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Justin left Logan’s office and walked to his bedroom in the opposite wing of the house. Baseball trophies from his Little League days sat next to a smattering of CDs and DVDs from his teen years on a bookshelf. Textbooks were stacked one on top of the other, and his old dial-up computer that deserved a spot on Antiques Roadshow was stored on the lower shelf. Justin grinned at the old thing, thinking how far technology had progressed since his childhood. When he’d arrived home, he made a vow to tackle this room and get it up to speed ASAP. But he hadn’t brought order to the chaos yet. There was something mildly comforting in having things as they were...at least for a little while longer.
His brother Luke had seen fit to order the only new item in the room, a king-size bed to replace the single he’d had since he was a boy. When he sat down, the firm mattress supported his weight and he smiled as he stared directly across the room at the walk-in closet that had once doubled as a fort, a secret hideaway and an imaginary campground.
For the past nine years, he’d gotten used to close quarters with only the essentials of everyday life. Just a short time ago, his entire personal space on the outpost could fit inside that walk-in closet.
He closed his eyes for a moment. An image of Brett appeared. He couldn’t force it from his mind.
He was holding Brett’s limp body. His face was streaked with blood, clear blue eyes suddenly wild in the face of death. Crimson puddles pooled over Brett’s belly. Justin’s hand pressed down on the bloody seepage.
“Get out of here. I’ve lost this bet.”
“Hang on, buddy. Stay with me, Brett. Brett.”
Eyes devoid of life stared back at him. His friend’s warmth turned to ice.
Justin lay there with him, clinging to his body.
Shedding tears.
Justin snapped his eyes open. His body jerked involuntarily and he bounded from the bed. He paced, pounding the floor with his boots, back and forth, back and forth, with his head down. Tremors made it hard to breathe. His heart raced.
Brett’s bloody face remained.
He’d died four months ago and for all those months, the grief and guilt had been eating at Justin.
He forced his mind to turn to something else.
Connor’s chubby cheeks and vivid dark eyes filled his thoughts. Images of the little boy, so small yet so mighty, slowed his racing pulse. His breaths came easier now.
Connor.
Justin thought of the boy with proprietary pride.
He had to find out for sure if the boy was truly his son.
* * *
“I’m going in to kiss Connor good-night,” Kat whispered to Aunt Mattie from outside the bedroom door. “He’ll most likely sleep through the night. Thank you again for watching him.”
Aunt Mattie gestured with a wave of the hand. “Don’t you worry about a thing. You have a nice visit with Cecelia now. Doris is coming for a cup of tea. We’ll watch out for our little boy.”
Kat tiptoed into Brett’s old room—which she now shared with her son—and made her way to the snow-white crib on loan from one of Matilda’s neighbors. She smiled at the sight of Connor asleep atop baby-blue sheets with cartoon monkeys printed on them. “You be a good baby now. Sleep tight,” she murmured, placing an air kiss over Connor’s cheek. “Mama loves you.”
She lingered there a few extra moments, watching him breathe, in and out, his plump baby chest rising and falling. This little person, cozy in a terry-cloth sleeper decorated with brown footballs, filled her world with joy. She’d never get over the miracle of her unexpected but cherished son. It was hard to leave him, if even for a short while, but this meeting tonight had to happen.
Kat hated lying to Aunt Mattie. But she couldn’t think of any way around it. At least a lie didn’t feel so much like a lie if there was some truth in it. So Kat had told Matilda she was picking up a check from Cecelia Tilton for the baby clothes she’d put on consignment at her boutique. A month ago, when Kat had mentioned Babylicious, her budding online store featuring the fashionable and affordable baby clothes she designed, a very gracious Cecelia had offered her a place in her shop to help promote her work. Cecelia’s home wasn’t far from Blossom and this afternoon Kat had phoned the woman to make the arrangements.
Her conscience continued to nag her as she left the house and headed to Cecilia’s. But half an hour later, as she drove away from the shop owner’s home with a small check in hand, she felt a little better. Three hundred and forty dollars would go a long way in helping Mattie pay for her medications.
Kat shelved thoughts of business as soon as she pulled up to Blossom. Her heart in her throat, she shook off tremors of doubt, straightened her frame, held her head high and walked into the deserted café. Blossom was known more for their savory hot breakfasts and so-so lunch salads. Not too many patrons dared their blue plate specials at this hour of the evening.
Kat spotted Justin sitting in a corner booth with his head down, looking impatiently at his phone. Her tremors took on a different character as memories rushed in of that weekend she’d spent with him. She’d let down her guard for two days with a hot, charming, understanding man, who’d left his indelible stamp on her. She’d thought about him for weeks afterward but had convinced herself he wasn’t right for her. He hadn’t been enough. She’d wanted more out of life than he could offer. They’d ended things civilly with no illusions of anything else developing between them.
On a steadying breath, Kat lifted her chin and ventured farther into the café. But a piece of broken grout between the floor tiles trapped her four-inch heel, throwing her off balance. Flailing her arms, she managed not to fall flat on her face. But darn if the perfectly dignified entrance she’d plotted in her head wasn’t shot to hell.
Justin saw the whole thing.
As she walked closer, he took in her clothes with his piercing gaze. She wore stretch blue jeans and a billowy white top tucked under a cropped jacket. A sterling silver rope chain made of entwined oblong circles dangled from her neck. On her wrist she wore a matching bracelet.
The clothes were her own designs and had been rejected by every major fashion house in New York City.
“You’re late,” Justin said, rising from his seat.
“Babies aren’t predicable. It always seems to take longer than you think to put them down to sleep.”
He gave her excuse some thought. Then his lips thinned. “I wouldn’t know.”
Oh, boy. Kat got it. He wasn’t happy about the circumstances, but then neither was she. If they were going to accomplish anything, they would have to agree to civility. By this time of night, after a day of taking care of a baby and an aging woman, Kat was pooped and not up to verbal sparring. “I can leave and we can do this another time...when your attitude is better.”
Justin swore under his breath. His mouth clamped down and he sent her a long thoughtful look. Then like magic, his demeanor changed before her eyes. His body visibly loosened up, as if on command, and he gave her a reluctant but gracious smile. “You’re right. I apologize. Please sit down so we can talk.”
Accepting his apology, she dropped into a cushioned seat facing him and set her purse down beside her. As she looked across the café table, a quick zip of awareness caught her off guard as she really, really studied Justin’s handsome face.
My God...Connor looks exactly like him.
Yes, their hair and eyes were the same color, but Connor shared Justin’s wide full mouth, too, and a deep dimple that popped out on the left side when they smiled. She couldn’t begin to count how many times she’d kissed that disappearing dimple on her baby’s face. Their skin tones were smooth and olive and she imagined Connor would easily tan golden-brown just like Justin when he got older. They shared the same hairline that cut a neat straight line across their forehead. Connor would have the same arrow-sharp nose, too, when he grew up.
Her son’s adorable baby features were a precursor to Justin Slade’s adult appearance.
His brows furrowed. “Who’s watching the baby?”
“Aunt Mattie and Doris Brubaker are with Connor.”
She went on to explain, “Doris is a neighbor. We’re friends, and I asked her to stay with Aunt Mattie until I got back. They’re having tea and I don’t want to impose on them any longer than necessary.”
“Okay. Let’s get on with it, then. Ladies first.”
“You told me you were Brett Applegate. I want to know why you lied to me.” Then she added, “I would appreciate the truth.”
“Just remember that when it’s my turn to ask questions.”
A waitress wearing a snappy blue outfit and white tights showed up at the table with a notepad. “Hi, I’m Toni, and I’ll be serving you tonight. Have you looked at the menu yet? Just so you know, the blue plate special is—”
“Decaf coffee for me,” Kat said. Her stomach knotted at the thought of food. “That’s all I’d like.”
“I’ll have the same,” Justin said, nodding to the young girl. “Thank you.”
“No cherry pie or apple cobbler?”
They both shook their heads. “Okay, I’ll be back with your coffee in a sec.”
Kat watched the waitress walk away and then turned to Justin. “You were about to tell me why you lied to me that weekend.”
The muscles in Justin’s face pinched tight, a distant look in his eyes hinting at regret. “I lost a bet.”
Kat blinked. “You lost a bet? What does that mean?”
He leaned forward, his elbows flat on the table. The material of his navy shirt pulled taut across his broad shoulders, and it wasn’t hard to remember what he’d looked like with a shirt off. She could almost feel the sensation of touching his golden skin and ripped muscles under her fingertips now. “It means Brett beat me at arm wrestling. Best of five.”
Kat didn’t like where this was going. “So?”
“So, I made this stupid bet with him, because I never thought I’d have to pay up. He was egging me on in front of my men until I finally thought, what the hell. I’d never lost a match to Brett before. If he won, I’d have to trade places with him the next time we had time off. We’d switch wallets—and the cash and credit cards inside—and assume each other’s identity with...” Justin’s lips snapped shut. He ran his fingers over his mouth and winced.
Kat caught on. “With women?”
He gave her a slow nod.
“So, the weekend you spent with me was to pay off a bet? You used me...lied to me...had no intention of ever telling me the truth?”
Something hard flickered in his eyes. “I didn’t use you. If you remember correctly, I didn’t pressure you for anything. And you made it clear you wanted no ties to a hick from a small town, remember? We didn’t exchange so much as cell phone numbers when I walked out your door.”
That was beside the point. He’d been amazing that weekend and by the time the second night rolled around, Kat couldn’t imagine not sharing her bed with him. He’d been compassionate and kind and patient and just what she’d needed at that moment in her life.
Maybe he’d assumed more than Brett’s identity that weekend; maybe Justin had taken on Brett’s personality, as well. That weekend helped heal some of her old wounds. She’d needed a strong shoulder and an understanding heart. It hadn’t been all fun and games between them, it had been unexpectedly more. “I’d put it a little gentler than that, Justin. But yes, it’s true. I couldn’t get romantically involved with a man that wouldn’t—”
“Serve your purposes?”
She tried harder to explain. “Didn’t fit into the life I wanted. Don’t forget, you lied about who you were and that might have altered my decision about the weekend.”
“You mean if you’d known I was a loaded Nevada rancher, you might have taken me to bed one night sooner?”
Her cheeks burned. His accusation was a hard slap to her face. He wasn’t going to get away with it. “You have no right to judge me. You have no idea who I am and what I’ve been through. I didn’t ask you to come over to me at that hotel bar.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to meet a beautiful woman? It was obvious you were waiting for someone. You kept checking your watch. I figured some jerk stood you up. And I was right. He didn’t give a crap that your mother had recently passed away, did he?”
That jerk had been Michael Golden, the heir to the entire Golden Hotel chain. It was a blind date. Later, she’d found out from her friend that he’d been called out of town suddenly and hadn’t gotten word to her. She’d been waiting for him more than an hour when Justin strolled up to her table.
The waitress walked over and set their coffee cups down. Taking one look at the intense discussion at the table, she lowered her voice. “I’ll be in the back if you need anything else.”
Justin gave her a sharp nod and she strode away.
Steam wafted up from Kat’s ceramic mug of decaf and she moved it out of her line of vision. “I told you that night, I didn’t date soldiers.”
“We told each other a lot of things.”
“But what I said to you, what I confessed during those two days that we were together was the truth. You can’t say the same, can you?
He pursed his lips and hung his shoulders. “No.”
She leaned back in her seat and stared at him.
He stared back. “I’d like to know something. How hard did you try to find Brett?”
Her lids lowered. “I wrote to him and he never answered back. I don’t know if he ever received my letter.”
“One letter was all he was worth to you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“We were stationed in a forward operating base in Delaram, the third battalion of the 4th Marines. I know I mentioned that.”
“All I heard you say was Afghanistan. I didn’t want to know the details. I didn’t remember anything else. It doesn’t really matter now. Clearly, it wasn’t Brett I slept with that night. It was you. But I didn’t know that because you lied about your identity.”
Justin shook his head. “I didn’t know we’d conceived a child.”
“Obviously,” she said. “I wasn’t planning on having a child, either, but I wouldn’t trade having Connor in my life for anything.” A surge of emotion brought tears to her eyes. “My son is everything to me.”
When she’d finally looked Brett’s family up and come to Silver Springs to do the right thing, Aunt Mattie had given her the news of Brett’s death. Brett had died in action, and Kat couldn’t help but think if she’d tried harder to find him, he wouldn’t have taken chances. Maybe he wouldn’t have died at all and maybe Mattie Applegate’s heart wouldn’t have been broken. Now Kat understood that wasn’t the case at all because if her letter had reached Brett, he would’ve put two and two together and shown it to his buddy. He would’ve known the baby she carried wasn’t his but Justin’s.
It was a sad set of circumstances and she’d lived with the guilt of not trying to find Brett sooner. But in the end, she had done the right thing. “I know there were some things I could have done differently. I...didn’t.” She shrugged a shoulder, not knowing what else to say. “I just didn’t.”
Justin peered deep into her eyes. “There are things I would’ve done differently, too, had I known. Tell me one thing. Do you believe that Connor is my son?”
She didn’t hesitate. She’d always known exactly when she conceived her little boy. “I know he is.”
For a moment tears welled in Justin’s eyes. The hard planes of his face softened and his shoulders fell with relief. As he took it all in, he began nodding and Kat saw his expression transform suddenly. Determination set his jaw. “It’s been a year and a half.”
“Yes. Almost.”
He blinked and then blew breath from his lungs.
Just then the waitress walked into the room and said, “I’ve got to start closing up, but you can finish your coffee. Don’t mind me.”
She glanced at the two cups that had gone untouched and then looked away.
Justin pulled a twenty out of his wallet and set it down on the table. Then he rose to his full six-foot-two height and reached for Kat’s hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Where?”
“Doesn’t matter. We need to finish this conversation.”
Reluctantly, she took his hand and let him lead her out of the café.
Three
His hand across her lower back, Justin guided Kat out of the café. Darkness and the chilly night air surrounded them and Kat shivered. “Get your coat,” Justin said.
“I didn’t bring one. Why, where are we going?”
