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The Parent Agency
David Baddiel
Jim Field
A brilliantly funny, gripping novel - andThe bestselling hardback children’s debut of 2014 - from a born storyteller, The Parent Agency is an epic wish-fulfilment adventure for every child – and for the child in everyone.Barry said, a third time, “I wish I had better parents!” And then suddenly the entire room started to shake…Barry Bennett hates being called Barry. In fact it’s number 2 on the list of things he blames his parents for, along with 1) ‘being boring’ and 3) ‘always being tired’.But there is a world, not far from this one, where parents don’t have children. That’s far too random for something so big and important. In this world, children are allowed to choose their parents.For Barry Bennett, this world seems like a dream come true. Only things turn out to be not quite that simple…Illustrated by Roald Dahl Funny Prize winner, Jim Field.
Copyright (#u11fde976-fcd1-50af-a7cb-c1c22db81c88)
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2014
HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
Text copyright © David Baddiel 2014
Illustrations copyright © Jim Field 2014
Jacket illustration © Jim Field
Jacket Design © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2014
David Baddiel and Jim Field assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780007554492
Ebook Edition © 2014 ISBN: 9780007554515
Version: 2018-09-18
To Ezra and Dolly, with particular thanks to Ez for giving me the idea in the first place…
Contents
Cover (#u2770b3bf-9766-5252-9dc2-94240aad7da9)
Title Page (#ue9712a5f-c19c-58de-b501-4dd02738c98e)
Copyright
Dedication (#u5c8990de-a88b-5538-abc9-f12c5727478c)
Part One: The World is not Enough
Sunday
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Part Two: This World Seems to Be Enough
Monday
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Tuesday
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Wednesday
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Thursday
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Friday
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Friday Night
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Part Three: No, Wait a Minute: The World – The First One – Y’Know, This One – Might Be Kind of Enough After All
Saturday
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Really Late, Saturday Night: Way Past Barry’s Normal Bedtime
Acknowledgements
Keep Reading … (#u590362fa-af56-53bf-af73-46310c6666c0)
Books by David Baddiel
About the Publisher
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SUNDAY (#u11fde976-fcd1-50af-a7cb-c1c22db81c88)
CHAPTER ONE (#u11fde976-fcd1-50af-a7cb-c1c22db81c88)
Barry Bennett was always very upset at being called Barry. It was a stupid name for a modern nine (nearly ten) year old boy. All his friends were called things like Jake and Lukas and Taj.
In fact, they weren’t called things like that, they were called exactly that. Jake was his best friend, Lukas was his second best and Taj was his third. Although sometimes that order was reversed and Taj was first. But, either way, none of them were called anything like Barry. Barry didn’t even know anyone called anything like Barry. He didn’t know, for example, anyone called Brian. Or Colin. Or Derek. Or any other name that no boy had been called since 1953.
Being called Barry was just one – although it was pretty near the top of the list – of the many things Barry blamed his parents (Susan and Geoff: go figure…) for.
Here, in fact, is that list, which Barry kept hidden under the pillow on his bed (a bed that didn’t, by the way, have the fantastic Lionel Messi duvet on it that Lukas had):
THINGS I BLAME MY PARENTS FOR
1 Being boring.
