Return of the Secret Heir

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She grabbed her bag and picked up her keys from the kitchen bench. JT had thrown his jacket on and held up the long mocha coat that had been beside his on the coat stand.

“Thank you,” she said as she slipped her arms through the sleeves, shivering as his hands brushed the hair at the base of her neck before he released the coat.

He held his hand out for the car keys. She looked from his empty hand up to his eyes. “You think I’ll let you drive my car? Remember I’ve seen you drive.”

“Not since I was seventeen,” he said, clearly unconcerned by her reluctance. “Besides you don’t know where we’re going.”

“You could simply tell me,” she pointed out.

“I could,” he said, but his crooked smile clearly said I won’t.

Shaking her head at how comfortable he seemed to be making himself in her life again, she handed over her keys. It was only one night, and then they’d go their separate ways. And in the meantime, she really wanted to see what his something was.

They climbed into her Mercedes Cabriolet and he drove them out of town, her Nina Simone CD providing background music. As the New York streetlights flashed by, she lost track of time and distance, absorbed in thoughts of their baby and what could have been. Perhaps they would have married and been raising Brianna together, living in a sweet little house with a garden out front. He’d greet her each night with the passion of—

No. She bit down on her trembling bottom lip. That was a fantasy. Their relationship would have self-destructed long ago. She would have self-destructed if she’d stayed with JT. Her hands gripped each other as if for dear life.

“You all right, princess?”

She jumped as his words cut into her thoughts. “You agreed not to call me that.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” But he didn’t look sorry. In fact he looked more like the young JT as his green eyes took on a twinkle.

She watched him from the corner of her eye as he expertly handled her car, his powerful arms turning the wheel to hug the corners. There was something about his profile, the shadow of the day’s beard on his cheeks, that screamed “danger.” And she knew exactly what that danger was—not him; no, he would never hurt her. It was in what he unleashed in her. All the bad traits, all the selfish, worst aspects of herself were magnified and harder to resist when he was nearby. It wasn’t how she wanted to live. It wasn’t the person she wanted to be.

When they were young, all he had to do was hold out an apple and she’d reach for the forbidden fruit, no questions, no self-control. Her parents had warned her that she was out of control, but she hadn’t listened. Her teachers had told her that her grades were dropping, but she’d much rather dream about JT than listen in class.

It had only been when her recklessness had cost her baby the ultimate price that she’d finally taken stock. The sole method available to pull back from the brink of self-destruction was to cut herself off from JT—to tear from her heart the almost-physical connection they had. Added to the grief of losing her daughter, she’d thought at the time the pain might kill her.

Over the years she’d found it grew easier to bury her wayward side. She’d gone to law school as her parents wanted and become a responsible adult. She dated several men—even became engaged to two—but there had always been something missing, so she’d ultimately broken things off with them. She might not be willing to touch the fire of a man like JT again, but she couldn’t live a lie and marry a man she felt nothing for beyond affection and friendship.

One day she’d find the perfect man—one about whom she could feel passionate, but who brought out the good aspects in her. Surely such a man existed?

Suddenly a familiar sign on the roadside caught her attention and she blinked and looked through the window at the scenery, her heart quickening with a strange mixture of dread and lightness. They were in New Jersey. In fact, they were on the outskirts of their hometown.

She turned in her seat to face JT. “We’re going to Pine Shores?”

“Yes,” he said, giving nothing else away.

They drove through the town, past the school where they’d met, past the road to his old house, past the diner where he’d taken her on dates, and then out the other side. He slowed at a turnoff to the secluded stretch of beach the locals called Bride’s Beach where the two of them had spent a lot of time together. Where they’d first made love.

He pulled up in the empty, unlit car park and switched off the engine. The silence was heavy as they both looked out through the windscreen at the dark trees that separated them from the beach. A tight band pressed around her chest, making it difficult for her lungs to draw air.

Then he disengaged his seat belt. “Come on,” he said.

She climbed out of the car and followed him as he walked down the path that led to the water, then turned left onto a barely visible track winding through the trees. Moonlight shone through trees with leaves that fluttered in the light breeze. The way was as familiar now as it had been then—indelibly etched into her consciousness. She used to sneak out her window at night and meet JT around the block, and he’d bring her down here on the back of his bike. They’d lie together, nestled in the trees that met the sand, looking out over the beach and water, sometimes talking, sometimes making love, always holding each other. In colder months, they’d bring blankets.

It was the spot where they’d conceived their baby.

Digging her nails into her palms, she looked out to see the view of the moonlight on the water, the shadows of the trees over the sand. The same haunting view that regularly featured in her dreams.

Ahead, JT crouched down and began clearing away a buildup of leaves and twigs from something, so she crouched beside him for a better look.

Her heart leaped into her throat. It was a beautifully carved wooden cross. “You made this?” she asked.

“I had to do something,” he said, voice rough. He cleared the last bit of debris and sat back on his haunches. “I usually bring flowers when I come.” He looked around as if hoping some of the trees would magically sprout flowers he could use.

She reached over to touch the cross and realized there were words carved on the front. She looked closer and saw “Brianna Hartley, Beloved.”

Her eyes filled with tears and JT reached for her hand, squeezing tight.

“Thank you,” she whispered, searching his eyes. And she saw something there that rocked her to her core. Fourteen years ago she’d been so grief-stricken, so young that she simply hadn’t had the emotional capacity to understand JT’s grief.

She’d known he loved their unborn daughter, but stupidly, she’d seen something different between mother-love—having the physical connection to their baby—and JT’s father-love.

Yet she could see now, in the depths of his haunted green eyes, that he’d suffered a grief as powerful as her own, that Brianna had been as much his baby as hers, that the pain of losing her was his as well.

And while her family had been pushing her to move on, to pretend it hadn’t happened, JT had made this simple, beautiful memorial. The craftsmanship was exquisite—made from one piece of wood, carved and polished with love.

Even after the way she’d shut him out, he’d shown her this, shared it with her as a gift, his solace to her. Her vision blurred and she was helpless to stop hot tears spilling down her face.

Silently, gently, JT wiped her cheeks with his thumbs, whispering soothing sounds and words, which only made her cry more. His arms came around her, wrapping her in his safe embrace and she leaned into his strength, needing it now more than anything. His black jacket was rough beneath her grip, his scent familiar, his body warm.

After endless minutes, her tears eased, but she couldn’t let him go. The comfort of the only other person who understood her pain was something she couldn’t yet step away from. His hands made long, reassuring strokes down her back, his breath warm near her ear.

She looked up, seeking his gaze and whispered, “I wish—”

“I know,” he said, placing a finger over her lips to silence the futile yearnings, then pressed his lips to her cheek. The touch of his mouth was so soft that she leaned further into him, needing the human contact, his living touch. She turned her face and sought his lips, and his hands cupped her face as he kissed her tenderly, no more than butterfly kisses that made her ache inside.

As his mouth moved to her jaw, her throat, she wound her arms around his waist, surrendering herself to him, needing to block out all else.

Yet, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t block it out. It was too much—seeing JT again this morning, opening the memory box for the first time in years, the cross for Briana, being with JT in the same place they used to come as teenagers. Too much to all happen in half a day. She didn’t have anything left to give, any defenses remaining.

JT slowed the trail of kisses, then looked down at her. “Is something wrong?”

“We’ve been here before, JT,” she said, laying a staying hand on his chest. “This isn’t good for either of us—”

“Pia,” he said softly. “You’re overthinking. If you want to stop, we’ll stop. But all that’s happening here is two people who have gone through a harrowing experience together, reaching out to each other for what comfort they can find.” He placed an exquisite kiss on her lips. “Let me comfort you, princess.”

If he’d tried to convince her with sensuality, she could have resisted. But the tenderness in his voice almost brought tears to her eyes once more.

“Yes,” she whispered.

All she needed in this moment was to escape in his arms. Moonbeams danced around them as she let him lead her to a place with no memories. No pain.

Four

As JT laid her down on a makeshift rug of their coats, Pia opened her arms to welcome him, the keen edge of anticipation making even the air feel electric. It was as if she’d waited fourteen years for this moment. Why was it only JT who could inspire this level of want within her?

He pulled her against his strong form and pressed a hot, velvet kiss to her throat. The feeling was so decadent that she moaned as he laid more kisses down her throat to the edge of her collarbone.

She’d missed this.

Needing to feel the heat of his skin, she fumbled for the hem of his T-shirt and pushed it up. When her hands made contact, she squeezed her eyes shut to savor the feeling. Her fingertips chased over the planes of his chest, greedy to make up for every moment she’d existed without his skin touching hers. It’d been too long. Unbearably long. She’d had her reasons, but now they seemed to evaporate into nothingness and float away.

As he claimed her mouth again in deep, hungry kisses, she felt the coil of arousal at her core pull tight. Despite lying on the ground with nowhere to fall, her hands gripped his waist, holding on, trying to stay anchored under the sensual onslaught. His mouth broke away, and she used the moment to drag air into her lungs, his labored breaths fanning over her cheek.

His thumb stroked over her bottom lip and sent tingles clear to her toes. She looked into his eyes and his name reverberated through her mind—part of her not quite believing it was JT here after all these years, JT who’d just kissed her senseless. The leaves crinkled beneath their coats as she linked her wrists behind his neck and brought his heated mouth back to hers.

“Pia,” he groaned against her lips as he unbuttoned her jacket and blouse without breaking the kiss. The pads of his fingers fanned across the sides of her breasts, moving to tease the undersides, and she tried to hold back a whimper of pleasure, unsure of whether she’d succeeded or not.

She threaded her hands under the edge of his shirt, running them over his back. How could someone be the most familiar person in her life, yet at the same time be so unfamiliar? Even the shape of his back had changed—newer, stronger muscles spread from the ridges of his spine—and she was desperate to know everything about the differences.

He kissed his way to her breasts, then took a beaded peak into his mouth. A hand cupped her other breast, the rough pad of his thumb stroking, while his tongue softly circled, then lightly bit. As she struggled to cope with the exquisite torment, her hands stilled on his upper back. Their surroundings vanished, all that existed in the universe was JT—his mouth, his hands, his heat. Just when she thought she’d dissolve, he moved back up her body and kissed the sensitive spot behind her ear.

“You’re more beautiful now than you ever were,” he whispered, then his tongue touched the shell of her ear and she sank still deeper into the sensations he evoked. The words, combined with his warm rapid breath in her ear sent a delicious shiver across her body.

She pushed his shirt up to his shoulders, watching the color of his chest change as it was exposed to the night’s pearlescent light. Absorbing the vague scent of soap that emanated from his skin, she whispered a kiss across his chest, and smiled when he shuddered. He’d always reacted intensely to her caress—strange that he was so changed in some ways, yet her memories of how he liked to be touched seemed as fresh as ever.

Filled with the power of her recovered knowledge, she pushed the T-shirt higher and he grabbed the fabric behind his neck and tugged it over his head. She touched everywhere she could reach, the ridges of his abdomen, the swell of his biceps, the crisp hair smattered across his chest. The more of him she touched, the faster her blood pumped, and she felt the answering beat of his heart thudding strongly under her hands.

She needed more, so much more. Desire smoldering in her belly, she reached into his jeans to find him straining and ready for her. The soft slide of him against her palm made her breath catch.

He groaned and pulled her hand back to slowly remove the rest of her clothes, peeling away fabric, kissing the skin he exposed as his fingers feathered across her belly, the satin of her thighs.

Instinctively his name slipped from her mouth as he covered her with his weight, and she was losing herself, melting into him. His mouth came down and kissed her with a consuming hunger and she pulled him closer against her. It wasn’t near enough. She wrapped her legs around his strong thighs, and his hand snaked between them and unerringly found the pulsing core of her, his other hand curled around her nape as his mouth sustained the kiss.

The moment after he entered her, his neck corded with tension and he held himself very still. A tear ran down her face—the beauty of finally being reunited with him was breathtaking, nothing could ever compare. JT leaned down and kissed the tear away, then began to move in a rhythm that she matched without thought.

His heavily lidded eyes were locked on hers as they climbed higher, his name on her lips, and higher still, the feel of him everywhere, and higher, before she broke free, released of earthly restraints, and felt him follow her, gripping her tight, calling her name.

She floated for an endless time, neither of them moving, as if not wanting to break the spell. Then, as she drifted back to earth and the hot pulse in her body slowly leveled, the outside world began to intrude. The leaf litter beneath their coats that rustled with every movement, the small stone digging into her arm, the light breeze on her naked leg.

And with the awareness of her surroundings also came awareness of what she’d done. Her stomach shrank to a cold, hard lump as the full folly of her actions came crashing down—she’d crossed a line. A professional and ethical line. But also a personal one…

She’d allowed herself to lapse from the person she’d worked so hard to become.

Although, perhaps it had been inevitable—a healing experience they’d both needed. And now they could move on. She released the breath she’d been holding, relieved to have understanding of what they’d done—she’d simply needed the closure and now she had it. She scrubbed a hand over her face.