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Her gaze caught with his. “I’ve missed you, Nathan.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
And maybe, Amanda told herself, for tonight, that was enough.
“You had sex.”
“Piper!” Amanda jolted and looked around the diner guiltily, making sure no one was within earshot. Thankfully, most of the lunch crowd was long gone and she and her friend had the back of the diner practically to themselves. Amanda grabbed her cup of coffee for a sip, then asked, “Could you say that any louder?”
“Probably,” Piper said. “Want me to try?”
“No!” Amanda shook her head and tried for a little dignity. What? Was the truth stenciled on her forehead? I had sex with Nathan last night. Who else had noticed? Oh, God.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Amanda told her, deciding to plead ignorance and let it go at that.
“Sure,” her old friend said with a smirk. “I’ll buy that. And any bridges you might have lying around.”
Amanda frowned and leaned back into the rush of cool air pouring down on her from the overhead air-conditioning vent. Irritating to be read so easily—and by someone she hadn’t even seen in years. Well, clearly there was no point in pretending with Piper. “Fine. Yes. You’re right, Ms. Mind Reader.”
Piper laughed and took a bite of the lemon meringue pie Amanda had promised her the day before. “Honey, I don’t need to read your mind. It’s in your eyes—not to mention the whisker burn on your neck.”
She slapped one hand to the right side of her throat. A quick tingle whipped through her as she recalled how it had felt, having Nathan’s whiskery cheeks buried in the curve of her neck. Of course that didn’t mean she wanted the world noticing what she’d been up to. Amanda had been so sure she’d managed a makeup miracle. Now she didn’t know why she had bothered.
“Honestly, I don’t know how they can call that foundation ‘full coverage,’” she muttered. “I should send them an email, complaining.”
“You do that,” Piper said with a chuckle. “So, how is Nathan?”
“He’s…good.” Better than good. Fabulous, really. A smile curved her mouth as she remembered the night before.
By the time Amanda had gotten home, she was more tired and more energized than she’d been in years. Every cell in her body had felt as if it had just come to life after long years of sleep. She’d felt almost like Sleeping Beauty, except that Nathan wasn’t exactly Prince Charming and she was no damsel in distress waiting to be rescued.
No, last night hadn’t been the beginning of anything. She wouldn’t fool herself into hoping for more when she was pretty sure that Nathan was considering what had happened at the river to be just a good time.
But it had been more. For her, at least. Despite what she had said to Nathan, Amanda wasn’t a sex-is-just-sex kind of girl. If sex didn’t mean anything, what was the point to it all? No. The only reason she had slept with Nathan was because she still had feelings for him.
“And so,” Piper persisted, “this means you’re back together?”
“No,” Amanda said, shaking her head. “I’m not kidding myself about that. Last night was just…last night.” She wasn’t going to invent dreams and let them soar only to come crashing back to earth again. She’d already lived through that pain once and really had no desire to do it one more time. “Nathan and I didn’t work out before, remember?”
Piper winced. “I know, but you’re both different now.”
“Are we?” she wondered aloud. Amanda had been doing a lot of thinking about this since the night before. Sure, they were older, hopefully wiser, but was it enough to make a new relationship possible? Did Nathan even want a new relationship with her?
She was getting a headache.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “Nathan will always be important to me. But—”
“No buts,” Piper insisted. “There don’t have to be any buts.”
Amanda chuckled. “In a perfect world …”
A loud noise from across the room caught her attention and Amanda glanced at her sister, who was slamming the coffeepot back onto the warming burner. It was a wonder the pot hadn’t shattered. Amanda frowned when Pam turned her head long enough to fire a glare at her.
“Wow, Pam’s in a good mood today.”
“Yeah,” Amanda said. “She’s been like this all morning.”
“Not surprising,” Piper told her. “She’s been after Nathan for years and she’s probably guessed by now that she’s never going to get him.”
“What?”
“You probably know that she and Nathan went out a couple times while you were gone.” When Amanda nodded, Piper continued. “Well, it didn’t go anywhere. Nathan wasn’t interested. And let’s just say if I could notice the whisker burn on your neck, then Pam noticed, too.”
“Perfect.” So not only was her life in turmoil over Nathan, but she also had to worry about her sister’s anger, too.
Piper shot a quick glance at Pam over her shoulder before turning back to Amanda. She leaned in closer to say, “Everybody knows Pam’s been crazy about Nathan since school. Just like everyone knows that she’s jealous of you.”
“Everyone but me,” Amanda said and picked up her coffee for a sip. Yes, she knew Pam had had a crush on Nathan when they were in school. What girl hadn’t back then? But jealous? “Why should she be jealous of me?”
“Hmm …” Piper pretended to ponder the question. “Let’s see. You’re younger, prettier, you’ve got a college degree she never bothered to go after and most importantly—you have Nathan.”
“Had.”
Piper’s eyebrows lifted. “You sure about the past tense, there?”
The old-fashioned jukebox was playing in the corner, some classic rock and roll song streaming through the one large speaker. A couple of people sat at the counter having a late lunch and two elderly women occupied a booth and shared tea and cake. Most people around here stayed home on Sunday and had family meals together so it was a slow day for the diner, which was both a burden and a blessing.
Since Amanda hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, she was grateful to not be so busy. But not being busy meant that Pam had the time to make Amanda’s life miserable. Which, she had to say, her sister was getting really good at.
But the worst part about a slow day at the diner? It gave Amanda too much time to think. Too much time to wonder about what had happened the night before between her and Nathan. And no matter how much thought she put into the situation, she was no closer to understanding it.
She knew that the two of them together were magical. But she also knew that didn’t guarantee a happy ending.
“Whatever you’re thinking,” Piper said quietly, “you should stop it. Doesn’t look like it’s making you happy.”
“It’s not.” Amanda took a bite of her pie and let the dense lemon flavoring explode on her tongue. When she’d swallowed, she said, “I don’t know that last night meant a darn thing, Piper.”
“If you want it to mean something, it will.”
She laughed shortly. “Not that simple. What if I want it and Nathan doesn’t?”
“Make him want it,” Piper suggested with a shrug.
“Oh, well, that should be easy,” she mused.
“No, it won’t,” Piper told her. “Nothing worth having comes easy. The question is, do you want him?”
“Wish that was the only question,” she murmured and finished off her pie.
Eight (#u90ebe143-7c0c-5668-a5c5-53c8a3f7a6c5)
A few days later, Amanda realized she had forgotten just how much she enjoyed small-town Fourth of July celebrations.
All of Royal seemed to be gathered at the park. The sun glared down from a brassy sky and promised to get even hotter as the day wore on. Nobody seemed to mind much. Texans were a tough bunch and no matter how miserable the heat and humidity, they didn’t let it get in the way of a good time.
There was a community baseball game in full swing on the diamond. Picnic blankets dotted the grass and families settled in for a long day that wouldn’t end until after the big fireworks show. Kids raced through the park, laughing and shouting, oblivious to the heat that was already beginning to wilt their parents.
Dozens of game booths were scattered around the park, each of them offering chances to win everything from goldfish to teddy bears. And at the far end of the parking lot, a small carnival had set up shop and the taped calliope music was fiercely cheerful.
Amanda grinned at the little boy in front of the booth she was manning. He was about six, with a missing front tooth, hair that was too long and a T-shirt already stained with what looked like mustard. At the moment, he was biting his lip and considering the last softball he held. He had already gone through most of his pocket money, buying chances to knock over bowling pins with the softball to win a prize.
“It sure is harder than it looks, ma’am,” he said with a shake of his head.
“It is, isn’t it?” Amanda was trying to figure out a way she could “help” the boy win, when Nathan walked up.
A now familiar flash of excitement zipped through her at just the sight of him. He wore a beige uniform shirt, with the sheriff star on his chest glittering in the sunlight. His jeans were faded, his boots were scuffed and his hat was pulled low enough on his forehead to throw his eyes into shadow.
It had been a few days since their night by the river and since then, things had been…different between them. Well, of course—they’d had sex. Things would be different, not that they’d slept together since. But there was less tension between them. And, she thought wistfully, more confusion.
“Afternoon, Amanda,” he said, then shifted his gaze to the boy. “Carter, how you doing?”
“Not so good, Sheriff,” the boy answered and scowled at the one softball he had left to throw. “I figured I’d win one of those teddy bears for my baby sister.” He shrugged. “Girls like that sort of thing, but like I told Miss Amanda, it’s a lot harder than it looks.”
“What’re you doin’ running around on your own? Where’re your folks?”
Carter pointed over one shoulder at a young family sitting on a blanket under a tree. “They’re all right there.”
“That’s good.” Nathan dropped one hand on the boy’s narrow shoulder, then ruffled his hair. “Maybe we can try together, what do you think?”
The boy looked up at him as if Nathan were wearing a cape and had just swooped in to the rescue.
Amanda watched Nathan with the child and swallowed a sigh. If she hadn’t lost their baby, it would now be about this boy’s age. Boy? Or girl? It had been too early to know at the time, but that hadn’t stopped her from wondering. From picturing what her child with Nathan might have been like. And in this boy, with the light brown hair and brown eyes, she saw…what might have been. And the tiny ache that settled in the corner of her heart felt like an old friend.
“How about I give you a hand?” Nathan asked, then flashed a smile at Amanda. “That is, if Miss Amanda doesn’t mind.”
“That’d be great, Sheriff,” Carter answered, then turned to Amanda and asked, “Is it okay?”
“Well, you know, back when the sheriff was in high school, he was the star pitcher.”
Nathan smiled at her as if pleased she remembered. How could she forget? She’d spent hours in the bleachers at Royal high school, watching Nathan play ball. And every time he went up to bat, he’d look at her first, as if he were checking she was still there, still watching.
“Really?” Carter brightened up even further.
“No pressure,” Nathan muttered with a shake of his head.
“C’mon, Sheriff,” she said and stood back as Nathan took the ball from Carter and tossed it in the air a couple times to get its weight. “Show us what you’ve got.”
He nodded at the boy then winked at Amanda. “Well, now, let’s see what we can do.”
He wound up, threw the ball and sent three bowling pins clattering to the floor. Carter whooped with delight and even Amanda had to applaud.
“You won, Sheriff!” Carter clapped, too. “Nice throw!”
Amanda picked up one of the teddy bears lining the prize shelf and handed it to Nathan, who gave it to Carter.
“My baby sister’s gonna like this a lot. Thanks, Sheriff!” Clutching the bear, the boy took off and was swallowed by the crowd moments later.
Amanda looked up at Nathan and smiled in approval. “That was nice of you.”
“Carter’s a good kid.” Nathan shrugged and leaned one hip against the edge of the booth. His gaze swept up and down her body thoroughly until she felt a heat that had nothing to do with a hot Texas day.
“So,” he said, “how’d you come to be running the PTA booth?”
“Patti Delfino had to take care of the baby so I offered to help.”
“Falling right back into life in Royal, huh?”
“It wasn’t that hard,” she said. Although being around him was. She didn’t know where they stood. Didn’t know what was going to happen next. They’d had that one incredible night together and since then…nothing. Well, except for him stopping in at the diner a few times a day. But they hadn’t been alone again and she was hungering for him. Did he feel the same? Or had he considered that night a one-time thing? A sort of goodbye to the past?
The questions running through her mind were driving her crazy.
A little girl ran up and patted Nathan’s thigh to get his attention. When he looked down at her, the girl’s big blue eyes fixed on him. “I wanna teddy bear, too.”
“You do, huh?” He grinned and looked at Amanda. “Apparently Carter’s bragging how he got hold of his bear.”
“And what are you going to do about it, Sheriff?” Amanda teased.
He dug in his wallet and slapped down a twenty-dollar bill. “Guess I’ll be throwing softballs.”
The little girl clapped and bounced up and down in excitement. Amanda handed him three softballs to get him started and then stood back and watched as he mowed through the prize shelf. Over and over again, he threw the balls at the bowling pins and soon he had a crowd of kids surrounding him, each of them waiting to be handed one of the stuffed bears.
Amanda watched him, saw his eyes shining with pleasure, heard him laughing with the children and a part of her wept for what they might have had together. He was so good with kids. He would have been a wonderful father if only.
By the time it was over, the bears were all gone and the last of the children had wandered off, clutching their prizes. When it was just Nathan and Amanda again, he said, “Looks like you’re out of business. What do you say we find Patti and hand over the cash box, then you and I go join Jake and Terri for some lunch?”
“Aren’t you on duty?”
“I can keep an eye on things—and you—at the same time.”
Pleasure whipped through her as she grabbed up the metal cash box and swung her legs over the side of the booth. “I think I’ll let you.”
He took her hand in his and as they walked through the mob of people, Amanda felt that sense of rightness again. Did he feel it, too?
The rest of the day went by in a sort of blur. It had been so long since Amanda had really enjoyed a Fourth of July. When she was away, she would sit on the balcony of her apartment and watch distant fireworks alone. She could have gone out with friends, but her heart hadn’t been in it. Instead, she had wished to be back here. At home in Royal.
And the town wasn’t disappointing her.
After lunch with Jake and Terri and the kids, Nathan and Amanda spent the rest of the day with them. Nathan was called away a few times to settle disputes ranging from an argument over the umpire’s call on the baseball field to a broken windshield in the parking lot. He always came back, though, and Amanda saw that with his family, Nathan was more relaxed. More ready to enjoy himself than she remembered him ever being before.
