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Thank You, God.
Chapter Two (#ulink_2fac8231-8ca5-5e7a-974d-7b8840cea3b3)
Sometimes, God gives us tough decisions to make, and maybe I made the wrong one.
The main room of the trailer had a small kitchen to the left, a couple of desks in the center forming a workspace and a tiny sitting area to the right with a sofa and television. “You brought your résumé?” Savvy asked, guiding Isabella to the kitchen table.
“I did.” Isabella handed her the piece of paper.
Savvy scanned it as she spoke. “After you left yesterday, I realized I never told you the history behind Willow’s Haven. Brodie reminded me that it’s important everyone who works here knows how the place has come about and the reason behind our desire to help children.”
Isabella had wondered what caused Savvy and her husband to start the home. “Were you orphaned?”
“Technically, no,” Savvy said, “but my mother abandoned me when I was born and left me to be raised by my grandparents. I was fortunate, because my grandparents are amazing, but there are a lot of kids who are abandoned by their parents and have nowhere to go, which is why we’ll help children who are either orphaned or abandoned. That’s the reason we’re classified as a children’s home, rather than an orphanage.”
Isabella could hear the compassion in Savvy’s voice as she talked about the home, and it touched her heart. “It sounds amazing,” she said, praying she’d get this job and have an opportunity to be a part of something that would truly change children’s lives. “Where did you get the name, Willow’s Haven?”
“It’s named after my best friend, Willow Jackson. This trailer was her home.” She took another look at the résumé and glanced up at Isabella. “Willow passed away a little over a year ago and left her children to me. Brodie and I couldn’t get over how much love Dylan, Rose and Daisy needed after Willow died, and we couldn’t stop thinking about the children who didn’t have anyone to provide that love. We knew there were orphaned and abandoned children who didn’t have anyone who would talk to them about things that are truly important, like faith and God.”
Isabella’s throat tightened. She’d never had anyone mention faith or God in the orphanages she’d lived in. She’d latched on to every snippet of God’s love that she’d learned on the rare occasions she’d gotten to attend church, primarily at Easter and Christmas, and that was only because those were the times the churches gave cash to the orphanages or foster homes. But those tiny glimpses of God, whenever she got them, saw her through the hard times. Gave her hope. Even if she’d seen Richard as something of a savior when she’d been eighteen.
“So the plan for Willow’s Haven is to provide a Christian environment where children will know that they are loved by the staff and, more importantly, by God. And our ultimate goal, of course, is to place each child in a loving, Christian home.”
“That sounds incredible.” Isabella wondered how different her life would’ve been if she’d have been placed somewhere like Willow’s Haven. Would she have responded so quickly to all of the attention Richard Gray provided?
Savvy’s dark eyes practically sparkled with excitement. “I know. We were so blessed that Ryan Brooks and Dana Brooks Cutter—the brother and sister at the head of Brooks International—thought so, too. Their company is funding the child home. And I was so excited to hear from you so soon. I just placed the ad three days ago.”
Isabella didn’t want to lie about seeing an ad that she still hadn’t laid eyes on. “I believe God led me here.”
Savvy’s mouth lifted on one side. “I’m thinking you may be right.” She pointed toward the kitchen. “I made a pot of coffee earlier. Would you like some?”
“Sure, but I can fix it.” Isabella served herself a cup of coffee with plenty of cream and sugar. “You want some, too?”
“Already had three cups.” Savvy held up the résumé. “You have a business administration degree, but it doesn’t appear that you’ve used it.”
“No, but I’d like to.”
Savvy looked as though she wanted to ask more about the degree but then thankfully moved down the page. “Okay, I see your volunteer work teaching swimming at the Y, but this says you’ve also been volunteering at the charity hospital in Atlanta, up until last week?”
Isabella sipped her coffee, enjoyed the delicious warm liquid on her tongue. “I put the name of the administrator under my references. I really enjoyed working there, volunteering there, I guess I should say.”
Savvy wrote something on the paper. “What made you start volunteering at those places, and why did you leave?”
She’d started volunteering at the Y because Nan told her she’d enjoy working there. Nan had held a paid position as an office assistant at the Y until she was too sick and went to the hospital, where she met Isabella.
Isabella wouldn’t tell Savvy about her relationship with Titus’s ex-wife, so she focused on the other reason she’d started volunteering. “My husband—ex-husband—and I divorced last year. I wasn’t feeling very good about myself at the time, and I wanted to do something to help others while I waited for the divorce to be final. Then I planned to move away, find a small town and start my life new, away from the big-city lifestyle.”
“You don’t get much farther away from big-city than Claremont,” Savvy said, grinning.
“I realized that last night, when I went to the town square.” Isabella recalled the quaint Mayberry-type atmosphere that radiated from the place.
“And so your divorce just finalized, and you were looking for a small town where you could settle down?”
“No. It was final six months ago, but I...” She struggled to say enough, without saying too much. “I became friends with one of the patients at the hospital, and I didn’t want to leave until—” she carefully picked her words “—until she no longer needed me.”
Savvy’s hand moved to her heart. “You’re going to be great here, you know. You may even be perfect to oversee a cabin eventually, but having you in the office will work, as well.”
Isabella wanted her to understand how much she already felt drawn to Willow’s Haven. “I was raised in orphanages,” she said. “And they were terrible. I won’t go into detail, because I honestly don’t want to think about it—or talk about it—ever again. But when you described what your plans were for Willow’s Haven, I felt like God brought me here for a reason. Because I know how children feel when they’re abandoned, and I know how important it would’ve been to me to have someone who cared, someone who told me about God and someone who truly loved me.”
Two thick tears trickled down Savvy’s cheeks, and she brushed them away. “I knew God answered my prayers with you,” she said softly. “I’d like to go ahead and show you everything today, what computer software we’ve bought for the office, the files that we’re going through in our search for children needing a home. There are plenty of kids—too many, truth be told—but we want to be ready to take as many as we can as soon as possible. As the cabins go up, we want to fill them.” She motioned toward one of the small desks with a laptop. “Everything’s over there. We’ll go ahead and get started. Sound good?”
“That sounds great.” Eagerness flooded Isabella’s soul. God had brought her here. She could feel it. And she couldn’t wait to get started.
“I thought it would,” Savvy said. “And while you’re figuring things out, I’ll call your references. But I already know that everything will be fine.”
Happy with this turn of events, Isabella took her coffee and started across the room as the phone on the desk began to ring. “Do you want me to get that?”
“Sure,” Savvy said. “Just answer, ‘Willow’s Haven.’”
Isabella picked up the phone on the third ring. “Willow’s Haven,” she said. “Can I help you?”
“Well, ma’am, I hope you can. I’m trying to get in touch with a Mr. Titus Jameson. I called his office, and the voice mail left this number. Would he happen to be there? It’s rather important.”
“Yes, he is. Hold on one moment, and I’ll see if he’s available.” She lowered the receiver and said to Savvy, “It’s a gentleman looking for Titus. He said it’s important.”
She nodded. “His cell doesn’t pick up out here. Let me see if I can get him.”
Isabella waited while Savvy went outside. She heard her calling Titus’s name, and then she returned.
“He wasn’t far away,” she said. “He’s coming.”
A few minutes later, Titus entered, his forehead already starting to dampen with sweat and his work shirt beginning to cling to his muscled frame.
Isabella handed him the phone while trying not to stare.
Not an easy feat.
“Thanks,” he said, his fingertips brushing hers in the exchange.
“You’re welcome.” She didn’t want to blush, but she thought it might be happening anyway, so she turned her attention to the laptop in front of her, even though the only thing on it was a screensaver of Dylan, Rose and Daisy.
“This is Titus,” he said.
Isabella heard the other man’s voice, a distant mumbling through the receiver as he spoke to Titus, but she couldn’t make out the words. And she really didn’t want to eavesdrop on the conversation, so she moved the mouse around on the computer with the hopes that something would show up besides the screensaver.
Savvy had gone to the kitchen area and started washing dishes. But since Titus took the call at the desk, and there wasn’t a whole lot of room for him to walk around and talk with the cordless, he simply sat in the chair opposite Isabella and listened to the man on the other end.
Which made it easy for her to see when the color drained from his face.
“She’s...dead?” His eyes slid closed and he remained silent for a moment, while the other man’s muffled words continued to sound through the phone. Then Titus took a deep breath and answered, “No, I’m not her brother,” he said, his words slow and deliberate, as though he struggled to get them out. “I’m her husband.”
Chapter Three (#ulink_418ff5c0-6f44-5d9e-bf6e-5fa48cdb7b92)
I thought I could handle anything, that we could handle anything, but I learned my limitations.
It’d taken Titus six days to gather the right words to tell Savannah that her mommy would never come back. The phone call from the hospital had sucker punched him, and he hadn’t known how to deal with the blow. Nan had been sick. Dying. And he hadn’t even known.
And his “closure” had been pathetic. Pitiful, even. Nan hadn’t had a funeral. An online memorial page had been set up by the hospital for guests to sign. There weren’t even any pictures. According to the guy from the hospital and the memorial page, Nan had chosen to donate her body to science in the hopes of curing the rare kidney disease that killed her. That, of course, was the type of thing the woman he knew and loved would’ve done.
But what had happened to Nan between the time she left and the time she died? He’d learned from the memorial page that she’d worked at the Atlanta inner-city YMCA before she’d gotten sick, but that was all. She’d had an entire new life that he knew nothing about.
During the past three years, he’d been confused. Hurt. But for the past six days, he’d been angry. And oddly enough, his anger hadn’t been focused on Nan but on God. How could He deal Titus this blow? How could He have turned his back so thoroughly on Titus and, even more, on Savannah?
Savannah. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about his little girl. She was already so sad from Nan’s abandonment, but now he couldn’t even offer her hope of seeing her mommy. And he wondered if he’d ever see her happy again.
But each time he doubted whether she could recover from all this, he thought of the way she lit up each morning when Isabella talked to her about what she planned to do to her hair. And he thought about the way she played with Rose and Daisy and the fact that those two little girls had lost their own mom not that long ago.
He knew Savannah could be okay, but it wouldn’t happen on its own, so he had to get out of his own funk and help his little girl. He’d hesitated about asking Isabella to do more than fix her hair each morning, because he couldn’t stop the feeling of guilt he experienced each time he was around her. He’d been attracted to her, very attracted to her, even before he learned of Nan’s passing.
Truthfully, he still was.
But his little girl had connected with Isabella, and he had the perfect means to allow them to intensify that bond and to help Savannah cope with this new pain of Nan’s death. Savannah wanted to swim, and Isabella had offered to teach her. Titus hadn’t done anything about that because he’d felt wrong for being attracted to Isabella at all. But he had to put his daughter’s needs first, so he’d deal with this attraction...and ask Isabella for help.
* * *
“My mommy is in heaven now.”
Isabella glanced up from the laptop to see Savannah, clutching the same doll she’d brought to the trailer each day since they’d first done hair together last week. She looked hopefully at Isabella as though expecting some kind of perfect response to the statement. Not knowing where this conversation would go, Isabella said a quick prayer for guidance and then said, “Yes, she is.”
A couple of blinks, a chew on her lower lip, and then Savannah added, “Daddy is sad.”
Isabella knew that was an understatement, since Titus hadn’t said a word about his wife’s passing since the phone call last week. In fact, each morning he entered the trailer, hugged and kissed Savannah before she started playing with Rose and Daisy and then worked like a madman until the sun went down. “I know he’s sad.”
And undoubtedly shocked, too. Isabella had also been shocked. That phone call had overturned the main thing she’d thought she knew about Nan. Titus hadn’t been her ex-husband; they were still married when she died. Isabella had no idea why her friend had lied about something like that, and now that Nan was gone, she’d never know.
She wanted to help Titus cope with the loss, but she barely knew him and certainly didn’t know what to say about his wife’s death. It wasn’t as if she could now tell him that she’d known Nan and had been with her, holding her hand, when she died.
The trailer door opened, and the twins bustled inside, their chatter quickly filling the room. “We got the stuff to make grilled cheeses,” Rose said, as Savvy followed them in with a bag of groceries she’d retrieved from their cabin. Rose and Daisy had asked to tag along when she went for the items, but Savannah had said she wanted to stay with Miss Isabella. She’d done this often over the past few days, asking to stay at the trailer with Isabella instead of leaving with the girls.
“My mommy went to heaven,” Savannah said to Savvy, in much the same sorrowful tone that she’d made the statement earlier.
Savvy glanced at Isabella before she responded, her features softening and her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I know, sweetheart. And I’m sure she’s happy there.” She forced a smile. “Everyone is happy in heaven.”
Savannah nodded and chewed her lip again while Rose and Daisy, completely oblivious to the conversation occurring in the kitchen, discussed which dolls they would play with first.
Isabella prayed Savannah would eventually be that happy again. And she also prayed that she could somehow make that happen. She also wanted to help Titus, but he clearly didn’t want to be helped.
Then again, he was still in the mourning stage, in spite of the fact that he hadn’t seen Nan in three years. Titus apparently dealt with his grief by working. And not speaking any more than necessary. He also hadn’t come to church Sunday, which had surprised Brodie and Savvy. They said he and Savannah were there every time the doors were open, so when Isabella agreed to visit the Claremont Community Church with her new friends, she’d expected to see him. That didn’t happen, which also made her question if he might be blaming God.
So much to wonder about the intriguing man, but not a whole lot to know for sure, since he was bound and determined to remain in his shell.
God, be with Titus. He’s hurting. We all can see it, and I’d really like to know what to do about it. He’s been dealt some terrible blows, and he’s such a hard worker and good daddy to Savannah. Please heal his heart, Lord. And if it be Your will, let me help.
She frowned, wondering if she should’ve prayed for God to let her help. Helping might mean getting closer to the man, and she’d been burned too badly by Richard to want to get close to any man again, even a man as intriguing as Titus. So she amended her prayer. God, let someone help him. And if it be Your will, let me help Savannah.
There. That prayer felt better.
“Why don’t y’all go play with your dolls while I make the sandwiches?” Savvy said to the trio of six-year-olds, pulling Isabella away from thoughts and prayers about Titus. “I’ll call you when they’re done.”
“Okay, Mommy. Come on, Savannah,” Daisy urged, taking Savannah’s arm and tugging her toward the playroom.
Savannah followed, her feet dragging in her traditional manner of reluctantly joining in the fun.
“Go on,” Isabella urged. “You’ll have a good time.”
Her shoulders lifted a little, and she followed the other girls into the playroom.
“I’m worried about her.” Savvy unwrapped the orange cheese slices and placed them on a plate near the stove.
Isabella moved to the refrigerator to retrieve the butter, then took her spot beside Savvy to spread it on the bread. The two of them had quickly grown accustomed to working together each day, whether on the computer going through the files of children needing a home or taking care of the twins and Savannah. She enjoyed having someone to talk to, to feel normal with. It reminded her of the way she’d been able to so easily talk to Nan.
And it reminded her that she shouldn’t tell too much. She’d shared everything with Nan, but Nan had kept many things—important things—from Isabella. Things that were causing her problems now, because she felt extremely guilty withholding the truth from Titus. Especially since Nan asked her to tell him how she felt.
But instead of sharing all of that with Savvy, Isabella simply said, “I’m worried about her, too.” She paused and then added, “And about Titus.”
Savvy placed the buttered bread in the skillet, the scent filling the tiny kitchen as the sizzle penetrated the air. “The way I see it, he lost Nan twice. The first time when she left them with no more than a note, and the next time when she died.”
Isabella had learned tidbits about Nan’s departure over the past week, mainly from little things Savvy said, but she’d had no idea her friend had left her husband with a note. “A note? She just left a note and then walked out?”
Savvy placed a square of cheese on each slice of bread and then Isabella topped them with another piece of bread. “I probably shouldn’t have said that, since I didn’t hear it from him, but it’s fairly common knowledge around town. So sad.”
And so unlike the Nan that Isabella had known, so caring and kind. So still in love with her ex-husband. Correction...husband.
The trailer door opened, and she turned to see the object of her thoughts stepping inside. Savvy also turned and quickly asked, “Titus, do you want some lunch? We’re making grilled cheese sandwiches, and I can easily make a couple more.”
“No thanks,” he said, his brow furrowed and his jaw tense, as though he were debating what to say.
“Is everything okay?” Savvy asked. “Did you need to talk to Brodie about the land? He and Dylan went to the college for the baseball team’s practice, but I might be able to get him on the phone if you have a question.”
“No, I don’t have any questions,” he said. “Everything is going fine with the clearing. I should make it to the third cabin’s site by tomorrow.”
Isabella noticed that, though he answered Savvy’s question, he never took his eyes off of Isabella. Her skin prickled under his gaze. During the handful of times he’d come to the trailer each day, Isabella fought the impulse to stare. He was such a mesmerizing man, with his long dark hair, the tan skin of a guy who worked outdoors, hazel eyes that only seemed to emphasize the depth of the pain he felt at his wife’s abandonment and then her death.
Isabella was drawn to him in spite of their limited conversations, and she found herself staring again. But this time, his attention seemed as focused on her as hers was on him.
“I do have a question, though, for Isabella,” he said, then looked toward the hallway that led to the playroom. “I’m also going to take the rest of the day off and spend some time with Savannah, if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine. You’ve been working much longer days than Brodie and I ever intended,” she said, grabbing a spatula and flipping the sandwiches.
