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The rock in the pit of her stomach got heavier.
“Listen,” Holly said, “why don’t you two catch up? Dan, we’re having dinner in town tonight. I’m sure Pete’s given you the details.”
“Actually, he hasn’t, and I’d like to get settled and make a few phone calls before we go out. There are a few things I forgot to tell my assistant before I left.”
Assistant. She didn’t even know what he’d done after he’d finished his business degree.
Plus, he’d basically just said that he had no interest in talking to her at all. Not that she deserved any consideration. She’d never told him the real reason why she’d broken off their relationship, only that she didn’t feel the same anymore. It had been a lie, but at the time she felt it was the kindest thing to say.
As the trio walked away toward the elevators, Adele swallowed the lump in her throat. It hadn’t been a complete lie, after all. She hadn’t felt the same after she’d left her doctor’s office. Her feelings for Dan hadn’t changed, but her feelings about herself and her place in his life had.
The word cancer tended to do that. Especially paired with the word infertility. She’d known he’d be better off without her.
* * *
Dan had to stop gritting his teeth so tightly. If he didn’t, he was going to give himself a toothache, a headache or both.
But seeing Adele this afternoon had been so unexpected that he hadn’t had any time to think or prepare. It had just hit him—wham—right in the solar plexus.
“Another beer, Dan?” Pete nudged his arm.
He shrugged. “Why not?”
Pete ordered another round as the noise in the pub got louder. Was he getting old? At first Pete’s younger sister had suggested a nightclub, but the idea of a crowded place with too much bass and bodies grinding was unappealing. Dan had assumed tonight would be a little more upscale, but instead they’d hit one of the local pubs. He was glad of it, actually—it had been too long since he’d chilled out in such a relaxed atmosphere.
He looked over at Pete and gave a grin. “This reminds me of when we both started with the company. Paying off student loans and heading for wherever had cheap beer and a decent steak sandwich.”
Pete lifted his glass. “Those were the days, huh? Just like old times.”
Yeah, it was. Sometimes he missed it. Now he put in longer days and drinks and dinner were usually business events and not downtime.
He sat back in his chair and let out a sigh. He’d had a good steak and some cold beer and was looking forward to being back in his room and in a comfortable bed. It was past ten, which meant it was past midnight home in Toronto, and he wasn’t in a party mood. He was finally taking a whole week’s vacation and she had to be here. Seeing Adele had taken his celebratory mood and soured it, despite the old times feel to the evening.
The waitress came back with a tray of drinks and put one down in front of him, offering a bright smile. He smiled back, but only out of politeness. She was pretty enough, but once again Adele was in the front of his thoughts. He resented her being there. He’d moved on with his life. She hadn’t really given him a choice about that.
“Dude, are you all right? You look ready to kill someone.” Pete took a drink of his own beer and lifted an eyebrow.
“Didn’t Holly tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
He took a long drink of the brew and put the glass down on the table. “Your wedding planner is my ex.”
“Denise?”
Dan shook his head. “No, of course not. I was never serious about her. I mean the ex.”
The emphasis was all that was needed. “Oh. The one from university.”
“Yeah. And I had no idea. Just boom. There she was, standing in the lobby this afternoon.”
“How does she look?”
He picked up his beer again and angled an eyebrow. “You’ve met her.”
Pete laughed. “I mean, how does she look to you?”
His brain conjured up an image of her standing in the lobby, her warm coat bundled around her, her eyes wide and startled to see him, too. “Too good,” he admitted, and finished the glass. The drinks were going down a little too easily, but there was a limo waiting for all of them to take them back to the hotel. He only had to stagger from the car to his room. Then maybe he’d fall asleep and forget about her.
Pete nodded. “I’m sorry, man. We had no idea.”
“How could you? It’s halfway across the country.” He and Pete had been fresh out of university, and met working for the same eco-energy company in Toronto. Pete’s career had taken him to Alberta, the oil-and-gas capital of Canada, while Dan had stayed in Toronto, rising up through the ranks until he was chief financial officer of the company. It was a massive achievement to reach that level before he was thirty.
“What are you going to do about it?”
Dan looked up at Pete, realizing that despite the generous slab of beef and fries he’d eaten, his reflexes were slowing. No more beer for him. “Nothing. It’s your wedding, and she’s supposed to be making it amazing. I’ll just avoid her is all. Shouldn’t be too hard.” After all, he’d been avoiding thinking about her for at least the last eight years. It had taken nearly two of those years for him to even start dating again. Not that he’d admit that out loud.
Pete grinned. “Well, Lisa’s been looking at you all night. And I know she’s single. Might be a good distraction for you.”
Dan considered. The blonde was cute, for sure, with an easy smile and an attractive figure, particularly in the leggings and snug sweater she’d worn tonight. But he shook his head. “I don’t think so, pal. Wedding hookups can be messy, and I’m not in the mood to play games.”
Even if, by doing so, he could give Adele a glimpse of what she’d walked away from.
He didn’t want revenge. He just wanted to put her in his rearview mirror for good.
The subject was dropped for a while, and after one more round of drinks the group departed for the limo and the hotel. Tomorrow they had free time until the rehearsal at six, with the exception of the last-minute fittings.
As he opened the door to his room, he realized he was looking forward to a morning of actually sleeping in and maybe going for a hike or something. He hadn’t been to Banff since he was in high school on a class trip to Calgary. The only thing that would make it better was if his brother, Drew, was here. His younger brother lived for the outdoors, and the wilder, the better. The opulence of the hotel was great, but right now Dan missed his family. They were all grown and spread out all over the country. Drew wasn’t even in Canada all that often anymore. When had they become so divided?
The bed was turned down and he crawled inside, the ache in his gut growing hollower by the minute. Family...love...it seemed both had taken a back seat to success. Or maybe it was that he’d tried to use success to fill the absence of close relationships in his life. Even the women he’d dated...he didn’t ever get too close to them. Why?
He flopped to his side and sighed. And maybe he should stop thinking so much. Damn Adele for being here, and for dredging up all these feelings, anyway.
The wedding was the day after tomorrow. She was the planner. After that, he wouldn’t need to see her at all, would he?
And he could enjoy what remained of his vacation and go back to his regularly scheduled life.
Without her.
CHAPTER TWO (#u6bd7fe6d-2c8a-5a46-b2a5-f21ea4beb599)
A WAITRESS REFILLED Adele’s coffee without asking as Adele opened her spreadsheet with today’s itemized list. The hotel coffee shop had become her temporary office, as it allowed her to be closer to everyone involved than her home office did.
Still, her stomach was in knots, and it was more to do with seeing Dan than the wedding. The distraction was stealing her focus. By tomorrow, changes couldn’t be made. Everything had to be in place by tonight.
Her email notification dinged quietly and she let out a frustrated sigh. Holly and Pete had been talking about the cocktail hour and wanted a change made to the signature drink and an addition to the hors d’oeuvre menu. Two extra people were now attending who had declined before, so final plate numbers also needed to be adjusted. And they were family, so the seating arrangements would have to be tweaked, too.
Nothing was earth-shattering, but Adele seriously appreciated those brides who knew what they wanted, set it up and stayed the course. Still, the fee from this event was significant, and as long as everything went off without a hitch, it was a great addition to her portfolio. She was smart enough to know a lot of her grumpiness was brought on from the arrival of Dan. Particularly since he’d plainly shunned her yesterday.
She took a sip of coffee, her stomach rumbled, and she knew she had to eat some breakfast before tackling anything. Within moments, she’d ordered an apple Danish and yogurt—something healthy to balance out the sweet pastry. Dutifully, she ate the yogurt first, and had just taken a first sticky bite of Danish when Dan walked in, dressed in jeans and a sweater so cozy and soft that he looked incredibly huggable. Add to that his thick, dark hair and the shadow of stubble on his jaw and hers wasn’t the only head that turned.
He saw her sitting there and his jaw tightened, his initial relaxed expression evaporating. The nerves that had already been dancing in her stomach started a jig and she put the pastry back on the plate. The fact that he still seemed to despise her put her on edge, but not as much as her own reaction. Today, like yesterday, there’d been a split second of happiness and warmth when she’d looked up and seen him there. As if her heart reacted before her brain could kick in and say, “No, Delly. He’s not for you anymore.” The truth was, it still hurt.
He hesitated, but then came over. “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said quietly, standing beside her table.
“It’s the easiest place to have a base of operations the day before the wedding,” she replied, trying a smile. “Do you want to join me? You look like you could use your first morning coffee.”
There was a slight pause, and then he said, “Why not?” and pulled out the chair opposite her.
Adele wiped her sticky fingers on her napkin. “The baked goods here are to die for. Though they do have some breakfast sandwich options, so you can have your eggs.”
The look on his face was so startled that she blushed. “I mean, if you still like eggs for breakfast. Not that I’d know. Just that you used to...” The heat in her cheeks deepened. “I’m sorry. This is awkward.”
“You think?” he said, but then smiled a little, dispelling a tiny bit of the tension. “Actually, it makes me feel better knowing you feel awkward. Yesterday you were so...together.”
“I wasn’t, really,” she admitted. She met his gaze. “To be honest, seeing you was a huge shock. I honestly didn’t know you were in the wedding.”
“How could you?” He shrugged, and then ordered coffee and “anything with bacon in it” to eat. When the waitress left again, he rested his elbows on the table. “I suppose talking this morning should help clear the air. Then we can go through the wedding without any weird vibes.”
It sounded very logical and smart, except there were already vibes. Adele had walked away eight years ago, but not because she had stopped loving him. In a way, it was because she’d cared about him so much. As her Aunt Sally would say, sometimes you had to let a bird go. And if it came back to you, it was meant to be. Dan hadn’t come back. And she’d built herself a good life in the intervening years.
Still, seeing him brought back way too many memories and feelings.
His breakfast arrived and Adele made a point of taking another big drink of coffee as he added milk to his cup. The shop was quiet; this was not the hotel’s busiest season, though there were always groups of skiers who, at this hour, were probably already on the slopes.
He put down his spoon and met her gaze again. “So, a wedding planner. How long have you been doing this?”
She cupped her hands around her mug. “Oh, five years now? On my own, at least. I started working for a company in Vancouver, and then I came to Banff with a coworker one summer to help with an event. I fell in love with the area, relocated and started my own business.”
“Risky.”
She nodded. “It was. But I started small, and now I run it from my home. The office space is downstairs, on the main floor, and the upstairs is my living area.” She relaxed a little, pleased that they could manage small talk. “How about you? You’re still in Toronto?”
He nodded. “I’m CFO of a clean energy company now. I actually took next week off so I could enjoy a bit of a vacation here. Then I’ll stop in at the new Calgary office for a day or so before I head back. It’s been a small operation for the last two years, but we’re putting things in motion to make it our western hub.”
“Wow. That’s...great. And you sound as if you love it.”
“Yep.”
She tried a small smile. “I guess we turned out okay then, haven’t we?”
He didn’t answer, just reached for his sandwich. As he lifted it, she noticed there was no ring on his left hand. “Not married, then,” she said quietly.
“Nope. No girlfriend, either. Though that’s a new development.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Don’t be. It had run its course.”
He sounded so casual, so blasé about it. Adele sat back in her chair and frowned a little. Small talk was well and good, but there was still a wall between them. Perhaps there always would be. It was a wall she’d built, so she could hardly complain about it, could she?
“And your family? They’re well?”
That, at least, prompted a genuine smile. “They are. Mom and Dad still live in Barrie and we kids are spread all over, but we get together a few times a year and video chat. Morgan has twin babies now. Girls.”
“You’re an uncle.”
He grinned and nodded. “They’re three months old. And Tamara is expecting another boy. She and Chris already have two.”
“Two! Your parents must be thrilled. I know how much they love having a big family.”
She really did know. The “big family” had been a big reason why she’d walked away from Dan and the whole Brimicombe clan. Each time they’d visited, his parents had gone on and on about big families and grandkids and having a house full of babies. Dan had said on more than one occasion that being a Brimicombe meant being a part of a big, happy family. That he wanted at least three or four kids of his own, so that all the cousins and siblings could grow up together, as they had.
Finding out she could never give him the children he wanted had nearly destroyed her. She hadn’t wanted him to be destroyed, too. Or for his family to pretend it didn’t matter when it was so obvious it would.
“They’re over the moon,” he replied softly. “Four grandkids, another on the way and apparently we’re just getting started. Dad wants enough to field his own softball team.”
There was a tone in his voice she couldn’t ignore. Was it that he wasn’t contributing to the grandkid count? Or was it deeper than that? He’d wanted children and still didn’t have any. Even though there was lots of time—he wouldn’t be thirty for another four months—she wondered if seeing his sisters with babies was highlighting something he was missing.
“What about Drew?” she asked, changing the subject to the baby of the family. “What’s he up to these days?”
Dan laughed. “Drew never stays in one place for long. He’s busy setting up Aspen Outfitters locations all around North America. But he gets home a lot to visit. Dad’s sixtieth is coming up in a few months. I know he’s planning to be home for that.” Dan laughed. “Somehow he always manages to drag me out in the wilderness with him for a few days. He tells me if I don’t do that more often, I’ll have to have my phone surgically removed.”
“Sounds about right.” She took another bite of Danish, chewed, swallowed and tried not to feel self-conscious. “I will say, despite it being very touristy around here, unplugging and going for a walk in the mountains does a lot for stress levels.”
“I can see that. I’d forgotten how stunning it is. I’m hoping to do some skiing while I’m here. Get out and breathe the mountain air.”
Quiet settled around them. Did they have nothing more to say to each other? She self-consciously ran a hand over her hair, which was still precisely anchored in her topknot. Adele thought about filling the quiet with the action of finishing her breakfast, but she wasn’t hungry anymore. Her laptop screen had gone dark several minutes ago, so she tapped a key to bring it to life again.
“I’m holding you up from your work,” Dan said, pushing back his chair.
“No, not really.” She bit down on her lip. Hadn’t she just touched the keys to fill the awkward gap? Now, at the first moment he moved to leave, she didn’t want him to go. She was an idiot, plain and simple.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to be polite. I have a fitting in an hour, anyway.” He patted his flat belly. “Gotta make sure the tuxedo fits.”
He was going to be so dashing. She swallowed tightly, thinking about it. Seeing Dan wasn’t just seeing an ex; it was coming face-to-face with the life she might have had if her illness hadn’t stolen it all away. And yet seeing Dan’s face as he talked about having nieces and nephews reassured her it had been the right thing. Dan deserved babies, and lots of them. He would have been supportive and said it didn’t matter, but she knew it did. That it would eat away at him until their relationship paid the price.
And she hadn’t been honest about why she was leaving because she’d been too afraid he’d be able to convince her to stay.
“If you have any questions, I’ll be around the hotel all day.” Adele smiled, though her heart wasn’t quite in it. “Holly and Pete have some last-minute changes, and we’re setting up for the rehearsal in the hall this afternoon.”
He got up, took his wallet out of his back pocket and put a twenty down on the table. “I’m glad we talked, Delly,” he said quietly. “This doesn’t have to be weird. And after tomorrow, we won’t see each other, anyway.”
“Sure,” she agreed, but a weight settled around her heart. It might not be weird for him, but it certainly was for her. She’d spent eight years convincing herself she’d done the right thing. Sometimes she questioned whether she should have kept the truth from him. But then she reminded herself that she’d set him free to be happy. She’d wanted that for Dan. Wanted him to have the family he’d always talked about.
But she had forgotten to take into account how much she’d loved him. And how hard it would be to ignore those old feelings if they came face-to-face again.
* * *
