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Which was also why he wasn’t buying her claim that she couldn’t remember any of this.
Was it all an act? He couldn’t know, not yet. Not until he’d had a chance to check her out. But she knew Trudy Levin and that was a plus in her favor. Trudy had been with him a long time, and he trusted her completely.
But he’d been this “baby” route before. He’d reached a plateau in life where he was fair game to all around him. When he was in his twenties, he’d been wrongfully slapped with a paternity suit, and while he was able to medically prove the woman wrong and win the case, it had been an expensive and embarrassing undertaking.
Since then he’d become twice shy when it came to relationships. In the last several years, despite newspaper items to the contrary, there had been fewer and fewer women in his life, to the point where he spent a good part of the year alone. And when he chose otherwise, he was particularly cautious, almost to the point of paranoia when it came to using protection. And such had been the case with Rachel.
But condoms didn’t always work—his parents could attest to that—and for that he owed her the benefit of the doubt.
“Better?” he asked as she placed the teacup on the tray.
“Yes. Much.” She looked up at him. “What did you want to ask me?”
“If what you say is true—”
“It is.”
“Then, I suppose I’m asking what you intend to do.”
Rachel toyed with the delicate handle of the teacup. “There are options...choices,” she said softly.
“Yes. Have you made any decision yet?”
She shook her head slowly. “No.” She looked up at him. “I haven’t.”
They stared at each other for the longest time, all those troubling questions with no satisfactory answers hanging in the air between them.
Reid squashed the cigarette in an ashtray. “I’d like to be included in that decision-making process, if I may?”
“Then you believe me?”
He sat back in his chair. “Not necessarily.”
“Then why bother? When I walk out of here today, you don’t ever have to see me again. I promise not to involve you in any way.”
“There is always the possibility that you are telling the truth,” he said. “If that’s the case, Rachel, have no doubts, I will be involved. I take my responsibilities seriously.”
“I’m not your responsibility. I can take care of myself.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said.
“Are you going to investigate my background, Mr. James?” she asked sarcastically.
He stood. “As a matter of fact, I am, Rachel. And, oh, let’s dispense with the formalities. A little late for that, don’t you think? Call me Reid.” He paused and pinned her with his eyes. “You did that night...over and over again.”
Rachel’s throat went dry. She swallowed. “I don’t remember.”
Reid came to her, and she looked up at him. His face was intense, his eyes as green as a meadow in spring. Placing one hand on each armrest, he effectively trapped her in the chair.
“Then let me refresh your memory.”
His mouth came down on hers. Rachel remained absolutely still with no thought of resistance. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips touched hers. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, she parted her lips for him. And as night follows day, his tongue swept into her mouth, met hers, mated, and danced a lovers’ dance.
The first thing that registered in Rachel’s mind was the heat. She remembered that with crystal clarity. Then his scent washed over her, his taste, and a flash flood of memories engulfed her. A powerful twinge of desire unfurled in her belly as his heat drifted down through her mouth into all the vital parts of her body.
Her pulse accelerated to an alarming rate. Her head lolled back against the chair and he followed, opening his mouth wider, deepening the kiss, taking as much as she was willing to give. More.
Reid felt like an alcoholic denied drink for too long, freed at last to have a taste, just this one and no more. His heart and head pounded in tandem as he drank his fill. She whimpered, and the sound vibrated into him, his mouth, his heart, his soul.
His arms began to tremble from exertion and something else he didn’t dare name, and the fear returned.
He released her.
They stared at each other, their faces only inches apart, their breathing labored as if they’d been running.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, uncharacteristically apologizing, not knowing why, only feeling the need to do so.
Rachel touched her swollen lips with her fingertips. “Why did you do that?” she asked.
His hands in fists, Reid took a step back from her and shook his head as if to clear it, more for himself than to answer her question.
He half turned and looked at her. “I had to see if your dream had just been my imagination.”
Rachel nodded, knowing what he meant, understanding that he needed verification that they had, indeed, been together, been more to each other than casual acquaintances at a party. The baby notwithtanding—it still didn’t seem quite real enough to her yet—like he, she’d needed some proof now, some tangible evidence that the dream had, indeed, been real.
And if nothing else, the kiss had proved that.
To both of them.
He’d kissed her, but she’d known how to kiss him back. She’d known exactly how to respond to him. It wasn’t something that happened instinctively with a first kiss. That knowledge only came with practice, and consciously, or unconsciously, Rachel had known what he’d wanted from her and how to give it to him.
A knock sounded and Trudy stuck her head in the door. “Are you two all right?” she asked.
“Yes,” Reid said, walking back around his desk. “We’re fine.”
“May I come in?”
“Please,” Rachel answered.
Her gaze locked with Reid’s. Her eyes told him their talk had ended. His said yes...for now.
“If that’s all...” Rachel said to him as she stood.
“May I call you?” he asked.
“I...” Rachel looked to Trudy, then back to Reid. “Yes, if you wish.”
“I do.”
“Fine.”
“I’ll go home with you,” Trudy said, then turned to Reid. “Unless you need me for something?”
Reid shook his head. “No,” he said as he walked the two women to the door, opened and held it for them.
Rachel turned to him, feeling ridiculously awkward. She held out her hand. “Goodbye...Reid.”
“Thank you for coming,” he said politely, and shook her hand.
His hand said one thing, his eyes another. Rachel wondered which message was for her. Perhaps both, she mused, and gave him a tentative smile as she left.
Reid stood in his doorway staring into space long after Rachel and Trudy departed. Charlotte studied him, waiting for him to say something. When he didn’t, she resumed typing. The sound galvanized him and he pushed himself to move.
“Charlotte,” he said as he turned to reenter his office. “Get Mazelli back on the phone.”
* * *
Rachel’s visit to the doctor confirmed what she already knew to be true. She spent the first week of August thinking. Options, she’d told Reid. Choices. There were many in this day and age, but for some reason, she felt hers were limited.
She was thirty years old. Not old, but not young, either. A perfect age, really, to take on the responsibilities of motherhood. If she had married Tom, this would have been just about the time they would be starting their family. But she hadn’t married Tom. She hadn’t married anyone. And there was no one on the romantic horizon.
A fleeting image of Reid James skipped through her mind and she quickly dismissed it. He didn’t believe her, and she hadn’t the will or the energy to convince him. Besides, she was fed up with having to work at making people want her...love her. And even if she had, Reid James would be the least likely candidate.
In her mind’s eye she could still see the headline of the magazine article about him that Trudy had given her: New York’s Most Eligible Bachelor. She winced. And he thought she wanted money from him. Ha! If she’d been that type of person, a quick call to the tabloids would bring her thousands. But that kind of notoriety was the last thing she wanted or needed.
No, there was no one but her in this picture, and whether or not Reid James wanted to be part of the decision-making process, first and last, the choice was hers.
She wanted the baby. It was really as plain and simple as that.
The other choices were not so simple. She still had most of the money her mother had left her, but it wouldn’t last long without a job. As much as she loved New York, it was an expensive place to live, even if she did approach Reid for help.
And that she wouldn’t do. Something deep inside warned her that if she allowed him in, he could, quite possibly, take over not only her life but the baby’s, as well. Living in the afterglow of Reid James’s spotlight didn’t appeal to her, and it wasn’t at all what she wanted for her child. She cherished her independence too much for that, and to keep it, her best choice would be to return to Ohio to live with her father.
Her stomach tightened with the thought. His remarriage only two months after her mother’s death had driven a wedge between them. Though they’d reconciled and had come to terms with each other, there was still a certain amount of tension between them that would make it difficult for her to go back home.
Rachel sat on the edge of her bed and cradled her head in her hands, trying not to remember the harsh words she and her father had exchanged the day of his remarriage. She’d harbored so much resentment of his callous behavior, it had all burst forth that day, ruining everything, or so he’d said.
But she hadn’t been able to stop herself. Her mother had suffered for two years before her death, and Rachel had willingly nursed her. She had always known that her mother and father’s marriage was not one made in heaven, but her mother’s sickness had brought out the worst in her father. He couldn’t deal with the illness that hung over the house like a shroud, so instead, he’d spent as little time as possible there, leaving the burden of care to Rachel.
Not that she’d minded. She’d loved her mother with a fierce loyalty that had lasted until she’d breathed her final breath, and beyond. But Rachel had paid a price for that devotion. Tom’s initial patience with pushing back the wedding date wore thin as one year became two, and finally he, too, found someone else to give him the attention he craved.
The day after her mother’s funeral, he’d broken the news to her. He’d met someone else. He was in love and going to marry her. Rachel remembered the blow of her mother’s death and Tom’s desertion like a one-two punch at a heavyweight match. The final straw was when her father introduced her to his lady-friend, and told her that he and the woman were marrying and moving into their home.
Her mother’s home.
It was all too much for Rachel. She’d exploded the day of his marriage, and the screaming fight that ensued left them both angry and shaken. At the time, the rift had seemed irrevocable as far as Rachel was concerned. She’d moved out that same day, staying with an old school friend and her husband until she could make arrangements to move away.
New York had been a big, sprawling refuge, a place to lose herself, a place to hide. But she’d found that hiding was not enough for her. She’d been sure her mother was watching over her when she’d landed the first job in the garment industry for which she’d applied. She’d apprenticed to a cloth designer, building on her fashion schooling, learning the fabric trade. She’d found an apartment, met Trudy, and had her life running on an even keel for the first time in a very long time.
And then the bottom fell out. She lost her job when the parent company made what they called “necessary cutbacks.” Since she had been the last hired, she was the first fired. That was four months ago. She’d pounded the pavement ever since in hopes of landing a new job, substitute waitressing at the corner coffee shop during the lunch hour to supplement her meager inheritance.
Though her pride bristled at the thought of crawling back home, she knew that was her best course of action. At least if she wanted to have the baby. And she did. That was the only thing of which she was absolutely sure.
So the decision was made.
The buzzer sounded and Rachel rolled off the bed. Trudy had promised to stop by after work and bring take-out. Not that Rachel was the least bit hungry, but she knew if she didn’t eat, Trudy would lecture her, and she would have to agree. She was, after all, now eating for two.
She hit the button and set the table with silverware and napkins as she waited for Trudy to arrive. As the knock sounded, Rachel opened the door to her friend standing with a shopping bag full of Chinese food.
“Did you buy out the restaurant?” Rachel asked with an indulgent smile.
“No, I didn’t buy out the restaurant. I just bought enough for you to have some leftovers. I know you won’t cook for yourself.”
“You’re impossible,” Rachel said.
Trudy patted her cheek as she placed the shopping bag on top of the table. “But you love me anyway.”
They sat down to eat, and Trudy smiled, her mouth stuffed with lo mein. “Don’t we get along great?” she asked.
“Wonderfully,” Rachel said as she toyed with the fried rice.
“You know,” Trudy began, “we’d be great together.”
“Together?”
“Yeah. Living together.”
“What are you talking about?” Rachel asked.
“You. Me. Living together at my place.”
“Oh, Trudy—”
“No, really. We could do it. I work all day. You could help me out keeping the place neat and all.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You barely have enough room for yourself.”
“That’s not true. There’s that little alcove. We could put the crib in there. You could sleep in my room.”
“And what about Jake?”
“What about him?”
“Your relationship is just heating up. How is he going to fit into all this?” Rachel asked with a shake of her head. “Really, Trudy. Three’s a crowd. And once the baby comes, it’ll be four.”
“So? We’ll have a parade! Come on, we can do it.”
Rachel shook her head. “No.” She leaned forward and put her hand over Trudy’s, not even trying to fight the tears that filled her eyes. “You are the best friend I’ve ever had in my entire life. Thank you for the offer, but no. I’ve already made up my mind what to do.”
