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The contents of the bottle had lowered to the point where Finn was forced to tilt it higher so Harry would ingest formula rather than air. She watched him make the adjustment, then seemingly satisfied that he knew how to feed a baby, she took a seat on the stool next to his.
Using his free hand, Finn reached for the mug of coffee, then carefully leaned his head away from Harry to take a sip. The brew was stronger than what he was normally used to, but it tasted good. The long drive up here, coupled with the stress of meeting Mariah and the baby, had worn him down.
After downing several sips of the coffee, he asked, “Do you have any other relatives living close by?”
“No. Our parents divorced when Aimee and I were small, and ever since, our mother has lived in Florida near her parents.”
“Do any of them ever come to visit?”
A bitterness twisted her features. “Not hardly. Aimee and I were lucky to get a birthday or Christmas card from any of them. Now that I’m the only one left, it’ll be easy for them to forget they have family back here on a dusty ranch.”
So Mariah clearly wouldn’t be getting any emotional support from that branch of the family. The idea bothered him greatly. Mariah was so young. She needed someone to embrace and encourage her through the loss of her sister and the transition it was making on her life. She needed a loving family surrounding her. But she had none.
He said, “I guess you can tell that Aimee didn’t share much about her family life with me. But to be fair I didn’t ask her a lot of personal questions. We mostly talked about horses and the things we had in common. I thought we’d have plenty of time for family talk later. I never believed...well, that things would end up like this.”
Over the rim of her mug, she regarded him solemnly. “After you left Reno did you ever try to contact her?”
“Sure. I called several times. But the phone signal would break or she’d never answer. I even left messages on her voice mail, but she never returned them. I finally decided she wanted to put our weekend behind her. So I did the same.”
She turned her head away and Finn could hear a heavy sigh swoosh out of her.
“I should apologize to you, too, Finn. You were right. I wanted to think of you as a cad. I’d made up my mind even before you arrived that you were the one who’d left Aimee in the lurch. That was easier than thinking my sister was...callous or indifferent or—” Her head swung back and forth. “Guess it doesn’t matter now.”
Aimee’s true intentions toward Finn or her baby had died with her. And none of it could change the future now, Finn thought—unless the DNA test proved some other man had fathered Harry. But already his mind was balking at that idea. Something deep within him recognized that Harry was his child.
He glanced down to see that the baby was sound asleep, his lips slack around the nipple. Carefully, he eased the bottle from the boy’s mouth and placed it on the bar.
“You don’t need to apologize,” he told Mariah. “We’re both in the dark about each other and Aimee and how Harry came to be.
“So you don’t have any other relatives around who could help you with the ranch? What about your dad’s parents?” he asked.
She shook her head. “They died a few years ago within a few months of each other. Both had struggled with serious health problems.”
“Sorry to hear that,” he said gently.
Her sigh was wistful. “Aimee and I adored them both. After our parents divorced we lived with them for a while, then Dad purchased this ranch and the three of us moved up here. Having Stallion Canyon was his dream come true.”
Finn glanced thoughtfully around the warm kitchen and tried to imagine what it had been like when her father and sister had been living. Had the three of them gathered at the dinner table and talked about their dreams and plans? Had there been jokes and laughter or arguments and worries?
“So this house—this ranch has been your home for many years,” he stated the obvious.
Rising from the bar stool, she walked over to the cabinet and poured more coffee into her mug. “Since I was eight. And I’m twenty-eight now. So yes, this has been home for all my adult life. But not much longer,” she added dully.
“So you’re planning on moving?” he asked.
She said, “As soon as the real estate agent can sell the ranch.”
There was a hollow sound to her voice, as though moving from this home had no effect on her. Finn didn’t understand why the notion should bother him, but it did. A family ranch with a long history represented pride and hard work. It meant passing a home and legacy from one generation to the next. Had Mariah stopped to think of that, or was getting away from here more important? After twenty years she was bound to have deep roots and sentimental ties to the place. Could she be putting up a front? Pretending to him and even herself that it didn’t matter where she lived?
“You’re going to sell it? Damn, that’s pretty final, isn’t it?”
Glancing over her shoulder, she frowned at him. “I’m a teacher. Dad and Aimee are gone and I have no use for the land, the barns or the equipment. I’ve already gotten rid of all but ten of the horses. And I only have those because I can’t find buyers. One of them is a prize stallion and I was holding out for a better price, but I’m almost to the point of giving him and the rest away. Cutting out the feed bill would help stop the ranch from sinking into deeper debt.”
One thing he’d learned about Aimee during their brief time together was that Stallion Canyon and its horses had meant everything to her. But apparently Mariah didn’t feel any such pull. Had it always been that way? he wondered. Or had hard times embittered her?
“My mistake,” he said. “When I drove up earlier, I thought I saw a man at one of the barns. I assumed the ranch was doing business.”
“That was Ringo,” she explained. “He comes by twice a week to haul in feed and generally check on things. To save money I take care of the daily feeding.”
Harry was the only reason Finn had traveled up here to Stallion Canyon. The ranch’s financial condition, or its lone proprietor, was none of his business. But little by little Mariah was somehow drawing him into this place and her plight.
“Am I understanding you right, Mariah? You’re selling the ranch because it’s going under?”
She returned to her seat at the bar. “You’re asking some very personal questions,” she said.
Their gazes connected, and as he studied her gray eyes, he felt something stir in him. The sensation had nothing to do with the baby in his arms and everything to do with the moist gleam on her dusky lips and the subtle scent of flowers drifting to his nostrils.
Hellfire, what’s wrong with you, Finn? One Montgomery sister has already had your baby. Now you’re looking at this one as though you’d like to try for a second!
Trying to shake away the accusing voice in his head, he countered, “You’ve been telling me some very personal things.”
She drew in a deep breath and his gaze instinctively fell to the rise and fall of her breasts. The gentle curves beneath the red checked blouse were just enough to fill a man’s hands, he mentally gauged, or comfort a crying baby.
She said, “Normally I keep such things to myself. But if you are really Harry’s father, then you need to hear about his mother’s side of the family. As for me selling the ranch, I shouldn’t have brought that up.”
Finn’s gaze roamed over her delicate features and crow-black hair. She was hardly the glamorous sort, but there was a sweet sort of sexiness about her that he found very hard to resist.
“Aimee told me your father died suddenly of a heart attack. There are five of us Calhoun brothers and we lost our mother about nine years ago to an accident. It’s hell to lose someone you love.”
She stared at the liquid inside her cup, and Finn got the impression she was purposely trying to keep from connecting with him in a personal way. Maybe the sight of him reminded her of Aimee. Or maybe she saw him as the villain, here to take Harry away from her. The idea made him feel like a jerk.
“At least you had a big family to support you. But I’m surviving. And I’m determined to move on with my life.”
Over the years Finn and his family had dealt with troubles and sorrows, but they’d always had one another to lean on. Mariah had been facing everything on her own. He couldn’t imagine how that felt, or what it would do to his spirit.
“I guess losing your father threw the ranch into upheaval,” he spoke his thoughts out loud.
Her expression rueful, she said, “That was the beginning of the downfall. After we buried Dad, Aimee promised she could keep Stallion Canyon profitable. And in the beginning I trusted her. She was a very good trainer. As good as Dad.”
“At Reno I could see how competent Aimee was with her mustang. Your horses should’ve been bringing in top dollars. What happened?”
Mariah released a heavy sigh. “At first she worked very hard. And back then she had capable assistants to help her. But something caused her to change. She started spending money on frivolous things and ignoring her work. I tried to be patient, because I knew how much she was hurting over Dad’s death. Each morning she walked out to the barns, she had to deal with working without him. On top of that, her relationship with Bryce was going nowhere. Then she got pregnant. After that the ranch quickly went downhill.”
Listening to Mariah now, it sounded as though Aimee had been a troubled soul long before he’d met her. Yet he hadn’t glimpsed that side of her. All he’d seen was her laughter and smiles. The realization proved that he’d misjudged her badly. Did that mean any woman could fool him? Even this one?
“I suppose you’re thinking I’m partly to blame for your problems,” he said ruefully.
“I can’t blame you for the choices Aimee made. And anyway, you might not be the man who got Aimee pregnant.”
So she was going to hold on to that notion, he thought grimly. Well, he supposed she had that right. Just as much as he had the right to believe Harry was his son.
The thought had him looking down at the boy in his arms. The child was so tiny and vulnerable, so precious. He wanted to hold the sleeping baby’s face next to his own, to breathe in his sweet scent and let the wonder of being a father settle deep inside him. He might have been gullible with Aimee, but he wasn’t about to let Mariah dupe him. Especially when it came to Harry’s parentage.
But what if Harry’s DNA doesn’t match yours, Finn? You’ll have no argument to keep the boy. Maybe you ought to ask yourself if you’re playing a fool’s game.
Silently cursing the voice of warning in his head, he looked up to see Mariah’s attention fixed on a nearby window. As he studied her pensive profile, he wondered if there was a special man in her life. Even though she wasn’t married, there was still the possibility she had a boyfriend or fiancé. For all he knew, she might even have ideas of marrying and keeping Harry as her child.
Crazy or not, the mere idea of losing the baby in his arms left him cold inside. It changed the whole landscape of the future he’d been mentally painting for himself and his son. Harry gave him a purpose that he’d never had before, and he liked it.
“I believe I am that man,” Finn said. “Aimee put my name on Harry’s birth certificate. She did that for some reason. I only wish she’d contacted me. I could’ve helped—before things here on the ranch started falling apart.”
She glanced at him, her expression wry. “We needed help all right. About a month before her accident, we were forced to sell off part of the horses just to keep the bills paid. Seeing them go opened Aimee’s eyes somewhat. But it was already too late.”
Finn frowned with confusion. “If money was that tight, how did she get the money to go on a skiing holiday?”
“Two of Aimee’s girlfriends paid for the trip. They were hoping a break from the baby and the ranch would help her get her head on straight. Now they blame themselves for her death.”
“Do you blame them?”
Frowning, she looked at him. “No. Accidents can happen anywhere.”
“You’ve never told me exactly how Aimee died. Do you believe it truly was an accident?”
The widening of her eyes told Finn his question had surprised her.
“Why, yes, I do. Her friends said that one minute they were all headed down the slope together and everything was fine. Then a steep embankment appeared several yards on down the path. One of the friends managed to swerve around it, but Aimee and the other girl chose to ski over it. Both of them ramped the ledge and fell on the other side. There was soft powder on the ground that day, but something about the twisted way she landed severed Aimee’s spinal cord.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “But after all you’ve said about Aimee it got me to wondering if maybe she was depressed or wasn’t herself and—well, that she was deliberately being reckless.”
Her brows pulled together in a scowl. “I’d be the first to admit that Aimee liked to live on the edge. Most normal folks would be terrified to climb on a horse that had bucking on its mind. But my sister relished the challenge and excitement. Still, as for that day on the ski slope, no, I believe it was an accident. Nothing more.”
Finn was thankful for that much, at least. He hated thinking the responsibility of mothering Harry and the weight of the floundering ranch had pushed Aimee to the point where she hadn’t cared whether she lived or died.
Still, the facts of Aimee’s accident didn’t change what was happening to Mariah now. She was on the verge of losing everything, he thought bleakly. How was she going to pick herself up and start a new life without her home? Without Harry?
Shoving the troubling questions aside, he said, “Aimee’s death. Harry being born. There’s some reason it all happened. And no matter the circumstances of how he was brought into the world, just holding this little guy in my arms makes me feel like a blessed man.”
She said nothing to that. Instead, she stared at him, her gaze frozen on his face. While Finn waited for her to say anything, silence stretched between them like a taut highline.
After several more moments passed without a response, he finally asked, “Is something wrong?”
She jumped to her feet and cleared her throat. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice choked. “Please excuse me.”
Before Finn could react, she was rushing toward the arched doorway and as he watched her retreating back, he knew there were already tears on her face.
Damn it! Now what?
With a heavy sigh, he rose to his feet and carried the sleeping baby out of the kitchen and back to the nursery.
As soon as he walked into the room, he spotted Mariah standing by a window near the crib, gazing out at the rugged landscape in the distance. Was she thinking about leaving this ranch? No doubt everything about the place reminded her of her father and sister. Or was it the fear of losing Harry that had caused her to break down in tears?
Finn placed the baby in the crib and covered him with a light blanket. It wasn’t until he straightened from the task that he noticed Mariah was looking over her shoulder at him. Thankfully, there were no tears on her face, but Finn didn’t miss the redness of her eyes. The sight hit him far harder than it should have.
“I’m sorry for rushing away like that, Finn,” she said huskily. “Everything suddenly piled up on me.”
He moved from the side of the crib and went to stand next to her. “I hardly need an apology,” he told her. “But it would be nice to see a smile on your face.”
Turning slightly, she cast him a sidelong glance. “I’m not in a smiling mood,” she admitted. “Harry is on my mind. I’m thinking this ranch should eventually be handed down to him. It should remain his home. But sooner rather than later it’s going to belong to someone else. And if it turns out you’re his father, then none of that will matter anyway. You’ll be wanting him to live with you.”
“That’s my plan. If Harry is my son, then he’s going home with me. The child belongs with his father.”
Her mouth fell open, snapped shut, and opened again. “I can’t let that happen, Finn.”
A cool chill rushed through him. “Excuse me, but if DNA proves Harry is mine, then I have every right to take him.”
Her expression bleak, she turned her back to him. “Okay, I’ll admit that as his father you’d have the right. But that’s not all there is to it,” she said in a low tone. “I mean, Harry is used to me. I’ve been his mother since...well, practically since he was born. To pull him away from me would be traumatic for both of us. Besides, I don’t know anything about you. I wouldn’t be much of an aunt if I simply turned him over to you without learning who you are.”
Finn’s first instinct was to remind Mariah that he’d already been robbed of the first few months of his son’s life because her sister had deliberately left him in the dark. But now was not the time to get into a bitter battle with her, he decided. It wouldn’t help his cause to have her thinking he was a hothead who had no business dealing with a baby. She’d learn soon enough that he was Harry’s father and that he wasn’t about to allow her, or anyone, to come between him and his son.
Drawing in a deep breath, he tried to remain cool and collected. “I have all kinds of identification with me. And if you’d like to call and speak with someone about me or my family, I can give you plenty of character references.”
* * *
Biting down on her lip, Mariah closed her eyes and tried to calm the churning fear inside her. What could she say? How could she make this man understand that Harry was all she had left in the world? He was her little boy. If Finn Calhoun took him away from her, she didn’t think she could bear the pain.
If the test revealed he was Harry’s daddy, there’d be no way she could prevent him from taking custody of her baby—unless he was unfit to be a parent, and he hardly looked that. This hunky cowboy looked like a man who was in complete control of himself and everything around him.
Bracing herself with a deep breath, she turned back to him and was immediately struck again by his huge presence. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about Finn that set him apart from the other cowboys who’d worked on Stallion Canyon. He had enough confidence for two men and the looks to go with it. But that wasn’t exactly the reason her gaze kept returning to him. There was something about his blue eyes and the hard curve of his lips that invited her to draw near him. And that could prove to be dangerous.
With her mouth feeling as though she’d eaten a bowl of desert sand, she said, “I don’t need a bunch of your friends mouthing your superlative qualities to me. I need to see for myself what sort of man you are.”
His rusty brown brows pulled together in a frown while his keen gaze rambled lazily over her face, and Mariah suddenly wished she’d dressed that morning in a shirt that buttoned tightly at her throat and wrists. At least then she might not be feeling so downright naked.
After a long, pregnant pause, he said, “Most folks consider me a respectable, hardworking man. How do folks around here feel about you?”
For a moment she was taken aback. She hadn’t been expecting him to turn the tables on her. “I have a few friends,” she said. “And the school where I teach wants me back next year. Does that tell you anything about my reputation?”
A corner of his lips curved slightly upward and Mariah found she couldn’t tear her eyes from the provocative image. How many women, besides Aimee, had felt the pleasure of those hard lips on hers? she wondered. Was he the kind of man that frequently pursued women in general, or did one in particular have to catch his attention before he went after her?
His low chuckle caressed her senses, and longing suddenly pierced the empty spots inside her. How nice it would be to hear his laugh each and every day, to be able to laugh with him. To feel his hands touching her, protecting her, loving her.
“You said you wanted to get to know me. Could be that I’d like to know more about you, too. Do you have a boyfriend? Or fiancé?”
Rattled even more by his questions, she moved around him and returned to the side of Harry’s crib. He’d laid the baby on his back and tucked a lightweight blue blanket around him. The idea of the tall, tough cowboy caring so gently for the baby caused her eyes to mist over once again.
“No boyfriend. And definitely not a fiancé.”
“And why is that? You don’t want to be married?”
