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“But if we hadn’t argued that day… All I wanted was to help my son. He thinks I’m a stubborn old man.”
Ali assisted Cliff to the edge of the bed. “Sometimes we have to let people find their own way,” she began. “My grandmother always says, ‘To love is to let go, and let God.’”
His hand was trembling, and she wondered how much sleep the man had had in the past week. “I can’t seem to do that. Where I came from, Ali, life was tough. My own dad took off when I was only ten. I had to help support my mom.”
Ali saw him cringe, and he raised his head to make eye contact with her.
“I bet you thought I always had a good life. Well, I didn’t.” He sighed. “My childhood was so rotten that I want to forget it completely, to bury the past. I swore that no child of mine would ever know what I had to go through.”
Ali remained silent. Cliff Hawkins obviously needed to vent his feelings, and she seemed to be the only one around.
“I made it out of the projects, and made a name for myself. But it cost me.”
He glanced over at her, and Ali saw his eyes well up.
“I built a thriving business, but in the process I lost my wife to the bottle before I realized she needed help. By the time I got her into a rehab clinic, she didn’t care to live. She died a year later.
“Now I stand to lose my only son…a son who can barely tolerate me.” He swallowed and reached out to touch Jake’s battered face.
“He doesn’t exactly look like the big strapping kid who played quarterback in high school, or the soldier with a chest full of medals, does he?”
Ali felt her own tears form at the fear and sadness she saw in Cliff Hawkins’s eyes.
“Ah, Jake, you need to wake up,” he choked. “There are so many things I need to tell you. For one, how proud I always was of you. Funny, I told the whole world, but I guess I never got around to telling you. I am proud of you, son. So damn proud,” he whispered hoarsely.
He lifted Jake’s hand, held it between his palms, then rubbed it gently. “I never told you that the day you were born was the best day of my life. I know I did a lousy job as a father. I’d give anything to change the past and make things different between you and me. Damn it, Jake, I love you. You’ve got to give me another chance. Please come back, son. Please.”
Cliff Hawkins pinched the tears from his eyes and laid Jake’s hand down on the bed. “I’m not giving up, Jake. I just got you back into my life…and I’m not about to let you go.”
He stood and looked at Ali. “I’m sure Jake would rather wake up to see your big green eyes than these tired old blinkers.”
“I can’t stay much longer, Mr. Hawkins. I have to get back to work.”
“I understand, Ali. You’ve already spent a lot of time here. I know it’s hard on you, but I think your daily visits are helping Jake.”
“That’s what I need to tell you, Mr. Hawkins—”
“Please, I told you to call me Cliff.”
She nodded. “Cliff. I can’t come tomorrow.”
Ali could see his panic.
“But why?” he asked. “You know that Jake needs you.”
“Yes, but I have to take my daughter to her doctor’s appointment.”
He looked confused. “I didn’t know you were married.”
It was a question Ali had been asked a lot. This was the one time she wished she could lie. “I’m not.”
Jake heard her voice again. It seemed to float around him, all sweet and cheerful. And this time, he could understand more of what she was saying. It was as if her voice were coming through a tunnel. It was something about a beautiful day and that he should see the morning sun shining off the snow.
She came closer and touched him. First she picked up his hand, then she brushed the hair off his forehead. All the time talking about how she was going to stay until he woke up.
Who was she? Half-formed images flowed through his mind. A woman. The picture blurred again, retreating into darkness. A woman.
Her soft voice called his name again. “Jake, please…”
He felt the tender caress of her hand on his skin.
He knew it had been a long time since anyone had given him comfort in his life. Not since…Ali.
Two days later, when Ali walked into the private hospital room, Margo was busy at Jake’s bed, changing the IV.
“Hi, Margo. How’s he doing?”
Her friend smiled as she smoothed out the bedsheets. “Well, his vital signs are steadily improving. And according to his chart, Jake had a restless night.”
“And that’s a good sign?” Ali asked, confused.
“It’s a very good sign. Hopefully it means he’s fighting the coma.”
After Margo left, Ali walked across the room to the bed. “Jake. Why don’t you wake up?” She fought to make her voice upbeat and steeled herself against another day of false hope. What if he never woke up? she thought again. No. She wouldn’t let herself believe that could happen. How could she live with the fact that she’d kept her daughter from ever knowing her father?
“It’s such a pretty day today,” she said. “The sun is out, the temperature is in the thirties. Not too bad for southern Minnesota.”
She pulled off her coat and placed it on the chair. Each day she had been careful to look her best. She’d never been vain, but she wanted to be at her best when Jake woke up. She’d tied her hair back today, away from her face. She’d even trimmed her bangs. She wore a green sweater and her favorite black wool slacks. Even her grandmother had asked why she was so dressed up. For Jake, Ali had admitted truthfully, but only to herself.
She glanced down at the man in the bed. The bruises on his face had faded. Now it was easy to recognize the handsome man he’d always been. But it hadn’t been his good looks that attracted Ali to him. It had been his big heart. He’d been kind to everyone. And he’d tried to be like a big brother to her. It wasn’t his fault she’d fallen head over heels in love with him.
Ali walked around the room. “Oh, Jake,” she whispered. “I had a crush on you since the first day Darcie brought you home. Some of my fantasies were pretty advanced for a fourteen-year-old.” She felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “It wasn’t so much that you had to return my feelings. I just thought you deserved someone nicer than Darcie. Sometimes I hated the way she treated you.”
Ali returned to the bed and sat on the edge. “I wanted to tell you that Darcie would end up hurting you, but I couldn’t. She’d nearly convinced me that she loved you, but I knew her, I read the signs. Maybe if I had told you…given you some warning…”
Ali picked up Jake’s hand. His palms were rough. A man’s hand. A hand that had touched her, and pleasured her beyond her wildest dreams.
“When I came after you at the cottage, I only wanted to see if you were all right. But when you kissed me…it was like a dream come true. I have never regretted what happened between us that night. I never could. That night was so special. We made a child together, Jake.” Ali smiled proudly. “Joanie’s so beautiful…and so like you.”
Ali stared at him, hoping to see some response. “You should see your daughter. She’s got your coloring, your hair and eyes. She’s even inherited the Hawkins stubbornness. I’ve shown her your picture, but she needs more. She needs you in her life, Jake.” Ali wiped away her tears.
“I know you’ll be angry with me for not telling you, but I’ll deal with it. Just wake up. Please. For Joanie. For me,” Ali whispered.
She leaned toward him and placed her lips gently against his.
Suddenly his mouth began to move slowly beneath hers.
Panic surged through her, but she continued the kiss, and to her shock and joy, she soon realized that she hadn’t imagined his response. She couldn’t move, didn’t want to. Oh, God, it had been so long. Ali jerked back to look at his face, praying that he had opened his eyes. But he hadn’t.
“C’mon, Jake.” She cradled his face with trembling hands. “It’s Ali. You know it’s me, don’t you? It’s okay. You’re going to be all right.” She hugged him, then went running out the door.
Her heart racing, she somehow made it to the nurses’ station and found Margo. “Jake is waking up.”
Chapter Two
It was Ali. Ali’s voice. Ali’s lips on his. Jake felt as if he were drowning in the softness of her voice, her sweet scent. He was on the edge of heaven, and it was costing him all his strength just to return the kiss.
Suddenly she was gone. He tried to move, to call her back, but it was useless. Loneliness pressed in all around him.
For now, he’d be patient and work to wake up. Patience was something he’d never been good at, but never had there been so much at stake before.
If only he could remember what had happened to him. Whatever it was had put him in the hospital. He struggled to sort out Ali’s words. He had a child? A baby daughter.
A different kind of pain tore through his heart. Why didn’t you tell me, Ali? Why in God’s name didn’t anyone tell me?
Ali stood at the window in Jake’s room the next day, rubbing her tired eyes. She had spent almost three hours talking to Jake, touching him, hoping for another reaction. But nothing happened.
The doctor had told her not to give up. Coming completely out of a coma could be a slow process.
Well, she wasn’t giving up, but she had to go home. She’d already worked the morning shift at the sheriff’s office. Her grandmother was expecting her, and Ali knew there would be questions. It was impossible to keep spending so much time at the hospital without telling Gran June the whole story. They lived in the same house, after all.
Ali glanced at the subject of her thoughts. “I’m tired, Jake. You’d solve a lot of problems if you’d just wake up.” She walked from the window to his bedside. She had to tell him about Joanie again, whether he could understand or not.
“There’s a little girl waiting to meet you. She’s just nine months old, but I’ve told her all about you.” Ali eased next to Jake, careful not to disturb his elevated leg.
“I told her you were a quarterback on the football team and how you went to the state championship. I remember the newspaper headlines, The Hawk Leads Webster Tigers To Victory.” She smiled. “When you wake up, you can have the pleasure of telling her about your football days.”
Ali studied his freshly shaved face, then laced her fingers through his and gently squeezed his hand. There was no reaction, but she’d noticed subtle changes in him over the past few days. His color was better. The doctor said Jake’s vital signs had improved, and his tests showed more brain activity. That afternoon, when she’d come by, she had noticed frown creases along his forehead, but when she sang to him, he seemed to relax and they faded away.
“Oh, Jake.” She sighed. “I know you’re going to be upset because I didn’t tell you about Joanie, but I can take it. Just come back to us.”
She reached out her other hand and stroked his arm, wondering if the kiss they’d shared had been some kind of muscle reaction. Deep inside, she knew it wasn’t. Just as she knew that somehow Jake sensed her presence.
So she had to go with what worked. Ali leaned toward his mouth and whispered, “Okay, Jake, show me your stuff, fella.” She placed a soft kiss on his jaw in the hope of stimulating something. Anything.
She trembled as she braced her hands on either side of his head as her mouth met his. The kiss started slow and easy. She wasn’t expecting much, but she wanted everything. Suddenly but subtly, the kiss began to change. Jake’s lips became firmer, and…yes, they were moving against hers. Frozen, Ali opened her eyes, but she didn’t pull away. She wanted Jake to continue the kiss. He did, so sweetly it brought tears to her eyes.
Ali choked back a sob and sat back. A minute later, she laughed. “If I didn’t know better, Jake Hawkins, I’d say you were faking it. Most men can’t bring a woman to tears with a kiss when they’re awake, and you’re supposed to be out of it. No wonder I fell so hard for you.”
The hospital-room door swung open, and Cliff Hawkins walked in. “How’s it going?”
Startled, Ali jumped off the bed and wiped the tears from her face. “Ah…I was about to leave, and I…kissed Jake goodbye.” Her cheeks heated up. “He kissed me back again.”
“He did? That’s great.” Cliff took off his coat and tossed it on the vinyl chair in the corner. “Was it like before?”
Ali looked at him in confusion. “You mean…like yesterday?”
“No. Like…the last time he was home.”
Ali’s pulse raced. Oh, Lord! He couldn’t know, could he? No. There was no way. She met his gaze, waiting for his next move.
“Does he know about the baby?” Cliff asked. “Is she the reason he came home?”
Ali gasped and took a step backward, then she quickly regained her calm. “How did you…?”
“Find out?” he finished. “Wasn’t too hard to put together. My son called out your name instead of Darcie’s. And yesterday, when I went to my doctor’s appointment, I saw you carrying your baby into the clinic. I called to you, but I guess you didn’t hear me. I did get close enough to catch a good look at your daughter.” He smiled. “The resemblance between her and Jake is remarkable. She looks just like he did as a child.”
He reached into his suit-coat pocket. “If you need pictures to prove—”
Ali raised a hand to stop him. She couldn’t look at baby pictures, not now. “Okay, yes, Joanie is Jake’s daughter.” Your granddaughter, she silently added.
Cliff seemed relieved at her answer. “Does my son know he’s a father?”
Ali’s heart raced a hundred miles per hour at the thought of answering the questions she had known would come some day. But not now. She wasn’t ready. Jake should be told first.
“No, he doesn’t know.” She spoke barely above a whisper. “He left town before I could tell him.”
“Why didn’t you call me, Ali?” he asked. “I was here. I would do anything to bring Jake back.”
“But I wouldn’t.” Ali squared her shoulders. “If Jake cared, he would have stayed around.”
She looked up to examine Cliff Hawkins’s unreadable face.
“I take it this happened between you two…after Darcie left him?”
“Of course. I would never…” Ali couldn’t finish. She didn’t want to go into any details. “Jake loved Darcie. That’s the reason I didn’t try to contact him. I couldn’t trap him.” She shuddered as she took a long look at Jake. “But what if he doesn’t come out of this? He’ll never know….”
Cliff was the one to comfort her this time. “Hey, who’s been telling me everything is going to be okay? You’ve been the one who has been here every day getting him to respond. So don’t give up now.”
“I’ve been telling him all about Joanie, but I’m not sure he hears me, or…if he’ll ever hear anything. What if he never wakes up?”
“I think he does hear you, Ali,” Cliff offered as he looked over at his son lying in the bed. “I think his kiss was a way of communicating with you. But maybe we should try something else.”
Ali went to Jake’s side and picked up his hand. “Like what?”
“Maybe you should bring Joanie in.”
Ali gasped. “I can’t. She’s just a baby.”
“But she’s Jake’s daughter. Her being here could be just the thing to bring him around.”
Ali drew a long breath. “I don’t know….”
“What if it helps Jake?”
Ali studied Jake’s lifeless hand. “But the hospital has rules. How could I get them to let her in?”
Cliff began to smile, reminding her so much of his son. “Let me worry about that.”
