that environment had been a conveyor belt of women passing through her hands with no room to get to know them on a personal level. Life as a community midwife gave her much more of an intimate connection, visiting the patients at home and being on hand as they settled into family life.
* * *
She took a bite of the pre-packed sandwich she’d bought at the garage on the way back from Mrs Gillen’s. Car picnics were Iona’s speciality, if not the hearty dinner she’d been hoping to have in her own place tonight. Now all she wanted was to get back and collapse into bed.
It had been a tough day all round with having to deliver baby Gillen’s diagnosis. The family had been rocked by the news and it would take some time to come to terms with what it meant for them but they had family close to provide a good support system.
With some liaising with the hospital team she’d managed to arrange a meeting for them tomorrow morning so hopefully that would ease their minds that their son would still live a full and active life with proper guidance.
She’d talked them through the basics of PKU, as outlined in Fraser’s printouts, leaving the experts to discuss the day-to-day realities. There had been no need to panic them by overloading them with information when they couldn’t do anything until they’d seen the metabolic consultant and dietician who’d be overseeing the treatment.
The circumstances, however, dictated Iona had stayed with the family much longer than she’d anticipated and she’d been forced to push the rest of her appointments back. It wasn’t something she was happy doing to people waiting in for her but given the cold weather her patients had assured her they’d no intention of venturing outside today. She didn’t blame them. Given half a chance, she’d have stayed indoors with a mug of hot chocolate and a cheesy Christmas film on the TV.
Of course, the extra time had meant not only had she missed out on her afternoon off but the surgery would likely be closed by now and she’d wanted to stop by to grab a few things for tomorrow.
After eight months in the village Iona knew the area pretty well but in the dark, with the first flurry of snow visible in the car headlights, these remote roads were daunting, to say the least. When she saw the lights on at the clinic ahead she breathed a sigh of relief that she’d made it back in one piece and she could stock up on supplies for tomorrow’s excursions.
It would be an early start tomorrow again in order to keep up to date with all of her patients and paperwork. Being a midwife required stamina and not for the first time she was glad she didn’t have to go home and go straight into wife and mother mode to keep others happy. As soon as she was done here she could go home and slip into the guise of knackered singleton guilt-free.
‘Hello. It’s Iona. Can you let me in?’ She rapped on the clinic window, hoping whoever was here, cleaning or catching up on last-minute paperwork, would open up.
‘I hope you’re not expecting overtime.’ Fraser’s dour tone almost tipped her over the edge into a rant about putting her patients above financial gain and her own plans, until she saw the tease playing on his lips. In her exhausted state Iona wasn’t sure she was prepared to deal with the sight.
‘I just want to restock with supplies for tomorrow morning.’ Iona didn’t rise to the bait, not willing to prolong her working day any longer than necessary. With his large frame filling the doorway, she chose to duck under his arm as he held the door open, rather than take the chance of touching him again by pushing past.
‘How is Mrs Gillen?’ Unable to take the hint that she didn’t want him near her, Fraser followed her into the stockroom. Iona should’ve known he’d want a full account to analyse if she’d handled the situation correctly, no doubt concerned he’d be the one to pick up the pieces if Marie fell apart.
‘Shocked, obviously, but reasonably calm. I passed on the printouts you provided.’ He could give himself a pat on the back that he’d participated in some way if that’s what he was interested in.
‘Good. Good. Would you like me to make an emergency appointment to discuss any concerns with her?’ With his arms folded and resting casually against the shelves, Fraser left scant breathing space in the small room. There really was no reason for them both to be crammed in here so Iona forced her way past into the corridor so she wasn’t suffocated by his spicy aftershave.
‘No, I’ve made arrangements for her at the metabolic unit. The consultant and dietician will take over from here.’
She doubted he’d be one hundred percent happy about being out of the loop but there were areas even out of his expertise.
‘They know best,’ he conceded politely.
‘How come you’re here so late?’ Usually you could set your watch by Fraser, who tried to keep office hours when he wasn’t on call. He’d never have made it as a midwife.
The idea of him in blue scrubs, tootling around the countryside in her small car, made her grin and she had to turn away so he wouldn’t see her amusement.
‘I thought I’d swot up on PKU while I was waiting for you.’
The admission made her do an about-turn. ‘Me? What on earth for?’
Their contretemps over the decorations immediately sprang to mind, along with that back-of-the-neck tingling sensation. Her pulse apparently thought she was in a sprint and other parts of her were reminding her it had been a long time since she’d been with a man and she should simply acknowledge this growing attraction for her colleague. If the opportunity arose to get close again, she couldn’t be certain common sense would get any say in the matter when her hormones were currently doing all the talking.
‘I thought you might need help moving in.’ The expression on Fraser’s face displayed concern rather than an intention to seduce her. He was the innocent party in the lurid fantasies her overtired mind insisted on conjuring up.
‘I’ll just have to reschedule for the next time I’m free. Whenever that might be.’ Her need for sleep now was more vital than assuaging Fraser’s apparent guilt that she’d been held up and she wished she’d never broached the subject with him. It put her in a no-win situation. Saying no to him wasn’t going to help their already strained relationship but letting him trespass into her private life wasn’t going to be comfortable for either of them.
‘Call it my apology for yesterday. I could’ve handled things better.’ Hands in pockets, he gave a shrug and appeared even less of a tyrant than ever. None of that was helping Iona maintain that wall of steel she tried to surround herself with at the merest hint of a too-alpha male. Sincere apologies and taking responsibility for anything weren’t traits often associated with such domineering personalities. She should know.
On this occasion Iona had to consider the possibility she might have been mistaken in her assessment of Fraser McColl. Then she could stop being so hard on herself for being drawn to him. Unfortunately this humble side of him decreed a compromise on her part lest she become the sort of obstinate-to-a-fault twit she despised.
