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The boys had got home late. Oliver had staggered straight up the stairs to his bed, drunk. Liam hadn’t. He hadn’t been drunk. He hadn’t left.
Victoria had determinedly kept on going with the darn decorations, trying to pretend he wasn’t there. But Liam hadn’t let her. He’d chatted—easily maintaining a one-sided conversation for the first fifteen minutes, until she’d got over herself and actually giggled. Then it had been a fun tease.
Until she’d tried to move out of the chair. She’d not realised how stiff she’d got sitting still so long, folding ribbons of the thin paper over and over.
That was when Liam had come to help. That was when he’d rubbed her shoulders to ease the ache. That was when he’d stood too close and touched too much and that ache had become a burn.
That was when he’d turned her in his arms and looked at her—
Don’t.
Victoria closed her eyes and banished the memories. ‘I’ve learned to take care of myself better now,’ she said briskly. ‘I even use a timer.’
‘So efficient.’ The old amusement was audible.
She didn’t want to hear that tease. It had always melted her, always made her smile. She should hang up—but she couldn’t yet. ‘How is your holiday going?’
‘It’s pretty frustrating.’
‘Oh?’ Her heart slammed against her ribcage.
‘There’s no water.’
‘Are you drowning on dry land?’
‘Pretty much.’
She laughed. ‘You get itchy when you’re away from the water too long.’
‘Yep.’
‘Why is that?’
He was silent for a moment and she knew he was actually seriously considering the question. ‘It’s my home.’
‘You’re a merman? Mr Atlantis?’ she joked lamely.
‘It’s where I’m free. It’s where I can be in control of my own destiny.’
‘You can’t be in control of your destiny on land like normal people?’
‘On land there are other people. In my boat, I’m alone.’
Solo sailor. He’d gone for months at a time without seeing anyone as he’d circumnavigated the globe solo. In his team events, he was the captain. Reliant on his crew, yes, but ultimately the one in charge.
‘You don’t want to have to factor anyone else into your life?’
‘I am that selfish, Victoria.’ There was none of the tease now, none of the amusement. It was a warning—as loud and clear as a foghorn.
But she didn’t know whether to truly believe him. The Liam she’d met five years ago had been fiercely competitive, fiercely determined. But he’d also been helpful. Yes, he’d been on the fringes, watching how Oliver’s family— and her family—played out. But he’d helped, he’d wanted to be involved. Was it merely to have something to do?
‘Why don’t you ask Aurelie if there’s something you can do to help her get organised?’
‘Not necessary. There’s a wedding planner here. She’s scary.’
‘Scary?’ Victoria chuckled. As if Liam would ever be intimidated.
‘Seriously scary. Check this out.’
A second later her phone pinged. She swiped the screen and smiled. He’d sent her a picture of the chateau. Uniform-clad minions were busy constructing a big marquee. There were white chairs everywhere. There was one ultra-efficient-looking woman in the middle of it all with clipboard in hand, wireless phone piece in her ear and her hair ruthlessly scraped back. She was very attractive in a headmistress sort of way.
‘She’s not scary.’ Victoria cleared her throat. ‘She’s gorgeous. And she looks like she’s fabulous at her job.’
‘She’s a robot,’ Liam answered shortly. ‘And she has everything under control. There’s nothing that needs doing.’
‘It looks like it’s going to be amazing,’ Victoria said.
‘It will be.’ He suddenly sighed. ‘So you’d better get back to your writing.’
Victoria held onto the phone for a couple of minutes after he’d rung off. Was his abrupt switch from joke to sigh because of that in-his-face wedding scene? Because of Aurelie?
Her skipping heart ached.
* * *
A few hours later Liam couldn’t help placing another call just to hear her voice. Over the phone she sounded blood-pumpingly breathy yet brisk at the same time. Just hearing her got him hard and he couldn’t resist it any longer.
‘I think you should take twenty minutes and come and see me,’ he said the second she answered. And what he really wanted was to see her come.
He’d been deliberately bold the other day. He’d wanted to bait her. Get a reaction from the woman who provoked him to insanity with just a glance. Get her to admit the vibe between them for once.
But he’d done more than provoke. He’d unleashed them both. He’d had to stop when he’d realised she wasn’t going to say no. It had nearly killed him to pull back, but it hadn’t been the right time. He didn’t want either of them to have regrets. But the right time was going to have to be very soon.
‘Twenty minutes?’ Victoria answered in an unim-pressed tone. ‘That’s all you want?’
He grinned. It’d be more like two given the state he was in. And frankly? He’d settle for anything now.
‘For the first round,’ he amended for form’s sake. ‘Then we could settle in for the rest of the night.’
‘Have you been drinking?’
‘You know I don’t.’ The way his father had drunk? Obliterating reality from his mind? He hadn’t been an abusive father in a physical sense, he’d simply been negligent. Never there. Either at the wharf or at the pub, he couldn’t have been less interested in his only child. Liam shook off the memory and focused on his much more appealing immediate future. ‘Why try to ignore the fact that the genie is out of the bottle?’
She’d said yes the other night. Not in words, but in actions—she was all the way to yes.
‘Throw another cliché my way,’ she answered snappily. ‘That one doesn’t work for me.’
He laughed. ‘When did you get so tough?’
‘I told you, I finally grew up.’
Had she? She’d been so sweet back then, soft and pretty and pleasing. She’d been all things to all people. She’d had to be—her parents had demanded perfection. Liam looked out over the gardens, his eyes narrowing as he wondered about how that whole thing had played out for Victoria. ‘How are your parents? Do you see them?’
There was a moment before she answered. ‘I see them occasionally.’
Her answer was too diplomatic, too reserved. ‘Are they unhappy about you and Oliver?’ He pressed the phone closer to his ear, trying to catch the nuances.
‘Very.’
Did they blame her? He bet they did.
Oliver had told him that Victoria had a sister who’d left home as a teen. A total rebel who’d fallen in with the kind of people Victoria’s family would have nothing to do with. So they’d then had nothing to do with her. The sister had become persona non grata—her name never mentioned, memories of her life expunged from the family home. And then Liam had watched Victoria—seen the way she’d deferred and smiled and obeyed. Too afraid to ever rock the boat. But she’d spoken up with him that first night when she hadn’t known who he was. Without fear she’d been a spitfire. In company, she’d been meek. It still annoyed the hell out of him. His annoyance grew at the thought of her parents blaming her for her marriage break-up. But he couldn’t resist asking her one last question. ‘Do you ever see your sister? Did you ever track her down?’
She’d wanted to. Working late on the crêpe decorations that night, she’d mentioned the sister—and that desire— so briefly after she’d asked about his background. Then they’d both changed the subject.
Now there was silence.
‘Victoria?’ he prompted.
‘Yes, we met up a while ago.’
She spoke too cheerfully.
‘Was it okay?’
‘It was fine.’
‘Are you still in touch?’
‘We’re very different people. I send her a Christmas card.’ Her words came faster and lighter. ‘Look, I’d better go now, I’m still behind on where I need to be.’
Two seconds later Liam pocketed his phone and looked at the almost luminous green lawn. Knots turned in his stomach as if he were land-sick. He hurt for her—she was alone and she shouldn’t be. He wished it didn’t bother him. But it did.
* * *
Victoria’s phone rang the next morning at five-thirty. So he knew she’d be awake and working already? She answered on the first ring, an unstoppable smile leaping to her lips. ‘You must be really bored.’
‘I’ll come and pick you up. You have to stop for a food break some time.’
‘Food? You’re going to take me to lunch?’ ‘I was thinking sooner than that. Breakfast in bed, actually. Good idea, don’t you think?’
‘You just can’t help yourself, can you?’
‘No,’ he answered. ‘I think of you, sex comes too. It’s like peaches and cream, cheese and crackers. Victoria and sex—inextricably linked.’
She giggled but a weird disappointment pressed heavy into her chest at the same time. It would only be the once and then he’d disappear from her life again. ‘So this is the only reason you’re calling me three times a day?’
In the resulting silence her discomfort grew. Because she liked talking to him. She liked laughing with him. But was all this merely a means to an end for him? He was putting in the spade work to get what little he actually wanted?
But she didn’t want to sleep with him once and then lose him from her life for ever. She wanted more of this. It dawned on her that since the move to France, she’d been lonely. She wanted to laugh more—and she laughed when she talked with him.
‘I want you to get this work done,’ he finally answered, no smile in his voice this time.
Her work? That was what he cared about really? She stopped. Her work was for Aurelie. Victoria winced, so glad he couldn’t see the mortification staining every inch of her skin red. Of course, he wanted his ex-girlfriend, the woman he’d been with almost three years, to have the wedding of her dreams. He was just passing time flirting with Victoria while keeping an eye that things were on track. A bit of fun, that was all. He didn’t mean it— well, okay, he was sexually attracted. But that was all. He didn’t want anything more. And his primary concern was for his ex. The one he’d liked enough to spend years with, not just one night.
Fair enough.
‘Well,’ she said, smiling brightly at the telephone so he wouldn’t hear how hurt she was. ‘I’d better get off and get it finished, then.’
* * *
Liam frowned as he slid his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. There was a vibe hurtling along the ether that he couldn’t ignore. But she had to get her work done. He couldn’t go see her—much as he wanted that breakfast in bed. He wanted Aurelie to have her nice cards and more than that he wanted Victoria to be paid and have her work noticed. He wanted what was best for Victoria.
Truth? He wanted this weekend to be over so he could go to her and finish what they’d started the other night.
She was right; his timing was lousy.
He paced. He only had a few days before he was due back on the water but he didn’t want to leave until he’d had what he wanted.
He hated himself for that. She didn’t want what he wanted. She didn’t want him to cheapen whatever she thought this was. But lust was all this was, right? Nuclear-hot chemistry. The other night it had exploded. But he’d had to walk—to let her get her work done, to let her cool down from that kiss. Because he didn’t want the regrets that a spontaneous, quick tumble would have brought.
Truthfully that insane, insatiable need had taken him by surprise. The overwhelming compulsion to bury himself inside her and stay there had been so sharp he’d run from it. Because Liam never stayed anywhere for long. He couldn’t. Not for Victoria, not for anyone. She wanted and needed more than he had to offer. He ground his jaw, clenching his muscles—because that desire was still so incredibly strong.
And he’d seen her anxiety before he’d kissed her—the flash of self-consciousness, her admission that it wasn’t going to be that good. Oliver had done that to her. He’d betrayed her by going off with another woman. Liam wanted to punch him, as Oliver had once punched him.
Oliver had let her down. Liam wanted to fix it and in that one small way he could. He could give her that relief, restore that confidence in her sensuality.
Bitterly he mocked himself. What, he thought he’d be doing her a favour?
He’d told her the truth. He was selfish. All he really wanted was her. Wanted to have her so bad he was almost certifiable.
He changed and went for a run to burn off the energy accruing inside, but he couldn’t find his rhythm—couldn’t shut his thoughts down. She’d been hurt. Not just by Oliver, but by her parents, her sister. No doubt her friends too. She didn’t want to be hurt again.
He couldn’t blame her for that.
All he could offer was one night. Nothing more. Was that fair to her?
No.
Calling her so often this week had been a mistake. He’d drop contact completely—go back to the stalemate of the last five years. Some things just weren’t meant to be.
FIVE (#ulink_105d4ef5-514d-572c-b6d3-e6cf6c6426d7)
‘Good,’ the Rottweiler disguised as the wedding planner said to Victoria.
Coming from her, the one word was effusive praise. Thank heavens. It was all Victoria could do not to collapse into the nearest chair and cry in relief.
She’d done it. She’d worked all through the night because she couldn’t sleep for thinking about Liam anyway. Work had been a distraction. She’d focused on nothing but and she’d finished it.
