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Six years ago she would have teased him about being so bossy. But that was when they were dating. When the foolish decisions Heather would make would result in a gentle reprimand from him and a smart remark from her.
Instead, she wrapped her coat around her, ducked her head against the gust of wind that had started up, and walked to the truck. She slipped a couple times on ice patches, unable to get the proper purchase in her high-heeled boots, but she finally made it. As she pulled open the door, cheerful music, Adana’s happy chatter and blessed heat washed over her.
She climbed into the raised cab and pulled the door closed behind her, shivering as she turned to Adana, who was sitting in her car seat on the passenger side.
The little girl grew suddenly silent and stared back at her, eyes as blue as John’s, curls of blond hair sticking out from under her winter hat.
Adana had John’s eyes, his arching eyebrows. But she had her mother’s delicate nose and generous smile. An ache settled in Heather’s stomach as she looked at a child who was the same age as her own child would have been.
* * *
Six years they’d been apart, six years since she’d broken up with him, left Montana and him for Mitch and the high life of working as a model in New York City, and she could still make him feel like an idiotic teenager.
John yanked open the jockey box in the bed of his truck, the lid obscuring the occupants of the cab. He paused a moment, gloved hands resting on the edge of the box, trying to get his bearings. He’d known Heather was coming. Her arrival was all her adoptive parents, Monty and Ellen Bannister, could talk about. Every time he’d picked up Adana from the main house, where she spent time while he worked, he heard Keira and her mother laughing and talking about the bridal shower Heather would help them plan.
He thought he’d been prepared, but facing the reality of Heather was harder to deal with than the idea of her.
She had always been a stunning beauty, back when they’d dated. But now her face was narrower, her cheekbones more pronounced, her green eyes more wary, her hair even longer than when she’d left. Her expensive clothes were a far cry from the Wrangler jeans she used to favor. Altogether, they combined to give her an elusive beauty that had sucked the breath right out of him when she’d squeezed out of that car.
John pulled the coiled rope out of the box, his hands still trembling from the rush of adrenaline after almost hitting her with his truck, then seeing her again.
Though her car was buried nose deep in the ditch, Heather seemed unhurt. As for the other reason his heart was still pounding, well, she hadn’t been a part of his life for a long, long time. When she broke up with him, he’d thought he was over her.
Guess not.
Her timing wasn’t the best, though.
To the Bannisters, Heather was their adopted daughter, a wounded soul who needed extra protection. To him, she was a huge complication in the plans he’d been putting into place for the past few months. He just hoped her presence wouldn’t jeopardize his business dealings with Monty, Heather’s father.
Buying into a partnership on Refuge Ranch with Monty Bannister, his father’s old boss, was all John had ever wanted since he was a young boy growing up there. Now, after months of methodical plans, calculations and deliberations, he had brought a solid proposal to Monty, just last week. He’d hoped the rancher would make a decision before Heather came home.
She could prove to be an unwelcome distraction. John knew Monty and Ellen hadn’t been crazy about him dating Heather when they were in high school. He had always suspected that was the reason they’d encouraged her to go to college. Which had resulted in their breakup.
Just bide your time, he told himself as he slammed the lid of the toolbox. Heather will be gone soon and Monty will give you his answer.
John grabbed a shovel as well, then stepped onto his truck’s bumper and dropped to the road. He started to dig up the snow Heather’s car was buried in, taking his frustration with his unwelcome reaction to her out on it.
Ten minutes later he had to concede defeat. The spring snow was hard, packed and icy. There was no way he was getting the car out on his own. There had been damage done to the wheels.
He found the tow truck number in his cell phone and dialed. Dwayne answered on the first ring.
“Yeah, I got a car in the ditch up here on the road to Refuge Ranch,” John said as he walked to his truck. “Can you come and pull it out?”
“I’m actually right at Keith McCauley’s place delivering an old truck,” Dwayne told him. “I can be there in fifteen.”
“We’ll wait.” He ended the call, then opened the truck door, and heard Adana chattering away.
“Pwetty earring. Like your earrings. I have earrings.” She showed Heather the piercings in her ears that Sandy’s mother had gotten for her last month.
But Heather, still sitting in the driver’s seat, wasn’t looking at his daughter.
“Do you need me?” she asked, clambering out of the cab, as if grateful for the distraction. She almost slipped on the ice yet again in her hurry to get away from the vehicle.
He was about to steady her again, but she found her balance, pulling away from his outstretched hand.
“I can’t budge your car out of the snow, and one of the tires is popped off its rim. I’ve called Dwayne to pull it out. We may as well wait in the truck till he comes.”
Heather folded her arms over her chest. “Sure. Okay.” With a tight nod she climbed back into the truck, then moved over, closer to Adana, so he could swing in beside her.
It was a little too close for comfort, he thought, as he shut the door. You’ll have to help me through this, Lord, he prayed as he turned up the fan in the truck. Help me remember that Adana is my priority. Help me to remember Sandy and my promise to her to keep our daughter safe. Help me not to be distracted by Heather and her crazy life.
It had happened too many times in the past. He hoped by now he had learned his lesson. Heather was like candy. Sweet, attractive, but with no staying power. And as he glanced over at his daughter, he caught her watching him with her bright blue eyes, so like Sandy’s it made his heart ache. Adana was his responsibility and she was all he needed in his life.
He felt Heather’s arm brush his as she settled into the seat, her arms crossed, eyes resolutely ahead.
She couldn’t look more uncomfortable if she was on her way to an execution.
He shifted closer to the door, reminding himself that Heather was a complication he just had to deal with until she was gone. Because she would leave. In spite of how excited her sister and mother were about her returning home, he knew she wouldn’t stay as long as they believed she would. Leaving had been the story of her life and the refrain of their relationship. She couldn’t have changed much in six years.
Chapter Two (#ulink_2b9e88c5-d384-5dac-928b-fbab7600ba2f)
Heather tried not to panic as she stood on the road watching her car, resting on the flat deck of Dwayne’s tow truck, head back to Saddlebank.
It’ll be okay, she reminded herself. How damaged could a car get from hitting a ditch? She chose not to think about the whine she’d been hearing since Rapid City, South Dakota. The car would be fine.
She was staying at the ranch until the weekend. That should give them enough time to fix it. Then she could head out to Seattle for her job interview.
A prayer hovered on the periphery of her thoughts, a remnant of a youth spent going to church. But she brushed it aside. She’d sent out many prayers the past few years. None of them had been answered, and she doubted any would be now. She had learned the hard way that she was on her own in this world.
A quick glance back showed her that John had already moved Adana’s car seat to the middle of the cab, putting the little girl between the two adults.
As Heather got back in the truck, Adana reached out to her dad. “We see Grammy?” she asked.
“No, honey. We’ll see Grammy another time,” John said as he started the engine and made a U-turn on the road.
“Wanna see Grammy,” Adana whined. “See Grammy.”
“Sorry, honey.” He gave Heather an apologetic look. “We were on our way to Sandy’s parents for dinner. They’re leaving on a trip and had hoped to see Adana before they went.”
Heather felt guilty. She remembered all too well the first time Sandy, taking pity on the new girl at school, had taken her home with her. Kim Panko, Sandy’s mother, had been friendly enough, but Heather had an innate ability to read people—a necessary skill developed as a result of the constant moves she and her natural mother, Beryl Winson, had made the first ten years of Heather’s life. Over the course of the two girls’ friendship, Sandy’s mother had reminded Heather often how fortunate she’d been to be taken in and adopted by the Bannister family. She suspected Kim wouldn’t be pleased to find out her return to Saddlebank was the reason John and Adana hadn’t come for supper.
“I could have called my dad to pick me up,” she said. “Or Keira.”
“And it would have taken them half an hour to get here. It’s fine.”
Heather folded her hands in her lap, looking directly ahead, wondering if waiting in the chilly wind would have been preferable to riding with John and his daughter, feeling guilty because her mistake had prevented them from visiting Sandy’s parents.
“Your mother is excited to see you,” John said, his own eyes on the road. “That’s all she’s been talking about since she found out you were coming.”
“I’m excited to see her and Dad, too. It’s been so long.”
“So why—” John stopped himself there. “Sorry. None of my business.”
“Why was I gone so long?” Heather blamed the sharp note in her voice on the delayed reaction to plowing her car into the ditch. It had nothing to do with seeing her old boyfriend again.
John gave her a direct look, his blue eyes seeming to bore into her. Then he glanced away.
“I couldn’t get the time off. I would have come if I could.” The words sounded lame, even to her.
“Pwease, have earrings,” Adana said, reaching for the feather-shaped baubles tangled in Heather’s long hair.
“Those are too dangerous for you to play with,” she replied.
“And probably too expensive,” John added. He was smiling, but Heather caught the faintest hint of reproach.
She could have told him that she’d picked these up on the cheap from a street vendor at Herald Square as she’d been hurrying to an interview for yet another low-paying job. But saying so would require an explanation as to why she was forced to work in a retail job—any job, actually—when she’d made so much money modeling. Which would mean delving into the sorry state of her finances and her relationship with Mitch.
Your new job is the start of your new life, she reminded herself. Only if you can get to Seattle. Only if your car gets fixed in time.
Adana yawned loudly, then laid her head back against her car seat, blinking slowly. She looked tired, but turned to Heather again, softly smiling and reaching out to touch her arm.
Sorrow lacerated Heather’s soul at the contact, and she felt as if her breath was sucked out of her body. Seeing this little girl up close brought back painful memories of her own loss.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” John asked her. “You look like you’re in pain. Did you get hurt when your car hit the ditch?”
Heather fought for composure, slowly breathing in and out. “No. I’m fine.” The aches in her body would go away. The one in her soul would be with her always. She’d thought she had buried it, but Adana was a reminder of what she had lost.
“I hope she sleeps a bit,” John was saying. “She’s been out of sorts the last few days. Getting shuffled around too much.”
“My mom takes care of her when you’re working, doesn’t she?”
“She did. But after your mom broke her neck, your mom’s friend Alice has been helping out. She’s a good person, just...” John stopped there.
“Not the same as her mother,” Heather finished for him.
He nodded at her comment. “No. And I can’t give Adana that.”
Heather heard the sorrow in his voice and felt a glimmer of envy for the person he was grieving.
“Your daughter looks a lot like Sandy,” she couldn’t help saying.
“That’s what everyone tells me,” John replied, his features softening as he smiled at his little girl. “Thankfully, she has Sandy’s sweet personality, too.”
“Lucky her. Sandy was a wonderful person and a good friend. I’m sure...I’m sure you miss her.”
John laid his hand on Adana’s legs, curling his fingers around them, as if reinforcing the connection between them. “Thankfully, I still have Adana.”
Heather knew his comment was a simple statement of fact, but she couldn’t help feeling a gentle reprimand. She should have sent a sympathy card after Sandy’s death, but Heather and John had had a complicated history. Too many missed opportunities.
Too many wrong choices.
Heather stopped herself from delving into the past as she stared at the road ahead. This visit to the ranch was a chance to catch her breath. Connect with her family before she headed out to a job that she felt would give her some control over her runaway life.
She glanced at John’s profile. In spite of the tension that seemed to have settled between them like a silent visitor, she felt that curious twinge of attraction that was always between them.
His features were even, well proportioned. His narrow nose, angled cheekbones and strong chin with the faintest hint of scruff all combined in perfect harmony. Even his tousled blond hair added to the look of a man who commanded attention everywhere he went.
Aware of her scrutiny, he sent a puzzled glance her way. “What’s wrong?”
She laughed. “Nothing. I was just thinking you’d make a good model.”
His eyes narrowed. “That’s not the kind of life I’d like.”
The harsh note in his voice seemed like another reprimand of her previous lifestyle.
Modeling had made her a lot of money, but had also brought her a lot of grief. It had created a false sense of what had value and what didn’t. And from the frown on John’s face, it had caused an even larger chasm between them.
“It isn’t for everyone,” she admitted quietly.
“Did you enjoy it? Modeling?”
She easily heard his unspoken questions.
Why did you quit college? Why did you choose Mitch over me?
“I don’t think I would have chosen that career if it wasn’t for Mitch,” Heather responded, trying not to sound defensive.
“He got you your first job, didn’t he?”
She gave a curt nod, remembering too well Mitch’s promises of big money that had made her quit college when things got hard. And the money had come those first few years. She had been able to repay the Bannisters the sum they had put up for her college expenses, which had made her feel she’d repaid her debt to them. But even as she’d experienced some success, it all came to a crashing halt when Mitch had made some bad investments. The first thing he lost was the fancy apartment, the second, his control over his temper.
Regret, Heather’s constant companion, shivered through her.
“I was sorry to hear about your divorce,” John said. “I’m sure...it’s been hard.”
“It’s okay. I’m over the worst of it,” she told him, with a careful shrug.
Which was a lie, she thought, unable to keep herself from glancing at Adana again. Heather had thought she was over the worst, until she saw John and his perfect little girl—both stark reminders of what she had given up to seek a life she’d thought she’d wanted.
She looked ahead, drawing on old survival skills, tricks she’d learned to get through whatever faced her.
You’re on your own, Heather, she reminded herself. Only you can take care of you.
* * *
“Thanks for bringing our girl home,” Monty said, taking one of Heather’s suitcases from John as he stepped off the back of his truck. “How badly is Heather’s car damaged?”
“Not sure. Dwayne said he would tell Alan to call you and let you know,” John said as he set a second suitcase on the ground. “But from what I could see, the front end was badly dented up and the tires had come off the rims.”
