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“Last year, our neighbor traveled to Torgendam to buy lumber and he never came home. Some say a bear got him, but others say it was a forest demon. And it was the year before that some merchants from Arkenchif – that’s in Capotia – told us that outlaws are kidnapping people on the west end of the Great Imperial Road and selling them to the cannibals in Unguru! The Heavenly Deity only knows what those Virilans will come up with. I’ve heard merchants say that they aren’t humans at all, but walking dead. If one of them puts a hand on you, it’s as cold as the grave! How’s a woman supposed to let her son go there? Be careful, neighbor! He’s your only child. You raised him all on your own. May the Heavenly Deity keep him from danger!”
After several such visits with friends, Sevelia cursed Ronko for coaxing her son away from a normal, steady career. She cursed Ontius Sanery, who she was sure would treat her poor boy like a dog, and even (quietly, in her heart of hearts) cursed the Emperor for being too weak to refuse his ageing coterie of advisors. Uni had to grit his teeth and listen to her for several hours, and all of his arguments in favor of this grand opportunity to demonstrate his abilities were countered by the contention, always final, that there was no way he could understand a mother’s heart.
In the end, his patience wearing thin, he escaped to his beloved archive (after all, the Emperor had personally instructed him to prepare himself for the upcoming journey). Once he stood again in front of the achingly familiar gates – shaped like a scroll being unrolled – he had to force himself to go in. He too clearly remembered being escorted out of the archive the day before. The guards must have been aware of his new status, for they merely nodded at him as he went in. Uni reflected that Dorgoe, while outwardly unattractive, was eminently capable of carrying out the tasks entrusted to him, not forgetting even the smallest details.
Inside, the archive greeted him with its usual chilly air and odor of leather scroll cases. The archive workers who passed him in the halls gave him nervously polite smiles, and Uni concluded that the weather had changed in his favor. As always, Enel Barko was the only one truly happy to see him: the old man met him with open arms.
The brand-new diplomat bowed low before his teacher and promised that he would not let him down on this important mission. Barko had news. Enel Forsey had already sent a messenger to the archive to request that Uni be tested on his knowledge of the Virilan language and the results immediately sent to the palace. Once the messenger was gone, Enel Margio had given Barko a clear set of instructions: either the elderly master could report that Uni was incompetent, or he could leave the archive that same day, never to return.
“They wouldn’t dare!” Uni exploded. “I’ll tell Ronko everything. What a dirty trick! What a gross violation of the will of our Heavenly Lord!”
Barko shook his head. “You call it a dirty trick and a violation, but they don’t care about what you think. Everyone knows who is really in charge at the palace. I remember the old Emperor. He was a harsh man, to be sure, but people minded themselves around him. There was none of this back stabbing. The young Emperor is cut from a different cloth. He’s not a bad man, and he’s very intelligent. When he was a boy, everyone who knew him said he was kind and good. But now that he’s grown, what good is he to us? He’s soft and lazy, and he is too dependent on his advisors’ opinions and changing moods. Do you think he cares about a lowly servant like me? He’ll forget about me by tomorrow, even if that Ronko of yours manages to put in a word for me. He’s a wonderful Emperor compared to the monsters our Empire has known in the past. The reign of Kergenius will be remembered as a golden age, of that I am sure…” He gave a wry smile. “When have we ever had so much freedom? Each man does as he wishes, as if we had no Emperor at all and no Heavenly Deity over our heads.” The old man rubbed his forehead. “What is the use? The weak are glad to have freedom, but the strong are the ones who profit from it. Look at me. This archive is the only home I’ve ever known. If they let me go, I’ll die that very same day. No, the weak and poor have no need for freedom. It is a burden to them. Once the strong have everything their way, this new freedom will make the old days look like paradise.” His voice trailed off.
“Enel Barko,” I…I…won’t let them touch a hair on your head! I will march myself into the palace right now and tell them that if anything happens to you, I won’t go on the mission to Virilan. That’s what I’ll do! They can manage without me however they like.” Uni’s eyes shone wet. “It’s beyond imagination that they could have so little respect for your age and your hard work!” He grew even angrier when he recalled Forsey’s arrogant face and how he had ignored him at the council meeting.
Barko put a hand on his young friend’s shoulder. “Thank you, my boy! I’ve been in this bug-infested place so long that I can’t imagine life without it. I’ll die here in these walls, probably right at this desk.” Uni sniffled at this. “And don’t worry about me. They can’t hurt me, even if they try.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m too old to be afraid of anyone. What can they do, if you think about it? Margio will yell and carry on, but the whole pack of them are slippery cowards.” His old eyes sparkled as he looked at Uni. “I told Margio where he could put his threats. I told him there was no way I would follow his orders, even if he took a knife to me right here.”
Uni was impressed. “What did he do?”
“What could he do? He howled for a while, then he cursed me and went off to wherever it is he goes. Don’t worry, Uni! Everything will be fine. Let’s celebrate your new appointment.” At this, the old master opened a box behind his desk and drew out a dusty bottle of what they called “archival wine.”
Archive masters since time immemorial had hidden bottles in the depths of the stacks and storage rooms, planting them as gifts to their counterparts in the future. When someone stumbled across a bottle, the masters had a holiday (merriment was a rare thing in their lives, so they made the most of it). The older the bottle, the bigger the holiday. Long-time archivists claimed that archival dust and mouse droppings made the wine so strong that one cup could knock a man over. They also said that the one who drank the first cup imbibed all the wisdom of the scrolls with which the bottle had been found.
When Barko brought out the bottle, Uni at first tried to excuse himself, explaining that no official orders had been made yet and first, he had to survive an important meeting with the head of the mission. Barko cut him off and, with a twinkle in his eye, explained that this particular bottle had been found between two Virilan manuscripts, and that Uni simply had to drink it to complete his knowledge of that most complex language. As a final argument, the old man hinted that he might withhold his recommendation letter.
Uni was overcome with a desire to embrace his teacher and mentor, but he refrained until most of the bottle of wine was already in his stomach. Barko, as always, drank very little. As they sat and talked, the old man told him that he had dreamed of seeing Virilan since he was a young boy. He was satisfied that he had managed to convey that desire to his student.
When it was time for Uni to go, Barko took hold of his hand. “Chances are we will never see each other again,” he said, his voice cracking.
“Teacher, don’t say that! You will live longer than any of us! And anyway, wherever I go, and wherever I am, you will always be with me, and your knowledge will be in me.” The master walked his most dedicated student to the door, and they parted.
“I wonder if I really will ever see this place again?” Uni suddenly wondered. Only the Heavenly Deity knew.
A wave of sadness rose in his throat, and he finally realized what a great time he had had inside of those cold walls and how much of himself he was leaving behind.
“Uni! You still need to put on your good robe and fix your hair! Get up, boy! You don’t want to shame your mother, do you?”
“Coming, coming…” Uni mumbled. He realized that the wine had slowly but surely done its work. Oh life-giving Sun! I drink perhaps two times a year, and of course one of those times had to be today. If only I could get through it without a scandal…
* * *
Scandal was avoided. Uni carried himself with cautious dignity in front of his mother, and by the time he reached the villa where his future superior lived, he was back in the clear. He smiled sweetly at the marble dryad in the fountain and waved at the two stone lions guarding the door.
“I wonder what they feed them?” he said aloud, and petted one of the predators behind the ear. The lion was friendly but cold to the touch, confirming Uni’s suspicion that the animals were underfed.
“My goal is to not get fed to these lions after my interview,” he thought with a grin before walking bravely down the wide hallway to a meeting with his fate.
Judging by the view that opened up, fate had some very nice things to offer. Ontius Sanery’s villa was known for its collection of ancient artifacts from distant lands. Visitors called it a museum, but it also reminded them of a heap of trophies lying on the battlefield, awaiting distribution to various warriors. Not that the villa’s owner had any intention of sharing out his richly colored paintings from Mustobrim or his metal basins from Arincil, each large enough to fit a small bull. It was rumored that after victorious battles, the Arincils used these basins to bathe in their enemies’ still-hot blood. Uni wondered fleetingly if Sanery used them for this purpose too. A silly idea, of course, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Margio or Forsey did.
A servant slowly opened the elaborately carved wooden door at the end of the hall. Uni immediately recognized the style as coming from Torgendam. “It must be made of Karanham oak. How on earth did they bring it all this way?”
“The aspiring nobleman Enel Virando!” rang out by his ear. Uni jumped. He realized he had already been promoted two levels in the Empire’s convoluted system of ranks.
There was a scraping sound in the room, and the servant moved aside so that Uni could approach his new superior. I’m going to have to work with this man day and night for at least six months, so I need to get off on the right foot with him.
The man seated at the low table in front of Uni had small, unpleasant features, and his face was stretched out like the reflection in a cheap mirror. In a grating voice, he informed his visitor that he might approach.
“What a diplomat!” Uni thought. “I suppose I was naïve to think that they were all pleasant and charming.”
“You may take a seat,” the man said without looking up from the papers in his hand. “I am reading your background. None of it makes any sense. The fools in the chancery have messed everything up again.” He glanced up at Uni in annoyance. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself instead?”
“About myself? There isn’t much to tell.” Uni was beginning to feel like this whole meeting was a waste of time. “I was born in the capital in the year of the Heavenly Era 379. I graduated from the Imperial Academy with a degree in literature and started working at His Majesty’s archive as an assistant master in the department of foreign manuscripts…”
“I don’t need to hear all the useless details. If that’s how you plan to interpret for me, I can tell you right away that I don’t need an interpreter like that.”
Something in Uni snapped. “Is that so? Tell me what kind of interpreter you need and I’ll run outside and get him.” For a second, he was stunned by his own insolence.
“Young man, I think you have forgotten where you are! I have to wonder at whoever raised you. Surely you understand that civility is of the utmost importance for a diplomat.” The man kept his head down, perusing Uni’s record. “Aha! My instinct was correct. I see here that you had no one to teach you how to behave.” He shook his head. “No father. Such a pity.” Then he looked up and blinked. “Who was your father, anyway? Do you even know?”
“My father was a warrior,” Uni shot back. “He was killed on the northern border protecting disrespectful but highly placed officials from the barbarians. They were the same kind of officials that now try teaching good manners to his son.” The man’s mouth was hanging open at this point. Without pausing for breath, Uni went on. “I may be your interpreter, but that does not make me your servant. And consider this: you have much more to lose than I do. If something goes wrong, you’re the one who will answer for it. Have I made myself clear?”
Great Sun! He thought. Did I really just say that? I must be losing my mind. He’ll grind me into dust for that. I’m a fool! A complete, unteachable fool!
Instantly sobered by fear, Uni tensed his body and waited to see what his punishment would be. The man leaned forward and gripped the edge of the table until his fingers went white, but the result of Uni’s impulsivity was not what he had expected.
The older man twisted his mouth into what passed for a smile. “You must forgive me, Enel Virando! I apologize if I spoke harshly of your honorable parents. Let us continue our discussion in harmony. Would you mind answering a few more questions?”
It worked! Uni thought, and his muscles began to relax. “Of course,” he replied, sounding charitable. “That was the purpose of my visit to your lovely residence,” he added to soften the effects of his offensive.
“Wonderful. Let’s see, we’ve cleared up the issue of your father. Your mother, Sevelia Virando, is the fortunate owner of the Happy Trout tavern, am I correct?
“Yes. Only it is not a tavern, but an inn,” Uni replied. “One of the nicer inns in the capital,” he added.
“Of course, I apologize. Now let’s see…ah, your reputation. A sensitive issue. A diplomat must be able to control himself in any situation. Remember that you are not representing yourself, but the entire country and our Heavenly Leader. Do you understand?”
“I’m not sure what you are driving at.”
The man winced. “I’ll be less vague. Do you enjoy drinking?”
“Do I look like I do?”
“I’m certainly no specialist in that area,” the man replied with dignity. “But it says here that you have a habit of drinking and carousing. That,” he looked up, “is catastrophic for a diplomat.”
“The Emperor is already aware of what you call my ‘carousing’.”
“Is that so?” The man’s face grew longer. “What did he say?”
“He sent me here to meet you.”
“I see. Well, I have to say your experience is pretty thin, too. You’ve never been part of a diplomatic mission. That’s bad. And languages? How well do you know Virilan?”
“I have a letter of recommendation from the senior master of the foreign manuscripts department, Enel Barko. He is the Empire’s foremost specialist on Virilan.”
The man brightened. “Ah, a recommendation. That’s better. Let’s see it.” He unrolled the scroll Uni handed him. “Well informed, extensive vocabulary, capable of conversation, my best and only student…” He frowned. “That’s all well and good, but where is the seal of the archive? My dear boy, you’re applying for a very important job and here you’ve skipped one of the most important procedures!”
“Does Enel Ronko’s word carry no weight with you? And the Emperor’s personal request?”
“Yes, of course, but I can’t put this in your file without a seal. I’m sure you understand. Even our Heavenly Lord, may the Bright Deity give him health and happiness for years without end, has been known to change his mind about things. Paper, my boy, is more reliable…”
“Do you really think I am trying to fool you?”
“Not at all,” the man spluttered. “I just need you to understand that this business is not as simple as it might seem to an outsider. Administrative procedures are tiresome, but they do matter. You don’t expect me to run around putting seals on documents, do you?”
“If that’s all that you need, I’ll do it myself. Just tell me exactly what is required.”
“Now you’re starting to understand. It won’t be difficult at all, especially since I’ve taken a liking to you – a nice young man who grew up without a father and made his own way in life. I’d hate to ask you to run around stamping documents. If you’re prepared to compensate the administrative costs, then…”
Uni nearly leaped from his seat. “What did you say?” He felt like he’d been doused with cold water in the middle of winter. “Are you, the Emperor’s ambassador, really asking me, your own interpreter, to pay a bribe just to put a stamp on my recommendation?”
“Ambassador?” the long-faced man stared back at Uni. “Don’t make me laugh.” He couldn’t help giggling. “Why on earth did you think that a nobleman and advisor like Sanery would condescend to meeting with you? You are an interpreter, which is no better than a tool in his hands. A hammer, if you will. You’re picked up when needed and set down when there are more important matters to attend to!”
“Me? A hammer? I didn’t come here to be insulted. Who are you, anyway? My instructions clearly state that I am supposed to meet with the ambassador in person. Are you the ambassador? No. Give me my recommendation back. I won’t leave this house until I see Ontius Sanery. He can’t possibly have anything more important to do than talking to me at the moment!”
“You are correct, young man,” rang out a pleasant baritone. Uni turned and saw a man slightly taller than himself, with a slight paunch and gray eyes that shone with a sincere smile. It was the smile that surprised him more than anything.
“Forgive me, I was engaged when you arrived,” the ambassador continued. “Groki here undertook to entertain you. I hope he was not…overly familiar.” At this, Sanery’s smile grew even sweeter.
Uni gave what he hoped was a proper bow. “Of course not, we had a delightful time.”
Sanery bowed slightly, in perfect accordance with palace etiquette. “Let us take our conversation into the other room,” he gestured with a plump hand toward the room he had just come out of. “Please, follow me.”
Suddenly overcome with shyness, Uni walked quickly into the room, only afterwards remembering that he should have let his host enter first. Sanery made no notice. Shutting the door behind them, he gestured for his guest to sit down on one of the cushions arranged on the gorgeous red and gold carpet. “In Mustobrim, they say that chairs put unnecessary distance between people. I’m sure you are as motivated as I am to establish good rapport during our first meeting.”
“Of course,” said Uni, nervously glancing around the room. He noted the whitewashed walls and the pale blue frieze. The ceiling was supported by four columns of carved wood, and the elegant carved screens and bookshelves between them created a pleasant place for intimate conversation.
“Antiques from Mustobrim,” Uni realized in a flash. Long ago, he had seen a very old book that described rooms just like this. “All that’s missing are the weapons on the walls.” Just then, he noticed a pair of handsome daggers hanging on one wall. He was impressed by the ambassador’s simple good taste.
He turned to face the man. “Esteemed Enel Sanery, it would be an honor for me to work with you to further the good of the Empire and our Heavenly Lord! Allow me to humbly hand you my recommendations, which confirm…”
“No need!” Sanery waved a hand at the scroll Uni held out. He invited Uni to sit down on a cushion and did the same. “These formalities are a waste of time. The Emperor wishes for you to do the job, and there’s no one else who can do it. It’s already been decided. Anyway, that’s not why I wanted to see you, Enel Virando. Would you like some tea?”
“I would, thank you. You can call me Uni. That’s what my friends call me.”
The young interpreter immediately took a liking to Sanery. He didn’t feel like he was talking to a much higher-ranking nobleman. His new superior was very approachable, and his round head, with its bald spots and slightly protruding ears, gave him an almost humorous air.
Sanery stretched his legs out. “They say that wine is the drink of the wise, and that grand ideas come to those that try it,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “Do not believe it! Tea is the wondrous drink that brings man closer to the greatest secrets of life. The Mustobrims drink it without the addition of other herbs, but very hot and very sweet. It’s an expensive habit, but worth it. You should try it. You’ll like it!”
The fashion for tea had reached the Empire via Capotian merchants, but it did not grow in Capotia. As far as anyone knew, it only grew in the Land of the One True God, where the monks used it to stay awake for prayers that lasted for days at a time. Sevelia Virando had been known to object strenuously to the Capotians introducing good Herandians to their odd tastes solely so they could fill their deep pockets with more gold. Uni began to suspect that his new superior had done his part in enriching the Capotians, who controlled all the trade in tea, including its sale in stores throughout the Empire. Nonetheless, he gratefully accepted the dish of tea he was handed and imbibed the steaming liquid. It left an unfamiliar but not unpleasant taste in his mouth.
“Wonderful!” he exclaimed.
“I’m delighted to see you have no trouble adapting to foreign customs,” Sanery praised him. “I think you will make an excellent diplomat. I was told that you know a great deal about Virilan in addition to the language. Is that so?”
“Your praise of my modest talent is flattering.”
“Oh, there’s no flattery here. Believe me, the key to a country’s heart is a solid knowledge of its customs and traditions. It’s also the best way to achieve what you want in negotiations. All barbarians – all foreigners, I suppose – tend to trust those in whom they see something of themselves. It’s the only way to approach them. Serious proposals, flattery, even gifts are pointless if you are unable to gain the friendship of the person you are negotiating with. That is the first rule of imperial diplomacy.” He gave a wry smile. “Did you think I just collect these things,” he waved a hand around the room, “because it’s a hobby?”
“Of course not!”
“You did. Everyone does. But let me tell you, all the things you see in my home play an important role in my missions. Do you know why I’ve never had a mission fail? I’ll tell you. It’s because of these things.” Sanery looked around the room with obvious pleasure. “Yes, these antiques are my best helpers in the difficult work of diplomacy. How else could I gain such a deep understanding of a foreign culture? You must know more than what is on your partner’s mind. That’s the first mistake most diplomats make – they try to calculate everything, as if people were pieces in a board game. Remember this: even the most influential people live by feeling, emotion, faith, and all sorts of other irrational things. Only the Heavenly Deity can possibly know everything about a culture!”
Uni’s head was swimming. “You mean the things you collect help you take on the character of the people you negotiate with?”
“Of course. You can’t begin to understand a Torg if you’ve never run your hand over the skin of a wild animal he just brought down. And you’ll never understand a Mustobrim if you’ve never tried tea. I won’t even start on the Arincils. I see you’ve understood me perfectly. I will take that as a sign that we will work well together.”
“I’ll do everything to keep from disappointing you, I promise!”
“I have no doubt that we will enjoy the greatest of trust. You’ve never been on a delegation before, but don’t let that worry you. Everyone has to start somewhere. I know next to nothing about Virilan, so you will be my teacher.”
“How could I ever be your teacher?”
“I mean exactly what I said. You aren’t just my interpreter. One of your most important jobs will be to keep all of us from making mistakes.”
“Do you mean…”
“Exactly! Every culture has unwritten rules of behavior. Imagine some sort of prohibition that a local would never think of violating, but a foreigner would know nothing about. You will be responsible for keeping us out of hot water.”
Uni nodded. “Because there’s no one else who can do it.”
“Precisely. I will not bore you by reminding you of the heavy responsibility on your young shoulders. I will just warn you that there will be times that you will have to be my eyes and ears.”
“I understand. This is amazing…and unexpected. You are too kind to me, Enel Sanery!”
Sanery beamed. “You aren’t afraid of hard work, I see. I hope that’s because you are young and strong and not because you’re flighty and lacking in experience.” He let that sink in for a second. “And here’s another rule of diplomacy. The entire delegation must act as one. There is no room for personal ambition, keeping score, or worship of rank. All of that must be left at home. All of us must help each other and work together to ensure the success of the mission.”
“It sounds so noble, Enel Sanery!”
“There’s nothing noble about it. It’s survival, my friend. I don’t know how you imagine it, but a delegation is nothing pretty. It’s two dozen men torn from their home country and sent to a far-off land where the people may be hostile. The road there takes months, and you spend each and every day of that time with the same people. Can you imagine it? Everyone’s usually sick of each other by the second week. The smallest conflict can spark trouble and ruin everything. Add in danger, brigands, excessive cold or heat, unfamiliar food, illness – everything conspires to work against the mission. Here at home, in our lovely capital, we bow to men of rank and ignore those without it. But when you’re in a foreign land, your servant may be the one who ends up saving your life! Of course, we retain our ranks, but we leave the ceremonies and the snobbism at home. Actually,” he coughed, “there will be plenty of formality during the negotiations. Once those start, you’ll have to stay on your toes.”
Uni was elated. “Thank you for telling me these things! All I can say is that my friends and coworkers have always found me to be friendly and easy to get along with. I promise I won’t cause any trouble. The success of the mission is my only goal, and I swear by the Heavenly Deity that I’ll do everything I can to help achieve it!”
“Very good, young man. I have no doubt that you will. I have dealt with all sorts of people in my time, and I can tell that you are sincere. Working with you will be a pleasure. We leave in five days, so I suggest you prepare yourself for the trip.
“Five days?” Uni gasped.
