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Sniffles. “Uh-huh.”
Shuffling came across the line. Then in the background she heard Aaron’s voice, softly coaching Braden. Then what sounded like an escalating, “I-don’t-want-to-I-don’t-want-to-I-don’t-want-to,” then a minor scuffle then sniffling back on the line.
“M-Miss Sarah, I took your phone.”
“Oh. Why? Did you just want to play with it?”
“No-oo. I wanted to play with you.”
Sarah covered the phone and turned her mouth away. Easier to quell the laugh. “You thought if you took my phone that I’d have to come back. Is that it?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Aaron whispered in the background.
“Yes, ma’am,” Braden corrected in a wobbly voice.
“Well, how about if I want to come back on my own? Wouldn’t that be better?”
“Uh-huh. Daddy says, wait…” The sound of a hand muting the phone but not covering it completely. “What did you say, Daddy?” Then Braden’s windlike breath came back across the phone. “He says it’s not wrong to wanna see you again. Just how I took the phone to get my way wasn’t right.”
A deep male voice from the background: “And I’m sorry.”
“And I’m…wait. Daddy, why are you sorry?”
A sigh. Then an Aaron-size chuckle. “Not me, son. You.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, Miss Sarah.”
“I forgive you, Braden. And I hope we get to see each other again, too. Your daddy loves you and your brother very much. So much that he wants to be very sure to pick the right nanny. If that’s not me, then God will send someone better. Do you believe that?”
“Guess so.”
“So you learned a lesson today. Sometimes I’ve learned lessons the hard way, too.”
“You did?”
“Yup. But you’re a good boy and I know your daddy knows that.”
“Kay. Bye.” More shuffling.
Then, “Sarah?” The deep baritone of the father whose voice should not make her want to swoon or melt. But did nonetheless.
“I’m here.” But wish I was there.
“Thanks for being so gracious with forgiveness.”
Please return the favor. “No problem.”
But there was a problem. Braden’s innocent words rang in her head like a gong.
Daddy says it’s not wrong to want to see you again.
Why did her mind question whether it was wrong to hope the boys’ father wanted to see her again, too?
“If you’ll shoot me your address, I’ll run this phone by.”
Nor could she deny the hope lifting her joy and her pulse in anticipation of seeing Aaron again.
Sarah fumbled with reciting the address. “If you want to bring the boys, that’s fine.”
“They’d love to come see you, but bedtime looms.”
“Ahh, yes. Very important to keep schedules consistent.”
“Especially since their emotional equilibrium is a little off with me returning to work.”
“Would it be better for me to come there to get my phone?”
“No, then the boys would be too riled to sleep. Besides, that’d reward Braden for taking your phone and Bryce for hiding the fact from me. Especially since they did so to force you back. I’ll just bring it by.”
“Okay.” Sarah hated for Mina to have to do the bedtime ritual alone. “If you need to wait until the boys are bathed and settled to come over, that’s fine.”
“That’d be good. I’ll help Mina put the boys down to sleep first if you don’t mind waiting.”
“I don’t have anywhere to be.”
“Great, then. See you in a bit.”
The call disconnected, but she could still imagine his voice on the line. See you in a bit. She melted at the notion.
Then she remembered she was wearing her oldest pair of snarled-leg jeans with her favorite—but falling apart—flip-flops.
She surged to her closet and searched for something nicer. She flipped through hangers, struggling to convince herself she was trying to impress Aaron her potential boss and not Aaron the drop-dead gorgeous man.
Sarah shoved down flares of attraction trying to ignite in her mind. Fended off fond remembrances of the way he said her name, of how deep and rich and soothing-suave his voice was. How intent and coordinated he looked when he walked: sure and solid yet graceful and sublime.
“That’s it.” She’d nip this nonsense right now. Sarah reached blindly and yanked a shirt, any shirt, from a hanger, vowing she’d wear whatever her hand landed on. The material slid off into her fingers, which recoiled at the feel of steely, pokey wool.
The closet mocked her like an open, laughing mouth.
Great. The ugly unisex fruitcake cardigan her family passed around at Christmas. Year after year they’d rewrap it and send it to someone else. Sarah had managed to avoid it until this year. It was four sizes too big, but oh, well. She must endure her choice and ensure her motives were pure.
After throwing the cardigan over her pink, paint-splotched T-shirt, Sarah intentionally resisted the urge to rush to the bathroom and freshen up her hair and makeup before he came.
She stood in front of the motel dresser mirror and pointed a finger at her reflection. “Don’t feed this attraction. Don’t. And it will starve into nothing.”
Deep inside, she knew she wanted this for the boys.
She sat on the creaky bed and picked up her Bible. “Please order this attraction back in its place,” she asked God and opened to where she’d started reading this morning.
Then she sat to write her letter.
I pray you always have people in your life who love and care about you. I wish you a full life. I’m sorry I might have taken that away. I pray for you every day. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you and wonder how you are. I’m sorry for my choice beyond what words can say. With love, Sarah.
She stamped a flower on the front of the envelope and fancied it with her embosser. Sunflower this time. She rose and eyed the sparse parking lot. The clock. Paced the small room. Pondered how heavy a responsibility it would be to find the most well-suited long-term caregiver for those little cuties, who were obviously Aaron’s cherished treasures.
“And please, for their sake, let me have this job. I know I’m right for it. For them. Help Mr. Petrowski know that, too.”
“Could this be it?” Aaron stepped from his SUV into the parking lot of a run-down motel in the bad part of town. The sort of shady that had nothing to do with trees.
One of the unit doors opened. Sarah, dressed in a gaudy top and worn jeans, stepped out. “Hi there.”
“Hi.” He held out the phone and tried not to balk at the horrific attire. “Here’s the evidence.”
She laughed and stepped forward, reaching. Their hands brushed with the transference of the cell.
He paused, endeared at how her cheeks matched the color of her pink shirt beneath the V-neck of her old, Army tent-looking sweater. One that looked as if it had waged a war and lost. Still experiencing a zing in his fingers, he shoved his hands in his pockets at the same time as she fumbled her phone into hers.
“So,” they said simultaneously, then laughed.
“You live in a motel?” Aaron rocked back on his heels to view the buzzing sign, missing the first and last letters. “Or should I say an ‘ote’?”
Her shy smile faded. But only for a second. “For now. It’s a lot nicer inside than the outside looks.”
He peered around the neglected neighborhood. Same area where Celia Munez, now Peña, wife of team member Manny, lost her first husband. He was killed here during a drug bust years prior to her meeting Manny. The team had talked of ways to reach out to the area’s gang-prone teens and their families.
“This isn’t exactly the safest part of town.”
“I figured that out. I plan to get a better place. I just wanted to wait until…”
Her voice trailed but he knew her thoughts. She wanted to wait to see if she got this position as his boys’ nanny, for if she did, she’d have a place to live. But until he was one hundred percent certain she was it, he couldn’t give her false hope. Still, he hated for a young woman like her to be living in a place like this.
“I’m sure you’ll find something better soon.” He offered a reassuring smile.
She studied his face, then nodded. Yet her uncertain expression suggested she held doubt over getting the job.
Throat cleared, he hesitated a moment, deciding how best to word this. “I’m not that good at telling people how I feel. I’m better at giving orders and controlling insubordination.” He cleared his throat again. “But I just wanted to say thanks.”
“For?”
“Yesterday. I’ve never seen my children laugh that hard for that long. Ever.”
She looked momentarily disturbed. Same way he felt.
“Whatever you brought to our home that day, Sarah, don’t ever lose that in your life. No matter how things work out with us, I mean, with this job.”
She nodded. He was surprised to see moisture sheen her eyes. He stuffed his hands deeper in his pockets to keep from tending to the lone tear streaking down her face. The back of her hand swiped it away like a pesky mosquito. Fidgety, she gathered gobs of that overgrown eyesore of a sweater and twisted its hem in her small hands. Her frazzled mood matched the sweater. She didn’t seem the type to cry. So why did she?
He shifted his feet, which ached to go to her. “What did I say that upset you?”
Her shoulders rose then drooped. “It just seemed the kind of speech a person gets before they get let go, is all.”
Did she not know? Letting her go was the last thing on his mind right now. Seeing her luminous eyes and lips swollen with emotion and the way moonlight played with hair as shiny as gold…
He swallowed. “I have no reason to think you won’t get the job. But I also live under the logic that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.”
She gave an unexpected laugh. “In other words, you’re looking for my fatal flaw?”
“Guess so. I like your bluntness, by the way.”
“I prefer to think of it as transparency.” Her smile faded and her eyes dimmed. “I am flawed, Aaron. But I’ve learned and grown from the mistakes of my youth. Some really big mistakes.”
“We all have.” He shifted. “And you’re still young.”
“Which means I’ll make more mistakes?”
“No, I meant that…I guess I’m not sure what I meant.”
“If you choose to trust me, you won’t be sorry. But if this isn’t meant to be, then there’s someone better for your family. Trust your judgment.”
He nodded, amazed at the level of wisdom riding her young words and the power of conviction driving them. Whether she ended up being their nanny or not, this was an extraordinary woman. One he’d not soon forget if things didn’t work out.
“Now, get back to those beautiful boys and watch them sleep. Give Mina my regards.” She stepped back toward the concrete landing that ran flush with the drab units.
At the sudden proximal distance, Aaron experienced a dip of disappointment. Surprised himself with acknowledgment that once here, he didn’t want to leave her presence.
The way she paused and tapped her toe on rotting boards meant to be someone’s lame attempt at landscaping, maybe she felt the same.
September’s late evening breeze lifted silken hair off slender shoulders and swirled fallen multicolored leaves behind her. Stepping away from the wood and onto the gravel lot toward him again, she rubbed her arms. “Chilly for fall.”
“I think we’re expecting a harsh winter. I should let you get inside out of the cold. Again, sorry about the phone.”
“No need to apologize. I understand.”
He backed up a step and tried to think of something intelligent to say to exit the conversation, but his brain felt first-date awkward. Weird. “So, I’ll be in touch.”
“I hope so.”
Aaron turned to go with her softly spoken words streaming across his heart, slipping past barriers he’d spent years steel-bolting against such feminine wiles. Yet he was certain she had no idea the effect she stirred in him. How her voice melted the metal off the chains around his heart. Guileless. Words issued one breath beyond a whisper. Yet her honesty gushed. And it echoed his thoughts right now.
I hope so, too.
At the concrete bumper near the gravel lot, he paused to look over his shoulder.
And found her, arms crossed over her belly, watching him. Half hunched over, almost as though in pain.
Yet she smiled. Or tried to, with a dreamy expression she seemed pained to carry.
