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It was actually kind of exhausting, this level of awareness. The slow but inexorable build of tension tightening every muscle, sizzling along every nerve ending.
All he wanted was to fast-forward to the end and the kiss that he knew, deep in his bones, was the inevitable conclusion.
It couldn’t happen fast enough.
CHAPTER TWO
AS THE evening drew to a close, Callie was aware of Sebastian becoming quieter, his gaze more intent as a weird kind of charge grew and then arced steadily between them. Like an approaching storm.
Laden. Ominous.
It enthralled and frightened her all at once. She knew she should get up and leave while she could but she felt powerless.
Even when Gerri called for a doggie bag for the massive pizza she hadn’t been able to finish and the others took their leave en masse, she was helpless.
Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at them. ‘Coffee?’
‘Kill for one,’ Gerri agreed.
‘That would be lovely,’ Callie murmured.
She should have declined. She knew that. But her fingers itched to push back the unruly lock of hair flopping across his forehead and overrode all her common sense.
No seemed to have been stricken from her vocabulary.
Besides, Gerri was giving her a lift home so she had to stay. Right?
Sebastian beckoned a waitress over and they placed their orders. As she left, Callie became aware of a raised voice behind her and all three of them turned to look at what was happening.
They were sitting in the alfresco area of a restaurant in a trendy new footpath strip in Fortitude Valley. The suburb was up-and-coming, quite hip with the movers and shakers but by and large it was still less than salubrious in places with a lot of cheap boarding-house accommodation. With a large client base here and Jambalyn being located a stone’s throw from the restaurant, Callie knew the area well.
A dishevelled man, probably homeless, definitely down on his luck, was asking customers at the tables closest to the street for spare change for food. A young, preppy-looking man in an expensive suit at a table full of suits had taken it on himself to loudly lecture the unfortunate man, who was shuffling his feet, his head downcast, much to the delight of the other suits.
Callie turned away, unable to witness such callous inhumanity. She felt sick. How could he? What would a preppy inner-city suit know about the difficulties some people faced and how life could go down the drain so rapidly? How could he judge so cruelly someone he didn’t even know?
Her gaze fell to her lap where her hands shook, and she twisted them together to still the tremor. Her heart thumped like a gong in her chest and the meal she’d just eaten felt like a lump of lead in her belly.
Gerri placed a hand over hers. ‘Are you okay?’
Callie looked up into Gerri’s concerned eyes. She could see a frown knitting Sebastian’s brows in her peripheral vision. Callie’s gaze darted to Sebastian’s and back again. She nodded but the ugly scene had opened the floodgate on memories she’d been trying to keep at bay all day, from the bridge to Zack’s little-boy voice, and she felt like she was suffocating.
Sebastian was surprised by the sudden change in the previously animated Callie. She’d gone very pale and there was an unbearable sadness in her expressive amber eyes. The arrogant fool confronting the homeless man had obviously upset her. After her fearless performance on the bridge today he’d half expected her to march over and verbally eviscerate the conceited guy, but she looked like she was about to faint.
‘Excuse me,’ he murmured.
It was Callie’s turn to frown as she and Gerri watched Sebastian’s progress towards the altercation.
Sebastian drew level with the table and looked down at the offending man just as he finished suggesting that the obviously itinerant man get a job. ‘Have you quite finished?’
Sebastian didn’t usually court danger. In fact, he’d had enough of danger this last year. He was certainly no he-man. He didn’t pick fights or go around looking for trouble. But some things just couldn’t be ignored and this man’s attitude was abhorrent. Hopefully after tonight he’d think twice about using someone else’s misfortune to make himself look good.
‘I…I beg your pardon? ‘the younger man blustered. He looked around at his friends and the rest of the people in the half-full restaurant, obviously embarrassed to be called on his appalling behaviour.
Good!
‘Feel like a big man now in front of your friends, humiliating another human being who was just looking for a bit of decency and compassion?’
The man stood, the scrape of his chair loud in the suddenly charged atmosphere. ‘Who the hell are you?’ he demanded.
Sebastian noted the younger man pale when he realised that Sebastian had four inches and several muscles groups on him. He lowered his voice. ‘A concerned citizen.’
Callie shivered as the rumble of quiet menace in Sebastian’s voice was felt all the way around the restaurant. Her heart hammered and her palms felt sweaty where they gripped the table.
‘Look…I’m sorry, mate,’ the man said, holding his hands up. ‘I didn’t mean any harm.’
Sebastian jaw tightened. This guy was nothing but a bully. Picking on someone helpless but backing down at the first sign of superior strength. He needed to apologise. He looked over to the street but the homeless man had obviously seen his opportunity and fled the ugly scene. Sebastian could see him shuffling away, his shoulders slumped.
Callie looked back at her hands as Sebastian suggested the man bring his best manners next time he came out. He was being amazing—calm but firm—and she felt ridiculously like bursting into tears.
Pressure built in her chest and she suddenly felt as if she couldn’t breathe. She half stood. ‘I…I need some air.’
Gerri inspected her face closely and then gave a brisk nod, handing over the doggy bag. Callie took the offering and slipped out of the restaurant, sagging against its door briefly, grateful for the cool night air on her heated face.
She saw the hunched old man farther down the street and hurried after him, pressing the leftover pizza into his hands when she caught up. He avoided her gaze but Callie could see the tears shining in his eyes as he mumbled his thanks. She smiled at him and backed away, not wanting to humiliate the man any further by trite words or useless platitudes.
Sebastian, who had followed her out of the restaurant, walked towards her slowly as she retraced her steps. Where was his tall, proud Amazon from the bridge, eyes blazing? Was brave Callie the real deal or was the real Callie the woman walking towards him now? Softer, more vulnerable. He’d wanted to kiss the woman on the bridge senseless. This Callie he wanted to wrap up in his arms and shield from the big bad world.
Which one was she?
‘You okay?’ he asked as she approached.
Callie stopped in front of him, still too emotional to meet Sebastian’s eyes. She bit the inside of her cheek. She would not fall apart now. It didn’t matter that she seemed to be an unwilling rider on an emotional roller-coaster that was flinging her hither and thither; she would not crack.
The memories. Her brother—years of not knowing where he was or if he was alive or dead. The bridge. Zack.
They would not break her. Not right now.
She cleared her throat. ‘Fine.’
Sebastian stopped the snort that rose automatically. Callie was nowhere near fine. Still, he admired her stoicism. Did she spend all of her life putting on a brave face?
He regarded her for a few moments. ‘I think our coffees are getting cold,’ he murmured.
Callie heard the soft don’t-spook-the-horses note in his voice and braced her shoulders. She hated it that he’d seen her like this. She didn’t need his pity. ‘Can’t have that,’ she quipped, raising her chin and striding towards the restaurant.
Geraldine rose when they arrived back at the table. She looked from Callie to Sebastian and then back again. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Fine,’ Callie said, uncaring how overly bright it sounded as she sat. Still unable to look at Sebastian, she picked up her spoon and stirred the cappuccino that had arrived during the fracas.
The others followed suit and for a few moments no one said anything as they contemplated their lukewarm coffees. But Callie could feel Sebastian’s intense gaze on her and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself up in all that intenseness and forget every detail of this horrible day.
Geraldine pursed her lips, about to say something, but her mobile rang, interrupting her. She spoke briefly then ended the call. ‘Sorry,’ she said standing. ‘Tahlia thinks she’s in labour.’
Callie looked up from her coffee, her teaspoon clattering against the saucer, everything prior to the call disappearing in an instant. Tahlia was Gerri’s daughter and this was the first grandchild. ‘Oh, my God, Gerri!’
‘I have to go.’
‘Of course,’ Callie urged. ‘Go. Just go.’
Gerri looked at Sebastian. ‘Can you see she gets home? ‘
Sebastian looked at Callie and it was the first time their eyes had met since she’d walked out of the restaurant.
Inevitability smacked him in the face. There was no way she was going home alone tonight.
‘Of course.’
Gerri nodded. She looked at Callie as if weighing her up and then looked back at Sebastian. ‘Ask her about the bridge,’ she said, before hustling out of the restaurant.
Not that Callie noticed her friend’s departure, caught up as she was in his stare, her belly tightening, her breasts aching?knowing, now that her safety net had disappeared, there was only one way this night was going to end.
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Sebastian murmured.
Callie nodded. ‘I’m fine.’
Sebastian didn’t believe her for a second. ‘Do you need to talk about the bridge?’
Callie regarded him silently for a moment then said, ‘No.’
‘Really?’
Callie nodded, trying to temper the action and not betray how desperately she did not want to talk about the bloody bridge.
Damn Gerri!
He continued to hold her gaze, seeking answers, and she couldn’t bear it. She leaned forward, lifted her hand and gently pushed his floppy fringe back a little. His skin was warm to touch and she heard the quick intake of his breath.
She dropped her hand. ‘Sorry. Couldn’t resist it.’
Sebastian, his forehead tingling, held her gaze for a little longer then nodded. Whether she knew it or not, she did need to talk. ‘My place is ten minutes away. I have…’he looked down and grimaced at his cappuccino ‘…hot coffee.’
It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a command. It was just there, and the way she saw it she could go home by herself and try not to think about the very thing she’d been avoiding all day. That hammered at her skull even now, tearing at her shields. Or she could go home with him.
But she sure as hell didn’t want coffee and conversation.
Not tonight.
They didn’t speak as Sebastian drove the short distance to his apartment. They didn’t speak in the car park. Or the lift. Or as he opened his front door.
Neither did they touch.
He didn’t even switch on a light.
Instead, he watched as Callie strode across his lounge room, dodging boxes, towards the moonlight streaming in through his uncurtained French doors.
‘Sorry ‘bout the mess,’ he murmured as he drew level with her, his chest close to her back, his lips near her ear.
Callie frowned, dragging her gaze from the alabaster river below, and looked round, her shoulder brushing his chest. She hadn’t even noticed them. ‘I didn’t notice.’
Sebastian nodded slowly. ‘Callie. The bridge?’
She shook her head. ‘No.’
He regarded her quietly. ‘You know, maybe it’d help if you—’
Callie leaned forward and kissed him, cutting off the words she already knew back to front. It was a fierce kiss. Hard. She didn’t open her mouth, neither did he. But she felt it right down to her toes.
‘The only therapy I want tonight,’ she said, inching slightly back from his mouth, ‘involves us being horizontal.’ She snaked her arms around his neck and pressed her mouth to his again.
Sebastian felt her words all the way down to his groin. And when her tongue lapped against his lips, seeking entrance to his mouth, he granted it on a strangled groan, burying his fingers in her hair.
It felt good to be kissing a woman again. To get lost in one. To feel curves pressed against him and suck in all that sweet female aroma with each jerky breath. And not just any woman. A sassy but vulnerable one who had blown his mind on a bridge a mere twelve hours ago and was doing her damnedest to blow it again.
But as the kiss grew increasingly wild—desperate? his conscience pricked at him. Even though he couldn’t think of a time when he’d been this aroused, he knew this was about more than hot stranger sex for Callie.
The psychologist in him knew there were bigger things driving her.
Her fingers had worked three buttons undone by the time he managed to pull himself out of the sexual fire scorching his common sense. He covered her hands.
‘Stop,’ he whispered, kissing her eyelids, her cheeks. ‘Hold on for a moment.’
He ignored her mewed protest and the fascinating sight of her ravaged mouth. ‘Why don’t we get that coffee first?’
Callie, still dazed and weak-kneed, would have slumped to the floor had she not been leaning against him. She returned her ministrations to his neck, feeling the spike of bristles against her tongue. ‘I don’t want a coffee,’ she murmured.
Sebastian shut his eyes as her tongue stroked magic over his skin, whispering illicit promises into his pulse points. He resisted the urge to let his head fall back, give her unlimited access. Just.
‘Callie,’ he groaned, opening his eyes as her lips trekked towards his shoulder. ‘I don’t think this is a wise idea. There’s obviously something troubling you…and using sex to obliterate issues isn’t a very good way to handle things.’
Callie smiled against his collarbone. The poor man was really trying to do the right thing. But pressed into her pelvis she could feel how hard he was for her, and the convulsive clutch of his hands at her hips spoke volumes.
‘Relax,’ she murmured. ‘I promise it won’t hurt.’
Sebastian chuckled. ‘That’s not what I’m worried about.’
Callie smiled again, the rumble of his voice tickling her lips as she returned her mouth to the strong column of his throat.
He pulled back slightly and felt her lips leave his skin. ‘I’d hate you to regret this is the morning.’
