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‘I did—you left it switched off,’ Julie pointed out.
‘Now, now, children, don’t fight,’ Jo said. She sent Tim off to clear up the devastation in the kitchen and make everyone a cup of tea while she helped Julie out of her clothes and into a dressing-gown.
Once Julie was undressed she was able to feed the baby, and Jo felt the usual surge of satisfaction as she watched the little baby suckle from his mother. He was the third of their children that she’d delivered or monitored in pregnancy, and it was gratifying to have been involved in the arrival of the whole family.
She looked up at Ed, wondering what he was making of all of this, and surprised a look of sadness and longing on his face again. How strange. He was so good with children—had he lost one? Was that it?
He looked up and caught her eye. His expression became immediately neutral, as if he’d carefully schooled his face to remove the traces of emotion.
‘Teatime,’ Tim said cheerfully, pushing the door open with his foot and carrying in a tray.
Ed stood up. ‘Not for me, thanks. Things seem fine. I think I’ll go for a wander—have a look round outside. I’m still feeling a bit green after the white-knuckle ride—Jo doesn’t exactly hang about. I’ll be back in a while.’
His smile was a little strained. Jo sipped her tea and wondered what had put that look on his face and made him want to run away—because that was what he was doing, she was sure. She didn’t believe he was still feeling queasy for a moment.
The baby dozed off, and Julie put her cup down and smiled wearily at Jo. ‘I could murder that bath now.’
‘Good idea. I’ll run it, you stay there.’
It wasn’t too hot because of the baby, but she made it nice and deep because there was nothing like a good wallow after delivery. Then she helped Julie into the bath, before unwrapping the baby that Tim was holding and lowering him carefully into the water between Julie’s knees.
He woke up a little, blinking in the light and gazing up with those wonderful blue eyes of the newborn, and Julie helped her wash his soft, delicate skin with careful hands.
‘He seems so tiny—you forget,’ Julie said, her voice hushed and full of awe, and Jo looked at him and remembered Laura.
‘You’re right—you do forget. I can’t believe Laura was ever this small.’
‘No. She certainly doesn’t look it now. She’s so tall, isn’t she? How old is she?’
‘Twelve. She takes after me and my mother—we’re both quite tall.’
Jo scooped the baby out of the water and wrapped him in a towel off the radiator, then sprinkled a few drops of lavender and tea-tree oil into the bath and topped up the hot water. Julie sank down for a good wallow and sighed with ecstasy.
‘I can’t believe she’s twelve,’ she said after a moment, sounding stunned. ‘Almost a teenager. I can remember when she was born. I don’t know how you cope alone.’
‘I’ve got Mum. I couldn’t work and look after her without my mother’s help.’
Julie laughed. ‘No, mums are wonderful. I’d be lost without mine during lambing and harvesting.’
Jo took the baby across the landing to the bedroom, leaving the doors open, and took the little spring balance out of the box Tim had brought upstairs. She hooked the nylon sling underneath it, popped the baby naked into the sling and held up the balance.
‘Three point seven kilos—eight pounds three ounces,’ she told the mother. ‘How does that compare?’
‘Heavier than Lucy, about the same as Robert.’
‘What are you calling this one? Does he have a name?’
Tim came upstairs again and into the room. ‘Michael, we’d thought.’
‘Or Anna,’ Julie said from the depths of her bath. ‘I think Michael’s more appropriate. I could kill another cup of tea.’
Tim went through to the bathroom, mug in hand. ‘How did I guess?’ he said, a smile in his voice, and for the millionth time Jo wondered what it would have been like to have a father for her daughter, a man who loved and cherished her and was committed to her, instead of—
She cut off the train of thought and concentrated on the baby. He was gorgeous, a lovely sturdy little chap with everything going for him. She put a nappy on him before he could catch her out, popped him into a vest and sleepsuit and tucked him up in the crib that was standing ready in the corner.
Then she helped Julie out of the bath, and while Tim helped her into her nightclothes and down to the warm kitchen Jo went down ahead of them and tidied up her bag, settled herself at the cleaned-up table and wrote up her notes while they sat by the Aga and chatted about the delivery.
Jo lifted her head as Ed came back in, and Tim grinned at him.
‘You must have heard the kettle boil. Fancy a cuppa now?’
Ed smiled, and the strain seemed to have left his face. Thanks. Don’t mind if I do. Everything all right?’
‘Yup. No problems.’ Jo shut the notes, handed the file back to Julie and slipped her pen back into her pocket, before washing her hands again. ‘Baby’s upstairs in the bedroom if you want to check his heart now he’s quiet.’
‘Sure. Thanks.’
He came down a few minutes later, the baby in his arms, and handed him to Julie. ‘He was chewing his fists and grizzling—I reckon you’re going to have your work cut out feeding him. He’s going to be a real trencherman.’
‘Just like his father, then,’ Julie said affectionately.
The couple exchanged a loving glance, and Jo looked away, staring down into her mug and wondering if Ed was all right now. He seemed fine, though, bright and perky, laughing with the Browns and seeming to enjoy himself while the baby tucked into his first proper meal.
Perhaps he really had been feeling queasy? She had driven rather fast.
Jo checked her watch, surprised to find that it was two hours since baby Michael had been born, and packed up her things. ‘We’ll be on our way now. Don’t overdo it.’
‘Would I?’ Julie said with a smile.
Jo arched a brow, shrugged into her coat and loaded everything into the car with Ed’s help.
Take care, now, and ring me if you’re worried. I’ll check you again before ten, but call if you want anything.’
‘We will, and thanks,’ Tim said, and gave her a hug. He shook Ed’s hand, and then they were off, bumping down the track towards the road.
‘It’s got colder,’ she said, fiddling with the heater controls, and wished she’d got a pair of gloves. Laura had borrowed them, of course, like she borrowed everything these days. Goodness knows if she’d ever see them again.
They turned onto the main road and headed back towards the surgery. Out of deference to his nerves she drove much more slowly, and Ed commented on it.
‘In case you hadn’t noticed, we were none too early,’ she reminded him with a laugh.
‘Yes. I can see why you went fast—did you think she was that far on?’
Jo nodded. ‘There was something in her voice—after a while you get an instinct for the little nuances. She just sounded—well, close, I suppose is the best way to describe it.’
‘She was certainly that!’
He fell silent, and she drove back into Yoxburgh in the dark with her headlights gleaming on the frosty road. As she pulled up at the surgery she turned to him in the dark car.
‘Ed—are you OK?’
He paused, his hand on the doorhandle, and looked at her warily. ‘Fine. Why shouldn’t I be?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I just thought—what happened back there? My driving isn’t that bad, so what was it all about?’
He gave a wry smile. ‘You noticed. Sometimes…’ He sighed. ‘Sometimes I just get a bit choked. I wonder what it would be like—I expect you do the same.’
She relaxed, relieved that there was apparently no great tragedy hanging over him. ‘I’ve got a daughter,’ she told him. ‘I know all about it—the pluses and the minuses.’
He looked surprised. ‘I didn’t realise you were married.’
‘I’m not. I’m a single parent—always have been,’ she added, so he understood her situation.
‘Oh. I see. That can’t be easy.’
‘My mother helps. I couldn’t manage without her.’
Her mobile phone rang, and she answered it, then turned to him with a sigh.
‘Problems?’ he said.
‘I have to go out again—one of my mums might be in labour, and she wants to see me. I’ll sort the car out, reload my box and go over there. You coming?’
‘Do you need me?’
His voice was soft, and something funny happened in her chest—something she didn’t understand, something that came out of nowhere and left her feeling empty and confused and a little breathless.
‘No—no, I don’t need you,’ she told him hastily, and wondered if it was true…
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_a487c3c6-68de-536d-8870-4949ba773f76)
‘MUM?’
A door crashed in the distance, and Jo met her mother’s eyes with a rueful grin. ‘So much for our peaceful teabreak.’
‘Mum?’ Footsteps retreated, then returned, attached to a bright smile in a pretty heart-shaped face the image of Jo’s. Long dark hair, again like her mother’s, was scooped up into a band, and now at the end of the day strands escaped, drifting round her soft hazel eyes and giving her a dreamy look.
‘Here you are. Hi, Grannie. Wow, a cake! Yum—can I have a bit?’ She cut a chunk, hitched herself up onto a stool by the breakfast bar and sank her teeth into the cake, without waiting for a reply—or a plate.
Her grandmother slid a plate under the hovering hand and smiled. ‘Good day, darling?’
‘OK, I s’pose. Bit pointless at homework club because the staff hadn’t got round to giving us any homework yet, but that was cool. We talked about Cara’s new boyfriend.’ Her eyes swivelled to her mother. ‘Talking of which, I hear your new doctor’s rather gorgeous.’
Jo nearly choked on her tea. ‘I wouldn’t have gone that far. He’s all right, I suppose.’
‘Cara’s mum said he was really yummy. So’s this cake—can I have another bit?’
‘Will you eat your supper?’
Laura rolled her eyes. ‘Mother, when do I ever not?’
It was true. She ate like a horse, thank God, in these days of eating disorders and unhappy children with appalling self-images and huge expectations hanging over them. ‘OK,’ she agreed, and cut a rather more moderate slice. No point in going to the other extreme. ‘So, let’s hear about Love’s Young Dream, then.’
‘Cara’s boyfriend?’ Laura giggled. ‘Oh, he’s in year nine—the third-year seniors, a year above me, Grannie,’ she explained patiently to her far-from-senile grandmother, ‘and he’s tall and his hair’s streaked blond and he’s got an earring and a tattoo on his bum.’
‘Bottom,’ Jo corrected automatically. ‘And how does Cara know that?’ she added, dreading the answer.
Laura laughed. ‘He had to do a moonie for a forfeit at a party she went to—she says it’s a dragon and it’s really cute.’
‘Let’s hope no one gets the urge to stick a sword in it,’ Jo’s mother said pragmatically, and cleared the breakfast bar while Jo tried not to choke.
‘Can’t I have any more?’ Laura said in her best feel-sorry-for-me voice, watching the cake vanish into a tin, but her grandmother was unmoved.
‘You’ll just be sick. Go and wash your hands and come down for supper in half an hour.’
She disappeared, leaving her coat dropped over a chair and her shoes scattered on the kitchen floor where she’d kicked them off.
‘A tattoo, eh?’ Rebecca Halliday said with a murmur as the pounding footsteps faded up the stairs.
Jo rolled her eyes and picked up the shoes and the coat, tidying them away. ‘Whatever next. I wish I could influence her choice of friends a bit more—she worries me.’
‘She’s fine. She’s a sensible girl. She won’t get into trouble.’
‘You thought I was sensible,’ Jo reminded her pointedly. ‘So did I, come to that, and we were both wrong.’
‘You were sensible. You were lied to. We all were.’
‘You’re very loyal, Mum.’
Her mother hugged her briefly. ‘You’ve come through.’ She dropped her arms and moved away, not given to overt displays of affection, and started scrubbing carrots like a woman possessed.
Jo helped her, and after a moment her mother looked up and met her eyes. ‘So, tell me about this doctor, then. Gorgeous, eh?’
Jo could feel the tell-tale colour creeping up her neck, and busied herself with the casserole. ‘Oh, he’s just a man, Mum. Nothing special.’
‘Married?’
Funny how one word could carry so very many little nuances. ‘No, he’s not married,’ Jo said patiently. ‘He’s thirty-two, single, he started working in hospital obstetrics and decided he wanted to be a GP so he retrained. He’s been doing locum for six months while he looked for a job.’
‘And now he’s ready to settle down.’
Jo put the lid back on the casserole with a little bang. ‘How should I know? He’s only been working since the first of January, we’ve had a weekend when he’s been off and it’s only the fifth now!’
Her mother slid the carrot pan onto the hob and flicked the switch. ‘Don’t get crabby, I was only asking. Anyway, you usually have them down pat in the first ten minutes.’
‘No, that’s Sue. I usually take fifteen.’
Rebecca laughed. ‘Sorry. I stand corrected.’ She deftly changed the subject. ‘I gather Julie Brown had her baby yesterday.’
