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“For a walk. Give me a second.” He marched to his truck, ducked inside the front cab and came up with a leather bomber jacket. It was worn, its soft leather cracking a bit and the lambswool lining thick enough to warm a body in a snowstorm. “This will do,” he said. “You gotta know these nights get cold.”
“I didn’t think I’d be spending a lot of time outside this late.”
“It’s not late and we’ve hardly gotten started.”
He wrapped the jacket around her shoulders and she fit her arms through the sleeves. The jacket was two sizes too big for her, the shoulder seams going partway down her arms and the hem nearly touching her knees. Watching her platinum curls bounce off the collar, he gripped the lapels and drew her closer. Her eyes, big and green and surprised, snapped up to his. She was unique, a throwback to a classic fifties movie starlet with that ice-blond hair, an innocent expression that proved deadly and a luscious mouth painted pink and rosy.
“Warm enough?”
She glanced at his mouth for a split second, a tempting little look that pulled his groin taut.
“Uh-huh.”
He hesitated to let her go.
Moments ticked by as they stared into each other’s eyes. His grip tightened on the fabric, his knuckles grazing her torso just an inch from the two full ripe breasts that had given him a sliver of heaven once. He hadn’t forgotten.
He heaved a big sigh and let go. Immediately, she tugged the jacket tight across her chest and crossed her arms.
Justin put a hand on her back again, guiding her down the street. “When I drove up, I saw a town square. There’s a gazebo we can use. Or we can just sit in my truck with the motor running and the heater on.”
She shook her head at that notion and he was glad of it. Kat warm and comfy in the cab of his truck wouldn’t serve either of them well. The last time they’d been alone together in close quarters they’d had a marathon of combustible sex. Justin still felt the pull of attraction to her, but the stakes were too high now for any wrong move.
They walked south with light from the streetlamps leading the way. A few people were out for a brisk stroll, and Justin and Kat both smiled cordially or nodded their heads in greeting while they pressed on. The gazebo was visible in the distance, marking the center of the town square. They walked past park benches and down a garden path until they reached it. Luckily, they had it all to themselves.
Justin led her to a wooden bench that was painted white and she sat down. Behind her, past the lattice, flood lamps lit the surrounding shrubs, giving off enough faint light so that they could see each other’s faces. Justin paced for a second, pulling in his scattered emotions.
“Tell me about Connor.”
Kat’s face beamed immediately and her voice took on a whimsical, loving tone. “He’s an amazing little boy. He was born healthy and strong. His Apgar rating was ten.”
“What’s an Apgar rating?”
“It’s a test they do at birth, named after the doctor who invented it. It measures things like heart rate and breathing and muscle tone. Ten is the highest score a baby can get.”
Justin nodded. Unfamiliar pride pierced his heart.
“When I brought him home from the hospital, he took to breast-feeding right away. He’s a good eater and a pretty sound sleeper. You have to know a few little Connor tricks to get him to take a nap and I’m learning just like he is, every day.”
“What kind of tricks?”
“Well, first I give him a bottle. And then I sing to him. If that doesn’t work, I show him a Sesame Street video clip on my phone. He’s crazy about some of the characters. And once he’s mellow, I hum to him, some of his favorite baby tunes. When I get him to sleep, sometimes I just watch him breathe and thank my blessings for him every minute of every—”
Kat stopped talking abruptly. “I’m...sorry.”
Regret pumped through his veins. “So am I.”
“It’s done, Justin. We can’t change the past.”
“I’ll never get those months back, Kat. I lost all that time with Connor.”
Sympathy settled in her eyes. “I know that. I can’t imagine what that’s like. But if you had known, it’s not like you would’ve seen Connor that much. You were serving in the military.”
“That’s not the point. He has a family here and I would’ve done what I could to spend time with him. To acknowledge him, even if I couldn’t watch him grow. But that’s all going to change starting right this second. I’m going to be a major part of his life now. He’s going to know I’m his father.”
“No, Justin.” Kat’s green eyes sharpened. “You can’t do that to Mattie. It’ll kill her. If you take that baby away from her, she’ll die. I swear to you, she’ll go into cardiac arrest.”
Justin took a step back, noting the warning in her voice. Was she serious or overstating the facts?
“You have no idea,” she continued. “When I got here two months ago, she’d just been released from the hospital. She’d had a major heart attack after she learned of Brett’s death. She had no reason to live. She’d lost fifteen pounds, and as you can see, she’s a small woman to begin with, and she didn’t want any part of rehab. She was living in the house alone. I saw the hopelessness in her eyes, Justin. It reminded me, of...well, of my own mother. When I told her my story, about how I met Brett and conceived his child, she...she made a remarkable comeback. In just the few months I’ve been here, she’s put on weight and her whole outlook has changed. Her heart is still damaged and she has to take it easy, but the doctor has told her over and over that our little Connor is her antidote to heart disease. You have to believe me. You cannot tell that woman that Connor isn’t Brett’s son.”
“That’s hardly fair, Kat. I’ve already missed out on so much with Connor. And it’s not fair to the boy to deprive him of his real father.”
“Do you want to be responsible for putting Aunt Mattie back in the hospital...or worse?”
Damn it. His gut told him Kat was telling the truth. The blow was hard to take. He didn’t want to deny his son a father a second longer. But he’d seen Matilda Applegate with his own eyes. She was frail and weakened. She certainly looked older than her seventy years in body, but when her gaze lit on Connor, it had a youthful spirited glow. He hated to admit it but that woman’s life revolved around that little boy.
Every day of Justin’s life, Brett’s death gnawed at him. He’d vowed that once he returned home, he’d come clean and speak with Brett’s aunt. Telling Mattie the truth about Brett’s death would go a long way in clearing his conscience. It had taken Justin three days to build up the courage to visit the woman and he’d been prepared to lay it all on the line. But now, as he studied Kat’s determined expression, the set of her delicate jaw and the plea in her eyes, he was boxed into a corner. “I don’t want to hurt Mattie Applegate.”
“Then...don’t.”
“I want to know my son.”
“You will. I promise.” Her voice held conviction.
Justin stared at her. A promise from Katherine Grady? Could he trust her? The fool in him, who saw her as a beautiful, sexy, desirable woman, wanted so badly to believe her, but he couldn’t chance it. The stakes were just too high. He had every right to know his son, to learn Connor tricks and comfort him when he was tired and grumpy. He wanted to bond with him and give him fatherly love.
Justin stepped closer to her. She smelled like gardenias, fresh and fragrant and distinct. Her light springtime scent contrasted sharply with the time of year, the chill in the air. “What are you suggesting?”
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