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Ethan walked with the group toward the sporting goods store and considered how he’d arrived in Claremont this morning with one goal: to begin the process of adopting Jerry and showing this little guy that someone would care about him, someone would love him unconditionally, never abandon him and take care of his every need.
In other words, he wanted to be the kind of father that he’d never had, to a boy who was so much like himself.
Because of Ethan’s own past, he’d always been drawn to those who’d been hurt or mistreated. That was why he couldn’t stop thinking about the woman who’d pierced his heart with her story.
She wanted to adopt a child but didn’t think she had anything to offer. She had no family. No job. No home.
What had happened to Lindy Burnett?
And how could Ethan help?
They reached the sporting goods store, and the twins darted inside to see their great-grandparents, Brodie and Savvy following. But Jerry didn’t join the group. Instead, he peered at the window display, which featured a bright green pedal boat suspended in the air and fishing gear propped on a sea of blue fabric.
Candace, Ethan and Lindy stopped near the boy as he placed his palms against the window and examined the items.
“What do you think of all that?” Ethan asked. “Pretty cool, huh?”
Jerry’s small fingers curled in as he moved his hands together to bracket his eyes and catch a better view. “Yes,” he said, then he jerked his head toward Ethan and quickly added, “sir.”
While Ethan was glad Jerry had finally spoken to him, he still glanced to the social worker and wondered if she was thinking the same thing—that the little boy had apparently gotten in trouble in the past for not addressing adults with respect.
What kind of trouble? Ethan wondered. And at whose hand? Who had caused the fear in those bright blue eyes? The last family he’d lived with had wanted to adopt him then decided against it, but Jerry had been in several short-term placements before he’d ended up with them. Undoubtedly, at least one of those homes had put this fear in the boy, because Jerry would’ve been too young to have worried about saying “sir” to Gil Flinn.
How many people had already hurt this child?
Lindy’s mouth turned down at the edges, and then she slowly crouched next to Jerry at the window, her long floral skirt gathering around her as she spoke to the doleful boy. “That green thing is called a pedal boat,” she said softly. “I always thought it would be fun to try one, but I’ve never had the chance.” She pulled at the edges of her pink cardigan as she leaned against the brick building and looked directly into Jerry’s eyes. Ethan was thrown once again by the sheer beauty of the woman, particularly as she spoke so tenderly to the boy. “Do you think it’d be fun, Jerry?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded, but then shook his head. “No.” He paused. “No, ma’am.”
Lindy’s lower lip trembled, and Ethan stepped closer.
“You don’t think that’d be fun, Jerry?” he asked.
Another emphatic shake, and Ethan wondered what had just transpired in the boy’s head. Why had he changed his mind so quickly? More fear?
Lindy released a heavy breath that reflected Ethan’s feelings. She looked pained, as if she felt as much agony over the child’s situation as Ethan.
Did she?
“Why don’t we go in the store, Jerry, and see what else they have, okay?” Candace prompted, placing a palm against Jerry’s back to guide him away from the window.
Ethan stepped ahead to open the door for his future son. “Want to head inside, Jerry?”
Still staring at the pedal boat, he shook his head, as though answering a silent question, then he eased away from the window and entered the store. Candace followed, while Ethan held the door.
But Lindy remained crouched near the window. Her petite features were drawn, and a heavy tear slid down her left cheek. She made no effort to wipe it away, and Ethan watched as it moved past her jaw and then trickled down the slender column of her throat.
I don’t have a family, or a job, or even a place to live.
Like Jerry, the attractive woman’s world had been upended.
But how?
She slowly stood and discreetly brushed the side of her hand along the path the tear had taken. “He wants to be strong, but he’s scared.”
Ethan thought the same thing, because he knew from experience. But how was she so sure? What had happened in her world? He released his hold on the door and allowed it to close, not wanting Jerry to overhear his words. “I have to wonder how I—or how any adult—will ever gain his trust.”
She chewed her lower lip and then swallowed. “It’ll take time, but I have to show him he can trust again.”
“You have to show him?” Ethan asked. Why would she think that was her responsibility?
“We,” she corrected herself. “We—adults—have to show him that he can trust again.”
The door opened, and Savvy peeked out. “Hey, my grandparents are eager to meet y’all.”
Daisy stuck her head out near Savvy’s hip and peered up at her. “Mom, come look at the new pink and purple life jackets they’ve got.” She tugged on the hem of Savvy’s shirt. “They’re girl colors, and one even has flowers on it.”
Savvy grinned. “I should go check those out.” She looked at Lindy and raised a finger. “Something to note, sporting goods stores aren’t just for guys anymore.” Then she smiled, and left them alone again.
“You may want to bring that up when you’re interviewing for the job,” he said, trying to lighten things and put her more at ease before she talked to the owners.
Lindy blinked, her long lashes still damp as she nodded. “Thanks, I will.”
Ethan suddenly recalled the last time he’d wanted to help a beautiful, troubled female. He’d only meant to give Jenny comfort and be a friend to her after she’d lost her parents. But he’d ended up falling for his friend. They’d grown closer, and both proclaimed love. Planned to be together forever. Gotten engaged. And then he’d lost his fiancée and his best man, when she’d left Ethan for Sean.
No doubt Lindy Burnett needed someone to care about her, someone to help her, maybe even someone to love her. But Ethan could only go so far. He could be kind. He could attempt to help. But he couldn’t let himself fall in love.
He could also pray for her and ask God to give her the job she needed, the child she wanted, the life she desired. That was what he could do, what he should do.
What he would do.
And he’d maintain the reins on his heart, the way he’d vowed to do after Jenny had left him two days before their wedding and married Sean six months later.
He opened the door again. “Ready to go get that job?”
She stepped through the entrance, Ethan trying not to notice the way her freckles looked more copper up close, or how her strawberry waves swayed against her shoulder when she moved, or that she smelled like sweet honey.
God, help her get this job. Help her adopt a child. Help her have a family again. Help her find love. And, God, help me keep my mind on Jerry...and off her.
He entered and turned away from Lindy, who was already speaking to Savvy about the potential job, and looked for the boy who would hopefully be his son soon.
Ethan perused the immaculate store, impressed with the amount of inventory. The floor space wasn’t large, yet Savvy’s grandparents had organization down to an art, with each section identified by sport. Football, basketball, soccer and baseball composed the front left side. Supplies for outdoor activities, such as kayaks, tents and fishing gear, filled the front right. The back of the store held items for golfing, tennis, track and so on.
“Look at this, Jerry. What do you think?” He selected a tiny leather T-ball glove from one of the wire baskets hanging along the left wall. Growing up, Ethan had enjoyed baseball. In Alabama, they kept the sport going year-round, which had worked for him, since he was always moving from one foster home to another. He didn’t have to learn a new activity, and by high school, he was known for having a pretty good arm. Pretty good swing, too, truth be told.
“Want to try it on? I can show you how it fits over your hand, and maybe we could go to a field around here and learn to catch some baseballs.” Ethan’s blood pumped fiercely, excitement palpable as he imagined this summer and all the days he and Jerry would spend at the local park. “Doesn’t that sound great?”
The little boy looked glumly at the glove and said nothing.
Candace knelt beside him and offered him a smile. “Jerry, would you like to play baseball sometime with Mr. Green? You can tell us if you don’t want to, or you can tell us if you do.”
Ethan could almost see himself in the scene before him, a tiny little boy listening to his social worker trying to sort out what was going on in his mind. They’d all been so nice, but he’d never had the courage to tell them the truth. What did he want? A real home. To stop moving every year. Or every month. He’d wanted a dad who loved him and cared for him. And a mom who wouldn’t stand by while his father beat him until, at merely six years old, Ethan could no longer stand.
“I don’t want to play baseball.” Jerry’s soft words weren’t delivered to Candace, but to Ethan.
He didn’t want to play baseball. That ruined Ethan’s vision, but still...he’d answered Ethan. Not Candace, but Ethan.
“Okay, then, we’ll do something else,” he said, regrouping his plans for father/son time. No baseball, no problem. He already knew they would be fishing together, since the Fishers of Men program was planned for every child at Willow’s Haven. Ethan had hoped, though, that they might find something in common that he had some sort of experience with. But in any case, he indicated the fishing items on the opposite side of the store. “We can go look at the fishing gear with Rose and Daisy if you want.”
Jerry didn’t answer, but he nodded. Another step in the right direction.
Ethan and Candace led him toward Brodie and the girls, who were checking out kid-sized fishing rods displayed in a bright yellow bucket. Savvy had taken Lindy to the back of the store to talk to her grandparents about the potential job. He watched as Savvy made introductions, and Lindy’s hand moved back to her throat as she gave them a watery smile.
How could someone so stunning have so little confidence?
“We’re excited about the Fishers of Men program,” Brodie said. “We weren’t sure we’d be able to get enough mentors from the community, but one announcement at church and a few flyers placed at the businesses around the square led to plenty.”
Ethan turned his attention from Lindy’s interview to Brodie. “Yeah, it seems like a great way for folks to spend time with the kids.” And Jerry was looking at the fishing gear with interest, which was better than the baseball glove fail.
Brodie examined the white price tag on a fishing rod. “Learning to fish and enjoying God’s creation—a terrific way to bond with the kids. It was Savvy’s idea, of course.” He picked up the rod, weighed it in his hand and grinned. “She’s always coming up with ways to involve the community in the kids’ lives.”
“Sounds like so much fun,” Candace said, tilting her head toward Jerry and pulling a red fishing rod from the yellow bucket.
Ethan didn’t know the first thing about fishing. Nothing. He’d never had anyone take him to a lake or teach him to put one of those reels on the rod or even show him how to bait a hook.
But Jerry, holding the red fishing rod, looked at him now as though waiting for someone to offer to do something with him...the same way Ethan had always prayed for someone to spend time with him.
Seriously, God? Peter, Andrew, James and John were fishermen. But me? I haven’t got a clue. You know that. Why not baseball?
Yet Ethan found himself asking, “You want to be my fishing buddy for the summer, Jerry?”
Jerry looked at the rod, and then at Ethan. “Yes, sir.”
No, it wasn’t his sport of choice, but Jerry actually wanted to fish...with Ethan. Ethan wanted to pick the kid up, swing him around and cheer, but they weren’t anywhere near that point. Yet. Instead, he took a deep breath and prayed that he wouldn’t stink too badly at fishing. Okay, Lord. Here we go. “Well, all right, then.”
Candace smiled. “A perfect opportunity to bond, don’t you think?”
“I do.” Ethan couldn’t disagree, even if he wondered how many other adults would be watching him. He’d have to pray no one caught the process on video. He could just imagine his students having a field day with Mr. Green’s botched fishing experience.
“Some of my best memories growing up are from fishing with my friends.” Brodie grinned. “I remember one time John Cutter hooked my ear on a cast that went wrong.” He touched his right ear. “Still got the scar from that one.”
Ethan winced and instinctively cupped a hand over one ear. “I hope we don’t make those kind of memories, Jerry, don’t you?”
Jerry squinted up at him, and gave him something that resembled a grin.
Ethan’s pulse tripped, and his heart soared. Fishing. If that was what it took to make Jerry happy and able to trust him, then that’s what Ethan would do. “So I guess I’ll need to start purchasing some of this fishing gear?”
“You can, or you can just rent the equipment for the summer, whatever works best. Savvy’s grandparents do provide a fifty percent discount to folks participating in the program, so if you think you may want to keep fishing after it’s done, that’d be a great deal.”
Ethan didn’t want Jerry seeing anything they did together as short-term, so he quickly answered, “That’s what we’ll want.”
“I thought you might.” Brodie leaned down to help Rose and Daisy, who’d managed to get two fishing rods locked together. “Savvy’s grandparents have a list of recommended supplies. Why don’t you go get a copy and find out when all of the gear we’ve requested for the program will be available in the store? They were supposed to hear from the supplier this morning.”
“Sounds good.” Ethan left the group and worked his way through circular racks of life jackets and hip waders to find Savvy and an older gentleman filling a square purple bin with small tackle boxes.
“These will be great for the kids,” she said, then noticed him approaching. “Hey, Ethan, this is my grandfather, James Bowers. Granddaddy, this is Ethan Green. He’s the man I told y’all about, the one who wants to adopt the little boy who came to Willow’s Haven a few days ago.”
“That’s wonderful, son.” Mr. Bowers extended a hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you.” Ethan could get used to the friendliness of this town. Birmingham was a friendly place, too, but with a population of 200,000 compared to Claremont’s roughly 4,500, it lacked the everyone-knows-everyone feeling of Claremont. And Ethan found that he liked it, a lot.
“Everything going okay up front with the kids?” Savvy asked.
“Yes, but I wanted to see about getting a list of supplies for the Fishers of Men program.” He spotted a small blue lifejacket and thought it’d probably be Jerry’s size. He’d need to add that to the list. They wouldn’t need it for fishing on the bank, but if they ventured out on a boat, he’d need one. He thought about the pedal boat and Jerry’s apparent fear. And the fact that Lindy had picked up on it, too.
Maybe she had that kind of intuition—a mother’s intuition.
But she didn’t have children. She’d said she had no family.
“Ah, right. The list for the Fishers of Men program,” Mr. Bowers said. “The printouts are in the office. Ask Jolaine to give you a copy. She’s in there talking to our newest employee.” He grinned, and Ethan did, too. Lindy had apparently gotten the job she needed.
“The office is back there, far right corner,” Savvy said, gesturing with her thumb over her shoulder.
“Thanks.” Ethan headed for the office, but slowed when he got close and heard Savvy’s grandmother and Lindy talking.
* * *
Lindy already adored the woman sitting across from her. Jolaine Bowers reminded her of her own grandmother, the one who’d raised Lindy and shown her the true meaning of unconditional love.
“So like I was saying, I had just said amen after asking God to get us some help for the summer, and then you came walking in,” Jolaine said.
The way she looked at Lindy now, her blue eyes radiating compassion, proved she wasn’t questioning whether Lindy would be a good employee or judging her or wondering about her background. “Isn’t that something, the way God works?”
Lindy wanted to simply agree and be done with it, take the job and spend her summer with Jerry until she got her son back for good, but that seemed way too easy. “Mrs. Bowers, I appreciate this opportunity. And I really need and want the job, but I have to be honest. You haven’t said anything about me filling out an application, and you should know that I don’t have any experience. In fact—” her voice hitched “—there are no real reasons you should hire me.”
Savvy’s grandmother leaned forward in her weathered brown desk chair, watching Lindy with undeniable kindness, as if she were sitting with her own granddaughter. “Honey, which part of me praying for you, and then you walking in didn’t you understand?” She placed her hand on top of Lindy’s as she spoke, and the warmth of it radiated up Lindy’s arm and straight to her heart.
“Mrs. Bowers, I can’t tell you how much your trust in me means, especially since you just met me.” Truthfully, Lindy couldn’t understand why the couple would have that kind of faith in a woman they didn’t know.
“Sweetie, my trust is in God, and He hasn’t steered me wrong. He sent you here today, I’m certain of it.” She gave Lindy an exaggerated wink.
In spite of what Lindy had learned about God from the prison ministry, she still wasn’t certain how much He could actually do. Or how He could keep her past from crippling her future. And her past would come out, along with the fact that, even though she was innocent of murder, she hadn’t protected her child. But regarding this position, she had no one to vouch that she’d be a good employee. Her grandmother had passed away six months after Lindy had been convicted. “I don’t have any references.”
“God sent you. That’s the only reference I need. And from what Savvy said, you don’t have a place to stay in Claremont yet. Is that right?”
Not only did she not have a place to stay, she didn’t have much of anything else either. She’d need more clothes for sure, but she’d seen a cute little consignment shop on the other side of the square that might have decent clothes at a price she could manage. “I don’t have a place to stay,” she admitted.
“Well, then, I meant to tell you that part of this job includes staying on-site, in case we have any after-hours deliveries and things like that. We have a little apartment upstairs where you can live, so that you’ll be here to help us out for those kinds of things.”
