скачать книгу бесплатно
“But every time you complained about having to ride the fence line or feed the herd, maybe they took it as a strike against their lifestyle. I’m not saying it was right what they said or how they made you feel, but maybe they thought if you lost interest in fashion that you would realize the ranch was the right place for you.”
Cleo’s fine brows arched. “You really think that’s what it was about?”
Jax raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t have all of the answers. I just know that a mother’s love runs deep. You’ve both made mistakes. How long has it been since you tried to talk to her?”
“Almost two years. The last time I called was a month after the funeral. She told me never to call again.” Cleo’s eyes shimmered and she blinked repeatedly.
“Try to forget what she said in a moment of grief and follow your heart. When you talk to her be honest about who you are and what you want in life. Maybe she’ll surprise you. What do you have to lose?”
Cleo shook her head. “I—I can’t do that. I can’t have her say those hurtful things again. I’m fine with the way things are now.”
“Then you’re lying to me and yourself. This distance isn’t making you happy. You may have all of the independence in the world, but it’ll never replace the love of your family. And don’t doubt that they love you just as much as you love them.” He got to his feet. “Now I have a cat to track down.”
He didn’t want to push Cleo too far too fast, but before they went their separate ways, he hoped she’d work up the courage to call home. The sooner, the better. Otherwise he wasn’t sure if he could just walk away from her and leave her alone.
* * *
A few days later, Cleo was still thinking over Jax’s words. The fact that he’d come to her mother’s defense she found confusing. Why was he pushing this? There had never been any love between him and her mother. In fact, as a kid, Jax used to revel in egging her mother on by doing things to irritate her. So why was he suddenly coming to her mother’s aid?
It didn’t make any sense. But more than that, Cleo didn’t feel worthy to be part of the Sinclair clan any longer. Not when her actions contributed to her father’s death—the man who gave her the dream of an Ivy League school even though he’d had to put the family’s heritage at risk to do it. And how did she repay him? By her last words to him being ones of anger.
Cleo gave herself a mental jerk. She wasn’t going down that painful road again. She’d thought she’d tucked all of these memories into a locked box in the back of her mind. Now the memories had broken the padlock and were spilling out faster than she could push the lid closed.
What she needed to do was quit thinking. She’d done enough of that all afternoon and right about now, the most delightful aroma was coming from the kitchen.
Tired of sketching, she closed the pad and placed it on the glass coffee table alongside her colored pencils. She grabbed the crutches that she was now more adept at using and made her way to the kitchen.
From the hallway, she could hear Jax talking but she couldn’t make out what he was saying until she got closer. “Don’t look so down. Us guys have to stick together. I’m sure that surgery wasn’t easy.”
Surgery? Oh, having Charlie neutered. She smiled as she listened to Jax sympathizing with the cat. He continued to talk as if Charlie understood every word he said.
“Here. Maybe this will cheer you up.”
Cleo turned the corner in time to find Jax doling out some treats before turning his attention back to the stove.
“So you and Charlie are buddies now?”
Jax jerked around from where he’d been stirring a steaming pot. With the spoon still in his hand, the tomato sauce dripped all over the black-and-white floor tiles. The sheepish look reminded her of the expression her brothers would get when caught stealing one of her mother’s cookies fresh from the oven.
“You heard that?”
“I did.” She worked her way over to the island and pulled out a stool. “I told you Charlie would grow on you.”
Jax turned away and busied himself cleaning up the mess. “There. All cleaned up.” He tossed the paper towels in the trash and washed his hands. “I hope you like pasta.”
“Smells delicious to me. What is it?”
“My version of Sicilian pasta.” He broke up some capellini and dunked it in a pot of boiling water. “It’ll be ready shortly if you want to go back to the family room. I can bring it in there.”
“I’m bored with my own company. Mind if I stay and watch?”
He cocked a smile. “Is that your way of saying that I’m interesting? Or am I just the best of the worst?”
She laughed. “Hmm...I’m not going to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.”
“I see how you are,” he said teasingly as he moved to the fridge.
She wouldn’t have missed this for anything in the world. As he bent over to retrieve some salad makings, she couldn’t help but take in the way his faded jeans accentuated his backside. There wasn’t an ounce of flab on the guy. Between his good looks and wealth, why was he still single?
“So do you do this often?”
He turned around with a head of iceberg lettuce in one hand and a large tomato in the other. “No. I rarely cook.”
Then an unhappy thought came to mind. “Is that because there’s a woman around to do the cooking for you?”
His gaze caught hers. “And what would you say if I told you that she cooks, cleans and folds my underwear, too?”
The thought that he’d be involved with someone hadn’t even crossed her mind. An uneasy feeling stirred within her. She didn’t know why she’d just assumed he was available. He was sexy and rich. He could have his choice of women.
“Before you go jumping to the wrong conclusion,” Jax said, “you should know that she’s my cleaning lady. She’s old enough to be my mother and she’s happily married.”
Cleo breathed easier. “That’s good because I’m never going to be the other woman. Especially when I know firsthand how much it hurts everyone involved.” Then realizing she’d said too much, heat licked at her cheeks.
She glanced up, catching the slack-jawed look on Jax’s face.
“I would never want you to be the other woman. If you were mine, there wouldn’t be anyone else in my life but you. You’d be all I’d need.”
Her gaze met his. Her heart thump-thumped in her chest. She’d only ever dreamed of someone speaking such endearing words to her.
The kitchen timer buzzed. In a blink the fairy-tale moment ended.
Jax moved around the counter. “I have to take care of the pasta, but don’t go anywhere. We aren’t through with this conversation.”
She watched as he drained the pasta, dribbled some olive oil on it, gave it a toss and put the lid on the pan. She thought of sneaking off while he stirred the sauce, but she was certain that he’d track her down. She might as well get this over with. Her stomach growled its agreement. Her only road to dinner was a detour through her past.
After turning down the heat and giving the sauce one final stir, Jax joined her at the counter. He settled down on the stool and faced her. “Now, what is this about you being hurt by another woman?”
“It’s not worth getting into the details. Let’s just say the moral of the story is I let myself fall for the wrong guy. And now I know better. So let’s have dinner and forget all of this.”
“Not so fast. I want to know the parts you’re skipping over.”
She exhaled an exasperated sigh. She hated to think about how naive she’d been. She’d never be that trusting again because putting your heart on the line was just asking to be hurt—even from those that you’d least expect.
“It was my last year in college and I’d fallen hard for this guy from my public speaking class. He was charming and charismatic. Let’s just say he aced the class without breaking a sweat.”
“And you fell for his charms, not knowing that he had a darker side?”
She nodded. “He was perfect. Good-looking. Talkative. Funny. Or so I thought at the time.”
“What kind of things did he like to talk about?”
She shrugged. “His classes. His future plans. Football. Nothing specific.”
“Did he ever care about what was important to you?”
“Not really.” She stopped, not realizing until that moment that most of their conversations had revolved around him. “When I had news, he’d quickly change the subject back to him. I guess I should have seen the warning signs earlier.”
“It’s not your fault. You tried. He obviously didn’t. So what made you see him as the jerk that he is?”
“We’d been dating for a little more than six months when I didn’t feel well and came back to my dorm room early from a class to find him in bed with my roommate.”
Jax clenched his hands. “If I’d been around, he wouldn’t have gotten away with that.”
She took comfort in hearing the protective tones in Jax’s voice. “Well, I’m glad you weren’t there.”
Jax’s brows rose in a question.
“He wasn’t worth you getting into trouble. Besides, I’ve lived and learned, even if it was the hard way. The important part is I won’t be making those same mistakes again.”
“But you have to know that all men aren’t like him.” Jax’s voice grew deep. “If you were mine, I’d never look at another woman as long as I lived.”
Her gaze met his. Her heart once again went thump-thump. “Seriously? You’d really only have eyes for me?”
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.” His thumb stroked her cheek, followed her jawline and rubbed over her bottom lip. His gaze never left hers.
His touch sent her insides quivering with excitement. She was drawn to him like a butterfly to a field of poppies. Not waiting for him to make the first move, she pressed her lips to his thumb. His eyes lit up with excitement. She was enjoying this new side of herself and she didn’t want this moment to end.
The tip of her tongue darted out, stroking the length of his finger. She immediately heard the swift intake of his breath. He wanted her. And she wanted him. There were no strings. No promises. Just the intrigue of finding out where this moment might lead.
Jax pulled away. “I have to get the sauce... It’s getting too hot. It’s bubbling over. I don’t want it to...uh, burn.”
He moved away and Cleo smiled to herself knowing that she’d gotten to him. This thing between them, whatever it was, was not over. Not by a long shot.
Jax kept his attention focused on the food. “You know there are good guys in this world.”
“I know. You’re one of them.”
He shook his head. “I don’t mean me. I’m not right for you. But there’s someone better waiting to find you.”
“I doubt it.” The smiled faded from her face. “Besides, the people that you’re supposed to be able to trust the most are the first ones to let you down when you really need them.”
“We’re not talking about jerk face anymore, are we?”
She shook her head and lowered her gaze to the floor. She couldn’t help but think of her family. They were the ones she always thought she could count on—no matter what.
“I honestly think you should call you mother.”
He was really pushing for a mother-daughter reunion. Buy why? Was he that anxious to get rid of her and he just couldn’t bring himself to say it?
Dread filled her heart. She’d been down this road before. Her instinct was to leave and not look back. She could return to the casino and he could fly back to New York. But as much as she wanted that to happen, some ape man out there was looking for them. For now, they were stuck here together.
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#uee4f3a96-b1a4-5441-94cf-f47d18c9456e)
BY THE END of the week, Cleo had promised she’d call her mother if he’d just quit pestering her.
Now the moment of truth had arrived. She stared at the disposable cell phone the same way she would a rattler—one false move and she’d be in a world of regret. Whatever made her think calling home was a good idea? Oh, yes, Jax. He seemed to be full of all sorts of advice these days.
And the part she hated most was knowing he was right. She missed her family. After fighting to follow her own path in life and to be able to make her own choices, she still didn’t feel complete. There was a gap in her life—her mother and brothers.
Jax’s voice echoed in her mind. Deep down she still loves you. What do you have to lose?
Inhaling a steadying breath, Cleo picked up the phone. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to do as Jax suggested, but she could do the next best thing. She dialed an old, familiar number. Her stomach quivered like a dried leaf on a blustery fall day. What if—
“Hello?”
She knew the deep timbre of the male voice. “Kurt, it’s Cleo.”
“Cleo?” Her oldest brother said her name as if he was talking to a ghost. “What are you doing calling? Is something wrong?”
It was not exactly the greeting she’d been hoping for. This was nothing like the cheerful calls she’d used to make from college. But then again that was another lifetime. Things had changed irrevocably since then.
“I—I— How are things there?”
“Not so good. I’ve been putting off telling Mom about the mess with the bank, but I need to do it soon.”
“You know Mom has no head for business. That’s why Dad left you in charge. If you tell her, she’ll just worry.” And have one more thing to hold against Cleo.
“And if we don’t come up with some money soon, there won’t be a business for any of us to worry about.”
Cleo worried the inside of her lip, wondering if she should mention her promotion. After her accident and now with her missing work, she didn’t know if she’d still have a job when she returned. Although Jax seemed certain that her job was protected. Maybe he was right.
“I got a big promotion at work.” Then in her excitement, she forgot that she hadn’t told her family about her job at the casino.
“That’s nice, sis. But we need more than a bump in your paycheck to cover the arrears on this loan.” He sighed. “I should tell you that I’ve had to sell off some of the stock, including Buttercup.”
Cleo gasped. She loved and missed the even-tempered mare. The backs of her eyes started to burn. It was the last gift her father had given her—no, it wasn’t. There was the horse her father had bought for her as a bribe to move home. But the horse had died in the same accident that snuffed out her father’s life. With that sobering thought in mind, she knew she had no right to complain about her brother’s actions.
“I’m sorry, Cleo. I’ve had to drastically reduce the overhead.”
She swiped at her eyes and sniffled. “I—I understand.”
Maybe Jax was right. Maybe now was the time to be up front with her family about her choices. It was time to quit sneaking around and pretending to be the person they wanted her to be instead of showing them the real Cleo.
Taking a calming breath, she gripped the phone tightly. “Kurt, this promotion is a lot more than a bump in my check. I’m now working as a casino host.”
“What?” There was a pause as though he were letting the news sink in. “You mean you wear slinky outfits and flirt with men to get them to gamble more?”
“No. I wear really nice clothes. In fact, I design and make my own clothes.”
