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His reaction had been everything she had expected yet it had hurt far more than she’d imagined it would to hear him call her a ‘devious little liar’ and a ‘cold-hearted bitch’, and know that she’d deserved it. She had set out to deceive him. She had deliberately led him on, although, in her own defence, she’d simply wanted to teach him a lesson, not break his heart, and the thought was so painful all of a sudden that she rushed on.
‘We just had a difference of opinion once upon a time and he hasn’t forgiven me for it.’
‘Funny. It’s not like him to bear a grudge.’ June frowned as she glanced over to where Adam was standing. ‘Oh, he’s a real tartar when it comes to work and won’t accept anything less than a hundred and ten percent effort from his staff, but I’ve always found him very fair, I have to say.’
Kasey didn’t say anything. There was no point trying to correct June when it would only lead to more questions. However, Adam certainly hadn’t behaved fairly towards her brother. He’d made Keiran’s life hell with his constant criticisms when her brother had worked for him. It had been so bad, in fact, that Keiran had given up medicine in the end and it had been the start of a downward spiral from which he was only now recovering.
‘Kasey’s an unusual name. How do you spell it? With a K or a C?’
Kasey was relieved to turn her thoughts to less stressful topics when Lorraine spoke to her. ‘With a K. My name is actually Kathleen Christine but it caused no end of confusion when I was a child. My gran was called Kathleen, you see, and each of her sons wanted to name their first daughter after her.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘It wouldn’t have been a problem if all four of them hadn’t had a girl. At family get-togethers Gran used to shout ‘Kathleen’ and we’d all come running. In the end she decided it was easier to call us by the initial letters of our names so I ended up as Kasey and it just sort of stuck.’
June laughed. ‘You should fit right in, then. We’re really big on nicknames. You’ll find a lot of the folk who work for Worlds Together have them.’
‘Really? So what’s Adam’s nickname?’ she asked, grinning.
‘I don’t have one.’
She spun round when she recognised the gravelly voice and felt her pulse leap when she found Adam standing behind her. It was an effort to respond with an outward show of calm when her heart was hammering but there was no way that she was letting him have the upper hand. ‘Why not? Surely it’s not beneath your dignity to have a nickname, Adam?’
‘Not at all. I’ve no idea why I haven’t been given one. Maybe you could suggest something?’
He had batted the ball right back into her side of the court and Kasey drummed up a laugh. ‘Oh, I can think of a few which would suit you but it might be wiser to keep them to myself in the interests of team harmony.’
‘How very diplomatic of you, Kasey. You’re obviously on your best behaviour today because it’s not like you to hold back. I got the distinct impression the last time we met that you rather enjoy causing a stir.’
‘Did you? I really can’t remember what happened, I’m afraid. Would you care to remind me?’ she challenged. If he thought he was going to make her back down by bringing up the past, he was in for a shock.
‘Oh, I don’t think it would be appropriate to tell everyone, do you?’ His voice dropped, the gravelly tones taking on a velvet smoothness that made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck spring to attention. ‘Some things are best remembered in private, Kasey. And that is definitely one of them.’
He gave her a slow smile then walked away. There was a moment’s stunned silence after he’d left before June let out a small gasp.
‘Phew! I don’t know about the rest of you but I can definitely feel a hot flush coming on!’
Everyone laughed as June fanned herself with her hand. Kasey shot her a grateful look, glad the nurse had helped to dispel the tension, but she couldn’t deny that she was shaken by what had happened. She’d known that Adam wouldn’t welcome her with open arms and had been prepared for his wrath, but it hadn’t been anger that she’d seen in his eyes just now, had it?
A shudder ran through her as she quickly excused herself, hearing the chatter that broke out as soon as she moved away from the group. The other women had seen it too so there was no point trying to tell herself that she’d been mistaken. Adam hadn’t threatened her—he hadn’t needed to because he’d used a far more effective method of evening the score, one that would cause maximum damage. He’d taken the attraction they’d felt for one another five years ago and used it against her. Now all she could do was wait and see what happened. But it wasn’t going to be easy, was it?
She closed her eyes as panic gripped her. Maybe she did still blame Adam for ruining her brother’s life, but it hadn’t stopped her wanting him before and it might not be enough to stop her wanting him again.
CHAPTER TWO (#u802e0e0a-b128-585f-aeb7-6116dd33197a)
‘IT’S not the ideal start by any means but we’ll just have to cope the best way we can.’
Adam looked around the room, hoping he’d managed to convince everyone that they shouldn’t let this latest setback deter them. His gaze landed on Kasey and lingered for a moment before he forced it to move on.
It had been a mistake to use that tone with her before and he couldn’t understand why he’d done it. The other women had picked up the sexual innuendo in his voice just as Kasey had done, and he hated to imagine what they must be thinking. He’d always guarded his private life, mainly because of the way he’d been brought up. As the only child of elderly parents who had discouraged any displays of emotion, he’d learned at an early age to keep his feelings to himself. It had only been when he’d met Kasey, in fact, that he’d opened up, and it was doubly galling to know that he hadn’t learned from his mistakes.
‘It should only be a couple of days before the bulk of our equipment arrives.’ He forced himself to concentrate on the problems they faced because it was pointless worrying about the mistakes he’d made, both past and present. ‘That means the theatre tents, generators, lighting equipment—things like that. We’ll be able to take all our drugs, dressings and surgical instruments with us because they’re within the weight restrictions so that’s something, at least.’
‘But where are we going to operate?’ David Preston, the other surgeon on the team, put in worriedly. ‘From what I’ve read, the hospitals over there are in an appalling state.’
‘My contact in Mwuranda has promised to get one of the theatres up and running before we arrive,’ Adam assured him. ‘We’ll be based in Arumba which is where the main hospital is situated. The equipment there will be very basic by our standards, of course, but that won’t matter too much because we’ll be taking all our surgical instruments with us. I’m confident that Matthias will be able to provide us with a sterile environment to work in and that’s the most important thing at the moment.’
‘What about the anaesthetic equipment?’ Kasey put in quietly. ‘It would be helpful to have some idea what’s available.’
‘I’ll have to check with Matthias about that and get back to you,’ he replied shortly, trying to keep the edge out of his voice, then sighed when he saw the look Mary and Lorraine exchanged. Obviously he’d failed to hide his feelings again and it was worrying to know how vulnerable he was around Kasey.
The thought was like the proverbial red rag and he had to make a conscious effort not to let her see how furious he was with her for putting him in this position. She must have known how hard he would find it to work with her yet she’d still gone ahead and joined the team. It just seemed to prove all over again how little she’d ever cared about him.
‘I suggest that you and Daniel work out if you’ll need to make any changes to the anaesthetic agents we’re taking with us.’ He handed her a printed list of the drugs, trying not to let that thought do any more damage. ‘You may need to order something to tide you over until our equipment arrives.’
‘Looks like we’d better dig out some old text-books,’ she said lightly, smiling at Daniel, who was sitting beside her. ‘I bet it’s been a while since you got out the ether.’
‘Too right! Still, I’m game for a bit of late-night swotting if you are, Kasey.’
Everyone laughed as Daniel leered suggestively at her. Adam stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets in case he gave in to the urge to thump the younger man on the nose. It was just the usual show of high-spirits everyone exhibited before setting off on a mission, he told himself sternly. It certainly didn’t mean that Daniel was seriously going to make a play for Kasey. However, it was hard to remain calm when he watched them leave the office together a short time later and it worried him that he should feel so possessive. Kasey had played him for a fool five years ago and he really shouldn’t care what she did!
‘Are you sure you’re up to handling this situation?’
He looked round when Shiloh approached him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s obvious there’s still something going on between you and Kasey Harris so I’d understand if you decided to delay the trip until another anaesthetist can be found.’
‘No.’ Adam was shaking his head even before his friend had finished speaking. ‘There’s no way that I’m putting it off for Kasey Harris or anyone else, for that matter. I’ve spent months planning this visit and if we don’t go now, we might not get another chance.’
‘Fair enough but just go easy on yourself, eh.’ Shiloh clapped him on the shoulder. ‘None of us are immune when Cupid’s arrow strikes. I should know because the last thing I’d intended was to fall head over heels in love when I met Rachel!’
‘I’m not in love with Kasey!’ Adam denied hotly.
‘No? That’s OK then, isn’t it.’
Shiloh didn’t say anything else before he left. However, Adam knew that his friend hadn’t believed him. He sighed as he shut the door and sat down behind his desk because he couldn’t help wondering what he was going to do. He wasn’t in love with Kasey any more but he did still have feelings for her; that was obvious. He wasn’t sure exactly what sort of feelings they were but he would have to be on his guard from now on. He’d be thrown off balance by seeing her today but from this point on he would think of Dr Kasey Harris as just another member of his team. And if she didn’t come up to scratch, she would have to leave because he certainly wasn’t doing her any favours after what she’d done to him!
He groaned because his resolve to treat her as just another member of the team had lasted the whole of ten seconds. How on earth was he going to get through the next four weeks?
Kasey was the last to arrive at Worlds Together’s headquarters the following evening. Although, Shiloh had given her instructions on how to find the dockside warehouse, she must have taken a wrong turning somewhere along the way. She groaned as everyone sent up a resounding cheer when she walked into the building.
‘Sorry. I’ve no excuse for being late. I’m just a really rotten map reader!’
‘So long as you made it in the end,’ June said cheerfully. ‘Anyway, you’ve not missed much. Adam was just running through the rosters although they’ll probably change in a couple of days’ time. Once the heat’s on, everyone just mucks in and gets the job done.’
‘Fine by me,’ Kasey agreed, sitting down on a packing case. She glanced at Adam and raised her brows when he gave her a cold stare. She’d made up her mind last night that no matter what he said or did, she wasn’t going to react. Cool and professional seemed the best method of approach so she would stick to that.
‘Over to you then, Adam,’ she said sweetly.
‘As I was saying, we’ll work the usual twelve-hour shifts to start with. The important thing to remember is that we have to pace ourselves. I don’t want any heroics and people trying to prove they can do the job better than anyone else because it will cause more problems than it will solve. We need good, steady work and that’s all.’
He ignored her as he looked around the assembled group but she could tell from his tone that his remarks had been aimed at her. After all, she was the only one without any experience of working in the field so he didn’t need to remind the others about what was required of them. Her temper moved a notch up the scale although she forbore to say anything. If Adam was trying to provoke a reaction, he’d have to try harder than that.
‘I’m afraid that conditions are worse than I thought. My contact, Matthias, managed to get a message to me last night to warn me that there are several rebel groups still active in the area where we’ll be based. The Mwurandan government is doing everything it can to restore order but there’s no guarantee they’ll have the situation under control by the time we arrive.’
Once again his gaze swept over them and once again he ignored her. Kasey’s temper moved another notch up the scale.
‘This mission is going to be both difficult and dangerous,’ he concluded. ‘So if anyone wishes to back out, now is the time to do so.’
This time his gaze landed squarely on her and her spine stiffened when she saw the challenge in his eyes. It was obvious that he didn’t believe she was up to the job and it stung to know what a poor opinion he had of her.
‘If that was directed at me, Adam, then I hate to disappoint you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.’
‘It wasn’t directed specifically at anyone. I just want to be sure that everyone understands the problems we will have to face.’
She flushed when she heard the dismissive note in his voice. She knew that he’d used it deliberately to cut her down to size and didn’t need the sympathetic smile June gave her to prove that. The meeting broke up shortly afterwards but she knew that she had to sort out the situation soon. It would be hard enough to cope with the pressures of the job without having Adam getting at her all the time. When he left the main part of the warehouse, she followed him.
‘We need to talk—’
‘I haven’t time to soothe your injured feelings,’ he said shortly, striding into the office. ‘If you don’t like the way I treated you then you know what to do.’
‘And that’s what you want, is it? You want me to leave?’
‘Frankly, I don’t give a damn what you do, Kasey. What I won’t put up with is you expecting special treatment.’ He sat down behind the overflowing desk and picked up a bundle of papers. ‘You’re just another member of the team as far as I’m concerned so don’t go getting it into your head that I’m singling you out.’
‘Rubbish! You wouldn’t have spoken that way to any of the others.’ Her anger rocketed the rest of the way up the scale and she glared at him. ‘You don’t want me on this team because of what happened five years ago so don’t try telling me that you aren’t singling me out when it’s blatantly obvious that’s exactly what you are doing. You haven’t forgiven me for what I did to you, have you, Adam? You can’t accept that I got the better of you!’
‘You’re wrong. I accepted it at the same time I accepted what a fool I’d been to think I was in love with you.’ His eyes grazed over her, filled with such contempt that her heart trembled with sudden pain. ‘The truth is that I was never in love with you, Kasey. The woman I loved was an illusion, someone you conjured up to pay me back for what you mistakenly believed I’d done to your brother. And that Kasey Harris doesn’t exist.’
He pushed back his chair and stood up. Kasey didn’t move as he brushed past her. She couldn’t because movement demanded too much effort. What Adam had accused her of doing was true. She had set out to make him fall for her because of what he’d done to Keiran. What he was wrong about was that she’d taken on a different persona or, as he’d put it, conjured up a different Kasey Harris. She hadn’t needed to do that because from the moment they’d met she had responded to him instinctively.
A sob welled to her lips but she bit it back because there was no point crying now. It wouldn’t help and certainly wouldn’t change what had happened. The truth was that the Kasey Harris he’d fallen in love with had been her real self; the woman who had broken his heart had been the myth, the person she’d created. And what made it all so much worse was that Adam would never believe her if she told him that.
‘Not exactly the Hilton, is it?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. It has a certain exotic charm,’ Kasey replied in response to June’s quip.
They’d just arrived at the hostel where they would be living during their stay in Mwuranda after a long and tiring journey. Their plane had turned out to be an old cargo aircraft, chartered by the Red Cross to deliver a consignment of food and clothing to the country. Make-shift seats had been squeezed into the hold between the packing cases so the noise of the engines had been deafening. After all those hours spent in such noisy and cramped surroundings anywhere looked good.
‘Exotic is right.’ June swatted a massive cockroach off the chest of drawers and shuddered. ‘You don’t get wildlife this big in Surbiton!’
‘Look on the bright side,’ Kasey said, chuckling. ‘Once you’ve dealt with one of these little suckers, your average British beetle is child’s play!’
She looked round when Lorraine and Mary suddenly appeared. There were four beds in the room and they’d obviously decided to join them. ‘Welcome to the bridal suite,’ she declared in her most unctuous tone. ‘We hope your stay here will be everything you expect it to be.’
‘Sadly, that will probably turn out to be the case,’ Lorraine said pithily, looking round. ‘What a dump. It’s a good job my Tim didn’t book us into somewhere like this for our honeymoon or it would have been the shortest marriage on record!’
‘You mean you don’t like it?’ Kasey looked affronted as she swept the cover off one of the narrow single beds. ‘No expense has been spared to provide us with the ultimate in comfort. I mean, just inhale that aroma. Eau de mildew if I’m not mistaken.’
‘You were warned about the conditions before you came, Dr Harris, so I hope you aren’t going to bombard us with an on-going litany of complaints.’
Kasey swung round when she heard Adam’s voice coming from the doorway. She hadn’t spoken to him to since he’d walked out of the office the previous night. He’d been sitting near the front of the plane when she’d boarded it so she’d deliberately chosen a seat at the rear to avoid him. However, his attitude towards her obviously hadn’t softened during the journey, she realised when she saw the chill in his eyes.
‘I wasn’t complaining, Dr Chandler. I was merely making an observation. I assume it isn’t against the rules to voice an opinion?’
‘Not so long as it doesn’t create unrest within the team.’ He stared back at her, unwilling to give an inch let alone concede that he might possibly be over-reacting. ‘Team harmony is essential and I shall come down extremely hard on anyone who undermines it.’
He didn’t add anything else before he went on his way but he’d said more than enough by that point. June grimaced.
‘Someone seems to have left his sense of humour at home. Try not to let it get to you, Kasey. His bark really is worse than his bite.’
‘I’m not sure if I want to test out that theory,’ she replied lightly, not wanting the others to know how much it had hurt to be spoken to in that fashion. The fact that it had been so unjust to reprimand her was what really rankled but there was little she could do about it. If she caused a fuss then Adam would accuse her of disrupting the team and use it as an excuse to send her back to England.
Well, if that was what he was hoping for, he was going to be disappointed, she decided, stiffening her spine. She could put up with anything he cared to dish out!
They unpacked their bags then June checked her watch. ‘It’s only four o’clock so how about a tour of the building before dinner to get our bearings?’
‘Good idea,’ Kasey agreed immediately although the other two shook their heads.
‘I’m bushed,’ Mary exclaimed, sinking down onto one of the beds. ‘I need a bit of shut-eye if I’m to be the life and soul of the party this evening.’
‘What party?’ Kasey asked in surprise.
‘Oh, it’s a bit of a tradition with Adam. He always has a get-together on our first night,’ Lorraine explained. ‘He sees it as a way for us all to bond. Anyhow, I think I’ll follow Mary’s example and test out the bed springs while you two intrepid souls go exploring. Have fun.’
‘We’ll do our best,’ Kasey replied, following June out of the room.
They made their way along the corridor, peering into the rooms they passed. They’d been told that the hostel had been used by students from the local college before the rebel uprising and the facilities were very basic. All the bedrooms were fitted out exactly like their room with four single beds and a chest of drawers. There was no carpet on any of the floors but the worn brown linoleum had been swept clean. There was also a small bathroom at the end of the corridor with a lavatory next to it and she heaved a sigh of relief.
‘At least we have indoor plumbing. I had visions of having to creep out of the building in the middle of the night to go to the loo.’
‘All mod cons by the look of it,’ June declared, flushing the toilet.
They made their way up the stairs to the floor above which was exactly the same: bedrooms with a bathroom and a lavatory at the end of the corridor. Although everywhere smelled a little musty, it was obvious that attempts had been made to clean the place in readiness for their arrival.
‘It’s better than I expected,’ Kasey admitted as they went down to the ground floor where a large square entrance hall led to a sitting room on one side and a dining room on the other with the kitchen and storerooms beyond that.
‘It is. I had no idea what to expect when Adam told me where we would be staying.’ June shrugged when she looked at her in surprise. ‘Although I’ve been on a lot of missions, I’ve never been to an area like this before where they’ve only recently stopped fighting so I wasn’t sure how bad the facilities would be.’
‘I see. That makes me feel a bit better. I thought I was the only one who didn’t have any experience and you were all old hands at this game,’ she confessed wryly.
‘Not at all. OK, so most of us have worked overseas and you haven’t but working in a war zone will be a whole new experience for all of us except Adam, of course. He’s already done a stint here.’
‘Really?’ Kasey stopped and stared at her. ‘Adam’s worked here before?’
‘Yes. Didn’t you know? He spent a year in Mwuranda with a French aid team but they pulled out when the fighting started. Adam decided to stay on and he only came back to England because he was injured, quite badly, too, I believe, although he never talks about it.’ June sighed. ‘I always thought there was more to it than just a desire to help which kept him here. It was almost as though he didn’t care about his own safety.’
‘When did this all happen?’ she asked slowly, feeling a cold chill envelop her.
‘I’m not sure…four, five years ago. Something like that.’
Which would be shortly after she’d told him how she’d tricked him, she realised sickly. Had that been the reason why Adam had shown such disregard for his own safety..because he’d been so upset by what she’d done that he’d no longer cared what had happened to him? She didn’t want to believe it but the timing pointed towards it being true. Frankly, she didn’t know how it made her feel to know that he’d put his life in danger because of her actions, but it did make her see how difficult it would be to resolve their differences.
