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‘Doesn’t seem too satisfying at the moment.’
‘Oh, Jack. Sure, we get crazy busy and we lose some. But you know what it’s like! Nothing gives me a bigger thrill than seeing a critically ill patient get better and go home. Knowing you’ve been part of that is the best feeling.’
‘You still need to look after yourself. It’s not uncommon for post-traumatic stress to set in years after the initial incident. Maybe a word to Marie—’
‘Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare interfere with my work.’ She glowered at him.
‘Steady, Laura. No need to get upset.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, Jack. You’re back in my life for two minutes and you’re interfering already. I think I’m allowed to be a little cross. I’m not a lost, scared twenty-year-old any more. Besides—no one at work knows. I’d like to keep it that way.’
‘It’s amazing you’ve been able to keep it quiet. No one ever recognised you?’
‘Well, I didn’t start here until a couple of years after Newvalley and the hype had died down by then. Plus, most people don’t know that my real name is Mary. I’ve been called by my middle name all my life, but thankfully backpacker hostels check you in as the name on your passport. As far as Australia’s concerned, the girl under the building was Mary Scott, not Laura.’
‘But…you’ve never confided in anyone?’
‘When you have photographers who’ll use every trick in the book to get a picture, it’s hard to know who to trust any more. I’ve had to become a very private person, Jack. When I started here I didn’t want any special treatment or be an item of curiosity. I’ve struggled to keep a low profile. If my past came out, it’d be all around the hospital…the press would find out…’
Jack’s face told her he thought she was exaggerating.
‘It’s true Jack. Every year, my lawyer is still inundated with offers from the media for an interview.’
‘You’re not serious?’
‘Unfortunately, yes. My lawyer thinks I should get an agent.’
‘You could be a rich woman, Laura.’
‘My memories are private and not for sale. Besides, I have to protect…’
‘Protect?’
‘Myself,’ she said rather lamely, thrown by how easily she had almost let the cat out of the bag. ‘And my family and the people I work with. The last thing anybody here needs is a three-ring circus following me around.’
‘Some people would kill for that kind of attention.’
‘Not me.’ She shuddered. ‘Those first few months after…the media camped out on my doorstep. That’s why I moved to Queensland.’
‘I had no idea you were on TV that much.’
‘I wasn’t. I declined all interviews and avoided the vultures like the plague. But it didn’t stop them from trying! Anyway, they finally grew tired of my constant refusals and decided to leave me alone.’
‘It must have been hard to get your life back together with that kind of scrutiny.’
‘You can say that again!’
So deeply engrossed in conversation were they that Laura and Jack had not noticed the arrival of other people. Splashing in the water alerted them. Laura checked her watch.
‘Please, think about coming to Newvalley with me.’
‘No, Jack,’ she said firmly.
‘Well, it’s not until next week.’ He smiled and stood beside her. ‘I’ll be seeing you around. You never know, maybe I’ll manage to convince you.’
‘Don’t hold your breath.’ She smiled back. Her lips slackened as she became caught up in his intense stare. ‘What?’
‘Why did you leave that morning, Laura?’
‘Oh, Jack, it was a long time ago. Let’s leave it in the past, where it belongs.’
‘I need to know.’
‘Impatient as always.’
‘What would you know?’ His voice had a hard edge to it now. ‘How do you know what I’m like? You walked out, remember. You never gave it a chance. Me a chance.’
All the old feelings returned in a rush. It was as if he had stepped back ten years into the morning after. The sadness and disappointment at finding her gone felt as real now as it had then.
‘Are you angry with me?’ His outburst had surprised her.
‘I thought we had something going and then you walk out in the middle of the night and I never hear from you ever again. Yes.’ The hard edge remained. ‘I was upset with you.’
‘Well, I didn’t notice you trying to contact me,’ she pointed out, peeved by his tone.
‘I tried. Quite a lot, actually. I rang and you never picked up. I called around and you never answered the door. Eventually I figured you just didn’t want to be found, so I gave up.’
Laura was shocked at his admission. Her phone had rung hot, night and day, from the media. She’d stopped answering it. She’d stopped spending time at her flat, too. She’d never known when a journalist was going to show up. She’d rarely been at home those first couple of months and then she’d moved to Queensland to be nearer her mum and dad.
‘Look, Jack, you picked a really bad day for this. I have a headache, and dredging up the past is only making it worse.’
‘I’m sorry.’ He sighed, taking her hand, instantly contrite. He took a deep breath, trying to rein in his chaotic feelings. That he still felt so strongly surprised him. But looking at her closed expression, he knew now wasn’t the time to push. He had to bide his time on this one. He didn’t want to blow it with her. She would tell him one day. He hoped. He pulled her to him and gently kissed her forehead.
Despite what had just happened, Laura felt a strange awareness creep into her bones. Every part of her body in contact with his became alive at a cellular level. It unsettled her. She stepped back.
‘No doubt I’ll see you about,’ she said as she started to walk away.
‘Count on it,’ he called after her.
‘I won’t change my mind,’ she threw over her shoulder as she let herself out the pool gate.
Jack watched her retreat until the wiggle of her cute behind was no longer visible. Her movements aroused him. It may have been ten years but his body was responding to her as if it had been yesterday. He ached for her physically but there was a deeper ache that had nothing to do with her body.
She’d certainly convinced herself that she’d dealt with the events of that day in Newvalley. But despite her claim that she was over it, he could sense an inner vulnerability. Maybe it took someone like him, who knew her intimately, to see what she couldn’t.
He had a feeling she was a time bomb ready to go off. It was better for her to do that in an appropriate situation, like the service, with him by her side, than have something else trigger it at work or at home. That could be catastrophic for her. Somehow he had to get her to that service.
CHAPTER TWO
WHAT a day! Laura drove to her outer suburban home, not really noticing the route. She went through the motions—stopped at the red lights, went on the green. But she was not concentrating on the mechanics of driving. She was preoccupied with him. Jack Riley. Back in her life again after all this time.
To say it was a shock was a gross understatement. In reality, Laura had known that one day they would meet again. It would be a necessity. There’d come a time when Isaac would want to know his father and she would not deny him that. She had been prepared for that eventuality. But not yet. She hadn’t been prepared for it today.
So, what now? she wondered as she turned the small hatchback into the leafy street that had been her home for the last nine years. Seeing him again had dredged up some intense feelings. Laura felt sure that avoiding him was probably the wisest move…for a while anyway. At least until she figured out whether to tell him about Isaac or not. And how to go about it and… Oh, it all seemed such an insurmountable problem. Too complicated.
It had been simple ten years ago when she had first learned she was pregnant. They’d seen each other only twice and one of those times a building had collapsed on her! They hardly had a relationship at all. Yes, they had a special bond. He had been her rescuer, saving her from certain death and risking his life in the process. They were connected, in a cosmic sort of way, but…a couple? With a future?
They had talked a lot during her rescue. From this she had learned that Jack’s career was his priority. A marvellous opportunity had come his way to study surgery in Adelaide. She remembered the note of barely suppressed excitement in his voice, which even several layers of concrete couldn’t muffle, as he’d confided his dreams to her. She wasn’t going to dash them because they had been irresponsible when making love. She wanted no further sacrifice from him.
Laura knew that it probably wouldn’t have been that difficult to track him down, had she been so inclined. But she had not. How could she have done it to him? She had refused to dump what she was certain would have been very unwelcome news in his lap. Heavens! She didn’t want him to think that the whole experience had unbalanced her, turning her into an obsessed lunatic, stalking him, professing to carry his love child.
No. She had wanted the best for him. She had wanted for him what he’d wanted for himself. She owed him her life. She hadn’t wanted to ask him to give up his. She’d been, in reality, just a one-night stand.
Even so, she’d agonised over her decision. Keeping a child from someone, even one who didn’t want kids, was a huge call. Truthfully, she’d hadn’t been in the best place emotionally at the time to make such a momentous decision. But she’d made it, truly convinced it was in Jack’s best interests.
Laura opened the door, disturbing the quiet within the house. Normally she would have swung by her mother’s and picked Isaac up after work, but he was holidaying with his grandparents. They took him away every year at this time.
Usually they took him for a week to their holiday home at Mooloolaba on the Sunshine Coast. But this year they had decided to splurge and take him to Disneyland. They had gone for two weeks. Two whole weeks!
Laura picked up a photo frame with Isaac’s cheeky, nine-year-old grin smiling back at her. He looked so like his father. Same big, gentle, brown eyes with long lashes. Tall and olive-skinned. His hair closely cropped, courtesy of a number-two blade. Jack would have to be blind not to see the resemblance.
Isaac. He had kept her sane through the rough times. A baby’s needs had to be met regardless of how the mother was feeling. He had been a good distraction. Someone to focus on when coping with the aftermath of Newvalley and the guilt of being the sole survivor seemed too much to bear.
She traced his face with her thumb.
‘Oh, Isaac. What should I do?’ She missed him. She was looking forward to hearing his voice on the phone tonight. But there was a lot of time to kill between now and then. Too much time to dwell on Jack. She had to stay busy, keep her mind off Isaac’s father.
Laura passed the time pulling out weeds while music blasted into her head via earpieces attached to Isaac’s Walkman. She sang along loudly, determined not to let her mind wander.
The job took a few hours to complete and it was nearly dark by the time Laura stepped into the shower. She wished she could wash her problems away as easily as the garden dirt being washed down the drain.
With a couple more hours up her sleeve, Laura headed out for a spot of late-night shopping. She walked back through her door with just enough time to unpack the groceries before ringing America.
Laura had prearranged dates and times to ring her parents and Isaac during their holiday. The price of phone calls from hotel rooms was notoriously expensive and international calls even more so. With her parents footing the bill for Isaac, she felt it was one small thing she could do to help with costs.
‘Hi, Isaac.’
‘Hi, Mum.’
‘How are you?’
‘Great, Mum. Wow! It’s really cool over here.’
‘How’s Disneyland?’
‘Excellent. It’s huge!’
‘Where are Gran and Pop?’
‘They’re in bed still. Something about jet-lag.’
Laura laughed, and it echoed around the empty house. Yep. That was Isaac. Always on the go. Jet-lag didn’t stand a chance with him. But her parents were in their sixties. She tended to forget that when they were both still so active.
He chatted on about their plans for the next few days. Laura soaked it up. He’d been gone for such a short time but she missed him fiercely already.
‘I wish you were here, Mum.’
‘So do I, Isaac. So do I.’
A tear squeezed out from under her closed lids as she swallowed a rising tide of emotion. If only he knew how much she wished she had gone with them. Then today’s unexpected meeting would never have happened. Eventually she and Jack would have run into each other but, with the hospital grapevine the way it was, she’d have known about his existence first and have been more prepared.
‘I’ll get Gran. Bye, Mum.’
‘Goodbye, Isaac,’ she said, amused by his typically abrupt farewell.
‘Hi, darling. How are you?’
Her mother’s soft voice put Laura on shaky ground. ‘Fine,’ said Laura. Why did mothers have the power to reduce you to a helpless dependent child all over again, no matter what your age?
‘What’s the matter?’ Her mother’s voice rose an octave.
She never could fool her mother. Suddenly Laura wished her mum was beside her. She desperately wanted to be hugged and soothed the way only mothers seem to know how.
‘I saw Jack today.’
Silence as wide as the Pacific greeted her statement.
‘Oh.’
‘Yes…oh.’
‘Well, how…? I mean, what did you…? Did you tell him…?’
‘Oh, Mum. It’s a long story but…no, I didn’t tell him about Isaac.’
‘What are you going to do, Laura?’
‘I don’t know, Mum. I don’t know.’
‘Darling, it’s difficult to talk now. Why don’t you wait until we get home next week before you decide anything? We can have a proper talk about it then.’
‘That sounds sensible to me.’
Laura was too tired and mentally exhausted to think about a solution. Her head started to throb again. What she needed was to sleep, but she was too afraid to succumb. She could control her waking thoughts but her sleeping?
She took some tablets for her headache and drank some warm milk in her silent house. Thankfully her exhaustion helped her to a dreamless sleep.
* * *
