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“I don’t know how to apologize for all this. We don’t usually treat guests quite so shabbily.”
“It’s no problem. I’m just glad we saved Harris from those bears.” He smiled at the kid, glad to have something else to focus on.
“Well, you’re certainly being a good sport. Harris and I appreciate it.”
At the mention of his name, the boy raised his head. “Rock Harris sleep.”
Cally smiled. “All right, baby, we’ll rock.” She and the boy settled into the upholstered rocker by the fireplace. “Want some coffee? I just made some decaf.” She nodded toward the counter.
He started to refuse, then looked at the woman rocking her child in the darkened room. Light from the full moon shone on her curly hair and Harris’s face. They looked so clean and…normal was the word that popped into his mind.
Marcus hadn’t experienced anything related to normal or clean in what seemed like forever. Even the people he guarded at the casino generally needed his services because they weren’t the most upstanding of characters. There was usually a reason someone would want to harm them.
His undercover work placed him with the underbelly of society. He didn’t want to think about how that was changing him. He’d been under too long—losing touch with the things that reminded him who he really was.
He nodded. “Sure, why not?” He didn’t want to leave Cally, her son or their small slice of normalcy just yet, and he felt a ridiculous spurt of pleasure that he had an excuse to stay longer.
“Cups are in the cabinet by the stove. Shortbread cookies are in the blue canister.”
“You want anything?” he asked.
“Refill my cup, if you don’t mind, and I’ll be fine. It’s there by the sink.”
Cally rocked and hummed tunelessly while he located the cookies and put some on a plate. Her voice was soothing and he found himself sinking into it like the boy draped across her chest.
He leaned over to set the cup of coffee by her rocker and caught the lush scent of her hair—exotic and spicy. It was a punch to his gut and another kick to his long-dormant libido that had his head spinning.
She looked awfully angelic to smell so erotic. Not at all what he’d expected from watching her rock the boy.
Harris was almost asleep. Feeling like an awkward teenager who has suddenly found an empty seat next to the head cheerleader, Marcus sat on the loveseat.
“I am so sor….”
He interrupted. “Please don’t apologize again. It’s all right.”
“He’s been having these nightmares for over a month. I can’t figure out where they came from. Goldilocks is the closest we’ve come to a scary bear story.”
“It’s amazing how their minds work.”
“Do you have children?”
“Nope, never been married.”
“Oh, they’re quite an adventure. As you can tell from the evening you’ve had.” He could tell she was smiling in the darkness.
“It must be a challenge, raising one by yourself?”
She didn’t answer right away.
“Yes…It’s been difficult…and wonderful at the same time.”
“How old was Harris when his father died?”
As soon as the words were out, Marcus wished them back. This wasn’t what he wanted to be talking about. It was only going to make things more difficult.
“He hadn’t been born. We didn’t even know I was pregnant.”
Marcus listened intently, still marveling at the direction of their conversation. She stopped speaking for a moment, caught up in the memories, he supposed.
“I think the hardest part has been realizing all the things that his father will never see. Harris’s first steps, his first haircut, his first little-league game, high school…”
The sadness in her voice didn’t reflect self-pity. Unexpectedly, Marcus felt a longing well up inside for something besides the sexual attraction that was coming to life here. He couldn’t name it—contentment, maybe. Whatever it was, the absence was worrisome.
“We’d been trying for a year to have a baby. I think that’s why it bothers me so much…that he never knew.”
Her voice wavered and she inhaled sharply. “Jamie and I had a lot of dreams. The most important one came true when Harris was born. It amazes me sometimes that after all that’s happened—life can still be good.”
Marcus listened to the creaking of the chair as she rocked on in silence. He heard Harris’s breathing change as the child drifted off to sleep and found himself identifying with Jamie Burnett. A man who had missed out on his dreams.
Sometimes—when he allowed himself to think about it—Marcus felt that he was missing out on life because he was dead inside.
Could I change? Sitting with this woman in the moonlight, he wanted to believe that it wasn’t too late for him.
Cally interrupted his thoughts, “Mr. North, I can’t believe I just told you all that. It’s got to be more than you ever wanted to know. You are very easy to talk to.”
He smiled grimly. Listening. It’s what he was good at.
“So…what about you? Have you always been a bodyguard?
He hesitated. Now the deception would have to start. “No, not always.” He knew he was being evasive, but found himself not wanting to lie to her.
“I’ve done a little of everything. But I like security work the best.”
She nodded and didn’t push. “So do you like working at the casino?”
“Oh, I’m enjoying it. The people are interesting. It’s good pay. I like the hours.”
“What time will you be going to work in the mornings?”
“It’ll vary. All depends on what time my big clients, the whales, are coming in. This week I’m working the night shift, so I don’t have to go in until the afternoons. I’ll be monitoring security when I don’t have a specific client to do one-on-one work for.”
“Tomorrow we’re serving breakfast in the dining room at nine. If you’d prefer to eat in your room, I can have Luella bring you a tray.”
“No, I’ll come down for breakfast. That casserole I saw in the fridge looked good.”
She smiled. “Specialty of the house.”
Marcus sat a moment longer even though he knew it was time to leave. He wanted something that he had no right to ask for. Maybe if they’d met in a different place, under different…normal circumstances.
His timing was disastrous as always. Hell, she’d put him out on his ass and call the police if she knew why he was really here.
“Well, I’d better get this guy to bed. Thanks again for your help. Aren’t you glad you got the room with so much privacy?” she teased.
“Nothing like it,” he laughed. “Goodnight, Mrs. Burnett.”
“Please, after all this, call me Cally.”
“All right, Cally. I’m Marcus.” He reached out and shook her hand again.
He wasn’t expecting it, but when he touched her, a jolt of awareness shimmied up his fingertips and settled in the vicinity of his chest. He barely stopped himself from stepping back. He was surprised at the struggle he had making eye contact.
When he finally forced himself to look at her—wanting to see if she was affected in any way—she was glancing down at her son. He took a deep sip of air. The slice of normalcy was over. It was past time for him to leave.
Harris opened sleepy eyes. “Momma, rock more.”
“Okay, baby, but in your room.” She stood in the doorway with the child cradled in her arms. Once more, Marcus felt that unnamed longing well up inside his chest.
“See you in the morning, Marcus. Thanks again.”
“Goodnight, Cally.”
He cruised up the attic stairs to his room to hear the rocking chair creaking over the forgotten baby monitor. He stared at it a moment debating over whether to tote it back downstairs. Cally was singing to Harris.
“Hush, little baby, don’t say a word. Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.” He remembered how she looked with Harris draped across her shoulder, moonlight shining on her hair and the boy’s face.
Nope, he needed to stay far away from Cally Burnett tonight, or he might do something he’d regret. He was doing this job by the book, no matter what.
I’m saving my career. What else is there? Too keyed up to sleep but knowing he had to at least try, he slid into bed and turned off the light.
He was reaching to turn off the monitor when her voice stopped him. “If that mockingbird don’t sing, Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.”
It was more than the wanting her physically; at least he was pretty sure it was. Hell, he was too tired to puzzle out the mess at this point.
Her voice rolled over him like an ocean wave and he exhaled as the muscles in his jaw began to unclench. He left the monitor on and stacked his hands behind his head. He’d turn it off when she finished the song. He closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep with Cally’s lullaby in his head.
Chapter Four
“And then, to top it all off, I left the monitor on in the attic room and Harris had another one of his nightmares.”
“Lord, Cally. How did that happen?” Luella was laughing along with her.
“Oh, I forgot to get it when Bay and I were working in there yesterday. Harris’s crying woke up Marcus and he came down to tell me.”
“Marcus, huh?”
Cally rolled her eyes. She knew as soon as the words left her lips that Luella would notice that first-name usage.
“Don’t get excited…”
Luella snorted. “Well apparently I’m the only one around here who does, and that’s just a sad thing.”
Cally ignored her pointed remark. She’d been throwing quite a few of those out there lately.
“Then what happened?” asked Luella.
“I got Harris up and rocked him in the kitchen.”
“Where was, um…Marcus?”
“He stayed down here to drink a cup of coffee and we talked.”
“Um-huh,” Luella smacked her gum.
“I couldn’t just send him away after he’d gotten out of bed to come tell me about Harris.”
“Um-huh.” Luella smacked her gum faster.
“So we drank some coffee while Harris calmed down.”
“Um-huh.”
“Luella, quit ‘um-huhing’ me.”
“Um, um, um.”
Cally laughed. “You’re impossible. Nothing happened.”
“More’s the pity. Honey, you need a man.”
“Luella, we just talked. Actually, I talked. And while I might need a man, I don’t think he should be one of my paying guests. Believe me, Mr. North got way more information than he wanted. He is an incredible listener.”
“Why, do tell? Exactly what did you two discuss?”
“Jamie mostly, and Harris.”
Luella stopped slicing the strawberries and stared at Cally.
“I know. It was kind of weird, I don’t think I’ve talked to anyone like that since Jamie died.” She checked the casserole and spoke over her shoulder. She didn’t want to meet Luella’s eyes. “Guess I’ve been too busy.”
Luella sighed and sliced fruit in silence. Cally wanted to bite her tongue. They’d discussed this before. She was surviving widowhood, thank you very much. She’d sold the farm. She was running the bed-and-breakfast. She was raising her son. She was fine.
She never again wanted to feel the powerlessness she had after Jamie’s death. And she didn’t need a man to complicate her life. No matter what Luella said.
Cally’d made the decision to raise Harris alone when she’d found out she was pregnant. The wall she’d built around her heart the day she got that stunning news had become her fortress. Six weeks after she’d buried her husband she’d needed armor to survive that wonderful, life-changing…crushing phone call from the doctor’s office.
Pregnant and alone, she would never have survived the mind-numbingly painful days that followed without her bulletproof shield intact. When Harris was born, the wall was a way to keep well-meaning busybodies out.
Taking that wall down would be like removing part of herself. She had let Bay and Luella in. They were family and part of her. And Kevin. Her darling, wonderful, gay best friend. Kevin was family, too.
