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And it was true. Damn it. She would. Because nothing on earth had ever felt as good as having Luca in her bed, in her arms and in her body.
She waited in her room until she was sure Micaela and Marco would have left for the day. Then she walked—for hours along the river, trying to figure out how to fix the crack that was appearing in the holiday fling. She didn’t want it to end but she might have to reset the rules.
Luca got home as soon as he could without officially declaring it a holiday. Who was he kidding? His brain had gone AWOL days ago. And after leaving her earlier, he had taken a detour. Another whim, another moment of madness. He’d wanted to find something for her. In his mind’s eye he’d seen her playing the piano, in that old worn shirt and thin skirt, her bare arms and naked fingers making such music. He’d never felt jealous of a four-year-old boy before but he’d have given anything to sit where Marco had been sitting and be the beneficiary of that beautiful smile and all that attention.
He had the even stronger desire to take a few days off and take her on a jaunt—truly make it a holiday. But as that idea teased he clenched his teeth hard together; mentally he inked the line and underlined it again. Too damn dangerous. Already he was in a position he’d vowed never to let happen—he had a lover who’d lasted more than a few dates and, worse, she was staying in his own home. And while he was trying to maintain much of his usual distance, every day it was eroding and the desire to keep distant was eroding fast with it.
He had to fight harder. He had to finish this sooner rather than later because the one thing he refused to risk again was getting close to anyone. Because he always lost out, didn’t he? Those he loved never stuck around. Losing Nikki had been the worst thing that had ever happened to him. In no way was he up for anything like a repeat. He wanted some fun now, he’d earned it with all the years of nothing but work, but fun was all it could be.
But when he walked in and found Emily was out, disappointment hit him heavy in the chest. He sat at the kitchen counter and opened another box of the grissini he’d got Micaela to find especially for her. Gnawing on the breadstick, he appreciated it for the displacement activity it was.
He glanced at his watch and then out at the sky. Not long now and the darkness would fall completely. Maybe she’d gone to see Kate. Maybe she’d left him? At that thought he went to her room and felt relief gush as he saw her pack still there, small items still scattered on the table.
And then irritation mopped all the good feeling up. Well, where was she, then? And what was he doing even worrying about it? This was what he didn’t want. He didn’t want to be so concerned about someone else; he was comfort-eating breadsticks while he waited for her. He didn’t want to wait for anybody. He didn’t want to be sitting around letting someone else mess with his emotions.
He poured wine, drank it, decided to give her ’til nine and then he’d start walking the neighbourhood.
Ten minutes later the key scraped against the door and he raced to jerk it open.
‘Where have you been?’ he positively barked, and then had to take a breath and remind himself to chill out.
‘Walking.’ She looked surprised. ‘I didn’t think you’d be home this early.’
‘Oh.’ Ordinarily he wasn’t. But ordinarily his ultimate temptation wasn’t waiting for him on his sofa.
Except she hadn’t been. She’d been out somewhere and now she looked knackered. ‘Come and eat. You look done in.’
She sat at the counter and helped herself to the grissini as he poured a large glass of red. He let her sip and munch while he pulled a salad from the fridge, tossed some onto a plate for her, and broke some bread to put alongside it. ‘Where did you go?’
She shrugged. ‘For a walk down by the river.’ She crunched for another moment. ‘It’s a lovely night. Lots of people spilling out of pubs.’
‘You didn’t go in?’
‘Not on my own, no.’
He hadn’t been down that way in ages. She was right, he wasn’t usually home by now—still working, watching the US markets, and then when they closed those in Asia were almost due to open again… He glanced out of the window. It was a warm night—a drink by the river would be nice.
Then he remembered his mild panic when she hadn’t been home—not nice—and so he held back the whim. He’d succumbed to two of those already today. He set down a platter of cheese and meat for her to pick at as well as the salad.
‘Have you spoken to Kate at all?’ She should go out with her sister. Then he wouldn’t have either this niggle of guilt or this leap of temptation.
‘No.’ She kept her eyes on the plates. ‘She’s busy.’
Busy being self-absorbed.
But he didn’t go there, he let her eat, told her some lame scuba story. When she’d finished he whisked away her plate. ‘Come on, let’s go somewhere comfortable.’
She did look tired. He wanted to make her smile—he hoped he had just the thing. He led her to the lounge and nudged her onto the sofa and went to the stereo to choose some music.
Emily sighed as she found the page in her book and tried to concentrate, wondering whether she really did have the guts to mention the rules, let alone reset them. He sat beside her but had no book tonight, seemed content to lie down, using her thighs as his pillow. She stroked his hair with her fingers, unable to resist touching. He turned his face towards her. She felt his warmth through her shirt. Maybe he wasn’t so content because she could feel his fingers, feel his breath, feel his…lips.
He batted her book with his hand, knocking it to the floor.
She shifted back a fraction and looked down.
‘You weren’t reading it anyway,’ he defended, eyes dancing.
She leant forward this time, so her sensitive nipple brushed his mouth again. ‘You were making that impossible.’
He didn’t deny it, just made any kind of concentration impossible again with his teasing tongue. She sighed, eyes closing, giving in.
But he stopped, smiled once more when she looked at him. ‘I have something for you.’ He reached a hand under the sofa and pulled out a small rectangular box.
She looked at it and marvelled at how fast her heart could suddenly beat without warning. She knew that brand—the world-famous jewellery store. She told herself to calm down—it wasn’t the shape of a ring box—besides, she didn’t want any kind of box, she wanted… ‘Luca—’
‘Open it.’
It took a little more effort than she’d thought it would. When it finally clicked, she stared at the contents. Confusion blinded her. On the backdrop of velvet so navy it was almost black rested the most exquisite bracelet she’d ever seen. It was fine and, oh, how it sparkled, even like that, lying still in the box. Diamond after diamond after diamond, strung together by delicate platinum.
Her heart totally stopped then. What was he doing giving her something like this? She munched the inside of her cheek. What was this for? ‘Luca?’
Lying there, looking up into her face, he must have read her unease. ‘Don’t worry. It wasn’t expensive.’
Yeah, right. ‘Don’t lie to me, Luca.’ She shifted the box and met his eyes. ‘Not even to be nice.’
He met her gaze square on. ‘It wasn’t expensive for me. It’s just a trinket.’
It wasn’t just anything, not to Emily. Questions crowded her head once more. Increasingly nasty questions. Was this part of his usual game plan? Did he buy all his lovers a beautiful piece of jewellery? Was this a little nothing, a bonbon to sweeten the goodbye? Had he bought it himself or got his secretary to race out? Or did he have a stash of them even, in a drawer in his secret bedroom that was as out of bounds as Bluebeard’s dungeon? The evil thoughts kept coming, swirling before her and clouding her vision of what was a beautiful bracelet. So classical, elegant and stunning—nothing like her.
‘Why?’ It was the only word she could get out.
He sat up, leaving her lap cold. ‘Because I wanted to.’
That simple, huh? Because he wanted. That was the way Luca liked to operate—keeping things on a simple plane.
‘Why did you want to?’ She really, really wanted to understand.
‘I just did.’ He shrugged. ‘You deserve spoiling.’
‘What makes you think that?’
‘Oh, come on, Emily, it hasn’t been easy for you these last few years.’
Her blood chilled. ‘Is this about pity, Luca?’
‘No. You know it isn’t.’
‘So what is it, then?’
‘I don’t know.’ He frowned. ‘I feel like you’ve earned it.’
‘Earned it how exactly?’ As his lover? Her blood was ice now and any moment she’d snap.
Silence thickened as she stared at him. He was just as relentless about staring back and his jaw grew ever more square and hard.
Finally he shook his head slowly at her. ‘Why do we have to have this in-depth examination of “why”? I just wanted to give you something nice. Get you something nice. I thought it would look pretty. You have the most lovely long arms. Nice wrists.’
Now he was getting frustrated and, despite a film of reservation still keeping her cool, she couldn’t stop her small smile. ‘Nice wrists?’
‘Yes.’ His hand encircled one. ‘Very fine.’
She looked back at the box to hide her see-sawing emotions. ‘Thank you.’
Part of her was thrilled, flattered, flushed…but deeper inside she doubted. Despite its undeniably hefty price tag, it made her feel cheap. Baubles were not what she wanted from Luca. She’d rather have had nothing at all. One moment he was insisting on this being a stringless fling and then he was giving her this? She didn’t need mixed messages and he’d just ripped the scab off her vulnerability. Because there was a wound—underneath she’d begun to want more. Words, meaning…and emotion.
Trying to hide that fact, even from herself, she turned into him, breathed in his scent, nuzzled his warm neck, and sought the response that was always readily given. The box slipped to the floor as she moved to get closer to him. She silenced herself with the press of her lips to his skin.
Hours later she lay awake but pretended to be asleep. She could feel the restlessness that he was trying to contain. He moved slowly but she felt the bed lift as his weight was removed from it. Felt the brief blast of cooler air as he raised the covers to escape. Now he tucked them back around her. She kept her eyes closed, trying to keep her expression relaxed as if in deep repose, for she knew that the chink in the curtains let in light from the streetlamps and he’d be able to see enough of her features to know.
But she must have done OK because he said nothing, suspected nothing, ran a finger very lightly over her shoulder and then left the room.
The first night he’d said he had to go and do some work. The second night, he’d said he had to check his email. Now he offered no excuse.
At some point every night, he left. He didn’t want to wake next to her, to start the day with her at his side. It only underlined the level of their relationship—that there wasn’t one. And while that was what they’d agreed to, Emily knew it wasn’t what she wanted any more.
CHAPTER EIGHT (#ulink_442fbc51-c940-5f1c-9896-7419f6eafcd0)
LUCA appeared only a couple of hours after leaving for work again. Emily was alone at the piano.
‘Your friend Pascal phoned.’ She stopped playing as soon as she realised he was quietly coming over to her. ‘He said he was looking forward to catching up with you tonight at dinner and that he hoped Micaela wasn’t on maternity leave yet.’
He halted, halfway across the floor. ‘You answered the phone?’
‘Yes.’ Brows lifted, she matched his hard look.
‘Why didn’t you let Micaela answer it?’
‘Micaela wasn’t here,’ she replied with care. ‘It was just before she arrived.’
‘Why did you answer it? Why didn’t you just let it ring?’
‘Because when phones ring it’s normal to answer them. Because it might have been a temp agency. Do I even need a because?’ Her hackles snapped up. ‘So I answered the phone. I’m so sorry. Was that not on my list of allowable activities?’ She shut the lid of the piano. ‘Perhaps you’d better write down a list of “dos and don’ts” for me.’ She barely paused for breath, realising that her time to renegotiate the rules was right now. ‘What should I do if someone comes to the door—go hide in the wardrobe?’
He jerked a step away. ‘Emily, don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I’m not. I’m happy to be a holiday fling, but I’m not going to hide away like some sort of secret lover.’
‘I don’t—’
‘If you want a private plaything why not just get an inflatable doll?’
‘A doll wouldn’t do those sexy sighs the way you do.’ He turned his back, about to exit. ‘I’ll call Pascal and cancel.’
‘Why?’ Suspicious. There had been such personality in the brief exchange she’d had with the man and she had to admit she was half dying to meet someone Luca dealt with on a personal level rather than an employment one. Until this call she’d been beginning to wonder if there was anyone Luca dealt with on a personal level. ‘Because I’m here?’
He swung back, looked uncomfortable. ‘I have a reputation to maintain.’
What reputation? And how the hell was she going to damage it? ‘What’s wrong with having a girlfriend?’ She saw she’d picked the wrong word in the way he froze. ‘A lover,’ she immediately rephrased. ‘Why do I even have to be defined?’ She rapidly changed tack again. ‘Aren’t I just someone you’re helping out for a few days?’
‘Because the dinner is business. I keep business and personal separate.’
So he didn’t want to introduce her to anyone. ‘That’s rubbish. That’s just a pathetic excuse for not building any kind of a relationship with your current lover—other than in bed.’ And she didn’t believe this dinner was all business—why would Pascal phone so early at Luca’s house if it were? Why would he know about Micaela and her baby? Wouldn’t he just leave a message with Luca’s secretary at work? ‘Am I really not fit for display? Not good enough to mix with your friends and associates?’
Only good enough to sleep with? Did he think all he had to do was toss a few diamonds her way to keep her happy?
‘Of course you are.’ Luca’s face had flushed. ‘But I don’t usually have women staying here.’
‘Well, I can move out. Shall I go put up at the B & B down the road? I could earn my crust making beds there.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘Well, it’s either make theirs, or perform in yours.’
Now he looked really angry. ‘You are the one used to making money on the street.’
She nodded. ‘And you’re the one treating me like a whore.’
‘I am not and you know it.’
‘No, I don’t. Have your damn dinner party. I’m quite happy to go back to the hostel.’ She picked up her cardigan, intending a snappy exit. ‘Go screw yourself, Luca.’
He grabbed her arm, ripped the cardy from her fingers and flung it back across the room. ‘No! You don’t say something like that and think you can walk away from it,’ he yelled. ‘What the hell do you want from me?’
‘I don’t know!’ she yelled right back. ‘But I’ll tell you what I don’t want. I don’t want your money. I don’t want things from you.’
‘Is this about that bracelet? OK, fine. I’ll never buy you anything else because it was so damn awful of me. So what’s left, Emily?’
‘You tell me.’
‘I have nothing more to give. You know this. A good time. That’s all.’
‘A good time is more than just sex. You could give me some respect too. Some time.’
‘I do have to work, Emily.’
‘Twenty hours a day?’
‘Usually, yes. But not this week, in case you haven’t noticed. I’ve been home in the middle of the damn day.’
